


Inevitable

by Danistalley12



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Summer Camp, F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-10
Updated: 2017-02-26
Packaged: 2018-04-13 23:56:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 94,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4542387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Danistalley12/pseuds/Danistalley12
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Camp Jaha. Now owned by the Griffin family, just the thought of it made the adult version of the brunette shudder when she reminisced about her childhood after being forced to endure the camp almost every single year of her schooling life. She had only just returned from a yearlong adventure in Europe, a rash decision she had made after a very messy break up with the woman she thought she would spend the rest of her life with. Now that she had returned, she desperately needed money if she wanted to finish her college career so when her parent’s suggested she should return to her old summer camp; she wasn’t sure she had a choice. She was prepared for all of the bad memories to come flooding back; what she wasn’t prepared for was how quickly she form a bond with a girl she hadn’t seen in years.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back! 
> 
> Just a few quick things! This story is obviously going to be very different to my last (I can guarantee that no one is going to become infected so you're safe there) but the tone is going to be polar opposite to lead me home so just keep that in mind. 
> 
> I'm also planning on making this story a little shorter than my other ones but we'll see how that goes! 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy the first chapter. I always hate the first chapter because I'm trying to find my foot holes within the story but I promise it will pick up :)

When she really thought about it, it was always going to be inevitable that Lexa stood in the very same place that she used to fear so greatly when she was much younger. It was as if her life had looped into one big circle and she was being forced to relive the things that made her so uncomfortable that is almost pained her to think about it.  

 

It was the place that Lexa would have countless nightmares about when she was younger; where she had been abandoned for weeks on end before her parents decided they would take her home again once the summer had come and gone. It was a place she never thought she would have to see again; she thought she would never have to relive the memories that were quickly flashing back through her mind so suddenly. It was dirty, it was rustic and it could be chaotic; a place that Lexa tried to avoid thinking about at all costs. She would try to erase any memories of what happened in that place but as she sat in the rental car; outside the place she had spent all of her summers as a kid, she could block out those memories no more. She had parked the car outside of Camp Jaha, the summer camp she had been sent to every year even up until her sophomore year of high school; she kind of got the picture that her parents enjoyed palming her off to someone else for a majority of her summer break.

 

She took the keys from the ignition; sighing loudly as she looked up at the giant welcome sign that was neatly tied between two large trees on the fringe of the camp grounds. She was an overly awkward child, her confidence in herself only coming to her as she grew and started college. She was studying to hopefully become a pediatrician, in her last year of medical school; which she should have already graduated from at that point but she had run into a few personal problems that had delayed her study and completion of her field of choice. Lexa had always been interested in the medical field, her father was a surgeon and her mother was a chiropractor so although it was her choice to take the long, hard road to becoming a medical professional; she was always going influenced by her parent’s persistent encouragement. It had taken her whole high school career to figure out what she wanted to do; she had always been interested in sports, playing on multiple school teams every year and she was pretty good at them so it didn’t surprise her when she once considered a career as a sports physical therapist. She was a natural swimmer, a decent soccer player and dabbled in a bit of field hockey as well but thankfully she was more than intelligent enough to over achieve in her studies to help her get as far as she had on her own merit.

 

Needless to say with the professions that her parents were in Lexa’s family was wealthy but she never saw a cent of it after she had left home; they wanted her to stay in Colorado but she always wanted to move to Los Angeles, choosing rather to follow her own path over the promise of complete financial stability. More times than not her stubbornness lead her into trouble and that was no exception; she wanted to create her own destiny, knowing that if she succeeded or failed she at least did it trying her hardest. College wasn’t cheap though nor was living in California, that was an obvious statement and although she managed to receive some funding thanks to her consistently high grades; it certainly wasn’t enough for her to only study so she worked multiple jobs at a time and put herself to use during the summers. She even went as far as becoming a qualified life guard at a local water park as soon as she moved just so she could get some steady summer work, figuring she had a better chance at being employed if she was at least properly qualified in something. She knew it would have been much easier if she had stayed in Colorado, she knew she wouldn’t have half the stress mounted on her as she did living in LA if she had just agreed with her parents to stay in her home state to complete her studies but Lexa was hard headed. She was a shy and timid child that had grown into a strong and independent young woman who was hell bent on making her own way through the world, wanting to prove to herself that she could manage a life on her own two feet.

 

In that moment she almost wondered how she had ended up back in front of her old Summer Camp, a place where her childhood nightmares were lived out to the point where she had to remind herself that the people she was so terrified of had long moved on. She hated Camp Jaha because all it would represent to her was the countless weeks she was bullied for being quieter or picked on because she was different to the other kids or because her parents might have been a little wealthier than theirs and she learnt all too well how relentless children could be. She found it difficult as a child to make friends; people seemed to be drawn to her as she grew older and she knew that had something to do with her admittedly decent looks but she liked to think she had developed her personality as she had gotten older also. She _almost_ wondered how she had ended up there but she knew exactly why and she knew it was all her fault, having no one else to blame but herself for being in exact position she found herself.

 

Lexa was on the back foot, she plain and simply needed a higher paying, consistent job during the summer and although it didn’t pay as much as she would have liked; a camp counselor at Camp Jaha was a sure thing and a steady pay check for the time she was there. She also knew she would be saving money just by being there; seeing as all meals and accommodations were included within the job but also giving her an extension of the change of scenery she had so desperately needed. She hadn’t been back in Colorado where she had grown up for quite some time, her parents might have been there but she found no other reason to go back so she simply didn’t. It wasn’t that Lexa didn’t like the state where she grew up, it wasn’t as if she had anything against the people that lived there; she just always needed to find her own footing and needed to separate herself from who she was growing up as a child from who she was at that very moment.

 

Lexa ran a rough hand through her hair, sweeping it to one side; looking to her sleeping friend beside her who was snoring quietly and a small smile pulled at her lips as the other girl muttered scattered words in her slumber. Anya was her best friend; she was the person she told everything to and the person she knew she could always rely on no matter what. She had met Anya the day she moved out to California after securing a place to live in a small block of decent apartments, both girls clicking instantly as they bonded over many mutual likes and dislikes. She had somehow convinced Anya to come with her to Camp Jaha, her older friend was a struggling actress who hadn’t run into much luck over the past few months and Lexa knew she could get Anya a job so she took the opportunity to talk her into going along so she didn’t have to face the daunting prospect of being back there alone.

 

She knew she was the only one to blame for her issue with money at that current time. Although she was not being supported by her parents, she had worked hard enough to have a decent amount of savings behind her that she recently burnt after only having just returned from a year-long backpacking trip around Europe; the reason she was yet to graduate from medical school. She had gone to Europe on a whim, needing an instant change after going through an extremely messy break up with a woman named Costia; who had ripped her heart right from her chest while it was still beating. She needed a change of scene to get over the woman she thought she would spend the rest of her life with; they had been together ever since Lexa had moved to California after she graduated high school after being accepted into UCLA. She had decided to defer her study for a year; spending her time traveling and basically living by the skin of her teeth but she felt as if she had grown a significant amount from the experience even though it had drained her bank account completely.

 

She should have now graduated from medical school and she should have already started her almost minimum wage earning job as an intern at the UCLA children’s hospital, an internship that she had fought hard to obtain; knowing that she was going to work twice as hard as she had already been doing in order to earn that position once more. Lexa knew she had sacrificed a lot, she may have cost herself too much to recover from on her own but she couldn’t regret her time in Europe; it was what she needed at the time because she didn’t know if she could have survived without it. It wasn’t lost upon her though that she was now 25 years old; she was in her last year of medical school, having nothing to her name and having built her life around a woman who had just torn everything down in a single moment.

 

“Anya wake up” Lexa said looking towards her friend who had her mouth still agape as she slept, her arms resting limply in her lap “Anya”

 

“What?” She mumbled with her eyes still closed before waving the other girl off “I’m not going”

 

“Yes you are, we’re already here so you might as well wake up” Lexa said with a shake of her head, opening the car door as the fresh air hit her lungs “We are going to get this over with”

 

“Why did I agree to this?” Anya asked sleepily “I mean I don’t even like kids”

 

“Because we need money” Lexa answered simply, reaching over to shake her friend’s shoulder lightly “Until you actually get a good paying job, we both need the money”

 

“Okay” Anya groaned, cracking an eye to look at her surroundings before she opened them both widely “Oh god”

 

“What?” The younger girl looked around as if to try and follow her friend’s line of sight

 

“This is more rustic than I pictured” Anya admitted with a nod, visibly swallowing a lump in her throat as she realized just how far from civilization they were “…But I’m sure it’s nice”

 

“This is just the path down to the camp area” Lexa said with a grin as she stood from the car, stretching her arms high into the sky and letting the warm morning sun hit her face. Although she probably wouldn’t admit it, she did like actual camp grounds; she liked the familiarity about it but also just loved being outdoors. “Come on, get out so we can get our bags and go”

 

“You said you didn’t like this place” Anya said as she stood from the car slowly, groaning as she stretched her legs out

 

“I like the actual location; I just never liked the people here”

 

“There has to be someone you liked, you can’t have hated _everyone_ ” Anya responded with a cocked eyebrow “ _Someone_ had to be nice to you here”

 

“Lexa?” They both heard a voice speak from the path, their heads quickly turning and Lexa recognized the person whom it belonged to immediately

 

“Clarke” Lexa said with a confused expression, when she thought about it momentarily she figured she probably shouldn’t have been confused seeing as her family had inherited the camp many years ago but Lexa hadn’t really expected to see the younger girl “Hi”

 

“Hey” The blonde said with a wide smile, running a quick hand through her wavy hair “I haven’t seen you for a very long time”

 

“I know” Lexa said simply with a nod

 

“You must be Anya” Clarke turned to Lexa’s friend with a nod and a polite smile “Welcome to Camp Jaha”

 

“Thanks” Anya said with a slightly tilted head due to her own confusion as she looked between the pair

 

“Stay right here, I’ll go get someone else to help with your bags” Clarke nodded as her gaze lingered on Lexa momentarily before tucking her hands into her pockets tightly “I’ll take you to your cabin too and we’ll get you settled before orientation”

 

“Sure” Lexa responded, holding Clarke’s gaze and feeling as if she couldn’t look away for some reason until the other girl turned on her heel to walk away

 

Anya immediately approached Lexa, clasping her hand tightly on her friend’s shoulder and squeezing it lightly as her confused expression held on her face.

 

“Clarke?” Anya asked with a shake of her head “I’m guessing she’s the one person who was nice to you”

 

“I never had a problem with her” Lexa responded with a shake of her own head “And yes, she was always nice to me but she had to be. Her parents own the place and she always had to be on her best behavior”

 

“So if she was nice to you, why weren’t you friends?”

 

“I wasn’t friends with anyone here” Lexa shrugged quickly, brushing her friend’s hand from her shoulder quickly “She was nice but we weren’t friends, I kept my distance from everyone including her”

 

“So your reclusive habits started when you were young, makes sense” Anya said sarcastically with a smirk as she took a step away from her friend to move towards the car “Help me get my bags so we can get out of this parking lot                                                                                                                                     

 

Clarke returned only minutes later with a young man called Finn who was about the same age as herself, the blonde being a year younger by memory so Lexa just assumed he was around the same age as them too. He helped with Anya’s bags, Lexa being too stubborn to receive help from anyone as they trekked down the rocky pathway into the heart of camp surrounded by an awkward silence. Clarke showed them where they would be staying; it was the cabin that happened to be just across from hers and would be taken to orientation after getting changed. Lexa changed much quicker than Anya, finding shorts and a shirt at the top of her bag knowing they would be provided with a camp shirt almost immediately and anything else but shorts would be impractical. She sat on the single stair that lead up to the cabin, her knees tucked to her chest as her arms encircled her legs whilst she took in her surroundings.

 

The camp was smaller than she remembered, it was still quite large but it was also the fact that Lexa was a bit younger the last time she came into Camp Jaha; noting that it would have been normal for things to look smaller for her at that moment. The trees seemed a little shorter, the cabins a little cozier and the seemingly endless paths were a little less intimidating; leading Lexa to believe that maybe she had spent many years building up the negative reputation of the place to the point where it was now only because she herself was just smaller back then. The brunette couldn’t help but wonder if her opinions of the camp could have been different if she hadn’t experienced so much bullying when she was younger; wishing she had learnt to stand up for herself a little earlier in life because maybe if she had, she could have actually enjoyed herself.

 

“You all ready to go?” She heard Clarke speak cautiously from a short distance away, clearly not wanting to startle her

 

Lexa’s eyes diverted from her surroundings to meet the blue eyes she was once almost familiar with. A small smile tugged at her lips as she saw Clarke standing in front of her in a baggy, extremely over-sized Camp Jaha shirt and her hands once again tucked deeply into the side pockets of her shorts.

 

“Just waiting on Anya” Lexa answered quietly with a nod, her smile growing subtly as she spoke “Is that how the shirt is worn these days?”

 

“It’s more like a dress right now” Clarke grinned as she looked down at her shirt, removing her hand from her pocket to tug at her shirt awkwardly “We needed smaller sizes for other people so I was told to take a huge one and kind of just deal with it for now. Our orders for this year came in short so I just have to deal with this until the rest arrive”

 

“So you went from attending the camp to running it, huh?” The brunette questioned quietly as Clarke took a few steps towards Lexa, waiting a moment before taking a seat next to her on the stoop of the cabin

 

“I could say the exact same for you” Clarke responded with a shrug before pausing momentarily as she crinkled her eyebrows in a look that almost reflected disappointment “You kind of just disappeared one year”

 

“Well I stopped coming to camp, that’s all” Lexa replied evenly with a shrug of her own as she curiously looked at the blonde “I didn’t want to disappear but it kind of happens when you don’t attend the place anymore, I really didn’t think anyone would notice”

 

“I just mean that I was so used to having you here, it was weird when you weren’t. You were one of the only people I had grown up with here every summer” Clarke explained further as she leaned forward slightly “Our cabin’s soccer and swimming reputations definitely went downhill after you left, we certainly didn’t win as much”

 

“Not surprised” Lexa joked quietly and awkwardly, suddenly finding much interest in her shoelaces  

 

“I don’t blame you for not coming back though” Clarke admitted with a nod, sympathy soaking her tone “I mean the kids here weren’t the nicest all the time”

 

“No they weren’t” Lexa agreed with a quiet sigh “But that’s kind of just kids for you sometimes”

 

“I guess so” Clarke responded, turning her body to face the brunette completely “But I always tried to talk to you”

 

“I know you did, you were always nice” Lexa responded as she glanced at the girl beside her and mentally chastising herself for instantly being taken aback by the blonde. She couldn’t help but notice how having the complete and utter attention of the other girl made her sit up straight or how she couldn’t think about anything past the conversation they were having at that moment because of that

 

“Okay, I’m ready to orientate” Anya announced sarcastically as she pushed the cabin door open roughly and paused “Oh”

 

“Ready?’ Clarke asked as she looked back towards the other girl who had just made a scene leaving the cabin, Lexa shutting her eyes for a moment as if feeling released from the sudden gravitation Clarke presented to her

 

“So ready” Anya responded with a polite smile and a nod before looking to her friend “I didn’t know you were talking with anyone sorry”

 

“Just catching up” Clarke explained as she stood slowly from the stoop, looking down to Lexa once more with a smile “Which we have a lot more to do of by the sounds of it”

 

“I guess you’re right” Lexa agreed as she watched the blonde carefully, standing herself from the step and turning to her friend who had a cocked eyebrow

 

Lexa subtly waved her off as Anya walked towards her, giving her younger friend a small nudge as they followed Clarke silently to the mess hall where they would have orientation for the morning. The brunette swallowed thickly as she looked around the mess hall after they had taken their seats, remembering all the time she had spent in that single hall throughout the years. The mess hall was filled with people of whom she had mostly never seen before but some she did recognize as camp counselors when she was there as a kid. Clarke took her seat at the front next to the boy who had helped them with their bags earlier, Lexa eyeing him curiously for longer than she had meant to; making a mental note to stop staring at everyone she had come across that morning. She fiddled with the name badge she had collected on the way in, feeling déjà vu all too clearly at the welcoming process into the camp.

 

She felt a nudge to her ribs and looked to Anya beside her whose grin had only grown, her eyebrow raised as she eyed her friend curiously.

 

“Is this why you wanted to come back?” Anya leaned further towards her friend, pushing her shoulder into Lexa’s quickly as she gestured to the blonde a few rows ahead “Clarke?”

 

“No” Lexa said with wide eyes and a quick shake of her head “Honest to god I had no idea she would be here let alone remember who I was and I haven’t seen her since  my sophomore year”

 

“But you hung out with her while you were here, right?” Anya pushed lightly, her voice hushed under the loud sounds of chatter within the room

 

“Well I don’t know if you would call it hanging out but we were in the same activity groups every year” Lexa shrugged as she watched Abby Griffin take walk up to the small stage with a smile on her face as all conversation halted “We’ll talk later”

 

“Okay so I see we have a lot of new faces and some old faces too” Abby started with a grin, her hands clasped in front of her as she looked around the group in front of her “Welcome to Camp Jaha, named after my dear friend Thelonious Jaha’s family whom we took over this place from not too long ago. As some of you might know we’ll spend the next four days getting to know each other and the camp grounds themselves until the kids arrive over the weekend. For those of you who have never been here before; we’re really big here on trying to get the kids to participate in activities as much as possible so everyone feels a part of the Camp Jaha family. As we have discussed with you through the applications process; we’ll assign you a duty for the Summer based on your qualifications and preferences but we all help out here around camp. We have a definite idea of what we want everyone doing but we’re open to suggestions if you have any other ideas. We’ll be doing a few activities over the next few days as team building type exercises and if you have any questions along the way; just come see myself or my daughter who will be taking over the role of head counselor for the summer”

 

The pause in conversation lead to a small round of applause for Clarke who sat up the front with her hand over her eyes in embarrassment as Finn placed his hand on her shoulder gently as he laughed quietly. Lexa found her attentions focused on Clarke once more without her even noticing until she had been spotted by the blonde who had turned around to look around the room quickly. She averted her eyes almost instantly as Clarke met her gaze, ducking her head and focusing her attention on her laces once more. She glanced back over once she knew Clarke had looked away again, catching the remnants a smile on Clarke’s face as she turned to face the front again.

 

“So what we’re going to do in a minute is pair up with someone who has never been here before with someone who has been a counselor or staff member previously. For those of you who have never been here, you’ll be shown the grounds, taken through any processes we might have and that’s a great time to start asking questions if you have any” Abby said with a smile “All of us veterans have been assigned to our partners already so we’ll go ahead and start finding our partners and getting to know everyone”

 

The front few rows of experienced staff members stood, Lexa watched cautiously as Clarke began to slowly approach the brunette; as if not wanting to move quickly as if she were afraid of scaring her. She pushed herself further back into her plastic chair, feeling the weight of the blonde’s gaze on her and once again being unable to pull herself away from it. She noticed in her peripherals that Finn followed Clarke closely but looking to Anya with a small smile as the pair stopped in front of Lexa and her friend.

 

“Well believe it or not I happened to pick you earlier” Clarke said with an uneven smile as she shrugged quickly “Which I thought was pretty cool”

 

“And I got Anya” Finn said politely, flashing his charming smile

 

Lexa already knew that there was something going on between Clarke and Finn, it didn’t take a genius to figure that out and she already had that strange feeling of jealousy in the depths of her stomach that she didn’t understand whatsoever; hoping to bury it deep enough that it wouldn’t resurface until she knew why it was there. Lexa smiled politely as she stood from her chair to stand next to Clarke who was waiting patiently with a grin still playing on her face.

 

“So are we doing this as a pair thing or a group thing?” Anya asked looking from Finn to Clarke “Because I’m kind of confused”

 

“Pair” Clarke responded quickly before Finn could say a word “That’s kind of tradition but I’m sure we’ll bump into each other along the way”

 

“Well let’s go then” Lexa said with a nod, looking awkwardly between Anya who was once again eyeing her off and Clarke

 

“Good idea” Clarke said with a smile that made Lexa want to see more of it, swallowing thickly as she tried to figure out where all these thoughts were coming from suddenly

 

Lexa followed Clarke out onto the camp grounds soundlessly, glancing back to Anya who was watching her closely as they exited the mess hall. A lot of memories of camp, wanted or not came back to her as she began walking through the grounds silently. Lexa was nervous, which was highly unusual for her because generally she wasn’t a nervous person; she was old enough to be self confident to a point that got her by but everything about that camp made her feel as if she was back in her extremely awkward phase.

 

“So we’ll get you a shirt and then we can just walk around, nothing major has changed since you were here so we’re in no hurry” Clarke said with a small shrug before looking down to her own shirt “Don’t worry, you won’t get one that’s the same size mine”

 

“You’re pulling off the shirt dress thing you have going on there pretty well so I wouldn’t be too worried” Lexa joked anxiously, resisting every urge to slap her palm against her forehead for her lame reply “So head counselor, huh?”

 

“Yeah, believe me it wasn’t something that I aspired to be right now but mom needed someone to do it and after some convincing I took it; extra money and extra experience. Plus with the guilt trip she put on me, I don’t know if I really had a choice in the end” Clarke responded as they continued their slow walk, kicking a small rock from her path casually “So what brings you back to Camp Jaha anyway? Death threats, blackmail, witness protection? There's no way you're here by your own choice”

 

“Oh you don’t want to know specifics; it’s just a long and dramatic story”

 

“Why wouldn’t I want to know?” Clarke asked raising an eyebrow, nudging the other girl immediately “I mean they are the best kinds of stories and we have heaps of time”

 

“You don’t want to hear it” Lexa responded with a shake of her head “It’s probably just really sad on my part”

 

“What if I go first?” Clarke suggested encouragingly “I’ll tell you what I have been doing since I saw you last and then you can tell me your long dramatic story”

 

“Yeah okay” Lexa agreed with reluctance “I’m not completely sure how fair that is but I’ll agree”

 

“Well now that you’ve agreed, mine is a really easy one; I graduated high school, got into college in Texas where I started my degree in psychology. I’ve kind of wanted a change of scenery as of late though so I’m transferring to UCLA next semester for my second year of my masters because their program is better anyway and I’m just trying to get as much money as I can before I move out there after we finish here” Clarke explained as they arrived at a small familiar cabin, holding the door open for Lexa who reluctantly moved past the blonde to enter the room that was lined with different camp shirts “What, did you think I was leading you in here to kill you?”

 

“I’ve always hated this cabin” Lexa said with a shudder as she looked around the small room recalling the countless campfire stories told about that very room “You know the stories that were told about this cabin”

 

“They were all made up, Lexa” Clarke chuckled quietly to herself as she approached the table to pick out a shirt and hold it out patiently for Lexa to take “It’s not haunted and no one died in here, the senior kids were always just trying to freak us out but clearly it worked on you”

 

“Clearly it did” Lexa responded as her expression changed to a small, uneven smile; her eyes drifting to the table of different colored shirts that were stacked neatly “I don’t get a choice in what color I pick?”

 

“Nope, you’re picking the same color as me because these are being used to divide up the activity groups for the week and I’d like you on my team if that’s okay with you”

 

“Why?” Lexa asked curiously, looking down at the shirt in the blonde’s hand that she still patiently held out for her to take

 

“Well you’re my best chance at winning and beating Finn” Clarke joked as she took a step closer towards Lexa, the shirt now directly in front of the brunette’s hand as her expression changed to one of sincerity “And I want to get to know the new Lexa, I liked the old Lexa but I want the chance to get to know the new one too”

 

“No one here liked the old Lexa” The brunette shook her head with knitted eyebrows “I don’t even think I did”

 

“I liked her, she was always nice to me” Clarke responded instantly, the intensity in her gaze causing Lexa to swallow thickly before reaching out to finally take the shirt still hanging from the blonde’s hand “I liked her a lot”

 

“Okay” Lexa nodded, breaking their eye contact reluctantly as she looked around the cabin once more “It seems a lot smaller than what I remembered”

 

“Everything probably seems a lot smaller now” Clarke reasoned as she took a step backwards towards the door “So should we get this tour started?”

 

“Lead the way” Lexa responded without needing to be asked twice; hurrying out of the cabin, unable to leave the room quickly enough and throwing her camp shirt over her shoulder

 

“Why don’t you lead the way, see what you remember?” Clarke suggested, pulling the door closed quietly as she strolled ahead a few paces in front of Lexa “Could be a good memory clearing exercise”

 

“Oh believe me; I tried to numb this place out from my mind a long time ago but it didn’t work”

 

“I don’t blame you but you have to remember the camp grounds, you were here every year’ Clarke replied casually with a small shrug “And you owe me a long and dramatic story”

 

“It’s really not that interesting” Lexa shook her head quickly as she looked at the beginnings of the different pathways “I know where I want to go”

 

“Lead the way” Clarke responded with a nod as the girls started on their trail slowly, Lexa silently contemplating what exactly she was going to tell the younger girl without making  herself sound sad or pathetic “You don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want but I totally did just tell you my story”

 

“Your story was nice though” Lexa shook her head quickly with a confused expression “ But I’m the one who landed myself in this position”

 

“You sound like you’re incarcerated” Clarke laughed quietly, glancing at the brunette whom she was following “Which I guess it probably could feel like”

 

“Well I left this place and I graduated from High School, I left Colorado as soon as I could. I wanted to be on my own and see if I could do it by myself. I just wanted to get away from here” Lexa mumbled softly “I don’t know; I just never really found my place here so I applied for college in California and got into UCLA. Honestly this is the first time I have been back to Colorado for a long time and I never really expected to come back here, I don’t even really come back to visit my parents”

 

“You go to UCLA too?” Clarke raised her eyebrows “Small world”

 

“I’m at the medical school now, but yeah” Lexa scratched the back of her neck awkwardly as they took a right turn down the seemingly endless dirt paths as the brunette switched over to autopilot “I guess we could be seeing more of each other after camp, huh?”

 

“Only if you wanted to” Clarke offered honestly

 

“I wouldn’t mind seeing you around campus” Lexa replied almost too honestly for her own comfort “Anyway, I moved to California pretty quickly and that’s where I met Anya. She actually lives in the apartment next to mine, we didn’t start off so great but we really clicked after actually talking a few times”

 

“Is Anya at UCLA too?”

 

“No, she’s an actress actually, like everyone else in California but she’s really good; she just needs someone to give her a break” Lexa replied, a small smile pulling at her lips as she looked ahead at the path they were taking “I forgot how well I knew this place”

 

“I told you” Clarke said with a smirk as she gently bumped her shoulder against the brunette’s “Your story is hardly dramatic though”

 

“Well when I got to California I met a woman called Costia and there’s the start of the drama” Lexa sighed quietly, pausing as they turned another corner to be looking directly Lake Jaha, the place where Lexa found herself more often than not when she was at camp “This is better than I remembered”

 

“I’m not surprised you came this way” Clarke spoke honestly as she looked to the brunette “We used to always find you here, even when you weren’t supposed to be here”

 

“It was always too far for anyone to bother coming to and I knew that” Lexa shrugged “I know we are supposed to be looking around but would you mind if we went and sat down by the water for a little?”

 

“Of course” Clarke smiled kindly as she nodded before they approached the newly rebuilt boardwalk “They’ve done a few upgrades to it since you have been here but it’s still the same lake; just now you don’t have the chance of getting your foot stuck or falling through”

 

“Yeah that was a problem” Lexa responded as she tried to prevent a small chuckle from escaping her lips but failed miserably “It’s just strange that after all of these years everything else looks so much smaller except for this”

 

“It was huge in the first place” Clarke shrugged, the smile still lingering on her lips as she followed Lexa’s lead as the brunette sat down on the edge of the boardwalk with their legs dangling over the edge “And you keep stalling your story, you got to Costia and stopped”

 

“Costia pretty much had me straight away; I was kind of just taken with everything she was at the start. We were together for a long time, she moved in with me and things were pretty great; we had our problems like anyone else but for the most part things were great. I guess I was stupid but I thought we’d be together until we were grey and old, obviously though Costia didn’t feel the same” Lexa mumbled as she looked down at her feet as her shoes skimmed the surface of the water absently “Obviously I was stupid to think that”

 

“What happened?” Clarke asked reluctantly as she kept her eyes locked on the brunette

 

“Well I came home from class early and I found her in bed with one of our good friends. She didn’t really even bother to try and make an excuse or try to justify what I had seen so she just told me that she was unhappy and would be moving out” Lexa replied with a small shrug “Things weren’t that clean, it got pretty messy towards the end when she started dating the guy she was in bed with. She became really nasty, really cold towards me and really petty; foolishly I just let her get away with it because I thought I still loved her. It was pretty hard to see them around campus together, I saw her around a lot because I knew her schedule. Anyway I decided that I wasn’t going to let her put me through that so I decided to gather what money I had, defer my study and I’ve just come back from a year travelling around Europe”

 

“Wow” Clarke gawked with raised eyebrows “That was pretty brave of you to just pick up and go”

 

“I had to do something and it was the most amazing year of my life but I came back and realized that I really needed money” Lexa turned her attention to the girl sitting next to her “And being a lifeguard at small water parks doesn’t pay as much as it does here so that’s how I ended up back at camp”

 

“That’s pretty rough” Clarke nodded, bringing a hand to run through her hair “But I still think it took a lot of guts to do what you did”

 

“My parents thought I was stupid or irresponsible because I’m in my last year of medical school and I should have been taking up an internship at the children’s hospital this year instead but I needed to do something. I mean I don’t disagree with them, I’m 25 and I’m here for the summer when I should have started my career as a pediatrician” Lexa responded with a shake of her head “I haven’t heard from Costia in a year and I’m assuming she has graduated like I was supposed to”

 

“A pediatrician?” Clarke cocked an eyebrow “Wow, you must be super smart”

 

“I’m intelligent enough” Lexa replied modestly, her voice quietening as she spoke again “So that’s my dramatic story”

 

“It was pretty dramatic, you were right but you’re kind of my hero right now for having the guts to do that so far into your studies” Clarke admitted enthusiastically “I have always wanted to go to Europe”

 

“You should, it’s incredible” The brunette encouraged quietly “I just figured after a year I had to stop running and plus I was severely low on cash”

 

“A good reason to come back” Clarke joked, not going unnoticed by Lexa how the blonde leaned towards her ever so slightly so their shoulders brushed “I think you’ve just talked to me more in the past few minutes than you ever have before”

 

“I talked to you” Lexa rolled her eyes with an even expression “You were probably the one person I talked to; I may not have talked lots but I said a few things to you”

 

“So if Anya isn’t in college, why is she here?” Clarke questioned curiously as her smile evened out “She seems great but she doesn’t seem like a summer camp kind of person”

 

“She’s not really but she’s a great friend and agreed to come with me” Lexa responded before pausing “That and because she needs the money too”

 

“Of course” Clarke chuckled

 

“So how long have you and Finn been together for?” The brunette asked bravely, swallowing thickly as she waited for the response she knew she would get; unsure as to why she cared so much since she had only just reconnected with the blonde “If you don’t mind me asking that is”

 

“How do you know we are together?” Clarke asked with a cocked eyebrow

 

“Because I have eyes” Lexa shrugged

 

“Two years now, I’ve known him since my senior year but we didn’t start dating until then”

 

“Oh cool” Lexa nodded, internally chastising herself for not being able to muster up a little more enthusiasm about the blonde’s admissions

 

“Yeah he’s a good guy” Clarke responded with a nod of her own “He’s trying to transfer to UCLA as well but it hasn’t really worked out yet”

 

“Well hopefully it works out then” Lexa replied with a half smile before letting out a sigh, trying to change the subject quickly “Should we keep moving?”

 

“It’s your tour” Clarke shrugged with a small smile of her own before pushing herself up to her feet to stand at the edge of the lake “But probably, you will be spending enough time here as a lifeguard for the next eight weeks”

 

“I’m going to be assigned lifeguard duty?” Lexa asked as she stood too, catching the blonde glancing at her lips momentarily and suddenly feeling extremely aware of how close they were standing together

 

“Well you’re the only qualified person here to do so” Clarke replied as she grabbed Lexa’s wrist gently and began pulling her away from the lake “You’ll be perfect for the job and you kind of have to be because you’re that decision has already been made”

 

“What’s Anya going to be doing?”

 

“I had her in kitchen duty but maybe this year we can actually offer a small drama program” Clarke spoke her train of thought aloud “You two are quite handy to have around”

 

“That’s going to go straight to her head” Lexa smirked as Clarke kept hold of her wrist gently

 

“That’s okay, as long as she teaches the kids and who knows; maybe she will enjoy herself” Clarke grinned, glancing sideways momentarily “Maybe even more shockingly, you might enjoy yourself”

 

“I wouldn’t set your hopes up too high for that to happen, goals are supposed to be achievable” Lexa countered but unable to stop her smirk from turning into a smile as she looked at the other girl, trying to shake herself from the moment knowing that Clarke had a boyfriend and he was at the very same camp. She knew it would be the first of many times she would have to tell herself that; Clarke was even more than what Lexa remembered and someone she hadn’t really expected to come across again “That’s asking a bit too much”

 

“I’m not sure it is though, you’re smiling after all” Clarke joked harmlessly as she let go of Lexa’s wrist after giving it a gentle squeeze “You’re going to change your mind about this place now that you are back; I’m going to make sure of that”

 

“It was never you or the actual camp that made me not come back; it was just a majority of the kids” Lexa reasoned quickly, placing her fingers over her wrist that Clarke had just been holding; unable to figure out why she was so drawn to the blonde “And it might take a little more than that to undo the memories I have of this place”

 

“Yeah okay but I’m going to make sure you come away with good memories this time” Clarke nudged the older girl once more “This is going to be a good Summer, Lexa. You’ll see and you’ll agree with me before you leave”

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! 
> 
> Sorry for the delay in posting, I have had the busiest week but thank you for the love on the first chapter. I appreciate anyone who takes the time to tell me whatever in that comment box!

 

Lexa sat on her single bed with her back against the wall and her knees pulled up into her chest, her arms wrapped tightly around her shins as she sighed quietly into the relative silence. She glanced over to her still sleeping friend, wondering how she could sleep comfortably in the bunks they had been assigned to when she herself struggled to fall asleep at all. The brunette realised that it was most likely because she was anxious; being her first night back in Camp Jaha she expected to be a little restless but she thought she would manage more rest than what she actually got. Her mind continued to cycle through the previous day’s events, continuously looping as soon as she reached her interactions with Clarke Griffin; wondering how the blonde had caught her attention so swiftly. She ran a rough hand through her loose hair, sighing once more and she shook her head quickly as she caught herself once again thinking about her conversation with Clarke by the lake.

 

She looked down to her watch, looking on as the seconds hand ticked towards the twelve; knowing once it did Anya would have the rude awakening of the camp song signalling it was time to get up. Lexa glanced out the window, catching a glimpse of Clarke as she left her cabin; heading for what Lexa assumed to be the mess hall. Her overly long camp shirt still hanging down on the middle of her thighs, her hair tied into a loose high bun but she carried a small smile on her face that tugged at the corners of her mouth. She flinched quickly in surprise as the camp song played loudly through the old speakers positioned throughout the camp; she had known it was coming but allowed herself to become distracted as she watched the blonde disappear from her sight.

 

“You didn’t tell me there was a camp song” Anya groaned as she pulled the pillow over her head, pushing it tightly against her ears “No wonder you hated this place”

 

“It’s not that bad” Lexa chuckled as she looked to her friend who lifted the pillow from her head to gaze questionably at the younger girl who quickly moved to correct herself “I mean the song isn’t that bad”

 

“The song is terrible” Anya said with a muffled voice as she pushed the pillow to cover herself once more “Does this happen every morning?”

 

“Every morning at seven sharp, it sure does” Lexa responded with a smirk “You’ll get used to it”

 

“So what, they play the song and then what?” Anya asked pulling the covers over her head “Everyone has to stand outside and all march somewhere together?”

 

“Well that means we have to get up and get to the mess hall for breakfast” Lexa replied as she looked outside the window once more “So you need to get up and get dressed”

 

“I just need a few more minutes” Anya grumbled as her body stayed completely still “I don’t think I am built for summer camp, I don’t know why I agreed to come”

 

“We have had this discussion multiple times, we’re both broke” Lexa responded quickly as she stood from her bunk, tugging on the edge of the covers over Anya’s body before sighing loudly “Are you actually going to come or are you going to stay in here?”

 

“I’m not moving yet, I need to wake up” Anya grumbled as she gently kicked away Lexa’s hand “I need coffee too”

 

“They will have coffee at breakfast; I can guarantee it will be awful but they will have coffee” Lexa replied with a quiet chuckle “I’m going right now so if you don’t come with, I’m not waiting”

 

“You go, I will meet you in there” Anya replied gruffly, Lexa sighed quietly before taking a few quiet foot steps towards the cabin door “Did you like her when you were here too?”

 

“Did I like who?” Lexa asked, turning sharply to see her friend peering through a gap she had made in her sheets

 

“The only person you seem willing to talk to here” Anya mumbled “You know who I am talking about”

 

“We’ve been here for a day, Anya. I have talked to people but Clarke was always nice to me, I told you yesterday that she was always nice to me” Lexa explained vaguely “We were still in school when I saw her last so no, I didn’t like her back then if that’s what you’re meaning”

 

"You two were pretty late coming back from that tour”

 

“We were catching up” Lexa shrugged as she opened the cabin door, inhaling the fresh air instantly “I’ll be up at the mess hall” 

 

“See you soon” Anya muttered, her tone more than grumpy as Lexa glanced back and watched her friend throw the covers over her face once more

 

The brunette laughed quietly to herself as she began her short walk to the mess hall, kicking away a few sticks from the dirt path as she went. Lexa arrived in the hall to find that most of the councillors had already arrived, judging by the numbers she figured that there were only a few missing and noticing straight away that her seating options were extremely limited. A cold shiver shook her body to the core as she felt as if she was in a moment of déjà vu; remembering what it was like every morning to arrive at the mess hall a little too late only to have to take her meals back into her cabin. Of course eating in cabins was completely forbidden but mercifully the camp instructors always turned a blind eye to the fact that she was breaking the rules; if nothing else to give themselves some peace first thing in the morning.

 

“I don’t know if you’ve forgotten how a mess hall works but you’re supposed to eat in here, not stare at everyone” She heard a voice from beside her, turning her head to see a smiling Abby Griffin beside her with a cup of steaming black coffee in her hands “You obviously remembered how to get in here okay”   

 

“Like riding a bike” Lexa said awkwardly as she tried to curve her lips up into a smile but failed miserably

 

“I have to admit, I was pretty surprised to see your application come across my desk” Abby nodded, taking a quick sip of the coffee before grimacing “I should be used to that so I don’t know why I’m surprised when it’s so bad”

 

“Yeah I know, I was pretty surprised to have actually submitted my application too but I needed a summer job” Lexa responded a little more bluntly than she would have liked but was unable to filter herself so early in the morning after her thoughts had kept her up so late through the night “What I meant was…”

 

“Exactly what you said and that’s okay, I mean I had to practically beg Clarke to come back this year” Abby shrugged with a small smile, glancing to the girl beside her before turning her attention back out to the mess hall “I don’t blame you at all, I actually admire you for coming back here”

 

“Well it’s not like the kids that were here can really tease or hurt me anymore” Lexa responded with a shake of her head “I have nothing to be scared of and I’m somewhat of an adult now”

 

“No but sometimes memories are worse than the actual occurrence; sometimes it’s much worse to be haunted by something than to actually be going through it” Abby said in an almost inaudible tone compared to the countless conversations echoing through the hall “I’m glad you came back, I’d like you to actually have some good memories of this place”

 

“Yeah” Lexa responded as she exhaled deeply, trying to fathom the words and understanding that Abby Griffin had just spoken to her “Thanks”

 

“And just so you know, we tried to help and we tried to make it easier for you” Abby spoke earnestly, turning her complete attention to the brunette medical student “I never wanted you to hate coming here every summer like I know you did”

 

“I know you tried, I saw you all trying” Lexa said quietly with a small nod before she cleared her throat, her attention suddenly becoming very focused on the floor beneath her “It’s fine, I’m a big girl now and I know it was only teasing”

 

“Yeah but words can hurt much more than people will admit” Abby acknowledged, taking another sip of her coffee and grimacing at the taste; triggering a genuine smile on Lexa’s face “Enough of me talking though, go help yourself to some food; happy to say also that our food has dramatically improved but you can be the judge of that”

 

“I’ll let you know” Lexa nodded was her lips stayed curved in a small smile, moving quickly to take her place in the small queue for breakfast

 

She grabbed a worn, red tray and cutlery like old clockwork; remembering that she would probably need an extra set for Anya as they tended to run low as the breakfast service went on. She moved down the line slowly, picking out the multiple options that were offered up to them; already acknowledging that the food looked better than the last time she was there. Once she had picked the food she wanted she turned around quickly to see the councillors all happily talking to one another; some already finished their meals but most still eating and spreading out to take most of the free spots on the tables.

 

“Lexa” She heard her name called from the voice that had filled her mind throughout the night, turning her body sharply to see Clarke standing from the edge of a rectangular table, a few free spots left whilst the rest of the area was occupied with people that looked around her own age “Come on”

 

Lexa nodded wordlessly as she approached the table, placing her tray down carefully and taking a seat next to Clarke who had a wide but tired smile on her face.

 

“Where’s Anya?” She asked curiously, quickly looking around the mess hall to try and locate her missing friend before turning back to Lexa with a cocked eyebrow

 

“She decided she didn’t want to get up yet” Lexa chuckled more to herself than anything else, unrolling her cutlery from the paper napkin they were being kept in “Though she had some judgements on the camp song that I had to agree with”

 

“I think everyone agrees with it but it’s tradition” Clarke shrugged casually “How did you sleep?”

 

“Horribly” Lexa laughed once again, shaking her head to meet eyes with the blonde “But I didn’t expect anything else”

 

“Then you have a good memory” Clarke gave Lexa a very small and playful nudge before gesturing to her tray of food “But they have made huge improvements in the food category at the very least”

 

“Yeah your mom told me”

 

“I saw her talking to you over there, hopefully she wasn’t too intense” Clarke offered cautiously, leaning forward at her spot on the table next to the brunette “She just loves this place so she can be a little intense”

 

“Your mom is awesome” Lexa responded, glancing down the table to see faces of people who were obviously Clarke’s friends; their expressions etched with curiosity as they watched the two interact

 

“I should probably introduce you to my friends” Clarke said as she offered them a sheepish smile, noticing the smirks on the faces of the people sitting beside her; starting the introductions at the other end of the table “Lexa this is Raven, Octavia, Lincoln, Bellamy, Jasper and of course you know Finn but he’s out setting up the activity for this morning”

 

“Nice to meet you all” Lexa responded with a polite smile as she looked down to the food in front of her

 

“You should eat that before it gets cold” Clarke replied with a small smile, giving the brunette another gentle nudge “Should we save some food for Anya?”

 

“There looks to be plenty there and I don’t think she’ll be much longer” Lexa answered quickly “She just has to get used to the routine so if she misses out on food then she misses out on food”

 

“That’s a little harsh on her considering it’s day two” Clarke mused with a shake of her head “She’s probably not usually up this early”

 

“No, she usually works nights” Lexa explained with a nod “She had a waitressing job but she only just quit because her boss was a bit of a chauvinist pig”

 

“Sounds pleasant” Clarke frowned and shook her head again “Well if she doesn’t come soon then we’ll save her some food. Again, you should actually eat”

 

“Clarke let the woman eat then instead of questioning her” Raven suggested with more than just a hint of a smirk on her face as she threw a scrunched up napkin at the blonde “You’re clearly in the same activity group so you can question Lexa about her friend’s eating habits later”

 

“Shut up” Clarke responded with grin, returning the napkin directly back to her friend

 

\---

 

Lexa found herself sitting in the back row of chairs in the mess hall as the activity groups began to break up into their different factions, the groups being split up by shirt colour as Clarke had noted the previous day. Her group was staying in the mess hall for some ice breaker games so the councillors could get to know each other whilst the other groups broke up to their respective assigned areas where they would all come together for further activities.

 

They had sat through a morning of briefing; camp rules and guidelines taken by Abby tried to make it fun but everyone knew you can only have so much fun whilst being taken through multiple briefings. The councillors had outlined goals that they wanted to meet for the summer, what they wanted for the kids and how they were going to provide a safe and caring environment for their campers. Lexa had sat in the back quietly with Anya, not because she didn’t think she had anything to contribute but because she wasn’t sure she had found her place within the large group of mostly older people.

 

 She found herself watching Clarke more than anything who was writing down everything on a whiteboard, having to shake her gaze from the blonde a few times to reprimand herself and reminding her brain that Clarke had a boyfriend. Not only did Clarke have a boyfriend but he was there at the camp with her and they lived together in Texas. Lexa was an extremely observant person though and it was never lost on her when Clarke would lean away from Finn’s touch or when she would choose to sit next to someone else rather than him. She had only seen them interact for a day but she didn’t really need much longer to figure out that maybe they weren’t in such a great place or maybe Clarke didn’t feel as much for Finn as he did for her.

 

Like many times before she felt herself being tugged from her thoughts by a smiling face beside her and a warmth spread throughout her body as she felt the contact of the blonde against her side as Clarke sat impossibly close next to Lexa.

 

“Hi there” Lexa greeted with a curious expression as she watched the girl beside her fold her arms loosely and lean back in her plastic chair “Good whiteboard writing by the way”

 

“Thanks” Clarke nodded with a wide smile as she turned her head to look at the brunette “You know you probably would have had the most to contribute to that session, right?”

 

“Why would I have had the most?” Lexa shook her head with furrowed eyebrows “My words wouldn’t hold any more weight than anyone else’s”

 

“You’ve been here before and unfortunately you kind of know what we needed to improve on for the campers sake” Clarke shrugged, her knee shifting to barely touch Lexa’s casually

 

Lexa sighed to herself with another shake of her head, remembering that Clarke had always been someone who had been comfortable with other people; but she never remembered feeling like she did in that moment when it had happened previously. Granted the recently reunited girls were a lot older than what they had been when they last saw each other and Lexa had no intention of going to the camp to see Clarke but she couldn’t deny she was quickly discovering she was quickly gaining a strong attraction to the blonde.

 

“Yeah but that probably makes me the worst person to comment if I only have negatives to say” Lexa waved off the blonde calmly, swallowing thickly as she glanced over at the door to see Anya backing out of the mess hall, a concerned expression on her face as she disappeared from the medical student’s line of sight “So I kind of hate ice breakers, they are super awkward”

 

“So do I” Clarke nodded with a small sigh, reaching up to rub her forehead quickly “But I mean these ones should be okay. Later will be pretty fun too, I definitely picked you to be on my team for a reason”

 

“Glad to hear I’ll be of use” Lexa joked sarcastically as the rest of their group joined them on the seats surrounding the two in the mess hall, a large gentleman taking his place at the front of the group of fifteen camp councillors only seconds later

 

“For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Gustus. I’ll be leading the blue group today while we run through a few ice breaker activities before we head out to do some more team building type activities” He said with a nod as he looked around at the group as jingled a bunch of coins in his hand gently “Some of these might be a little bit uncomfortable to start off with, you might feel a little stupid but we’re going to be working together for the summer so why not get to know each other starting right now”

 

Gustus began handing single pennies throughout the group, each person getting one as he instructed them to move their chairs into a circle; making Lexa awkwardly aware that she was going to have to speak with everyone’s complete attention which normally didn’t bother her too much but the unsureness of the situation made her feel a little more exposed than she would have liked. She flipped the coin between her fingers as she waited for instruction whilst everyone moved their chairs to sit in a circle, Clarke moving next to the brunette once more.

 

“I want you to take note of what year your penny was made because you’re going to be telling us something significant that happened to you in that year. We’re going to go around the circle say your name and tell the story associated with our coin, whether we have been to Camp Jaha, if so how long you have been here for and if it’s not sensitive information; your age” Gustus explained with a wide smile as he looked down at his penny before holding it up in front of him “I’m Gustus, my coin is from the year 1999; the year I got married to my wife and bought my first house. I’ve been at Camp Jaha now for 4 years and I’m 35”

 

Lexa glanced down at her coin, knowing straight away that it was fairly new just because of the condition of the coin itself; not being surprised when she saw the year 2007 on her own. It didn’t take her long to figure out what she was going to say as she waited for it to be her turn, listening carefully as the attention of the group moved closer towards her until it was her turn.

 

“Uh my name is Lexa, my coin is from 2007 which is the year I moved away from Colorado to California in order to start my medical degree. I haven’t been here before as an instructor but I went here as a camper from my first year of elementary school until I was a sophomore in high school and I’m currently 25” Lexa said in more of a shaky tone than she would have liked, looking to Clarke whose eyes were glued to the coin sitting evenly in the palm of her own hand

 

“Clarke?” Gustus asked from the centre of the group, his voice seemingly brining Clarke back to earth because she cleared her throat thickly before leaning forward in her chair, resting her elbows on her knees before exhaling quietly

 

“Well my coin is from 2013, which is the year that my dad died. I’ve been at this place my whole life and I’m 23” Clarke muttered quietly as her eyes stayed focussed on the coin in front of her, Lexa flinched as the younger girl spoke; feeling a sharp intake of breath hit her lungs at the admission.

 

She had certainly noticed that Jake Griffin hadn’t been around since she had arrived at camp but she had no idea that Clarke had lost her father; a man whom she herself had spent a large amount of time with when she was younger. Lexa always felt alone at Camp Jaha but the Griffins would always go out of their way to make her feel as if she belonged, Jake Griffin being the one who would always let her sit by the lake whenever the relentless teasing became too much for her. More importantly, Lexa also knew just how much Jake meant to Clarke, she remembered the absolute adoration the blonde constantly displayed for her father and she could safely assume that their relationship could only improve as she had gotten older.

 

 Gustus quickly hurried the activity along after Clarke’s turn, the blonde unmoving from her position as she crinkled her eyebrows in thought. She excused herself from any further activities for the day after the first one, including when all of the groups met back up by the afternoon to compete in a few competitive games, leaving Lexa to make other friends in her group; pushing her to interact with people more than she would have if Clarke had been around. Her thoughts remained on the blonde throughout the day though, unable to shake the broken look on her face as she spoke of her father during the penny exercise and the sound of her voice as she pushed through her sentence; making it very clear to Lexa that the wound was still very raw for the younger girl.

 

After dinner the councillors were dismissed for the night so Lexa and Anya decided to head back to their cabins, Lexa sat on her bed reading whilst Anya scrolled through her phone; complaining every so often of the weak signal that was hindering her social media checking. She had gotten through the day with no issues, making friends swiftly and conversing with others at dinner like they had known each other for years. Anya was always better at mixing with people than Lexa was, Anya tended to be Lexa’s safety net when it came to social occasions; she was an aspiring actress after all so she knew how to blend in with people even when the task was difficult.

 

“Did you have to do that penny activity?” Lexa asked curiously as she set her book down on her chest, looking over to her best friend who had a wide grin on her face as she typed away on her phone

 

“Where we had a penny and had to tell a story from that year?” Anya asked, her attention still focussed on the screen as a quiet chuckle escaped her mouth “If you know what I am talking about then yes”

 

“What year did you get?” Lexa asked curiously

 

“I got 2000, I actually used the opportunity to kind of plug my acting career which of course is going to get me nowhere but I had to try” Anya responded as she finally looked away from her phone, pausing as she saw the concerned expression on Lexa’s face “Are you okay?”

 

“When we did ours Clarke got a penny with the year 2013 on it” Lexa began quietly, blinking quickly as she shook her head

 

“That was a bad year for all” Anya added jokingly to try and bring a look of amusement to her younger friend’s face

 

“Clarke’s dad died that year, a guy who I had grown up around during my summers” Lexa replied quietly, feeling her stomach churn thinking about it “Aside from that, they were always a really close family from what I remember; which is really evident considering Clarke spent the rest of the day on her own”

 

“Wow, that’s horrible” Anya frowned, shaking her own head slowly “What a year to get, huh?”

 

“Yeah, I just felt so bad for her, I had no idea” Lexa continued “I mean the look on her face…”

 

“I guess the fact that I hadn’t seen him yet makes sense now” Anya pondered aloud as a soft knock on the door echoed through the cabin, both girls looking at each other before Lexa stood from her bed with her book still in her hands to address whoever had been knocking on the door

 

“Hey, Clarke isn’t in here is she?” She paused as she blinked wordlessly at Clarke’s friend Raven who stood in front of her with a hand on her hip and crinkled eyebrows

 

“You don’t know where she is?” Lexa questioned curiously as she peered behind Raven’s shoulder to see Finn and Octavia standing at the edge of the cabin

 

“She left the mess hall pretty quickly after dinner and Finn can’t find her so I thought she might be in here” Raven explained with a shrug “Any ideas where she might be?”

 

“You all know her better than I do, your guess is as good as mine” The medical student replied with a cocked eyebrow, turning to throw her book back on her bed; watching it bounce as it hit the solid mattress “To that point, your guess would be better than mine”

 

“I just thought I would check” Raven said taking a step towards her other two friends “If she comes by can you just tell her to go and find one of us? We just wanted to know if she’s okay, Gustus told us what happened in the ice breaker”

 

“Yeah, I had no idea” Lexa replied quietly was a nod “He was a really good guy”

 

“Clarke meant a lot to her dad and he meant a lot to her so it’s still pretty fresh” Raven explained carefully “Especially when she is here”

 

“Well if I think of anything, I’ll come and find you” Lexa offered with a helpless expression

 

“I’m positive she’s fine but we kind of just want to make sure” Octavia said from behind Raven as she placed a hand on Finn’s elbow, his eyes focussed on the ground as he clenched his jaw with a worried expression etched on his face

 

“Goodnight guys” Raven nodded as she reached her other two friends as they talked quietly amongst themselves whilst walking away

 

“Is that a little worrying to you that they thought she might be with you?” Anya asked quietly, sitting on the edge of her bed with her hands resting in her lap “How well did you know each other when you were younger? Honestly?”

 

“Clarke was the only kid here who was nice to me” Lexa repeated with a shrug “We hung out but she had a lot of other friends here too”

 

“You know that she has a boyfriend, right?” Anya asked carefully with a quiet sigh, being unusually careful with the words she chose “And I know you wouldn’t do anything…”

 

“Why are you saying that?” Lexa asked with a shake of her head and a furrowed eyebrow

 

“I just kind of get a feeling from you that there might be something there or there could be” Anya answered cautiously, raising her hands up in front of her defensively “And I mean I get it, she seems awesome but I just want you to be careful”

 

“We’ve only been here for almost 2 days, Anya” Lexa retorted sharply, her own defences rising “Are you serious?”

 

“All I’m saying to you right now is be careful. Obviously you have only been here for two days and I know you’re aware that she’s taken but I’m just wanting you to be careful; for your own sake if not for anyone else” Anya tried to explain quickly whilst she still had the younger girls attention “I can just see it’s possible for something to develop with you, she is just that type of girl for you”

 

“So because I’m gay I like anything with long hair and a set of boobs?”

 

“Don’t pull that card on me; you know that I practically shower in rainbows because that’s how supportive I am. What I’m saying is that Clarke is someone who is exactly your type, which is the complete opposite personality type to Costia and I don’t want to see you pining over someone you can’t have. It’s just the little things, the body language that I have seen from you already that I haven’t seen from you before” Anya spoke sharply, her eyebrows bunched together “I just want you to be happy, I don’t want to see you hurting again”

 

“I’m not going to get hurt” Lexa responded with a shake of her head “I haven’t seen her in ten years, she has a boyfriend and I don’t even know whether she would even be with a girl. Besides all of that, I need to focus on actually finishing medical school so I can actually get my life back on track”

 

“I just want you to be careful” Anya repeated, folding her arms tightly to her chest

 

“You have nothing to worry about. I’m going to go brush my teeth” Lexa grumbled, grabbing her toothbrush from the top of her bag before exiting her shared cabin

 

Lexa’s eyes were blazing, she had to admit that Clarke was stirring something inside her that she hadn’t felt since Costia but it had only been two days. Lexa didn’t give away her heart that easily, she definitely didn’t consider herself someone who would make a play for anyone in a relationship and she might have known Clarke when they were younger but she was still getting to know the grown up version of the blonde. She couldn’t deny that she wanted to get to know the younger girl more, that was obvious but she was very aware Finn was around and although she wasn’t completely sold on their relationship; she wouldn’t be the cause of anything that made Clarke second guess her situation.

 

She shook her head quickly, trying to shake her thoughts from her mind as she began walking towards the showers. Lexa slowed as she walked directly across from Clarke’s cabin, looking through the darkness surrounding her to see whether she could spot the girl somewhere nearby. She wasn’t all that worried about Clarke, if anyone knew their way around camp; it was her and it just wasn’t possible for her to get lost. The only reason Clarke hadn’t been found yet was because she didn’t want to be found and Lexa completely understood that; she had spent so many hours hiding within the same camp grounds because she didn’t want to be found.

 

The brunette paused, tapping her toothbrush against her thigh as she remembered an incident many years ago when Abby and Jake couldn’t locate Clarke; sending everyone into a camp-wide panic. She vaguely remembered it had been after news of Clarke’s grandpa passing and they had found her sitting on the top of a deck on the high ropes course near the lake; leading Jake Griffin himself to climb to the deck where he stayed with her an hour before they both came down. She battled internally within herself knowing that Clarke would want to be left alone but also knowing that Clarke could probably do with some company, even if she didn’t think that was what she wanted. She didn’t want the blonde to be alone, she wasn’t even sure if Clarke would be there and it would be a long walk there for nothing if the other girl wasn’t there but Lexa figured she could take that chance. Clarke had always been someone who came looking for Lexa whenever she wanted to hide so the brunette figured she needed to at the very least just make sure the head councillor was okay.

 

Lexa glanced back at her cabin, considering whether she should tell Anya what her plan was but instead she placed her toothbrush in the back pocket of her denim shorts and began heading towards the lake in the darkness. Thankfully it was a full moon, it was as bright as it was going to get at night so she wasn’t walking with complete blindness but she knew how uneven the ground got the closer she was to the lake so she would have to go slow.

 

After what felt like hours but in reality wasn’t even close, she arrived at the high ropes course; looking up to that same deck they had found the blonde the last year she had been at camp to spot Clarke Griffin sitting with her back to the large wooden post and her feet hanging off the edge freely. The moonlight only bringing her enough light to see her silhouette but even from the ground she could spot the girl’s shoulder’s shaking slightly, seeing a hand being raised to wipe her cheek roughly.

 

“Clarke?” Lexa asked, her voice feigning unsureness though she knew exactly who it was

 

She didn’t get a response straight away, she wasn’t expecting one either. Clarke would have been startled to hear someone call her name; she would have been even more startled to know that someone had found her. She heard a series of quiet sniffles before she saw the silhouette of Clarke’s face appear over the edge of the deck

 

“Lexa?” She rasped quietly through the dark “How did you know I was here?”

 

“I didn’t” Lexa responded quickly “I just remembered you being here one day when no one could find you and I know I would always go to the same place when I wanted to disappear for a little while”

 

“Is everyone looking for me?” Clarke asked cautiously

 

“Your friends are, they said they aren’t worried but they just want to know if you’re okay” Lexa’s eyes adjusting to the darkness as she looked up at the blonde, craning her neck so she could look directly at the younger girl “I thought I would see if you were here or not just to see if you’re okay”

 

“So you came all the way from your cabin on the chance I could have been out here?” She asked after a short pause

 

“I know my way around” Lexa joked weakly, grabbing the back of her neck awkwardly as it began to ache from the angle it was positioned in “So now that I know you’re here, are you okay?”

 

“Not really” Clarke responded quickly “Are you going to tell them I’m here?”

 

“I said I would” Lexa replied quietly with a sigh “Are you ready to come back yet?”

 

“I don’t think so” Clarke answered, pausing once more as Clarke’s face disappeared from sight over the deck “Do you want to come up?”

 

“Do I want to come up there?” Lexa raised her eyebrows quickly, just the thought of the high ropes course freaked her out let alone climbing the ladder without a harness “I don’t know if I _want_ to come up there”

 

“You can’t still be afraid of heights, can you?” Clarke asked jokingly, her voice rasping heavily as she spoke

 

“I don’t know how you’re not afraid of heights” Lexa countered quickly

 

“Honestly I could use the company of someone who will just sit with me and won’t force me to talk”

 

“Kind of my specialty” Lexa responded honestly before locking her gaze on the ladder on the large wooden pole, cursing herself for even attempting what she was about to but knowing she was going to try anyway

 

Her heart rate increased instantly as she moved towards the ladder in the darkness, placing a shaky hand on the first rung on the ladder before pulling herself up to place her leg on the ladder; starting her ascension to the deck. She clenched her jaw as she climbed, thanking the darkness silently for disguising the height she had reached once she had finally made her way to the deck; shuffling herself to sit next to Clarke with her back firmly against the post. Their shoulders touching, Lexa feeling the warmth from Clarke’s body almost immediately as they sat next to each other on the small deck; the brunette not willing to budge away from the centre of the wooden deck even though she had become acutely aware of how close they were seated.

 

“I can be a lifeguard from up here, right?” Lexa asked, her hand gripping tightly at the side of the ladder next to her “Because I have no idea how I am going to get down from here”

 

“Honestly I’m surprised you even got up here” Clarke replied, a hint of amusement in her tone “But it’s better if you look up rather than down”

 

“So why up here?” Lexa swallowed thickly, her eyes glancing up towards the sky and pausing as she took Clarke’s advice to look up. She had forgotten how brightly the stars could shine out at Camp Jaha, almost distracting her from the height she was at but her rapid heartbeat spoiled any chance of being able to enjoy the view “Why not somewhere a lot closer to the ground?”

 

“Because I didn’t think anyone would think to look for me up here and I always come here whenever I need to think away from everyone” Clarke replied with a shrug, her focus turning towards the girl beside her and a small smile tugging on her lips as she watched the absolute look of panic etched on her face “You didn’t need to come up here”

 

“I know” Lexa replied quickly, her eyes squeezing tightly only momentarily before she opened them so she could look at the slightly amused blonde “I’m really sorry about your dad, I had no idea”

 

“Thank you” Clarke nodded as smile on her face stuck but her emotion expressed through her eyes only conveyed sadness “It just gets a little much being here without him, it’s only the second camp without him so it’s still pretty fresh”

 

“Of course it would be” Lexa agreed quietly, exhaling deeply as she let her head rest up against the post behind her

 

“You know my dad always really liked you, he would have been happy to see you back”

 

“Well I always really liked you dad” Lexa responded, glancing sideways once more at the blonde; seeing her attention had turned to the sky above her and she couldn’t help but pause. It was cliché, she also knew shouldn’t have let her mind wander there but she wasn’t sure if she had ever seen such a beautiful sight in the moonlight as she did watching Clarke look up at the sky unassumingly, the light reflecting softly against her; only highlighting her blue eyes further “You know he was actually the first person I came out to?”

 

“He was?” Clarke furrowed her eyebrows as her turned her head to lock eyes with Lexa, holding her gaze as she dipped her head slightly

 

“Yeah and I don’t really know how it happened but it was my last year here. I hadn’t told anyone and even though everyone teased the hell out of me for it, I hadn’t really admitted it to myself. I was out by the lake actually one day and your dad came down to find me for dinner. He told me that I didn’t need to come back up and he was willing to call my parents to see if they would come pick me up but if I did then the other kids would win. He said that they had nothing to tease me about because I wasn’t different to anyone else and teasing usually comes from a place of insecurity, which has always stuck with me” Lexa admitted as her eyes darted between both of Clarke’s, feeling a lump forming in her throat “It was kind of the first time everything clicked and I actually just lost it in front of him”

 

“I didn’t know that” Clarke’s voice stuck at a tone just above a whisper

 

“Yeah, he kind of just sat with me and let me bawl my eyes out for a little while until I calmed myself down” Lexa replied with a sad smile “I would have liked to have seen him again, I mean I guess he’s one of the reasons I’m okay with who I am today”

 

“Thank you for telling me that” Clarke nodded, sighing loudly as she turned her head away to look out at the darkness in front of them once more; moving her head to rest on Lexa’s shoulder. The movement startled Lexa momentarily, letting the other girl sink against her seemed like second nature though after a few seconds “I’m sorry they all teased you about that”

 

“Doesn’t matter now” Lexa responded with a shrug “It’s just a shame that it made me hate this place when I really like I could have loved it”

 

“Well that’s what this summer is for” Clarke responded, her voice firming “Closure and new beginnings”

 

“I know you have your friends here but if you do want to talk about your dad to me, you can” Lexa offered quietly, giving into her temptation and resting her head atop of Clarke’s with a sigh “Otherwise we can just sit there”

 

“He died really suddenly, it was a hit and run while he was out riding his bike” Clarke’s voice waivered through the relative silence of the night “I will never forget the moment when my mom called to tell me, I was out at dinner with Raven and Octavia actually. I answered the phone and she just started crying, I had no idea what was going on until she muttered that my dad was dead and I needed to come home”

 

“I can’t even imagine what it would have been like” Lexa mumbled with a shake of her head as she squeezed her eyes closed tightly, mostly to avoid remembering just how high up she was sitting and how much she would panic if she could see her surroundings

 

“It actually took me a while to react to the phone call when I hung up. I was in complete shock and it wasn’t until I actually told Raven and Octavia that I started crying” Clarke responded weakly, a sniffle following her words “Can we just sit here now for a while?”

 

“We can but we should probably get back soon. Your friends will start to panic if you don’t go back soon”

 

“I know” Clarke responded quietly “Just a few minutes”

 

Lexa and Clarke spent the next ten minutes sitting in silence as they sat on the deck of the high ropes course. The brunette’s heart rate didn’t slow for a second in between the fact that she was up so high on a thin plank and she was as close to the blonde as she was. Clarke was clearly comfortable around Lexa even though they were now relative strangers; it kind of blew her away as to how she could connect so quickly with someone that she hadn’t seen in years.

 

Anya’s words echoed through Lexa’s mind, she could feel that there was some kind of tension between them, that was pretty evident but she wasn’t sure what kind of level that tension was going to grow to between each other. She just had a idea that her resolve and will power was going to be tested with the blonde, hoping she wasn’t going to develop any kind of feelings for the girl next to her; but unsure whether she was going to be able to stop herself if they did begin to develop. Lexa knew she would be playing a dangerous game, she knew that if she decided to allow herself that indulgence she would be the one who got hurt because Clarke was with Finn and that was just how things had to be.

 

“We should probably go” Clarke spoke, breaking the silence as she sighed loudly “I don’t want Mom sending out a search party for me because I’m probably about thirty minutes away from that happening”

 

“Yeah, good idea” The corner of Lexa’s lips curving into a smile, tapping her head against the post a few times “Or I might just stay up here for the rest of camp”

 

“You might get pretty hungry up here” Clarke responded jokingly, clearing any lumps from her throat quietly “You just have to get back down the same way you came up”

 

“Oh god” Lexa responded as she pressed her hands into her thighs, her stomach churning at the idea of having to hang her body off the edge of the deck to reach the ladder “I’m going to fall off the deck at Camp Jaha, how ironic”

 

“I don’t remember you being this much of a drama queen” Clarke joked, nudging the other girl lightly who flinched instantly “Sorry”

 

“I actually don’t know how I’m going to get down, Clarke” Lexa confessed seriously

 

“Why did you come up here if you were so freaked out?” Clarke asked seriously, placing her hand over Lexa’s briefly to try and calm the older girl

 

“Well you asked me to” Lexa shrugged “I didn’t really think about it too much”

 

“Okay well what if I go down first and I can get your feet on the ladder?” Clarke suggested quickly and calmly

 

“Can you get to the ladder?”

 

“I can climb over you if you’re okay with that” Clarke replied with a nod “But just so you know, you probably won’t ever live this down with me if I have to help you down”

 

“I can live with that because I will be safely on the ground” Lexa responded instantly

 

“Okay” Clarke chuckled, clearly amused by the situation they were now facing “Okay so I’m just going to have to move over you, when I move I need you to move too”

 

“Yep” Lexa swallowed thickly, nodding furiously

 

Without another word Clarke turned her body to face Lexa’s, carefully she moved her leg over the brunette to be straddling her waist on the wooden deck. In that moment Lexa had forgotten where they were as their eyes locked, both now very aware of the position their bodies were in and how awkward it should have been between them; but for some reason it wasn’t. Lexa heard Clarke’s breath hitch instantly as she realized just how close their faces were, the brunette could practically feel Clarke’s warm breath on her face and could see every glance towards her lips the blonde allowed herself. Lexa awkwardly placed her hands on Clarke’s hips, shuffling herself away from Clarke so the blonde could move towards the ladder and after a few last glances; she finally turned her body once more to reach her legs down to touch the first rung of the ladder.

 

“See, easy” Clarke responded simply, Lexa hearing the breathlessness in her voice “Your turn”

 

“I think I’m going to have to set up camp here” Lexa shook her head, repeatedly trying to swallow the lump in her throat as her eyes plunged shut tightly once more

 

“Come on” She felt Clarke’s hand grip her ankle gently, lightly pulling it towards the ladder “I’ll guide your leg and you’ll be fine. You won’t fall”

 

“If you say so” Lexa expelled a deep breath before moving her body to place her first foot into the ladder rung while Clarke slowly moved down below her

 

She placed her hands atop her head once she reached the bottom, her legs shaking and her heart pounding as she took a few shaky strides away from Clarke once she had her feet planted on solid ground. The brunette rubbed her eyes heavily, sighing loudly before looking at Clarke who stood in front of her with her arms folded loosely and a smile on her face.

 

“Thank you for that” Lexa nodded as her chest continued to rise and fall rapidly

 

“Thank you” Clarke responded honestly “Let’s get back, huh?”

 

“Just promise me that if you go off somewhere next time you won’t go somewhere so high” Lexa joked as they slowly began to walk back towards camp, shaking out her tingling arms at her sides

 

“I’ll do my best” Clarke answered with a chuckle

 

The walk back with Clarke seemed a lot shorter than it did on her way to the high ropes course when she was alone. She knew it had everything to do with what had just happened on the deck of the high ropes; she wasn’t sure what they had both felt when their faces were so close and their eyes met. Lexa didn’t believe in moments like that, she didn’t really believe in connections like that but she had felt something in that moment and was sure the other girl did too; she just wasn’t sure what to make of it.

 

When they reached the cabin’s Lexa felt a sense of disappointment overwhelm her, something that she would chastise herself over for the rest of her night when she saw Finn sitting at the front of Clarke’s cabin. He stood with a worried expression, his lips forming into a smile as he noticed the blonde looking happier than what she had when she left the mess hall and taking large strides to engulf the other girl into a tight hug.

 

“Are you okay?” He mumbled as he placed a firm kiss on the top of her head, Lexa looking down at her feet as she took a few steps towards her cabin so she could leave the two in private

 

“I’m fine” Lexa heard Clarke respond quietly, shaking from Finn’s arms subtly before she turned to the brunette as she backed away to her own cabin “Thank you”

 

“You’re welcome” Lexa offered sincerely with a nod, glancing to Finn who was also watching her; giving her a thankful nod as their eyes met “Goodnight”

 

With a sharp inhale she turned on her heel to take quick steps towards her cabin, opening the door and closing it as soon as she entered; pressing her forehead to the wooden door after locking it.

 

“I feel like I need to check your teeth just to see if you actually went to clean them but we both know you didn’t” She heard Anya say quickly “Did you find her at least?”

 

“Yeah” Lexa furrowed her brows as she turned to face Anya, her hands pressing into the door behind her “And I didn’t leave to go find her, I just remembered where she might have been”

 

“That was kind of stupid, you know that right?” Anya responded as she sat up in her bed once more, placing her phone in front of her “But something you would do because you’re too noble for your own good”

 

“I don’t think me trying to find her had anything to do with nobility” Lexa answered with a shake of her head “I couldn’t leave her alone out there if I knew where she was, she would always come and find me”

 

“And you’re sure there’s nothing there?”

 

“Yes” Lexa said as she lied through her teeth, blinking steadily “Nothing there”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?
> 
> I will try and update mid-week!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in posting! I know I am usually quicker than this but this week has been out of control. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy the 3rd chapter though and thank you for the comments! I really appreciate every one of them.

Twenty-Four hours.

 

One single day was the only thing that separated her from the moment that the kids arrived at camp and things started to get extremely busy. Lexa was mentally prepared for the absolute madness that drop-off day would bring, trying to explain to Anya that things would go from zero to one hundred in an instant but she wasn’t sure whether Anya comprehended the sight that would be presented to her on the first day. The orientation week had gone quicker than Lexa had expected, after the medical student had accepted that she was there for the summer and she might as well make the most of it, things seemed to smooth out inside her anxiety filled mind.

 

Clarke had been spending a lot of time with Lexa ever since the brunette had found her up on the high ropes course; they were in the same activity group so they were always going to be together during the days but whenever they had some free time they could always be found not too far from each other. Lexa was trying to be extremely cautious around Clarke, she knew that Anya was going to be watching her and she didn’t want to admit that her friend might have been right; she also didn’t want to cause any trouble between her and Finn. Lexa wanted to keep her head down for the summer; she wanted to do her job, get paid and leave so she had enough money to get her through beginning of semester and she didn’t want any drama. She especially didn’t want to be the cause of drama but when she was spending time with Clarke, she hardly thought about anyone else; her mind would never wander far because the younger girl always managed to capture her complete attention.

 

“Earth to Lexa” She heard Anya’s voice pulling her back to her current location, standing in the middle of a small cabin that would double as the drama/arts room the struggling actor would be running over the next 8 weeks “I need you to lift the table and bring it over to me so I can put equipment instead of you just standing there”

 

“Sorry” Lexa answered sheepishly, clearing her head with a quick shake before grimacing as she picked up the heavy table by herself and slowly making her way towards Anya “You could help me carry it, you know that right?”

 

“Yeah but I need to see how the whole room looks” Anya responded when Lexa placed the table in front of her with a thud “I keep you around for heavy lifting anyway”

 

“You’d be surprised how many times you’ve said that to me over the past 8 years” Lexa replied with a small smile, shaking the numbness from her hands “And I’m not moving that again so it’s going to have to be fine there”

 

“Yeah, it’s great there” Anya responded as she shifted to the other side of the room, her hand on her hip as she looked at the small cabin before turning towards the bench and picking up a number of empty jars filled with old paintbrushes "This room is coming together"

 

“What are you going to do with those? You can’t paint” Lexa chuckled to herself, her amusement growing as she watched her friend placing jars on the table “I can paint better than you and that’s saying something”

 

“We’ll just paint props” Anya shrugged with a cocked eyebrow “It’s not going to be that difficult convincing a group of rich kids to paint props for a play they’ll be staring in at the end of camp. I actually think that this will be pretty fun, it’s a better job than I thought I was going to get”

 

“Well you were going to be on kitchen duty, which would have been disastrous until I told Clarke you were an actress”

 

“Oh so you told Clarke and she just changed her mind?” Anya asked curiously, walking over to the other empty jars on the other side of the room “Just because you told her?”

 

“I told her and she understood that you’d be of better use somewhere else, somewhere that you actually had talent” Lexa responded quickly, leaning back to sit on the corner of the table she had just set down “Don’t start with me, okay?”

 

“How are you going to spend the next eight weeks with her and pretend to not feel anything?” Anya countered swiftly and continuing before Lexa could get a word in "And don't tell me that you don't feel anything because that's crap"

 

“You need to drop this” Lexa warned quietly, bringing her hand to squeeze the bridge of her nose “We’re only just getting to know each other again. Can we just drop this?”

 

“What are you going to do when her friends start noticing the obvious flirting between you two? What are you going to do when her _boyfriend_ starts noticing?” Anya pressed seriously, approaching the other girl at the table “Because if they haven’t noticed already, it won’t take long”

 

“Okay well my time here helping you is done, I have to go set up the lake anyway” Lexa responded gruffly, pushing herself from the table and quickly walking towards the door “I’ll see you at lunch”

 

“You can’t always walk away from these conversations” Anya chimed loudly as Lexa exited the door, lifting her hand to wave but not looking back

 

“Yes I can” Lexa called back with a shake of her head as she stepped off the small cabin stoop, her shoes crunching loudly on the rocks below

 

She made her way back to the mess hall where a number of counselors were busy setting the area up to accommodate the large number of campers they were expecting just that next day. She paused looking around the room, her eyes searching for the blonde woman she had just been talking about with Anya; not because she just wanted to see her but because she legitimately needed the other girl for camp purposes. Lexa needed to get into the equipment cabin by the lake and Clarke would be one of the two people to hold a key in their possession; the other person being Abby who was busy at a nearby off-site camp meeting. Lexa placed her hands on her hips with a shallow exhale, her head turning to look around the busy room; stopping as she saw Octavia and Lincoln moving chairs.

 

“Have you guys seen Clarke?” Lexa asked as she approached the couple who paused momentarily to exchange a unsure glance “What?”

 

“Nothing” Octavia said with a quick shake of her head “What did you need Clarke for?”

 

“I need to get into the equipment cabin so I can set up the lake” Lexa responded simply, looking to Lincoln who was watching her carefully “Unless Abby is back and I can get a key from her?”

 

“No, Abby’s still out” Octavia answered instantly “Finn got some news so I think they went to her cabin to talk”

 

“Oh” Lexa’s eyebrows shot up instantly in surprise, her stomach dropping more than she would have liked to admit even to herself “Is everything okay?”

 

“Yeah, I don’t think it was anything serious” Octavia said dismissively “But I don’t think she would mind if you got the key from her either”

 

“Okay” The medical student said with a confused tone, taking a step backwards from the two “Well I guess I will go to her cabin then” 

 

“Can I ask you something?” Octavia asked quickly before Lexa had the chance to turn around “And this obviously stays between us but do you and Clarke have something going on? I’m not saying that she’s cheated on Finn or anything but I just wanted to ask you yourself before things go any further”

 

“No” Lexa furrowed her eyebrows and lifted her chin slightly as she spoke “Why would you ask me that?”

 

“I’m sorry, I just had to” Octavia said raising her hands in front of her defensively “I’m not really meaning anything by it but it’s no secret that she and Finn have been on a rocky road for some time now”

 

“That has nothing to do with me” Lexa snapped coolly

 

“I didn’t say that it did” Octavia offered peacefully “She just told me how you came to find her the other night and I just wanted to ask”

 

“I’m going to find Clarke and get that key” Lexa took a step backwards as she looked between the pair “And I don’t blame you for asking me that but I wouldn’t interfere in someone’s relationship like that”

 

“I wasn’t saying you would” Octavia responded with a nod of understanding

 

Lexa left the mess hall as quickly as she had arrived; her levels of irritability had only risen at the conversation with Octavia. She was unsure where the question came from, knowing that she hadn’t done a single thing to warrant someone asking whether she had something secretive going on with Clarke but also curious as to why her friends would be so open about it rather than being defensive. Her mind was running rapidly as she walked briskly towards Clarke’s cabin, raising her hand to knock on the door when she heard voices inside the room.

 

“We’ll work it out” She heard Clarke’s concerned voice call breaking the silence, frustration deeply etched into her tone “We always do”

 

“Do you want to work it out though?” Finn responded quickly “Can you honestly tell me that you want to work it out?”

 

“Of course I do” Clarke responded

 

“Because I’m not too sure that you do” Finn snapped angrily “I think we need to consider this before we go any further and you need to decide what you want”

 

“I know what I want” Clarke protested, her tone now growing in anger as well as frustration “I told you what I wanted”

 

“But you couldn’t look me in the eyes when you did” Finn responded “I want to see if we have any chance of figuring this out but I’m not so sure you want the same”

 

“That’s not what this is about and you know it”

 

Lexa knocked on the door loudly, surprising herself that she actually did so but was unwilling to listen any more to the argument that was happening behind that door. The voices halted immediately, heavy footsteps approaching before she found Finn standing in front of her with a hardened expression but he offered her an even smile as his eyes met her own.

 

“Hey Lexa” He said with a small nod and a hushed tone “You need Clarke?”

 

“I just need a key” Lexa muttered as her eyes moved to an irritated Clarke who stood behind Finn with her arms folded tightly to her chest and her jaw clenched “For the lake equipment”

 

“I have to go set up the last activity today anyway” Finn said as he glanced back towards Clarke quickly “We’ll talk later”

 

“Oh I just need the key” Lexa shook her head, her voice panicked “I don’t need you to come with, I just need the key”

 

“I have to, it’s the master key and I can’t give it out” Clarke said with a small sigh as Finn brushed past Lexa hurriedly, leaving the brunette looking inside the cabin at the younger girl who didn’t move from her position

 

Clarke’s cheeks were red with anger, her body language was rigid and her facial expression was fierce but Lexa wasn’t afraid of anything she saw in front of her; if anything she had to tell herself to settle down as she found the irritation slightly attractive. She swallowed thickly, glancing behind her to see Finn storming off up the path, unable to push another word out of her throat when she locked eyes with the blonde again.

 

“So you need my key?” Clarke asked quietly, seeing a change in her expression almost instantly as she took a step towards Lexa

 

“Yeah, just the key” Lexa muttered as she watched the blonde stop directly in front of her, taking a step backwards and finding her feet on the edge of the stoop “I just need to get myself set up”

 

“Need any help?” Clarke offered with a nod, glancing down to her feet quickly as the anger behind her eyes continued to drain slowly

 

“Um I mean it would be nice to have some help but you probably have a lot to do”

 

“I was going to help Finn with the next activity but I don’t think he’ll want my help now” Clarke responded as she exited her cabin, closing the door behind her and tugging on Lexa’s elbow, pulling her towards the direction of the path before letting her go as they walked slowly “So you probably heard us arguing, huh?”

 

“I probably should lie and say no but I did” Lexa admitted seriously with a shrug “I mean it’s no big deal, I didn’t hear anything major and people argue all the time”

 

“You shouldn’t have to lie about anything” Clarke muttered quietly, a statement that Lexa figured she was saying more to herself than she was actually saying in conversation “What I mean is it’s okay to say that you heard us if you did”

 

“Well are you okay?” Lexa asked after a few moments of awkward silence passed between the two girls, for the first time feeling a stiffness between herself and the blonde since they had been in camp together

 

“Finn didn’t get a transfer to UCLA, he just found out that it was unsuccessful” Clarke admitted honestly “So now we’re trying to decide what we’re going to do”

 

“What, you’re considering not going to UCLA because he didn’t get a transfer?” Lexa questioned skeptically “Just like that?”

 

“No, not just like that” Clarke answered shaking her head, running a rough hand through her loose blonde hair “It just means we have a bit more to consider now”

 

“I mean I guess so” Lexa replied, her eyebrows crinkling and doubt etched on her face “It’s none of my business”

 

“Yet for some reason I still feel like I need your opinion”

 

“Clarke my opinion really shouldn’t matter to you; we were practically strangers before last week”

 

“Okay well we weren’t strangers” Clarke responded almost instantly, reaching down to jingle the keys in her pockets distractedly “But I understand that you don’t want to talk about my relationship problems”

 

“Thank you” Lexa nodded, unwilling to make any further comment about the situation she had found herself in front of

 

“So what are we doing with your lake?” Clarke asked with a small smile, glancing up at the brunette who couldn’t help but smile looking at the younger girl

 

“It’s not my lake” Lexa responded with a cocked eyebrow

 

“Well it is for the summer” Clarke grinned with a shrug

 

“I guess so” Lexa reluctantly agreed, awkwardly rubbing her arm lightly “So are you excited for the campers to arrive tomorrow? Starting your role as head counselor?”

 

“Well it will definitely keep me busy” Clarke shrugged, her tone even “Honestly I never really saw myself coming back here this year but my mom needed the help”

 

“You’ll be great at it” Lexa responded, her voice as reassuring as she could muster “I actually think Anya is starting to get excited, which is something I didn’t expect”

 

“She seems to be getting there” Clarke replied with a quiet laugh “I mean I would hope she is because she will be dealing with a bunch of kids tomorrow who are way too hyperactive and probably won’t really listen to her for a few days”

 

“I keep telling her that tomorrow is going to be absolute chaos for everyone” Lexa agreed with a nod, feeling a warm breeze against her skin as they edged closer to the lake “But I think she will finally understand when she sees the arrivals and will have an idea of just how many kids are going to be here”

 

“It’ll be a steep learning curve for a few people” Clarke said before sighing loudly, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear that had blown into her face “You and I should be okay though”

 

“Well I mean I hope so considering how many times we have seen it” Lexa rolled her eyes playfully, catching herself dropping her guard more than she had expected in a single conversation. Keeping herself aware that she had just seen the same girl arguing with a man that was her boyfriend, but feeling as if she and the blonde were growing closer by the word “Too many times”

 

“Maybe not enough” Clarke refuted gently, her voice so quiet that Lexa couldn’t figure out whether she meant for her voice to be heard at all

 

Once they reached the lake they immediately began to unpack any gear that hadn’t already been set up and inspected, Lexa surprised by just how little she actually had to set up and how much work had been done the previous day whilst she was being trained as a first aid officer. It only took them two hours to clean and set up the chairs, tie the kayaks to the boardwalk and account for all life jackets and paddles; which Lexa thought was a pretty decent time even though they certainly weren’t rushing.

 

They found themselves sitting on the edge of the boardwalk once more, knowing they could afford the luxury of sitting around for a little while longer and Lexa being aware it was probably good for Clarke to have a little time with her thoughts after her argument with Finn. Lexa’s shoes sitting beside her as she kicked her feet lazily in the cool water below, leaning back with her arms behind her and tilting her head up towards the sun with a small smile on her face. Clarke sat closely beside her as they had the first day of orientation but she had her legs crossed and leaned her shoulder against the brunette, looking out over the peaceful water; mostly sitting in silence but breaking the quietness with spikes in conversations before they comfortably faded again. Lexa breathed in deeply, although Camp Jaha was somewhere she wanted to forget because of the actual kids who had attended it with her; she certainly couldn’t deny the fact that she was in love with the actual camp itself.

 

“How did you know that you needed a change when you decided to pack up and go to Europe for a year?” Clarke asked suddenly, breaking the silence once more, making Lexa aware that she was ready to talk again

 

“How did I know I needed a change?” Lexa questioned as she moved her head to look towards the blonde but otherwise staying in the same position “I didn’t really know I needed to make a change until I saw Costia in bed with someone else”

 

“But I mean you could have stayed in LA” Clarke responded quickly “You didn’t have to go but you decided to, why?”

 

“I honestly wasn’t sure that I had a choice, I had to get out of there and be as far away from her as possible because she shattered me” Lexa answered, her tone raw as she remembered the moment she had walked out of their shared apartment “It happened pretty quickly but I knew if I stayed I would have been miserable and I thought after doing nothing wrong that I in no way should have to be miserable. It created a lot more work for in that I’m a year behind where I should be and I certainly don’t have as much money as I did before but I think I’m happier for it”

 

“Your parents are pretty rich though” Clarke joked quietly as she kept her eyes focussed on her hands that were folded in her lap, Lexa feeling movement in her stomach as she watched the blonde smile unassumingly as she played with her own fingers “That’s something I don’t get”

 

“What don’t you get?” Lexa questioned softly, her hands pressing firmly into the wooden boardwalk underneath her

 

“Your parents have enough money for you not to be working here at all, even after Europe”

 

“ _My parents_ have enough money, I don’t” Lexa shrugged and looking away instantly as Clarke’s gaze lifted from her hands to look at the brunette “That’s a story for another time I think”

 

“Is it?” Clarke challenged teasingly

 

“Yes it is Clarke Griffin” Lexa answered swiftly, her legs kicking freely in the water “I’m enjoying this too much to talk about my finances or my lack of finances and my parents”

 

“Okay”

 

“Why did you ask me when I knew I needed a change?” The brunette asked cautiously

 

“Finn and I have been fighting a lot over the past few months; I didn’t even know whether he would be coming here this summer. For years I have pictured my life with Finn and what it’s going to look like when we’re older” Clarke spoke slowly, her voice getting caught in her throat a few times as she continued “I don’t know if I still want the same things but at the same time I don’t just want to abandon that idea of our future together when things get a little shaky. I mean we have been fighting a lot ever since I decided I wanted to transfer, he’s from Texas so he’s a little apprehensive of moving away from his family; and I don’t blame him because he’s really close to them. I just want to do this for myself and I know he understands that but I just feel so guilty all the time because he is so sure of our future and now I wake up every morning wondering if I’m supposed to be somewhere else. The awful thing is that he’s the sweetest, most supportive guy I could ask for but I don’t know, sometimes I just wonder what’s missing and why I even feel like that. It’s just that I always thought when I transferred to UCLA that he would be right there with me but now that he’s not, I’m not sure what we are going to do. We had kind of planned the move together and I’m not sure where it leaves me without him but I also don’t want to stay in Texas, I _need_ the change”

 

“I think maybe that’s a conversation you need to have with Finn, not me” Lexa said seriously, trying helplessly to hide the sudden disappointment that crept into her tone

 

“I know…it’s stupid but you have this weird ability to calm me down or to understand what I’m trying to say when I don’t think I make sense. You have an ability to know what I need to hear and I don’t really understand it” Clarke shook her head, her eyebrows curving as her facial expression changed instantly to display the same vulnerability her tone revealed “I just kind of want to hear what you think”

 

“I had a placement lined up in the children’s hospital before I went to Europe, that’s what I should have been preparing for right now rather than being here at Camp Jaha” Lexa spoke immediately after Clarke had finished her sentence, leaning forward and bringing her hands to rest on her knees as she shuffled away from the blonde slightly to hold her eye contact properly “I should have graduated from medical school and I should have been starting my internship and I don’t know whether they will offer me another internship after I blew my chance by deferring a year over a break-up”

 

“You had to do what you had to do” Clarke shrugged casually

 

“I thought I would be with Costia forever, I never even considered the possibility of being with someone else because I was in so deep with her; then she broke me to the point that I didn’t know how to put myself together again. I wasn’t sure if I was ever going to be able to put myself together after her…but I did” Lexa’s stomach stirred nervously as she caught Clarke’s gaze flickering to her lips, having to pause her sentence and exhale subtly; unable to deny the draw she felt towards the girl in front of her “My whole point is that life is hardly ever going to turn out like we think it is. Things get turned upside down in an instant, as you know, and you can’t plan for it so all you can do is allow the change to happen and go with it as well as you can”

 

“You’re right” Clarke responded quietly with a heavy rasp in her voice “I just think you were really brave to do what you did not knowing what you were coming home to, you were brave to take that risk”

 

“I mean clearly you shouldn’t listen to me because apparently I just throw my chances away” Lexa spoke, her tone dripping with sarcasm as her eyes dropped to her own hands but noticing Clarke subtly shuffling just an extra inch towards her “I’m not the best example to follow, I mean look where I am now”

 

“On the other side of that though, do you ever think that life places you exactly where you need to be when you need to be there?” The blonde spoke cautiously, Lexa feeling her gaze burning into the side of her head

 

“I don’t know” Lexa furrowed her eyebrows as she listened to her heartbeat rise rapidly through her ears, feeling the abnormality of its thuds deep in her chest, shyly looking down her lap with a small smile on her face “I don’t know if I believe in that kind of stuff”

 

“I guess I’m just confused about a lot of different things” Clarke admitted seriously “And I don’t know, maybe I’m just looking for answers too quickly. Maybe I should just let this play out how it’s supposed to instead of trying to push my life in a direction I want to go”

 

“Why are you confused though?” Lexa furrowed her eyebrows, afraid of what she knew would happen when she turned her head towards the blonde again but unable to stop herself from looking anyway

 

Clarke’s hand moved to cup her cheek gently, the touch of her warm hand was like fire against Lexa’s skin as the blonde inched closer towards her lips. Lexa swallowed thickly as her eyes fluttered closed, unaware of how badly she wanted that moment until it actually happened and her chest tightened with anticipation as they both slowly moved to close the gap between their lips. The brunette heard Clarke exhale deeply as their lips met; the simple, tentative kiss was as intense as anything Lexa had ever felt. Her left hand shifted to Clarke’s waist, feeling the heat of her skin even through her thick camp shirt; her fist closing over the material and gripping it tightly. The moment was intense, Lexa was a realist and she had kissed a lot of girls before but something was different about kissing the blonde and she couldn’t quite deny that. Her lips moved with the blonde’s gently, completely in sync as they continued to kiss very slowly; being delicate with one another as if they would crumble into tiny pieces if either of them adjusted anything they were doing.

 

Lexa knew she would have been happy to kiss Clarke for the rest of the summer like that, she would have been happy to stay in that moment because it was something she hadn’t experienced in a very long time; even when she was still with Costia. In a split second though she was brought back down to earth remembering that Clarke wasn’t hers to kiss, Clarke was in a relationship; albeit rocky but she wasn’t in a relationship with her.

 

Very reluctantly and slowly, Lexa drew her face back from Clarke; moving a little further away as Clarke shifted momentarily to follow the brunette until she realised the brunette was trying to break the kiss. Lexa’s eyes stayed firmly closed as she swallowed the giant lump that had formed in the back of her throat, inhaling and exhaling subtly slowly to try and steady her heart rate as she withdrew her hand from Clarke’s waist.

 

“We can’t” Lexa muttered shakily, the rawness of the moment still at the forefront of her mind “You’re just upset and you’re with Finn”

 

“I’m sorry” Clarke responded with her voice breaking at just above a whisper, shaking her head as she slowly inched herself away from Lexa and finally opening her eyes that only seemed to grasp the brunette’s attention further “You’re right”

 

“You’re just upset” Lexa repeated more to herself than anything as she tried to expel the emotion in Clarke’s blue eyes “And you said it yourself, you’re confused”

 

“Maybe I should go” Clarke said reluctantly, her eyes searching Lexa’s but all the brunette could do was nod in agreement

 

Lexa moved her hand to grip the back of her own neck tightly as she looked out towards the water once more, feeling Clarke shift beside her to stand. She paused for a moment without saying a word, Lexa could feel Clarke’s eyes on her but she didn’t want to look up, instead she inhaled deeply and waited until she heard the blonde’s hurried footsteps against the sound of the wooden boardwalk; only glancing backwards when she knew it was too late for her to stop the retreating girl. Lexa watched her walking quickly only for a few steps before turning back to the water and lifting her head up to the sky, bringing her hands to cover her face roughly and groaning. She wasn’t groaning because she had kissed Clarke, she wasn’t groaning because she regretted it; she was groaning because she had no idea how much she was completely drawn in by the younger girl until they shared that moment and she hadn’t realized until it was too late. Lexa also realized that now she was going to have to deal with the feeling of knowing what she wanted but not being able to have it because ultimately Clarke was Finn’s and she wasn’t going to do anything to convince the blonde otherwise; she wouldn’t be the one to break up a couple.

 

“Great” Lexa muttered to herself sarcastically, her eyes clasped closed tightly as she rubbed her eyes once more before reaching down to grip the edge of the boardwalk tightly “This is great”

 

\---

 

After a final camp counselor dinner, the mess hall was quickly converted into a small theatre; a projected lined up against the wall and a new release movie was playing loudly to give everyone some kind of form of entertainment before they packed up for the night in anticipation of the early morning the next day. Lexa sat in the back row with Anya, having hardly said a word the entire rest of the day because she couldn’t seem to make herself talk; her thoughts still completely focused on the boardwalk and more to the point she was completely focused on Clarke.

 

She had sat as far away from the blonde as she could manage during dinner, pulling Anya to a table filled with people she had hardly had any interaction with because she didn’t want to have to talk; she didn’t want to have to say a word because she wasn’t exactly sure what she would come out with. Lexa knew she would have to speak to Clarke soon and it wasn’t as if she could avoid her for long but she was going to try and lengthen that time of silence for as long as she could.

 

Lexa leaned back into her chair as her eyes hollowly followed the pictures being projected against the wall, sighing gruffly and folding her arms against her stomach as her eyes caught sight of the blonde hair she was trying to avoid thinking about once more. Clarke sat in the second row next to her friends and next to Finn who had his arm loosely around her chair but making no actual contact with her shoulders as she leaned away from his side. The brunette clenched her jaw tightly, blinking quickly before her eyes landed on the back of the blonde’s head; receiving a quick nudge in her ribs from her friend next to her.

 

“What?” Lexa hissed angrily

 

“You going to actually watch the movie?” Anya asked with raised eyebrows as her eyes followed Lexa’s gaze before it shifted to Anya

 

“Are you?” Lexa countered quickly, tightening her arms against her body and crossing her legs quickly

 

“I actually am” Anya responded, nodding furiously as she looked back up to the screen; signalling that she was done questioning her younger friend

 

Lexa wasn’t sure why she was so angry, she wasn’t sure why she cared so much but something inside of her knew she was just bitter because maybe she wanted to be next to Clarke instead of Finn. Lexa couldn’t deny the feelings that were rapidly building for the younger girl but she was also not going to allow herself to do anything about it; refusing to be that person and promising herself that she wouldn’t give into any temptations. She had no idea how Clarke was feeling about the whole incident anyway, she knew the blonde had probably had some time to think it over after their raw moment but she didn’t know whether she was going to try and avoid Lexa herself or whether she was going to want to discuss what happened.

 

She had never expected to be in the situation she found herself in; a week into camp she had never expected to have reunited with the one girl whom she actually liked at that camp and to feel the way she did so suddenly. Lexa looked down to her feet, wiggling her toes in her shoes as she tried to distract herself from her own overthinking; she had never expected to feel the level of attraction she did for anyone as quickly as she did with Clarke. The worst thing in Lexa’s mind was that she had kissed someone’s girlfriend; she had kissed someone who was in a relationship with someone else. On top of everything the  blonde was in a relationship with a guy who she considered to be a really great person. The worst part was that she felt horrible because Finn had only ever been nice and kind to her since they had been there; if her overthinking didn’t swallow her alive then she knew her guilt probably would.

 

I’m going to bed” Lexa spoke quickly as she glanced up with a louder than expected exhale, planting her feet flatly on the ground before standing from her seat; feeling her friend grab her wrist tightly and look at her questionably “I’m tired”

 

“Do you want me to come with?” Anya asked tilting her head slightly in confusion

 

“No, you stay” Lexa responded before she quietly and politely shuffled past the few people who were sitting next to her

 

The quiet commotion caught the attention of a few people in the mess hall, including Clarke who had turned around to catch Lexa’s gaze; sitting up straight as soon as they locked eyes. Lexa gave her a quick and barely there half smile before stuffing her hands in her pockets and hurrying out of the mess hall with her head down and her hair falling around her face as she did so.

 

“I saw that you know” She heard Raven say from behind her, bringing her footsteps to a complete halt before she turned on her heel to face the other girl who had her hands by her side “I saw you both looking at each other like that and no one else might have but I did”

 

“I’m not trying to do anything” Lexa said immediately, her eyes widening as Raven approached her quickly “Whatever you saw…I wasn’t doing anything”

 

“I love Finn and Clarke but I don’t think their supposed to be together, I think they both know that too but I think they’re both holding onto something that is safe for each of them” Raven continued quietly, clasping her hands together in front of her “Finn is a great guy but I don’t think he’s supposed to be with Clarke”

 

“Why are you telling me that?” Lexa raised her eyebrows, confusion completely etched over her expression and bringing a hand to tuck her loose hair behind her ear “You’re their friend”

 

“That’s exactly why I’m telling you” Raven replied nodding before she continued slowly “This probably won’t make much sense but I think Finn reminds Clarke of her dad and I think she has it in her mind she is kind of expected to be with him. They both just need to come to the realisation that they’re not supposed to be together and there’s only so much you can do until you have to give up. The only people that haven’t figured that out yet are those two”

 

“I don’t want to do anything to drive a wedge between them; I don’t want to be a realization for anyone”

 

“I’m definitely not asking you to do that” Raven crinkled her eyebrows, feigning annoyance “I’m just asking you to be patient until Clarke figures all of this out on her own”

 

“Why would you come and tell me this?” Lexa questioned skeptically

 

“I’m just trying to be a good friend to Clarke. She obviously cares about you and I think that’s only going to grow as time passes here; I mean clearly there was something building between you two before you left the first time” Raven continued with a shrug “Or maybe there was and you didn’t realize it. Anyway, for her sake just be patient until she figures out what she really wants. Let them figure this out on their own”

 

“I wasn’t planning on doing anything else” Lexa commented quickly, nervousness seeping deep into the pit of her stomach “But I just mean why not just tell Clarke that you think she and Finn aren’t supposed to be together?”

 

“I know this is weird me coming to you and telling you this but if we told Clarke this instead of letting her figure it out herself she’d be super pissed and then tighten her grip on Finn even more because she’d want to prove us wrong” Raven smirked as she nodded slowly “She’s pretty headstrong like that”

 

“You’re right, this _is_ weird”

 

“I know and I probably shouldn’t have followed you out but I thought I had to” Raven said taking a step away from Lexa to give her some further space “I just want Clarke to be happy and after seeing how she is around you, I think you’re the best way for her to find that happiness”

 

Raven didn’t say another word, she flashed Lexa a brief smile before she turned around and disappeared as quickly as she had appeared behind Lexa; leaving the medical student in complete confusion. She understood what Raven was trying to say to her but she couldn’t fathom that Clarke’s friends comprehended the situation better than she probably did herself. Her head was way too full for one day and for that she was thankful that the campers would be occupying the entire camp tomorrow; leaving her with much less time to think about the blonde because she knew she had all summer to torture herself.

 

It was going to be a much longer summer than what Lexa had already originally expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? 
> 
> I will update soon :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all of your comments and the love so far for this story :) This will be a shorter story compared to my last few so things will pick up a little from here. 
> 
> Enjoy :)

Lexa heard the close, terrified screams of campers as she pressed her back tightly to the cabin she was hiding against, her heart beat spiked hearing the screams creep closer towards her and hurried footsteps approaching. She inhaled and exhaled deeply a few times, trying to regain her composure as she considered her next move and looked for a way to return to the safe zone without coming into any harm. The sun was beating down relentlessly against her skin and her legs were practically screaming at her after all the running she had been doing but she knew she was going to have to push herself in order to do what she needed to so she could survive. She didn’t think she had any help around her; she was separated from the group she had been in on their quest for safety but had been broken away after the group scattered throughout the campgrounds so she could only depend on herself.

 

Swallowing thickly she glanced around the corner of the cabin, noticing that she was going to have to make a run for the next cabin if she was going to survive the Zombie Apocalypse. So without a second thought she pushed off her back leg quickly, without looking anywhere but the next cabin that she was running to for cover and moved her legs as quickly as they would carry her; feeling the discomfort in her legs only increase with every step. She pushed forward until she reached the cover of the next cabin, sighing quietly as her brain processed what could be her next move until she felt two hands grip her waist tightly before letting go again; her head instantly turning to see Clarke next to her with a grin on her face.

 

“Consider yourself a zombie” Clarke said proudly with a smug smile, leaning her shoulder up against the cabin and folding her arms against her chest loosely “You were really far behind your group”

 

“Well they did just leave me” Lexa responded shrugging, not being able to help the smile that tugged at her lips as she watched the smirking blonde “How did you find me?”

 

“I was actually just doing a sweep to see if anyone was on their own” Clarke answered with a shrug of her own “And then I found you”

 

“So you did” Lexa retorted quickly, pausing as the conversation halted instantly when they heard another set of high pitched screams in the distance “Who got you anyway? I thought I saw you in my line of survivors”

 

“Yeah I was surrounded by a bunch of campers guarding the safe zone” Clarke chuckled, her attention refocussing on the brunette in front of her “I guess they all kind of wanted me dead more than I thought”

 

“Ouch” Lexa responded lightly, shoving her hands in her pockets roughly as she turned her head to look around the mostly empty row of cabins “So should we go back then?”

 

“Depends, are you going to walk with me?”

 

It had been a week since the campers had arrived, a week since Clarke had kissed Lexa and a week since Lexa had actually spoken to the blonde properly. She had kept her distance from the younger girl since Raven had followed her outside of the mess hall and spoke to her about Clarke’s relationship; needing to find her own clarity within what she understood about the situation. Deep down Lexa didn’t want to give Clarke space, the brunette found herself even further drawn to the head camp counsellor after their kiss but she understood that the other girl was already taken. So Lexa thought that her best solution to her problem would be to try avoid the blonde so she could further avoid what was developing within her.

 

It was difficult because their cabins were directly across from each other, Clarke was one of the only people Lexa felt like she could talk to there and they worked in such close proximity together but she tried to be polite as possible in the way she avoided the blonde. Her feelings for Clarke was something that still confused her because it developed so quickly but she had come to the realisation that they weren’t going to go away any time soon and she was either going to have to deal with the fact that Clarke was with Finn or she was going to have to change something about her own situation to avoid thinking about it so often. Lexa had watched Clarke deliberately place herself in her group of survivors during the camp wide game of zombie apocalypse, furthering herself towards the starting line of her group as the blonde moved towards her; knowing that it was just a matter of time until they were going to have to address what had happened between them a week ago by the lake.

 

“Why wouldn’t I walk with you?” Lexa asked, weakly feigning surprise in her tone

 

“We both know you’ve been avoiding me” Clarke cocked an eyebrow, narrowing her eyes slightly as she pushed herself from her cabin to take a step towards the older girl who raised her chin slightly; swallowing thickly before taking a subtle step away “See”

 

“I haven’t been _avoiding_ you” Lexa replied quickly with a shake of her head and a sigh, taking a hand from her pocket to lift it to hold the back of her neck

 

“See now I know you’re lying” Clarke countered, unwilling to back down and forcing Lexa to take another step backwards as she approached the older girl slowly “You scratch the back of your neck when you’re lying”

 

“I do that when I’m nervous” Lexa corrected with a furrowed brow “Have you been taking notes on me or something?”

 

“I don’t blame you if you were avoiding me” Clarke said seriously, all teasing tones in her voice evaporating within seconds “I’d be avoiding me too”

 

“Maybe I have been avoiding you but I’m not avoiding you because I want to” Lexa tried to explain, moving her hand from her neck as she suddenly became conscious of her actions “I just kind of think I needed to”

 

“I get it, I kissed you and I shouldn’t have” Clarke’s voice falling just above a whisper as her eyes stayed focussed on the brunette, unwilling to look away as she tried to get her point across to the older girl “I put you in an awkward position and I’m sorry but I don’t want you to have to avoid me”

 

“You’re with someone else, Clarke” Lexa said, wincing at her own words “It’s not just that we’re in an awkward position but you’re with someone”

 

“I know” Clarke replied instantly, holding her hands up in front of her “And I realise that I was overstepping so many boundaries by doing what I did”

 

“So why did you do it then, knowing all of that?” Lexa asked curiously, feeling a sudden heat develop through her body that had nothing to do with the afternoon sun but everything to do with the fact that she was waiting for an answer from the blonde

 

“I’m not sure” Clarke muttered quietly, the confidence she had been displaying moments ago faded instantly

 

“Maybe we should just forget the whole thing happened” Lexa offered with a small nod, knowing it would be impossible for her to forget but willing to pretend in order to make both of their lives a little easier for the remainder of their time at camp “I mean it would probably make things a little easier for us, we’re here for the next 7 weeks so we’re going to need to be around each other”

 

“I’ve got no problems being around you” Clarke responded seriously, her tone hushed but firm “I like hanging out with you and I think it would be a complete waste if we kept avoiding each other”

 

“We’re working way too closely together to be able to avoid each other” Lexa shook her head with a sigh “So we just forget it?”

 

“I’m not sure if it’s a case of forgetting” Clarke admitted quietly, holding Lexa’s unsure gaze with a tilt of her head “I know I probably shouldn’t be saying this but I don’t know if I could forget that. After that being said though, I’m with Finn and until we work out what is going on with us; I just need to keep all of that to myself”

 

“Have you told him that we kissed?” Lexa asked curiously as she pushed some loose strands from her face

 

“No but I’ll probably have to”

 

“I know this is horrible to say but maybe you don’t need to” Lexa replied, gulping at her own words; her strong dislike for dishonesty scolding her internally but she couldn’t deny the awkwardness that the public knowledge of the kiss would bring “You said it yourself, you kissed me and you shouldn’t have. You’re with someone else and you were upset, it was just a kiss and we can forget about it because it didn’t mean anything…right?”

 

“Right” Clarke said with a nod, a glimpse of disappointment filling her expression before she took a step away from Lexa to give the brunette some further distance “Yeah, I guess it was a mistake so maybe I don’t need to tell him”

 

“Yeah” The brunette agreed simply

 

“So no more avoiding each other then?” Clarke asked hopefully, raising her eyebrows

 

“Sure thing” Lexa agreed reluctantly before she walked past Clarke, placing a gently hand on her elbow to pull the younger girl along with her before retracting her hand again and burying them deep into her pockets “We’ve got to be some of the last people getting back, right?”

 

“I think so; I mean I’m kind of surprised that you lasted so long” Clarke joked playfully “Usually you’re one of the first ones to get caught”

 

“That’s because everyone used to try and catch me” Lexa pointed out very quickly, shooting a sideways glance and wondering how the awkwardness could disperse so quickly once she was actually talking to the other girl “It’s nice to not have everyone chasing after me”

 

“See, this is a perfect chance for you to start over with this place”

 

“Closure and a fresh start” Lexa said with a sigh as she repeated the blonde’s own words to her “I guess”

 

“I’ll make you a lover of Camp Jaha yet” Clarke responded, lightly nudging the other girl in the ribs gently

 

“Okay so I wondered where you both went and I kind of figured I would find you together” Octavia said as she ran up towards the pair, reaching her hands out to touch them both but Clarke just held up her arms in surrender

 

“We’re both already zombies” Clarke replied with a sigh “My perfect record is gone”

 

“You made it back as a survivor every time you played this?” Octavia raised her eyebrows “How did you manage that?”

 

“I was just smart about making it back to the safe zone but it’s too difficult when all of the kids come after you as soon as you start” Clarke explained, shrugging quickly as her friend started walking beside her and glancing to Lexa who had her eyes on the ground in front of her “Lexa here always got caught”

 

“Yeah this is not my game” Lexa admitted quickly

 

“Well at least you were a survivor in the first place, I didn’t even get the chance” Octavia chuckled quietly “Finn’s pretty much catching everyone as they think they’re safe, it’s pretty funny to watch actually”

 

“He just waits until they get close to the safe zone and grabs them” Clarke said rolling her eyes

 

“Have you asked Lexa to come out with us tonight yet?” Octavia asked looking between the two girls with a grin etched on her face, rocking back and forth on her toes

 

“No, not yet” Clarke responded, her eyes glancing sideways to Lexa momentarily before looking back at her friend “I didn’t find the time to yet in between trying to keep an eye on my group and trying to catch her”

 

“You’re going out tonight?” Lexa scrunched her eyebrows in confusion “Where are you going? Are you allowed to leave?”

 

“We’re not sneaking out if that’s what you’re thinking” Octavia shook her head “Abby is letting a group of us go seeing as they’re having a movie night tonight and don’t need all of us so when they kids go to the mess hall, we’re going out”

 

“We’re only going to a bar, it’s nothing special and it’s definitely not my favourite place but it will be nice to get away for a few hours and just hang out” Clarke explained with a small smile, holding Lexa’s eye contact as she finished her sentence “You should come, it will be fun”

 

“And bring Anya, we haven’t gotten the chance to really get to know you guys yet so I think it would be awesome” Octavia added playfully “Plus I’m not taking no for an answer so be ready by 8 and you’re going”

 

“I’ll talk to Anya but I know she’ll want to go” Lexa replied with a chuckle as she gently kicked a rock from her path “I don’t know, bars aren’t really my thing”

 

“They’re not mine either” Clarke agreed almost too quickly “But it was either the bar or a strip club because for some reason those are the only two things around this place”

 

“My vote was actually the strip club but I settled for bar once I lost the vote” Octavia said with a wink, leaving Lexa unable to tell whether she was joking or not “I mean it was only Raven and I who voted for the strip club, I don’t know why Lincoln and Finn voted for the bar rather than the club”

 

“The strip club is for old, gross truckers who have too much time on their hands while passing through” Clarke grimaced visibly, shuddering as her mind drifted to what Lexa could only guess was the strip club itself before the blonde snapped back to her actual location “I mean that’s what I was told”

 

“You’ve been there, no point in denying it” Octavia scoffed, pushing her friend gently on the shoulder “Lexa can already see that you’ve been there”

 

“I can” Lexa admitted with a smirk, watching the blonde curiously and unable to stop her chest from tightening as she watched the younger girls cheek redden in embarrassment “I can tell”

 

“Well it wasn’t my idea” Clarke defended herself quickly “I didn’t want to go but I was dragged there”

 

“Yeah okay” Octavia laughed with a shake of her head and another light push to her friend before turning her attention from her friend “So anyway, you and Anya need to come. We’re meeting outside Clarke’s cabin at 8”

 

“I’ll ask Anya if she wants to go”

 

“If she doesn’t you should still come” Clarke suggested with a small smile “It will be fun and maybe you’d like a little break from the camp grounds”

 

“Yeah, maybe” Lexa replied quietly

 

\---

 

Lexa sat on her bed, lacing her shoes next to her suitcase as she watched Anya sitting almost too closely to the very small mirror positioned against the wall in the corner of the cabin. She ducked her head as she applied her eyeliner, her mouth hanging slightly agape as she worked carefully to not ruin the so far perfect work. Anya had jumped at the chance of leaving Camp Jaha to hang out with Clarke and her friends; she would have jumped at the chance of going out for a grocery run if it meant she got to have a small break from camp grounds. Lexa had been internally debating all afternoon about whether or not she actually wanted to go out, she would be happy to step out of the bubble of Camp Jaha but she wasn’t sure whether she wanted to subject herself to the awkwardness she would feel when she interacted with Finn because of the sheer guilt she felt for kissing Clarke. She also wasn’t sure she wanted to have to witness Clarke and Finn together, even though Lexa knew very well that the blonde would probably spend more time with herself than she would her actual boyfriend. Lexa didn’t understand their dynamic at all, she didn’t understand how they worked because to her; the couple were more like friends and she considered how she acted with the blonde to be more couple like than anything she had witnessed between the two. Lexa sighed loudly as she placed both of her hands on the tops of her shoes, looking to her friend once more who was holding her gaze through the mirror.

 

“What are you brooding over?” Anya asked with a raised eyebrow and a small smirk “I know that I’m taking long but I will be ready in a minute”

 

“You do know that we are going to a tiny bar in the middle of nowhere, right?” Lexa asked curiously as she watched her friend resume her make-up application “We’re not going out in LA”

 

“Well you wouldn’t really know what that’s like because you never come out with me anyway” Anya quipped instantly with a proud grin after making her point “Costia would always be up for going out but it was you who never came with”

 

“Yeah and look how well that pairing worked out for me” Lexa grumbled with a shake of her head “I prefer to just not talk about her or remember she ever existed so I kind of just forget about all of that”

 

“You can’t forget her; you were together for a long time”

 

“Believe me, I’m trying”

 

“You know she was my friend too and I stopped talking to her because of what she did to you, right?” Anya questioned seriously with a small frown as she listened to the other girl “I could have still been her friend”

 

“Yeah, because of what _she_ did to _me_ ” Lexa snapped as she ran a hand through her hair “She was the one who was in the wrong”

 

“She was still my friend though” Anya continued quickly “I’m not sure you appreciate me enough”

 

“I appreciate you” Lexa rolled her eyes before picking up her pillow and tossing it lightly to hit Anya’s back who turned around instantly to glare at her younger friend before throwing the pillow back “I don’t even want to go out tonight”

 

“I didn’t think you would want to but you’re coming and we’re going to have a good night” Anya said with a nod as she pushed back from the mirror to observe herself before rifling through her oversized make-up bag “Are you sure you don’t want me to do your make up, you hardly look like you’re wearing any”

 

“That’s the way I like it” Lexa explained with a frown and a shake of her head “And remember how I told you that we’re going to a small bar?”

 

“When I say we’re going to have a good night I mean please just drop the weird tension you have with Clarke for our time out” Anya said seriously, pausing as she watched Lexa lift her chin slightly and clench her jaw subtly; nodding slowly while being unable to meet her friend’s eyes once more “That’s not going to be around tonight, right?”

 

“No” Lexa answered simply, biting her teeth down to stop herself from saying anything further

 

“What?” Anya asked raising her eyebrows “What aren’t you telling me?”

 

“Nothing”

 

“Lexa you’re a horrible liar so just tell me whatever you’re trying to stop yourself from telling me” Anya replied instantly “We both know you want to tell me something”

 

“Clarke kissed me” Lexa confessed awkwardly as she watched her friend freeze instantly, turning her body slowly to face the younger girl

 

“She kissed you?” Anya raised her eyebrows “Did you kiss her back?”

 

“Yes” The medical student responded with complete honesty, knowing that she was about to be berated but she figured she deserved anything Anya was about to say to her

 

“Are you serious, Lexa?” Anya asked, her voice raising slowly “You kissed her and she has a boyfriend?”

 

“She had just fought with Finn and she was upset” Lexa replied, her hands up in front of her defensively “It was a short kiss and it meant nothing”

 

“Now you know I don’t buy that for a second and I know you don’t think that at all” Anya snapped angrily “If you kissed someone then it meant something but I’m just wondering how someone so smart could be so stupid”

 

“I know”

 

“No you don’t know” Anya retorted, her eyebrows crinkling to display the complete look of anger on her face “We were just talking about Costia and you did the exact same thing that she did to you to someone else”

 

“That’s different” Lexa countered flatly “I didn’t sleep with the girl and I don’t know what is going on with Clarke and Finn but I don’t think they’re going to be together for much longer”

 

“They’re still together though and it’s not up to you to do anything to change that” Anya snapped heatedly

 

“Anya _she_ kissed _me_ ”

 

“But you kissed her back”

 

“It doesn’t matter anyway, we talked about it today and we’re just forgetting about it” Lexa explained calmly, exhaling deeply being aware just how easily conversations could be heard from the outside of their cabins “I know that she is with Finn and that’s why I’m completely backing off, that’s why I have been staying away from her all week”

 

“So why are you going out with her tonight then?” The older girl questioned sharply

 

“We’ll I’m not going out with her, I’m going out with everyone which a moment ago was apparently a great idea”

 

“A moment ago I didn’t know that she is cheating on her boyfriend with you” Anya replied abruptly

 

“That’s not what happened, she was upset. She was confused and I was just talking to her” The medical student rebutted “I’ve known Clarke for a long time, or I did and I can’t deny that maybe there are some feelings there but I would never encourage her or the situation when she is in a relationship”

 

“So don’t come out tonight then” Anya offered seriously “If you mean what you say then don’t come out with us. I know that you care about her, I can see that and I think everyone, including Finn can see that there is something between you two but until they work it out; you need to back away. Backing away from her means you don’t spend time with her that you don’t have to, you don’t hang out with each other in camp wide games and you don’t go out with her tonight”

 

“Okay” Lexa said simply as she brought her hand to rub her eyes roughly before looking to her friend once more “Okay, yeah I won’t go tonight”

 

“You’re not going to be able to forget about it” Anya chastised as she shook her head quickly with a loud sigh “I told you that she had a boyfriend, to not get involved”

 

“I didn’t get involved” Lexa exclaimed as with frustration lining her tone “I didn’t want this to happen”

 

“But you like her, don’t you?” Anya asked seriously “You like Clarke”

 

“Yes” Lexa responded, shutting her eyes tightly before placing her hands on top of her head “I mean I think I am figuring out that it’s more complicated than I thought it would be, I didn’t think I would actually feel anything for her but I honestly don’t think I can help it”

 

“Just promise me you’re going to keep out of her relationship”

 

“I already told Clarke that we need to just forget it so it’s fine” Lexa said quickly as she dropped her hands down to her side “She’s just…this is not what I was expecting”

 

There was a commanding knock on the door, Lexa automatically taking a few quick strides from her bed before opening it and seeing a dressed up Raven standing in front of them with a smile as she spotted Clarke, Finn, Bellamy, Lincoln and Octavia standing at the edge of the cabin as they watched on expectedly.

 

“I know it’s not eight yet but are you guys ready to go?” Raven asked hopefully “We kind of want to get going”

 

“I’m ready” Anya said as she moved to her bed, picking up her purse whilst eyeing her friend intently and pushing past her to stand at the door “Lexa’s not feeling well so she isn’t going to come”

 

“For real?” Raven asked with a cocked eyebrow, looking over Anya’s shoulder at the medical student “You’re not coming with us?”

 

“I think I might have heatstroke or something” Lexa said with a shrug “But it’s cool, I’ll get some water and I’m sure I will be fine”

 

“You can’t just come with?” Raven questioned

 

“Who isn’t coming with?” Bellamy asked from the edge of the cabin as they watched on

 

“Lexa isn’t feeling well” Raven spoke over her shoulder but keeping her eyes on the other girl, watching her sceptically which made Lexa endlessly uncomfortable “So you’re definitely not coming?”

 

“She’ll be fine” Anya reassured Raven as she took a step out of the apartment, glancing at the group and noticing the particularly worried face of the blonde “She’s fine”

 

“She’s not coming?” Clarke questioned, taking a step towards the cabin to try and see Lexa for herself

 

“We can always go another night” Lincoln suggested

 

“No” Lexa responded as she popped her head out of the cabin, catching Clarke’s attention immediately and only finding the ability to smile weakly at the younger girl “You guys go”

 

“You’re not feeling well?” Clarke asked in a concerned tone, worry etched over her face

 

“Just heatstroke, you guys go and have fun. Anya is itching to go and I’m sure you all are too” Lexa responded seriously, offering a weak smile as she looked over Clarke’s shoulder to lock eyes with Finn who looked just as concerned as Clarke; which made Lexa actually feel unwell “Have fun”

 

“That sucks that you feel sick” Octavia offered with a sympathetic smile before grabbing Lincoln’s hand and pulling him backwards “We better get going though”

 

“Are you sure?” Clarke asked one last time, only having eyes for Lexa even when Finn placed a hand on her shoulder

 

“Yeah, look after Anya please” Lexa responded “No strip clubs either”

 

“We can’t make any promises” Octavia joked with a chuckle

 

Anya gave Lexa’s loose hair a brief ruffle, joining Clarke and her friends at the edge of the cabin before the group began to move, although their voices were hushed she could tell they were far too excited to have stayed back for her own sake. She was happy that she would be staying home, Anya was right; Lexa needed to stay out of anything that was going on between Clarke and Finn even if she was steadily developing feelings for the blonde. It was best for Lexa to stay out of trouble and although she promised the other girl that she was going to stop avoiding her, she knew she would be questioned about her sudden illness when they spoke the next day. Lexa found herself intentionally staring at the back of Clarke’s head as they walked away, only realising she was doing so when Clarke turned around to offer a passing glance back at the cabin to find the medical student looking at her. Lexa’s eyes widened momentarily before raising her hand slightly by her side to wave, seeing the blonde offer a small smile as she turned back to face the path she was walking.

 

Lexa rubbed her eyes roughly once more before closing the door to the cabin, pausing as if she was waiting for Clarke to come back and knock on the door to check whether she was actually sick or whether it was just a ploy to avoid her. It didn’t happen of course and the loud, excited voices of the group soon faded as they left Lexa alone in her cabin; resting her forehead against the door and hitting it very lightly against the wood of the cabin a few times in frustration. She sat on her bed for an hour, sitting and wondering whether the draw she had felt to Clarke had started even when she attended as a camper because it almost felt too strong to Lexa for it to have started when they first saw each other again. It just felt strange to Lexa, wondering whether it felt odd to Clarke as well how connected she could feel with the blonde after not seeing each other for the better part of ten years.

 

After she had spent enough time eating at her own thoughts she decided to make her way up to the mess hall, sitting at the very back of the room as it was set up as a makeshift theatre with a number of beanbags at the front of the room and quiet whispering was the only sound that filled the air besides the crackling sound of the movie. Lexa sat with her arms folded and her legs out in front of her, narrowing her eyes as she tried to catch up with the storyline that was already deeply in progress; remembering what it had been like on movie nights when she was a camper. She would sit at the very back of the room by herself like she had been at that moment, happy for the darkness and the distraction of the other kids to provide her some relief and peace movie nights gave her. She would always find the blonde next to her by the end of the night, never sure how she actually ended up there but always knowing that when the lights turned back on she would find Clarke sitting next to her as almost a safety net. Lexa didn’t know why Clarke had always been so nice to her when she didn’t need to be, Lexa didn’t know why Clarke always felt the need to show her those subtle moments of kindness when she was so openly nice and suffered for it at times when kids teased her for their friendship. It happened so often that she kind of had the expectation that the girl would be next to her by the end of the night but Lexa knew that wouldn’t be the case; it couldn’t be anyway. To be completely truthful, Lexa always admired the blonde because it seemed as if Clarke never even cared about what words were spoken about her; even though she was largely popular within the camp, no one was immune from the taunting Lexa seemed to bring upon herself and anyone she interacted with.

 

It didn’t take much for Lexa to admit to herself that she was completely caught up in the younger girl, she was completely drawn to someone who she couldn’t have and she hated that she had let herself get there. It shouldn’t have come as a surprise to her that she was feeling like she was when she really thought about it, something about Clarke had always surprised and intrigued her; but now that she was older she realised that her feelings towards the girl weren’t platonic. She wouldn’t let herself think about it though, she wouldn’t let her mind linger on the kiss that she also wouldn’t admit was one of the best kissed she had ever had; instead she knew she was going to have to push it towards the back of her mind until hopefully it faded.

 

After two movies and four hours it was time for the campers to go to bed, each cabin group being lead out from the mess hall; many of them already either half asleep or hyped up to the point that Lexa knew they wouldn’t be sleeping for quite some time and making her happy that she wasn’t responsible for getting them back to their bunks. She hadn’t even followed a single storyline in either of the movies that were shown, caught within her own mind the entire time; not only thinking about Clarke but wondering how their night was going outside the camp. She watched the campers leaving, a blank expression on her face as she avoided all eye contact with the kids who gazed at her whilst she casually stayed in her previous position with her arms folded loosely against her chest. She heard the sounds of chairs being moved and stacked, signalling to her that she should probably stand up to do the same. She picked up her own chair, stacking upon the empty chair next to her until she had an entire row stacked neatly in front of her.

 

“Are you going to pull that all the way to the other side of the room?” Gustus asked as he leaned up against her stack of chairs with a smile on his face “Not saying that you couldn’t do it but I think you’re pretty small to do it without some trouble”

 

“I can do it” Lexa responded with a small shrug, a tiny smile tugging at the corners of her mouth “Is that a challenge?”

 

“You can take it as one” Gustus replied when he shifted from the chair to allow Lexa the opportunity to move her chairs by herself “You know, if you talked more you could probably ask for help”

 

“I don’t need help” Lexa said instantly as she began to pull the chairs with great resistance but was making her way successfully to the back wall

 

“So you used to come here every summer?” Gustus asked with a raised eyebrow, walking beside Lexa as she struggled “You can ask for help”

 

“I don’t need it” Lexa countered stubbornly, pulling the large stack of chairs uncomfortably with all of her weight “And yes, I was left here every summer”

 

“You were left here?”

 

“My parents just left me here” Lexa replied, glancing to Gustus who had a very amused smirk on his face “They didn’t want me for the summer so they left me here”

 

“Are you sure they didn’t just want you wasting your summer doing nothing at home?” Gustus questioned very quickly

 

“My parents went on holidays while I was here, they didn’t want to take me with” Lexa muttered as she reached the back wall only a few strides later, looking down at her reddened hands instantly but feeling a satisfied burn knowing she had completed the older man’s challenge “Done”

 

“I knew you’d do it, I thought it might just get you there quicker if you had someone telling you they doubted you” Gustus admitted as he chuckled heartily to himself “I was right about you”

 

“What were you right about?”

 

“You’re stubborn but you’re determined” Gustus shrugged “And now that you have done that stack, you can do some more”

 

“I was planning on it”

 

“Gustus, leave the poor girl alone” Abby said with an exasperated sigh as she appeared by Lexa’s side; her hands on her hips before brushing a stray lock of hair from her face “You have to get down to your cabin anyway once we’re done here”

 

“Just talking” Gustus smiled toothily, giving Lexa a nod before backing away to call out to another counsellor; leaving to shake her head with a grin on her face

 

“He’s a character” Abby replied with another sigh but a smile breaking the seriousness on her face “But we’re lucky to have him”

 

“He certainly is” Lexa responded as she eyed the older man for a moment before turning her attention to the woman next to her “Do you need help with anything else besides the chairs?”

 

“No, I think we’re all covered thank you” Abby said with a nod “Although I could use some help putting the beanbags in the back”

 

“Of course” Lexa replied with an overly polite tone, feeling slightly awkward around the mother of the girl she couldn’t get out of her head

 

“Why aren’t you out with Clarke and her friends?” Abby asked curiously as they walked to the front of the room, taking a beanbag in each of her hands as Lexa followed and began walking with her towards the storage closet “I thought Clarke mentioned that she was going to invite you”

 

“Oh, she did” Lexa said with a furrowed brow “I just wasn’t feeling well earlier but I feel much better now, Anya went though so I’m sure they are having a good night”

 

“That’s a shame, I knew Clarke would have liked for you to have gone” Abby said with a soft smile as she dropped the beanbags from her hands into the corner of the closet and signalling for Lexa to do the same before they moved towards the front of the room once more “You know she was devastated when you didn’t come back that first summer”

 

“She was?” Lexa responded with legitimate surprise, her face scrunching in confusion “Why?”

 

“Well she liked you and she considered you a friend” Abby explained nonchalantly “You two spent every summer here for so many years, she was always going to react like that, I really think she looked up to you; I think she still does”

 

“Believe me, there’s nothing to look up to” Lexa mumbled, grabbing two more beanbags tightly “So I’m not too sure why she would”

 

“I can see why she would” Abby nodded with a smile “Jake always said that he was happy that Clarke liked hanging out with you as much as she did because at least he knew that you were going to be a good influence. You know better than anyone that some of the kids here weren’t on the straightest of paths”

 

“I’m really sorry about your husband by the way, I had no idea” Lexa replied quietly, ducking her head and not daring to look Abby in the eyes as an awkward silence passed between the two as the made their way back to the storage closet “I would have said something otherwise”

 

“Thank you, I know you would have but we don’t really broadcast it” Abby replied with a small shrug and a sad smile “He would have been very happy that you’re back”

 

“I hope so” Lexa responded with a nod “That obviously hit Clarke pretty hard”

 

“Yeah, you remember what a close relationship they had and it only grew as she got older so it’s still pretty fresh for her” Abby answered with a sigh, dropping the beanbags before turning to Lexa quickly “That’s why it was so difficult to get Clarke to come back here this year, she didn’t want to be reminded of him because it was so difficult last year without him”

 

“I can imagine” Lexa muttered almost inaudibly “But you obviously convinced her to come”

 

“I begged, I needed the help” Abby responded with a sad smile “Clarke’s just been going through a bit of a hard time recently”

 

“It sounds like it” The brunette placed her hand on the back of her neck, pausing as she remembered Clarke’s comments earlier that day and dropping it down to her side again “If you don’t mind me asking, why does she want a transfer to UCLA so badly?”

 

“Her father went to UCLA, I think she wants to finish her masters there to feel a little closer to him” Abby said with a nod and a quiet chuckle “She has a hard head that girl”

 

“I can understand that, I do too” Lexa replied, a sad smile playing on her face too “I’m finishing up medical school on the UCLA campus”

 

“She mentioned that” Abby responded as she left the storage room, Lexa following once more “I just don’t want her going there and realising that maybe it’s a bit too much for her. She’s strong and she is braver than I ever was when I was her age but I just don’t want her to get there and realise that she’s given up a lot to get there”

 

“By given up, do you mean Finn?”

 

“You caught that, huh?” Abby asked as she paused to glance at the younger girl “She and Finn have been a great couple, he’s been there for her when she needed it but I don’t know whether they have outgrown each other or whether this is just something they are going through but I don’t think they’re going to survive if she goes to UCLA and he can’t transfer there”

 

“I’m sure they’ll be fine” Lexa offered, feeling terrible for lying through her teeth and feeling her stomach turn as she said the exact opposite to what she was thinking and hoping; knowing it was terrible for her to be hoping for such a thing

 

“I really like Finn so I hope it’s just something they are going through right now” Abby nodded “He’s been really great for her”

 

“Good” The brunette muttered

 

“Abby” The two women heard, glancing to Gustus to was pointing to the door of the mess hall

 

Lexa paused instantly as her eyes followed Gustus’ point of attention, seeing an upset Clarke by the door who was clearly looking for her mother. One hand wiping her eyes roughly, her hands shaking slightly and her sad expression was enough to make Lexa’s chest want to ache. Clarke paused as she noticed Lexa standing next to her mom, visibly sighing as their eyes locked momentarily before the brunette broke their eye contact to turn to Abby.

 

“I’ll finish getting the beanbags” Lexa offered as she took a step towards the front of the mess hall

 

“Are you sure?” Abby asked glancing towards Lexa before her eyes focussed on her daughter again

 

“Yeah, you go” Lexa replied with a nod, looking at Clarke one more time before she gave her a sympathetic smile and continued to walk to the front of the large hall

 

\---

 

She knew she wouldn’t be able to think about anything else but what she had seen when she was talking with Abby in the mess hall, she knew for the rest of the night her thoughts would be stuck on Clarke just like the had been the entire day. She was concerned for the younger girl, she was clearly upset and Lexa didn’t know why; only hoping that her mom managed to help her with whatever she was struggling with. Lexa sighed in frustration as she looked at herself in the mirror of the shared bathroom after finishing brushing her teeth, leaning closely into her reflection to take note of her tired expression. Her mind hadn’t stopped since she had seen Clarke, Anya unwilling to mention why the blonde was upset after their night out; leading her to almost believe that it could have had something to do with her relationship with Finn seeing as that was the thing that seemed to be bothering the younger girl.

 

Lexa jumped slightly, being startled by the sudden loud noise of the door opening quickly and shutting forcefully; turning her head to see Clarke standing with her back against her door and her eyes closed firmly. Lexa paused, just watching the blonde who was breathing deeply; even without seeing her eyes Lexa could see that Clarke was still reasonably upset and also very unaware that anyone else was in the bathroom.

 

“Don’t freak out, but I’m in here” Lexa said slowly, her voice so quiet that the sound struggled to break through even the silence of the room; Clarke’s eyes shooting open to settle on the brunette who stayed frozen in her position in front of the mirror

 

“I thought it was empty”

 

“I know, I was just leaving” Lexa responded instantly, taking a step back from the mirror and eyeing Clarke cautiously “You can have the bathroom to yourself”

 

“You don’t have to leave because of me, it’s a shared bathroom after all” Clarke reasoned quietly, keeping her back firmly pressed against the door “I just needed a second, I came to wash my face”

 

“How was the bar?” Lexa asked, cringing at her question that she had asked without even thinking; clearly seeing that Clarke had come back upset from the very same place “Obviously it was no strip club”

 

Clarke kept her eyes on Lexa for a moment until a smile broke through her otherwise sad expression and a quiet but melodic laugh left her lips, only encouraging the brunette to want to witness it more often

 

“No, it was no strip club” Clarke replied through a small smile, her voice thick before shaking her head and sighing heavily “Are you feeling better?”

 

“Yeah”

 

“You weren’t sick, were you?” Clarke asked quickly, the blue of her eyes almost swallowing Lexa whole and forcing the older girl to remind herself that she needed to find some kind of self control and sanity in front of the blonde

 

“Uh no” Lexa muttered with a shake of her head, placing her toothbrush down on the edge of the sink “But I’m pretty tired, sitting in the sun kind of takes it out of me anyway so I wouldn’t have been much fun anyway”

 

“I’m kind of glad you didn’t come out” Clarke replied before continuing quickly “I mean it would have been awesome to have you out with us but it kind of turned into a disaster. Then I came back here like a complete baby needing to talk to my mom. I didn’t think you’d be there for movie night”

 

“I wasn’t planning on it but there wasn’t much else to do” Lexa shrugged as she kept her eyes locked on the other girl “I didn’t have a little blonde beside me though this time”

 

“You remembered that, huh?”

 

“Of course” The medical student responded “Can I ask what happened?”

 

“It was nothing” Clarke replied with a shake of her head, finally pushing herself from the door and taking a few steps towards the brunette to mimic Lexa’s stance against the edge of the row of sinks, only a few feet away from each other “Embarrassing more than anything but the whole college thing kind of got brought up and obviously that’s a bit of a sore point at the moment with Finn and I. It’s just becoming pretty clear that maybe it’s becoming a little too difficult for us to want what we do individually and be together”

 

“Right” Lexa said with an understanding nod, trying to awkwardly change the subject “Well you didn’t miss much of a movie night, we watched a few Disney movies and I think the kids were about ready to go to bed before the second one even started”

 

“Zombie apocalypse will do that to you” Clarke answered playfully, her spirits lifting slightly before she sighed again “I promise I’m not usually such a mess or so dramatic, it’s just been a rough few months”

 

“That’s okay, I understand” Lexa waved the younger girl off “You should have seen me a few months ago, I was one angry woman”

 

“What you went through is worse than what I’m going through right now”

 

“People have different kinds of problems in their lives. We both lost someone in some way but you lost your father, I mean that has to be horrible and it’s something that I can’t imagine” Lexa offered quietly, ducking her head to hold Clarke’s gaze as it dropped slightly

 

“That was two years ago though” Clarke countered

 

“Yeah but you can’t really put a time limit on going through something like that” Lexa replied with a small sigh “I mean I think your mom is a little worried about you too”

 

“She spoke to you about my dad?”

 

“It kind of just came up” Lexa admitted with a nod “But we don’t need to talk about that anyway”

 

“My mom just worries…a lot. She still thinks I’m still a kid but she doesn’t realise that I’m almost 24, I’m not a kid anymore and I’m not going to UCLA on a whim; I want to do this for a reason” Clarke said with a frustrated tone, running her hand through her hair and shaking her head “She just thinks I’ve all of a sudden made up my mind to move without thinking about it”

 

“Hey, at least she cares enough to worry” Lexa said truthfully with her eyebrows raised “Your mom is awesome”

 

“I know she just has to realise that I’m old enough and sensible enough to make my own decisions” Clarke continued, venting her frustration “But you don’t need to hear about that, you must think I’m such a basket case by now”

 

“I don’t” Lexa answered without missing a beat “I just mean that your mom cares so she just wants the best for you. You can’t really be mad at her for that”

 

“She can just be really…intense” Clarke spoke as she turned to look at herself in the mirror, her hands resting on the sink in front of her; almost in the exact position Lexa had been earlier

 

“Maybe but at least she bothers to care” Lexa said with a sigh as she internally debated inputting her own thoughts into the situation “My parents used to drop me here every summer and go on an overseas holiday without me. They were never home whenever I was and they don’t know the first thing about my life so it’s great that your mom is so involved. I mean your mom seems pretty supportive of you wanting to move to California, my parents gave me an ultimatum”

 

“An ultimatum?” Clarke asked as her eyes dropped to the sink below her, Lexa’s eyes focused intently on the younger girl as she stood a few feet away from her

 

“They gave me two options; they told me that I could either stay in Colorado, stay at home and all my expenses would be covered or I could go to UCLA and have to pay everything on my own” Lexa explained briefly, her voice quietening slightly “It doesn’t bother me that they didn’t give me money, I wasn’t expecting handouts and it’s taught me to work hard but they didn’t even want to hear my reasoning for wanting to leave Colorado. I’m fairly sure they probably think I’m still with Costia and that I just took a year off to go to Europe because that’s how much interest they take”

 

“So that’s your story for another day?” Clarke asked, glancing sideways to catch Lexa’s gaze on her “That’s what you wouldn’t tell me about when we were talking about you needing a job?”

 

“There isn’t really much to tell but it’s just nice that your mom cares so much. I had to do a few things for myself like move to California and even go to Europe to get away from everything; which they just didn’t understand so they kind of just cut me off”

 

“So if you would have stayed, they would have paid for everything?” Clarke questioned with wide eyes

 

“They would pay for everything if I transferred back right now and I would be debt free but I don’t want to because I feel like it’s a step backwards” Lexa responded seriously

 

“So why did you feel the need to leave Colorado so much?” Clarke asked cautiously, turning her body to face Lexa’s and taking a subtle step towards the other girl, which didn’t go unnoticed by the brunette “I want to hear your reasoning even if they didn’t”

 

“Why?” Lexa raised an eyebrow and shaking her head quickly

 

“Because you should have been able to tell your parents this and I want to know”

 

“I wanted a fresh start and I wanted to go somewhere that I could start again, I didn’t want to have my awkward younger self hanging over my head and I didn’t want to be reminded of anything about this place” Lexa responded a little too quickly for her own liking “I was relentlessly teased and bullied throughout my whole schooling life until I went to college where it just didn’t matter what my sexuality was or who my parents were and how much money they had. I wanted to do it for myself and whether I fail or succeed is completely on me”

 

“Did you get it?” Clarke asked, her voice hanging just above a whisper “Did you get your fresh start?”

 

“Yeah”

 

“I want to go to UCLA because my dad graduated from there, it sounds stupid but I just want to feel a little closer to him” Clarke reasoned quietly as Lexa took a step forward without her even realising what she was doing, standing only inches from the blonde before registering where she was

 

“It’s not stupid” Lexa muttered as her eyes flickered to Clarke’s lips, internally groaning because she knew exactly what was going to happen and she felt as if she was completely unable to stop it “I think that’s nice”

 

She knew that Clarke was going to kiss her but she let it happen, which worried her to no end because she had always promised herself that she would never be that person who made a move on someone in a relationship. She couldn’t help herself with Clarke though as she found herself taking the lead that time and shifting herself so she could pin Clarke against the sink with her hips as soon as the blonde initiated contact. This kiss was certainly more aggressive than the first, Lexa grasping at Clarke’s sides and feeling the blonde pull at the back of her shirt tightly; hearing a small sound leave the other girl’s mouth as their lips moved. Teeth scrapped lips as Lexa pressed her body further into the blonde, feeling Clarke sucking on her bottom lip firmly; making the brunette feel a wave of chills rip through her spine. She didn’t understand how something she was so against could feel so right with someone, she didn’t understand how a simple kiss could make her body feel as if it was going to overheat and explode because she had never felt like that kissing anyone before. She cursed herself internally as she broke from the kiss, taking a step backwards so big that her back hit the stalls of one of the showers, startling her further as she looked at Clarke with wide eyes.

 

The blonde stood where she had been, her hands grasping the side of the sink behind her so tightly that her knuckles were white with the pressure she was applying. Her eyes were closed forcefully as she swallowed thickly, gathering herself before exhaling shakily and opening her them to see the startled brunette. Lexa felt an anger inside of her begin to boil to the surface, she was angry that Clarke had the ability to make her feel the way she did; not only that but she felt as if Clarke had no right to do so considering she was already in a relationship.

 

“I’m sorry” Clarke replied weakly “I can’t…I didn’t mean for that to happen”

 

“But it did” Lexa said with a painful expression, the only thing she could think about was how much she just wanted to pin Clarke up against the bathroom sink once more and kiss her with more enthusiasm than she thought was possible to muster at that hour but knew what she was thinking was completely wrong “You kissed me again, it happened again”

 

“You kissed me back” Clarke responded feebly, as if trying to find some reasoning in her actions “I don’t know why I did that…I mean I completely do but I can’t do that”

 

“No, we can’t do that” Lexa muttered as she clenched her jaw “I did kiss you back and I shouldn’t have”

 

“But you did”

 

“Clarke we can’t keep doing this. We can’t go back and forth, we can’t kiss each other and pretend nothing happened only for it to just happen again. You’re in a relationship and I won’t be someone who you just use to make yourself feel better about what is going on” Lexa said quietly, her eyes dropping to her shoes; hearing Clarke take a step forwards which only caused her to press her back further into the shower stall door

 

“That’s not what this is” Clarke replied earnestly, firming her expression to try and convey her sincerity “I’m not using you”

 

“Then what is this?” Lexa raised her eyebrows whilst gesturing between them both “What is going on here?”

 

“I don’t know” Clarke shook her head, placing her hand on her forehead “God, I have no idea”

 

“I’m not doing this, Clarke” The brunette said as she took a few steps towards Clarke, only to bypass her on the way to the door “Finn is a great guy and I’m just here to work. Once was a mistake, twice just means we both know it was wrong the first time but we did it again anyway”

 

“I’m sorry” Clarke repeated almost silently as she turned to face Lexa who was standing only a few feet away from the door “I’m not trying to use you just to make myself feel better or distract myself”

 

“It might be easy for you just to forget or ignore whatever this is but it’s not for me” Lexa admitted angrily, shaking her head as she paused to take in Clarke’s pained expression before she pushed against the door of the bathroom and taking a few steps towards her cabin before feeling a hand on her forearm “Clarke, just leave me be”

 

“Are you okay?” She found Raven standing in front of her with a cocked eyebrow and a frown “Is Clarke in there?”

 

“She came in to wash her face, I was just leaving”

 

“You okay there?” Raven asked as she observed Lexa’s chest as it heaved, the medical student trying to process the many different reactions she was feeling at the one time “You look as if you just murdered someone but now feel really bad about it but you’re also sad about who you murdered”

 

“Everyone’s still alive” Lexa shook her head, swallowing thickly “It’s fine, everything is fine”

 

“Is Clarke fine?” Raven questioned

 

“She’s fine” Lexa nodded before taking her arm from Raven’s gentle grip and backing away “Maybe just check on her though, see if she is okay”

 

“You just said she was fine” Raven said incredulously “What is going on?”

 

“If you figure it out, feel free to tell me”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, thoughts? 
> 
> If you've watched FTWD yet, did you like it? I loved it, I thought it was exactly what they said it would be and it's making me want to write the lead me home sequel right now :P 
> 
> I will update before the end of the week


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comments on the last chapter, I love hearing what you have to say so please keep them coming!

The sun was warm on Lexa’s face as she kneeled at the edge of the boardwalk, her eyebrows creased as she bit her lip gently in concentration whilst trying to secure the last kayak with the others. She slipped out to the lake early that morning before breakfast so she could have some peace and quiet to herself for an hour or two as the sun rose. Her stomach rumbled in anger, unappreciative of her skipping the most important meal of the day but Lexa felt too awkward to go into the mess hall with the rest of Camp Jaha. She had busied herself with a few things that she had been avoiding; cleaning all the kayaks from front to back so the kids could use them that morning. It had been 5 days since Lexa and Clarke had kissed, it was painfully obvious to those around them that something awkward had happened between the two but no one dared to mention it to either of them. 

 

The brunette didn’t sit with Clarke’s friend’s like she usually would for meals, making sure to sit on the completely opposite side of the mess hall whenever possible. If she saw the Blonde coming she would walk the other way, she would only use the showers when she knew Clarke had already been and kept herself well away from the blonde when they were doing group activities that forced them to work near each other. She stayed out of Clarke’s way and the blonde seemingly stayed out of Lexa’s way, not wanting to cause any trouble with the other girl for now. 

 

Lexa was beyond frustrated to say the very least. She liked Clarke, she had found herself completely drawn to the blonde but she felt as if what was going on between herself and the other girl was motived by Clarke’s unhappiness in her own relationship. She knew that some parts of Clarke’s feelings for her were real but she wasn’t sure just how much the other girl had thought about her actions and what they would mean to Finn if he found out. She groaned outwardly as she thought about the fact that she undeniably had feelings for another girl who was in a relationship with a guy, a great guy at that and the absolute pain she was causing herself for allowing her feelings to have developed. 

 

She looked down to her watch after securing the rope, expecting a group to come down to the lake to use the newly cleaned kayaks in only a few minutes; knowing she would be questioned by Raven when she arrived being her group that she was waiting for. Clarke’s friends had tried to talk to her but she would give them no answers, she didn’t have any answers because she herself had no idea what was going on in the blonde’s mind.

 

She stood up straight; wiping her hands on her shorts as she turned around to see the group of campers she was expecting making their way down the path towards the edge of the lake. Lexa took a few steps towards the start of the boardwalk and pausing when she saw Clarke walking at the back of the group next to Raven; deep in conversation as they followed the campers. The brunette’s eyes widened slightly, Clarke had a steeled look on her face and a determination she had only seen when they were younger as she played competitive games or camp challenges. She moved her hand to touch her neck, only to stop with her hand up by her chest as she remembered how Clarke had completely identified it as a nervous tick. Clarke’s eyes locked on Lexa, the blonde’s expression softening instantly before she turned to her friend once more who was glancing between the two as they walked. 

 

Lexa didn’t move from the boardwalk as the group arrived at the edge of the lake, feeling as if her feet were glued to the wood below her. Her hands were clasped in front of her and her shoulders slumped slightly as Raven pushed through her group to make her way to Lexa; pausing in front of her and waving her hand in front of the medical student’s face as she turned her attention to her shoes.

 

“So what are the chances of these sinking with kids in the them?” Raven asked jokingly as she dropped her hand from Lexa’s face once her gaze shifted to the kayaks, “and do you think you should be on duty not being able to pay attention to someone who is literally inches away from you.” 

 

“I don’t actually have to supervise anyone until this afternoon,” Lexa spoke quickly with a shake of her head, glancing over Raven’s shoulder to see Clarke who was standing at the back of the group, “Clarke isn’t a part of your cabin group, I don’t have a kayak for her.” 

 

“She’s not here to kayak,” Raven shrugged nonchalantly, “she wants to talk to you.” 

 

“Right,” Lexa furrowed her eyebrows, “and your kids aren’t going to sink in the kayaks. I have 10 there and they’ve all been cleaned this morning.” 

 

“Whatever weird thing is happening between you two right now, you should fix it,” Raven said with a sigh, “she actually likes you and honestly I think you are kind of opening her eyes a little.”

 

“I don’t need to open her eyes, that’s not my job,” Lexa grumbled, taking a step backwards, “I’m not here to open her eyes or to be the reason she figures whatever she needs to out, I’m not here to be used.”

 

“You’re not being used,” Raven replied instantly with a shake of her head, “I don’t know all of what is going on but I think you just need to hear her out.” 

 

“Well, thank you for your input there,” Lexa brushed aside Raven’s comments quickly, “anything else?”

 

“Is Anya single?”

 

“What?” Lexa cocked an eyebrow, her attention completely grabbed by the girl in front of her, “Is she single?” 

 

Raven scuffed her shoe against the boardwalk lightly as she spoke to the medical student. “Yeah, you know…just wondering for future reference. She was kind of cool when we went out the other night and I just wanted to know” 

 

“She is,” Lexa replied slowly, “do you…are you asking because you’re interested?”

 

“I’m just asking. We’re all single except for Lincoln, Octavia, Clarke and Finn,” Raven responded indifferently, “anyway, we’ll get on our kayaks and be on our way so you can brood silently again.”

 

“Yeah okay,” Lexa responded with a nod, “You’re back in an hour, right?” 

 

“If all goes to plan,” Raven said, looking over her shoulder to signal for her campers to come down the boardwalk with their newly acquired life jackets, “I hope to return them all in one piece.” 

 

Lexa helped the campers get into their kayaks, watching the group as they pushed off to start their small adventure on the lake as she tried to calm herself knowing that Clarke was at the edge of the lake waiting for her to come back so they could talk. She looked up to the blue sky above her very quickly before pushing her hands into her back pockets and turning on her heel to walk to the blonde who had her arms folded loosely against her body. Lexa stopped directly in front of the younger girl, eyeing her cautiously as she stood her ground firmly and giving the brunette the smallest of smiles. 

 

“You weren’t at breakfast this morning.” Clarke observed awkwardly as she took a step towards Lexa.

 

“I wasn’t hungry.” 

 

“So I owe you an apology,” Clarke started with a tired tone, her voice just above a whisper, as she spoke reluctantly, “I shouldn’t have let myself get carried away like that the other night Stupidly I was upset but I promise I had no idea you were in the bathroom and I certainly didn’t plan on kissing you.” 

 

Lexa didn’t say anything, her eyebrows creased further in confusion as she looked towards the blonde, sighing quietly as her lips pursed in frustration. She waited for Clarke to continue talking, the blonde taking the silence as a queue for her to speak once more; the brunette eyeing the younger girl intently. 

 

“Finn and I were speaking about LA that night and things just kind of got bad, it kind of got obvious that the two of us were heading into different directions if I do to go LA,” Clarke continued, Lexa dropping her eyes to her feet with a small shake of her head; being unimpressed by the younger girl’s reasoning, “which again, I know isn’t your problem and it shouldn’t spill over to affect you.” 

 

“No, it shouldn’t,” Lexa muttered with a nod, her gaze still holding the floor “It’s not fair on either of us.” 

 

“You’re right,” Clarke said quickly but calmly, “and I know it doesn’t count for much but I wasn’t using you.”

 

“It doesn’t really count for much.” Lexa responded with a bitter chuckle as she looked back up to Clarke who had a pained expression on her face; wavering the brunette’s resolve as she looked at the vulnerable girl in front of her. 

 

“It won’t happen again though.”

 

“You said that last time,” Lexa quipped with a shake of her head before exhaling deeply, “It’s fine, Clarke. I’m a big girl, I can handle the truth but I don’t want to be the one who gets used when you and Finn are having problems or whatever. If that’s what it is then just say it how it is, it’s easier that way.” 

 

“I wasn’t using you, I care about you Lexa. Whether you admit that to yourself or not is up to you but you know I do,” Clarke said taking a step towards the brunette, who to both of their surprise, stayed in her place as her eyes darted between the two blue orbs, “and I don’t want you to shut me out, I mean we just started getting to know each other again and that would be such a waste of us seeing each other again.” 

 

“I have a lot to do around here, I don’t have time to talk,” Lexa muttered after a moment’s pause between the two girls, “so you should go.” 

 

“See, you’re shutting me out.” 

 

“Does it matter?” Lexa muttered in an irritated tone.

 

“It doesn’t take me being a psychologist to figure out that it does.” Clarke countered instantly.

 

“What more is there to say? You care about me, that’s great but you kissed me twice when you have a boyfriend,” Lexa said in exasperation, her levels of frustration only growing, “do you know how confusing that is? How difficult it is for me to process that? Did you maybe think that I kissed you back because I felt something when it happened? Did you maybe think how wrong I know that is because I was cheated on by Costia and I know what it feels like to be where Finn is?” 

 

“It’s not like I didn’t feel anything either though,” The blonde protested quietly, “It’s not like I just go around kissing people for the sake of it, I didn’t do it because I just felt like kissing someone.” 

 

“I have a lot to do,” Lexa grumbled once more, “please.” 

 

“Okay but you can’t just keep putting up those walls whenever someone tries to talk to you. You can’t always do that.” 

 

“Yes, I can.” Lexa quipped in a low tone, lifting her chin slightly as she spoke.

 

“You know, you’re even more closed off than you were before you left here the first time” Clarke shook her head, taking a step backwards before she turned on her heel to begin her walk back up to camp. 

 

Lexa groaned to herself in frustration, covering her eyes as she looked up to the sky above her before yanking them back to her side and turning to face the lake. She knew she shouldn’t have just admitted to Clarke what she did, she knew she shouldn’t have said what she did in the heat of the moment and ironically Clarke thought Lexa was putting up walls when she was telling her exactly how she felt. She felt stuck, she felt caught between wanting to be completely angry at the blonde and wanting to kiss her again; knowing that somehow Clarke had the ability to make her feel all of that at once. She clenched hands into a fist, knowing that it was her own fault for her feelings and she could blame no one but herself.

 

“Lexa.” She heard her name called only five minutes later, turning her head to see Finn making his way down to the lake with a look of indifference on his face.

 

“Oh great,” Lexa sighed quietly, pushing herself up quickly from the boardwalk and making her way to the equipment cabin where Finn had stopped, “hey Finn.”

 

“Hey,” Finn said with the smallest of smiles, “I just need to take a few life jackets from the cabin for a demonstration later if that’s cool?”

 

“Uh yeah, take whatever you want,” Lexa spoke awkwardly, studying Finn’s expression and wishing she could read what the boy’s body language was telling her, “how many do you need?”

 

“I need five, if you don’t have enough then I can just take whatever you can spare,” Finn shrugged as he opened the door to the cabin, leaving Lexa’s sight but his voice continued to carry through to the outside, “but I had to let you know just in case you needed them. I think it might be more important to have enough for campers than for a demonstration in the mess hall by the instructors.”

 

“You’re probably right.” Lexa swallowed thickly as her stomach churned, looking at Finn and knowing that she had been in his shoes before; knowing that she had kissed his girlfriend twice and something was going on between them that she wanted to fight but she wasn’t sure she was strong enough to do so. 

 

“Can I ask you something?” Finn asked as he emerged from the cabin once more with five life jackets looped around his arm, setting them down to close the cabin door once more and stand with his hands on his hips, “It’s about Clarke.”

 

“Abou…what do you need to talk about?” Lexa stumbled over her words, figuring that Finn was going to either berate her or completely break down in front of her if he knew what she thought he might, “what about Clarke?”

 

“Has she spoken to you about UCLA?” Finn asked quietly, running a hand through his hair, “I just thought she might talk to you about it because you go there and you two seem to get along really well.” 

 

“We don’t get along that well,” Lexa scrambled to say, “we’re friends, kind of. It’s been a really long time since we saw each other.”

 

“She just thinks a lot of you and I thought she might have said something to you,” Finn responded casually, standing there with a sad smile on his face as Lexa squirmed under his gaze unknowingly, “I know she wants to go to UCLA but I didn’t get the transfer and I just want to know if I’m standing in the way of her going.”

 

“Finn I don’t really think it’s for me to say,” Lexa said shakily, waiting for the ground to swallow her whole, “I think you two need to talk about it and I don’t want to get involved.”

 

“No, you’re right,” Finn agreed as he nodded, “you’re right, I shouldn’t put you in this position and I shouldn’t have asked.”

 

“It’s okay.” Lexa replied quickly with her hands out in front of her with her palms facing Finn. 

 

“I just…things aren’t the best with us and they haven’t been for a little while so I don’t want her staying because of me but if there is a chance we can stay together then I want to take it, you know?” Finn asked as he voiced his thoughts aloud before pausing with a sigh, picking up the life jackets again to leave, “sorry.”

 

“It’s fine.” Lexa muttered, clenching her jaw to keep anything further from leaving her mouth.

 

She had so many things to say at once; she wanted to tell Finn that he shouldn’t stand in the way of her doing something that she clearly wanted to but she didn’t know whether that was because she actually thought that or because she wanted Clarke to move to LA. She didn’t know if it was because she was being selfish and wanted Clarke to be out of this messy situation so she could have a fair chance with the blonde but that wasn’t what she was going to do. Clarke was with Finn and Lexa couldn’t allow herself to feel like she was anymore, she couldn’t risk people finding out and she couldn’t expect to be around the girl like she had been and expect anything different to what had already happened. She might have blamed Clarke for the kiss but she knew she had to take equal responsibility with whatever was going on.

 

She waited impatiently for the hour for Raven and her group to come back, accounting for all of equipment after they had left before rushing up to the Anya’s drama room where she had her group of campers working on props for the end of camp production. An hour alone with her own thoughts gave her enough reasoning to go speak to her friend about something her mind continued to loop back to the entire time. Lexa knocked on the door loudly, Anya sitting on the top of a bench in the side of the room; jumping off as soon as she saw the bothered face of her younger friend. Anya excused herself to her group of campers before walking outside the cabin, Lexa moving out to the single step with her hands linked as they rested on the top of her head. 

 

“What’s going on?” Anya asked with raised eyebrows, confused with Lexa’s conflicted expression.

 

“I’ve just been thinking,” Lexa replied with a small shake of her head, her face scrunched in thought, “would you leave here if I did?”

 

“Well you’re my ride out of here so I would probably have to but I’m kind of getting to like this place,” Anya said with a shrug “and the people here are pretty great as well.” 

 

“So you’re suddenly a fan of this place?” Lexa asked, dropping her hands to her sides roughly. 

 

“Not suddenly, it’s grown on me,” Anya shrugged, a small smile crossing her face, “why are you asking me that? You want to leave?” 

 

“I don’t know,” Lexa replied with a shake of her head, “I mean I guess this place isn’t as bad as I remember it but things are just a little…awkward.” 

 

“I thought you and Clarke talked about it,” Anya said as she glanced back inside the cabin, “you’re obviously wanting to leave because of her?” 

 

“I don’t want to leave because of her,” Lexa corrected her friend quickly, “I want to leave because of the situation, it’s awkward. Finn just came down to talk to me and I couldn’t even look at him without feeling sick, it was horrible.” 

 

“Okay, yeah it is a bit awkward and that’s on you but no one else knows that you kissed once. Can’t you guys just talk again and go back to being friends?” Anya asked shaking her head, “I mean how difficult can it be?” 

 

“We didn’t kiss just once…” Lexa regretfully admitted, shutting her eyes tightly knowing that she was about to be scolded by her friend. 

 

“God, Lexa!” Anya hissed quietly in a tone that was dripping of frustration, “how many times?”

 

“Just twice,” Lexa replied with a shake of her head, almost flinching as she opened her eyes to see the angry expression on Anya’s face, “It happened last week when you guys came back from your night out.”

 

“I probably should have figured that out,” Anya sighed as she glanced around them, making sure to not speak to loudly, “so what, you kissed and then what happened?”

 

“Nothing,” Lexa responded taking a small step into her friend, “nothing, I got mad because she was just using me to deal her issues with Finn.”

 

“As much as I don’t want to encourage anything, I think we both know that she wouldn’t be using you,” Anya said seriously with a hushed tone, “I don’t care that she kissed you, I don’t care that you like her more than you’ll admit aloud because I know you totally do; I only care about the fact that she has a boyfriend and they are clearly dealing with something right now. I just don’t want you caught in the middle of it like I think you already are.”

 

“I’m not caught in the middle,” Lexa replied with her hands raised in defence, “I have hardly talked to her for a majority of the time we have been here because of this.”

 

“Which sounds like it’s probably for the best.” 

 

“Clarke seemed to think it was a waste,” Lexa muttered simply, pinching the bridge of her nose momentarily, “maybe it is a waste but honestly I don’t know if I want to deal with all of this after Costia.” 

 

“Wait, so you spoke to Clarke about it?”

 

“She tried to come down earlier but I didn’t want to talk about it with her.” Lexa admitted reluctantly.

 

“Well you did get yourself into this situation,” Anya said unsympathetically, her lips pursed before her shoulders dropped slightly, “but this is nothing like what happened with Costia, Clarke is nothing like Costia.” 

 

“I’m not saying she is but she has a boyfriend and she cheated on him with me, which I hate. It just seems like she knows she can get comfort out of me so she comes to me when she is sad to try and distract herself.”

 

“I can’t believe I am saying this but have you let her come to you at any other time? Like you have been shutting her off completely for the last few weeks but before this whole thing happened, weren’t you two talking about a lot that had nothing to do with Finn and their problems?” Anya questioned seriously, “because honestly, I don’t think Clarke is trying to distract herself around you. I mean maybe she is but I don’t think she is doing it with any other motive than wanting to talk to you.” 

 

“And here I was thinking you were going to chew my head off.” Lexa furrowed her eyebrows in bewilderment. 

 

“Oh I was and I probably still will because I hate what situation you have gotten yourself in but clearly you are angry enough at yourself for the both of us. The only reason I’m angry here is because no one wins in this situation. Finn gets hurt because he is being cheated on, you get hurt because you were cheated on yourself and being the guilty party would eat you alive if this went any further and Clarke would feel horrible for hurting either of her,” Anya explained with a frown, “so you want to leave?”

 

“I know that Clarke and Finn are having problems, I don’t want to be another one of those problems and I certainly don’t want Finn to find out that I kissed his girlfriend.” 

 

“But you did,” Anya replied objectively, trying to explain to Lexa the situation from a completely objective standpoint, “you kissed his girlfriend and if he finds out then you have to deal with that.”

 

“She kissed me.” Lexa corrected her friend instantly with a firm voice.

 

“Yeah but you kissed her back no doubt. You like the girl, I can see why but that isn’t the point.” Anya pointed out once more with a sigh.

 

“I know,” Lexa said with a quick nod, taking a step backwards, “I have a little time before a group comes down to the lake, I might go see if I can find Abby and talk to her about what would have to happen if we left.”

 

“Are you sure?” Anya questioned cautiously. 

 

“I just want to find out,” Lexa nodded once more, her friend giving her a sad smile before the medical student turned and walked away with her hands stuffed deep within her pockets as she slowly walked to the camp office. 

 

Once she arrived she knocked twice quietly on the door of the Abby’s office, standing awkwardly whilst waiting patiently for the owner of Camp Jaha. She considered not going to go see Abby, she didn’t really want to leave only a few weeks into camp because she knew that it would leave them short and Abby had been nothing but kind to her. Then she thought about the awkwardness and discomfort she felt knowing that she very well could have been just another reason for Clarke and Finn to be at odds; admitting her adoration for the girl was growing despite herself. Lexa had feelings for Clarke, she wasn’t sure what exactly they were developing into and how deep she was just yet but she had a fair idea that the blonde had always meant something to her deep down and she just couldn’t identify it. She took a step backwards from the door, almost turning to walk away before being faced with the very girl she had just been thinking of; the same one she had been avoiding at all costs until that morning.

 

“Lexa?” Clarke said with a furrowed brow, “what are you doing here?”

 

“I’m looking for your mom,” Lexa responded immediately, her tone as surprised as Clarke’s, “what are you doing in here?” 

 

“She needed some help with some bookwork so I said I would do it for her while she was out organising the camp out under the stars for tomorrow night,” Clarke replied with a shrug, her eyes taking in the concerned look on the brunette’s face, “why are you looking for my mom?” 

 

“I just need to talk to her,” Lexa said dismissively, her resolve slowly fading as she looked at the blonde and figuring out at that point just how deep she had gotten herself, “I’m thinking about leaving.” 

 

“You’re thinking about leaving?” Clarke asked cocking an eyebrow and shaking her head before reaching out to grab Lexa’s wrist, pulling her inside the cabin and closing the door, “what do you mean you’re thinking of leaving?”

 

“I’m thinking of leaving camp,” Lexa replied swiftly being as honest as she felt she could in the situation, “but that’s something I need to speak to your mom about.” 

 

“You can speak to me about it too,” Clarke said seriously, letting go of Lexa’s wrist after the touch lingered momentarily, “I’m head camp councillor, if you’re having problems you should actually talk to me.” 

 

“You know I can’t talk to you about this.” 

 

“So it’s about me then.” Clarke confirmed, resting her head back against the door as Lexa took a few quick strides to the other side of the room in order to separate their bodies. 

 

“It’s not about you, I don’t want to leave because of you,” Lexa mumbled almost inaudibly, “If it were just you, I would be staying.” 

 

“You’re leaving because of Finn?” Clarke probed, her voice scratching against her throat. 

 

“No.” Lexa responded without missing a beat. 

 

“So why are you leaving then?” 

 

“Because of the entire situation and I think you already know that. You have a boyfriend, we kissed twice and I’m not convinced if I stay that it wouldn’t happen again,” Lexa admitted in complete honesty, her voice hushed as she looked at the other girl intently, “I do care about you Clarke, I just don’t want to be a reason for you and Finn to have more problems than you already are dealing with. I don’t want to be that girl that causes someone to get hurt, I know what that’s like and I don’t want to be the bad guy.” 

 

“You’re not,” Clarke pushed off the door to take a step towards Lexa who only had her hand out in front of her, wordlessly asking the other girl to stay put, “you said it yourself, you need the money after Europe.” 

 

“I do need the money but I only just got my mind back in a good place after Costia, I can’t deal with something as confusing as this again,” Lexa explained cautiously as she interlaced her fingers together as her hands rested in front of her, “I like you Clarke, you seem to be able to see through me like I’m made of glass but you’re with Finn and it’s just awkward now.” 

 

“So you can’t just be my friend?” 

 

“I want to be your friend, I really do because you really helped me a lot here and you do mean something to me whether I make that clear or not,” Lexa admitted honestly, her throat aching as she swallowed the large lump that was beginning to form, “I just wonder whether we can actually be friends without someone getting hurt; whether that be one of us, Finn or someone else.” 

 

“So you think it’s easier to just leave than try and deal with it?” Clarke challenged, Lexa seeing her expression slowly switching to one of irritation and her tone filling with defiance, “you would rather just leave than even try to see if we can just start over?”

 

“Clean slates don’t work.” Lexa said as she grimaced hearing herself speak, knowing it sounded so negative but unable to stop herself from speaking her truth

 

“They don’t work or they don’t work with you?” Clarke retorted irritably, her stance becoming somewhat defensive, “sometime, you’re going to have to actually face your problems instead of running away from them.” 

 

“My problems?” Lexa raised her eyebrows as her jaw clenched, feeling her face heat instantly, “I wanted to leave here to save you some trouble, so that you and Finn didn’t have something else added to your already growing list of problems you seem to have and that you seem to just keep ignoring.” 

 

“You want to leave here so you don’t have to deal with anything you know you’re feeling.” Clarke returned with just as much venom as when the brunette spoke.

 

“Why does it matter?” Lexa lifted her arms by her side to hold them out in front of her exasperatedly, “what does it matter what I’m feeling? What I’m feeling won’t make a difference to the situation. I don’t want to cause you trouble, I know what I’m feeling but it doesn’t matter because thinking about it is a dead end. I just think after you kissed me twice that it’s unfair for you to question why I want to leave.” 

 

“Lexa you run from things, you always have. You ran from Camp in the first place and didn’t come back, you ran from your parents to California and you ran to Europe from Costia. Leaving doesn’t always solve your problems, sometimes you have to talk with people and deal with it,” Clarke said lowly, Lexa feeling her heartbeat increase by the second as the blonde spoke, “sometimes you have to actually face things rather than run away.”

 

“At least I’m not afraid to be on my own or to stand on my own two feet. At least I’m not doing things because other people want me to,” Lexa snapped angrily, unable to stop herself even though she knew she was going to probably say something she would regret later, “You and Finn had a plan together and you’re both so desperate for that to work that that you’re hanging onto something that is clearly broken and you can’t handle it. You’re headed in separate directions, you said it yourself that you don’t even know yourself whether you need a change or not.”

 

“That doesn’t even matter because I’m probably staying in Texas now anyway,” Clarke countered, her words halting Lexa in her tracks who paused after the blonde had spoken, “I talked with Finn after I came and saw you because you were right, I shouldn’t have dragged you into my problems and I realised I should be trying to fix it rather than make things worse.” 

 

“So you’re giving up UCLA because of your relationship?” Lexa cocked an eyebrow, “you can’t pass up an opportunity because of someone else, because you are scared of change.” 

 

“You should listen to your own advice there and stay.” 

 

“What opportunity do I have here?” Lexa asked curiously with a shake of her head, folding her arms tightly to her chest. 

 

“The opportunity to give yourself and Camp Jaha a new start, to try and find some peace with the fact that you hated this place more than anything else for a majority of your life,” Clarke responded as her hard expression began to dissolve, pausing as she rubbed her forehead slowly, “I’m under a lot of pressure trying to keep so many people happy and I’m trying my best. Yes, Finn and I have had a plan for a while and yes maybe I am sacrificing something that I want but that’s how life is, Finn is a great guy and he deserves to be happy too. I want you to stay, for your sake I really think you need to stay so if you need to ignore me or hate me for the entire rest of the summer, then so be it”

 

“Yeah okay, so I ran away but to me I would rather run away for the sake of my happiness than try and make everyone else happy only to be miserable myself.” 

 

“I’m not miserable” Clarke retorted, her tone quietening. 

 

“Maybe you’re not but I would be if I were you based on what you’ve just told me. You want to go to UCLA for your dad? Then go, whoever is in your life that loves you should support that because that’s what you feel like you need to do right now. One day you’re going to have to start making decisions for your own happiness instead of everyone else’s,” Lexa replied seriously as she took a few strides towards Clarke, stopping directly in front of the other girl as her eyes locked on the blue orbs that were just inches away and catching herself glancing at her lips once more, “I might run but at least I’m not afraid to do what I need to in order to make myself happy because I think it’s a waste living your life and being unhappy whilst trying to make everyone else happy. I might be selfish but at least I’m satisfied with where my life is headed and it’s on my own terms.” 

 

Lexa didn’t say a word as she gently brushed passed Clarke to exit the office; leaving the younger girl to her own thoughts behind her as she placed her fingers lightly on the door-handle. She inhaled sharply, clenching her eyes closed as her head dipped towards the floor before letting out a slow exhale and looking at the door in front of her face. 

 

“Maybe you’re right, maybe I do run and maybe I shouldn’t this time,” Lexa croaked, the words the blonde had spoken hitting her like a ton of bricks, “but maybe you should do whatever makes you happy too, maybe you need to consider putting yourself first for once and figuring out what it is exactly that you want. Don’t sacrifice something you have worked hard for just because you want to keep other people happy, you’ll regret it and you won’t ever forgive yourself. If you want to stay in Texas and stay with Finn, then do that but make sure you’re doing it for yourself rather than anyone else.” 

 

The brunette opened the door quickly, only to close it behind her loudly as she exhaled deeply once more, her hand shaking beside her; squeezing her fingers together before walking away quickly from the camp office. Her heartbeat was racing and her cheeks were burning, her breathing was rushed as she moved let her legs as fast as they could carry her towards the lake. Only stopping their rushed paces until she reached the edge of the boardwalk, wondering whether it was far enough to separate herself from the conversation that had just occurred or seriously having to consider taking a kayak to the other side of the lake.

 

She felt guilty for saying what she did just like she knew she would; not regretting what she said but wishing she had the chance to say it on better terms. Lexa knew that Clarke was right, the brunette packed up and ran whenever she felt overwhelmed because that’s just what she did; it might not have been the right way to handle things but that’s what she did. That was why as soon as Clarke had mentioned it, Lexa threw the idea of leaving out of her pile of options; she would find a way to make it work and she would stay out the rest of her time at Camp Jaha because she now needed to prove to herself that she could do so. She needed to prove to herself that she didn’t need to run or hide to survive an awkward or uncomfortable situation, she was old enough to cope with what was put in front of her; knowing that she couldn’t always choose the flight option in life. 

 

\--- 

 

It was sunset and Lexa sat on the edge of the lake as she watched Bellamy, Jasper and Octavia’s cabin groups playing happily in the water, the tiniest of smiles reaching the corners of her mouth as she listened to their ridiculous conversations and shrieking laughter; enjoying the fact that they were at least having a good time at camp. Lincoln had come down with his group as well at a later stage of the afternoon, making the most out of the cool water on the warm summer’s day and Lexa watched on as the group of camp counsellors hung out in the lake to keep a close eye on the groups but to also keep cool themselves. She sighed to herself quietly for what had felt like the millionth time that day, wondering when she would have to face up to Clarke once more to actually talk to the girl rather than yell at each other. Their argument had been intense and Lexa wasn’t even sure why, she knew there were some pent up feelings between them both but other than that; the only thing Lexa could pinpoint was the fact that she cared about the blonde way too much to not let her know that she was blowing an opportunity if she made the mistake of staying in Texas just for a relationship. 

 

The blonde confused her to no end, it seemed like all she wanted to do was grab her by the waist and kiss her even though she knew she wasn’t allowed to. At the same time all she wanted to do was almost throttle the blonde for being so frustrated that she couldn’t handle it. Clarke was in many ways completely opposite to Lexa, always making decisions with her heart, something that Lexa always admired because she always tried to stick to her logic rather than what she felt was right. It was something that the medical student had noticed from the very first time they had met at camp; Clarke had gone against her better judgement to sit with Lexa even though she knew she would pay for it later and she did. She and the blonde were very similar in their head strong ways and she knew that was why they clashed sometimes; they were both stubborn and both believed that they were right more times than not. Knowing all of this though, she still found herself surprised as to just how drawn to the blonde she found herself; almost hypnotised when she spoke, practically staring at her whenever she was around and wanting to reach out and touch her on a constant basis. Clarke was steadily starting to seep into Lexa’s newly repaired heart, one thing she hadn’t admitted to Clarke and a part of why she wanted to leave Camp Jaha earlier that day. 

 

Somehow and someway the younger girl had managed to sneak her way into Lexa’s only just put back together heart, concerning her knowing that it could shatter at any second and that it would be even more difficult for her to repair it a second time. Lexa knew that Clarke wouldn’t intentionally hurt her; she knew deep down that Clarke was playing no games and was only doing what she usually did; using her heart instead of her head but it still concerned her that she didn’t see just what a thin line they were walking along. 

 

“You’re not going to come in?” Bellamy asked as he shook is hair out in front of Lexa with a grin, causing the brunette to grimace as the droplets of water hit her but she couldn’t help but chuckle quietly at the eldest Blake sibling. 

 

“I can’t really watch for people drowning if I am in the water,” Lexa responded as she returned her gaze out towards the lake when Bellamy sat himself down next to her with a quiet grunt, “this is really my only job at camp so I should probably do it.” 

 

“I was completely gunning for this job,” Bellamy admitted with a nod, Lexa glanced sideways to see a wide smile still on the boy’s face, “I think you’ve got it easy down here.”

 

“You do, huh?” 

 

“Completely,” Bellamy laughed, running a hand through his wet hair and shaking it out further, “you just have to make sure that no one is doing anything too dangerous and even then you have the group’s camps counsellor there.” 

 

“Yeah but if you’ve had to clean those kayaks out and those life jackets after they have been sitting in the same storage shed for a good part of twelve months, you would probably disagree,” Lexa joked weakly with a shake of her head, “why didn’t you ask for this job then?”

 

“I did but you’re qualified and Clarke thought you might want to do this more,” Bellamy shrugged nonchalantly, “next year though, that job is totally mine.”

 

“I won’t be here next year so that doesn’t bother me at all.” Lexa responded with a shrug of her own, her attention being drawn to a happy shriek that came from a camper in the water. 

 

“I figured that much. You know, I kind of pictured you differently but I guess that is my own fault for trying to picture you at all,” Bellamy admitted, leaning back with his hands holding up his weight behind him. 

 

“You pictured me differently?” Lexa knitted her eyebrows together, “how did you even picture me at all?”

 

“Clarke mentioned you and she talked a few times about you being here when you were both younger. She kind of painted a picture of someone who took crap from no one. She did mention you had some pretty curly hair and glasses though so that was obviously different.”

 

“That’s what it was like when I was a lot younger,” Lexa said unsurely with a shake of her head, “she told you that? She told you that I took crap from no one? I took crap from everyone and pretty much just hid from everyone when that happened.” 

 

“She might have meant something like that but my friend certainly has a biased opinion of you,” Bellamy responded, smiling widely, “she kind of sees that best in everyone though,” 

 

“I guess she does then.” Lexa mumbled to herself more than to the boy next to her.

 

“Clarke always says that she isn’t coming back here every year, she always says that each summer is her last one helping her mom out. I mean I don’t blame her but I think she’s serious about that if she goes to UCLA, it’ll be weird without her though,” Bellamy replied quickly, “It’ll be weird her not being in Texas with us though.” 

 

“Do you think she would actually go though?” Lexa questioned, knowing that Clarke was going to be staying in Texas after the argument she had just had with the blonde but not wanting to mention a thing to anyone else, “do you think she would actually leave?” 

 

“I think she’d be smart if she did,” Bellamy admitted after a quick pause ,“I definitely think it’s the best thing she could do for herself but I don’t know whether she actually will. I mean for all intents and purposes, she is going; she’s been accepted.”

 

“But?” 

 

“But if Finn can’t go then I don’t know what she’ll decide,” Bellamy said with a quiet sigh before he shrugged dramatically as a grin appeared on his face once more, “are you coming to the camp out under the stars tomorrow night?”

 

“I was planning on it”, Lexa replied, her lips pulling back into a broader smile as she remembered just how fond of the activity she was when she was younger, “It’s one of my favourite things about this place. I mean you hardly get any sleep, you wake up with dew on you and I’ll most likely be covered in bugs but it’s nice just being out under the stars.”

 

“Is Anya coming too?” 

 

“Yeah, why?” Lexa asked as she looked to Raven automatically who was watching them eagerly, looking away as Lexa caught her gaze, “did Raven ask you to come and ask if Anya is going tomorrow night?”

 

“No, I actually wanted to get out of the water but she did then ask me to find out,” Bellamy chuckled heartily, “I think your friend might have an admirer.” 

 

“She’s used to that,” Lexa rolled her eyes, “yeah, I think she is coming.”

 

“Well, Raven will be very happy about that,” Bellamy said as he pushed himself to his feet, taking a few steps towards the water, “I’m going back in, it’s too hot out here.” 

 

“Why do you think Clarke would be smart going to UCLA?” Lexa asked quickly, looking back up at Bellamy, “you think that’s the best move for her to make?” 

 

“She might be a psychology major but I don’t need to be doing that degree to see that she feels a little trapped at the moment. She wants to feel closer to her dad but she knows she can get more out of finishing her masters in LA than she would in Texas,” Bellamy replied simply, as if the complicated situation was nothing but easy to figure out, “She’s better off in LA, I just hope she figures that out.”

 

“Yeah.” Lexa muttered to herself as Bellamy turned on his heel to rush back towards the water, splashing all those around him as he arrived and leaving the brunette lingering on the thought that she hoped Clarke might figure out LA was actually the best option for her no matter how she looked at it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? 
> 
> Also, I know that I'm not the best writer and I'm not the best storyteller but I'm just trying to produce a bit of a fun story so I appreciate people being so positive towards me :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the love and kind words on the last chapter! I really appreciate every comment I get! 
> 
> I hope everyone has had a good weekend :)

The sound of laughter and chatter filled the air, smoke bellowing from the giant camp fire as Lexa sat at the back of the group of campers next to Raven and Anya. Lincoln and Octavia were cuddled up across from them with Jasper and Bellamy sitting next to the couple while Clarke noticeably absent from the group and camp out. Lexa hadn’t seen Clarke all day; in fact she hadn’t seen Clarke since the moment she walked out of Abby’s office, which troubled her a more than she wanted to admit to herself.

 

She spoke to Anya about her argument with Clarke, only to have her friend tell her that she thinks it would be best for her to just leave the blonde for now and let the younger girl approach her if she wanted to. Lexa didn’t want to have the confrontation hanging over her head, she didn’t want to remember how Clarke flinched when the brunette spoke her truth or how angry the younger girl was when she left that room. At the same time though, she didn’t know how to approach Clarke again after what had happened and she didn’t know if there was any point seeing as nothing had been resolved whatsoever, besides the fact that she realised that she couldn’t run away from the situation this time; she didn’t want to. Lexa wasn’t sure what it was but after reconnecting with Clarke, she realised that the younger girl was worth having in her life and although it came with numerous complications; she would try and make it work in whatever capacity.

 

She had spent the entire day on Lake Jaha, going with Octavia and her group kayaking because she didn’t want to just be hanging around alone all day, having a better time than she thought she would. After spending most of the day with Octavia and her group, she gave the kayaks a clean out; having a quick swim herself before overseeing the campers that came down to the lake for their free time. The kids were extremely well behaved, so well behaved that it almost shocked Lexa and made her feel terrible for the pre-camp judgement she made before she had even met any of them. Through all of that though, she had her mind completely tied up with Clarke Griffin, making her further frustrated knowing that she commanded so much attention without even trying.

 

Lexa spotted Abby joining the larger group of camp counsellors who were around the camp fire swapping stories with the campers, her face etched with worry and Lexa knew that was of course never a good sign. She looked around to see whether she could spot Clarke but couldn’t see the sight of the blonde nor her boyfriend whom had been missing since lunchtime. She felt an awkwardness overcome her, pushing herself down further against the log she was resting on and groaning inwardly just knowing that by that stage he probably knew about the kiss she had shared with his girlfriend.

 

“What’s going on over there?” Octavia asked, kicking Lexa’s shoe lightly with her own as she leaned back into Lincoln’s chest, “You look like you just remembered an old Camp Jaha story.”

 

“No,” Lexa replied without missing a beat, shaking her head but not being able to do anything other than smile at Octavia’s challenging expression, “I mean, I have plenty of stories to tell but there’s no way you were able to read that from my expression.”

 

“Leave her, Octavia,” Lincoln said playfully as he covered his girlfriend’s mouth loosely with his hand, “We’re all just trying to enjoy our night.”

 

“So where’s Clarke at?” Jasper questioned looking around the group, his eyes landing directly on Lexa as he finished speaking, “Any ideas?”

 

“Your guess is as good as mine,” Lexa shook her head, knowing he was referring to the last time she had gone missing, “She can’t be at the high ropes course because it’s too close to here, we would have seen her walk past.”

 

“I can’t believe you climbed up there,” Anya said, throwing her arm around the younger girl’s shoulder and giving it a quick squeeze, “I can’t believe you climbed up there at all.”

 

“I kind of can believe it but Clarke told me how she literally had to pull your leg down onto the ladder and I had to admit that I laughed way too hard at her re-enactment,” Raven chimed in as she made a terrified expression as if to mock Lexa playfully before laughing to herself, “How did you even know she would be there?”

 

“I didn’t,” Lexa mumbled as her attention turned to her feet in front of her, “I just had an idea because she went there a few times when we were younger.”

 

“So you came here for every single year from elementary to your sophomore year, that’s a long time,” Bellamy said with a nod, “And you hated it?”

 

“Yeah,” Lexa said with a sigh, folding her arms to her chest loosely, “I _hated_ it.”

 

“Do you hate it now?” Raven questioned seriously.

 

“I don’t think so,” Lexa replied after taking a moment to think about her answer, “I’ve got no reason to hate it now.”

 

“So we’re thinking we might get some time to have a bit of a group hang out next weekend after lights out, none of us have any night duties,” Octavia announced with a wide grin, “And we’re thinking Clarke’s cabin because she has her own.”

 

“But we haven’t had the chance to ask her yet,” Jasper explained quickly.

 

“She’ll say yes, I'll make sure of that,” Raven shrugged, “It’ll be fun.”

 

“Why not just go out again?” Lexa asked raising her eyebrows as she looked around the group.

 

“It’s the strip club or the cabin, I don’t want to go back to that bar,” Octavia shook her head, wiggling her eyebrows quickly, “But we can go to the strip club if you want, you’re single so maybe you’ll meet someone special.”

 

“A cabin sounds good,” Lexa said with wide eyes after the description she was given of the very same place came flooding back into her mind, “Why don’t you want to go back to that bar though?”

 

“Well Raven’s banned now so we don’t really want to go without her.” Bellamy smirked, glancing at the other girl.

 

“Wow, what did I miss?” Lexa asked turning her head to look to the other girl who had a proud smirk on her face, stretching her arms out above her, “You were banned? No one said anything about being banned?”

 

“Yeah but what did you ask about that night?” Raven questioned as her hands fell back into her lap quickly, “I just had a disagreement with a few guys.”

 

“She tried to fight some old drunk guy and his buddies.” Jasper explained further as he chuckled to himself.

 

“He was saying some god awful stuff to us so I tried to fight him,” Raven said nonchalantly, shrugging casually “And maybe I also had a bit too much to drink but who is too say what is too much.”

 

Lexa let a smile break through her expression, watching Raven look back at her so seriously over something so odd amused the brunette to no end. She heard the rest of the group burst out in laughter, Raven’s smirk only growing until her attention was claimed by something, or someone else in front of her.

 

“There you are,” Raven said with a wide smile, Lexa’s eyes diverting to exactly who she thought it would be; seeing Clarke standing behind Octavia and Lincoln with a timid smile on her face with her eyes focussed on her own, “Where have you been all day?”

 

“Something came up,” Clarke explained, her voice husky as it scratched against her throat. She glanced to Raven as she spoke before her gaze returned to Lexa who almost visibly squirmed under her attention, “Can I talk to you?”

 

“Uh…sure” Lexa responded as she let her body catch up with her brain, taking a moment to figure out that she would need to stand and walk somewhere with the other girl.

 

She stood hurriedly, almost tripping over her own shoes as she did so and stepping around Clarke’s friends so she could meet the blonde. Clarke gave her friend’s another small smile before wordlessly walking away, the brunette following her automatically. Lexa toyed nervously with her hands in front of her as they walked, not straying too far from the group but going far enough to be out of earshot; the moon being their only source of light away from the fire and flashlights.

 

Clarke wordlessly sat down against a rock that she had found, waiting for the brunette to follow suit only for her to take a seat on the ground across from her with her arms hugging her knees to her chest.

 

“If I call a truce, can we talk properly?” She asked quietly as Lexa watched her carefully and pausing as she saw the redness in her eyes, even through the darkness, “I come in peace, I promise. I just want to talk.”

 

“Yeah.” Lexa muttered to the blonde quietly.

 

“Your body language is always so defensive.” Clarke observed quietly, sighing loudly in knowing that she was the reason for Lexa’s defensive position.

 

“It can be,” Lexa responded as she looked towards the ground on front of her, scuffing her shoes awkwardly in the dirt “I’ve been feeling horrible about what I said to you ever since I said it. I had no right to say what I did and you of course should make your own decisions based on what you think, not on anything I saw because I don’t know your situation.”

 

“But you were completely right, I do need to make my own decisions and I do need to make them on what I thought; not based on what everyone else thought,” Clarke responded, her voice thick as it echoed huskily through her throat, “I thought about it and I think I was so angry at you because I knew you were completely right.”

 

“Well if you are admitting that then I have to admit that you were right too and that’s why I’m not bringing up the subject of leaving again,” Lexa nodded quickly, pausing as she spoke to expel a deep sigh, “I do run from everything because I want to protect myself and I don’t know how else to do so short of not caring about anything; as much as I pretend that I don’t, I do care about things.”

 

“See, it’s not so bad with your walls down.”

 

“But my walls have been down the entire time with you, they always have been and that’s the weird thing,” Lexa responded with a shrug, swallowing thickly as looked to Clarke who still had her attention locked on her face, “Somehow you see right through that and I can actually tell you what I’m thinking.”

 

“I want to apologise to you as well. The situation I’ve put you in has been completely unfair on you, and I know it’s stupid but I couldn’t see just how much I was hurting you until I saw the look on your face when we argued yesterday,” Clarke admitted sincerely, her eyebrows creasing in concern, “I’m really sorry, I couldn’t see past what was going on until you kind of made me address it.”

 

“Thank you.” Lexa responded with a nod, awkwardly eyeing the blonde as she internally tried to decide how to respond to her apology but being cut off before she could even try and continue.

 

“I broke up with Finn this morning.” Clarke admitted instantly, a small wave of shock rippling through Lexa’s body.

 

“Clarke…you what?” Lexa stumbled over her words, blinking quickly, “No you can’t do that over what just happened, over me.”

 

“I’m not, I didn’t,” Clarke said reassuringly and calmly, taking a deep breath before continuing, “You were right. I want to go to UCLA more than anything in the world right now, more than I want to be with Finn and when I realised that I kind of realised that I love Finn a lot but I’m not in love with him anymore. I don’t think I have been for a while and it had nothing to do with the fact that I am attracted to you but everything to do with the fact of what you told me in my mom’s office. I think I was questioning everything that you brought up and I kind of just needed to push through the fact that I need to make myself happy for once and go after what I want.”

 

“I’m sorry, Clarke.” Lexa cringed outwardly as she moved her hand to rub the back of her neck roughly, “I did exactly what I didn’t want to.”

 

“You didn’t break us up or come between us, Finn agreed that we weren’t working as a couple and he wasn’t surprised. He wanted me to go to UCLA but as my boyfriend he just felt like he was going to be left behind so he didn’t feel like he could be all that supportive when I was going to go without him. Now, he’s extremely excited for me and yeah, it sucks to lose that safety net that I had in him but I think it’s time for me to live without a safety net and do what I want to do so I have you to thank for that.”

 

“But safety nets aren’t bad,” Lexa said with wide eyes. “I feel terrible.”

 

“Don’t,” Clarke shook her head as a small smile pulled at the corners of her lips, “Yeah it might be awkward after camp when I go home and have to pack up all my stuff but I would have been doing that anyway to go to UCLA so it’s not different. I want to start a new life, I want to be where my dad was once but I also want to create my own path.”

 

“You’re kind of my hero now,” Lexa mumbled quietly with a nod, “You’ve got some guts.”

 

“Well I kind of figured that if you can go to Europe for a year without anything planned and deferring some pretty huge things, I can do this easily,” Clarke replied, shrugging as her facial expression evened out.

 

“I’m going to feel so awkward around Finn for the rest of camp so I don’t know how you’re going to feel,” Lexa cringed once more just at the thought of social dynamics she was yet to face, “This is not how I thought this would go.”

 

“Finn’s gone home; he finished a few things before he left at lunch time. He thought it would be better if he left so we could spend the rest of summer adjusting and he can go do his own thing so I had to spend all afternoon trying to replace him,” Clarke said quietly as she turned her attention out to the kids playing in the lake, “He knew it was all coming and I think he felt exactly the same as me so he wasn’t too concerned about leaving.”

 

“So he’s gone home?” Lexa questioned cautiously, feeling her stomach drop completely at the implications of the situation

 

“Yeah, he’s gone but it was his idea and again, it totally wasn’t your fault or wasn’t a result of anything that happened between us,” The blonde reassured Lexa as well as she could, “And obviously I just broke up with Finn but I do want you to know that I do genuinely feel something for you; and for the thousandth time I wasn’t using you when we kissed. I kissed you because I wanted to and there was no way that I was strong enough to stop myself when I had you right in front of me; you have been in the forefront of my mind since you got here. I know that is selfish and I know it was wrong though, so I’m sorry I put you in that position without considering everything. For the times I had you, I just wanted you and I couldn’t think of anything else other than that”

 

“I know and honestly, I’m not really expecting anything but I’m feeling something pretty strongly for you as well,” Lexa admitted shyly with a nod, feeling a warm bush begin to rise on her cheeks, “I don’t know what it is exactly or how it happened so quickly but I definitely wasn’t expecting it and I wasn’t expecting you to just tell me that.”

 

“I know. I just need some time to figure out exactly what this is and give myself some time to kind of come to terms with my relationship ending but I hope that you kind of want the same thing,” Clarke said bravely, holding her hands out defensively in front of her as she continued “Which is fine if you don’t, I would totally get it after how this all went down.”

 

“Take the time you need,” Lexa said as soon as Clarke had finished talking, giving the blonde a reassuring nod, “I know it won’t just happen overnight and I think we both need some time to adjust but I feel the exact same thing you do.”

 

“You do know that I had the biggest crush on you when I was younger, right?” Clarke questioned, her mood lightening as she spoke with an embarrassed tone of voice, “Looking back it’s pretty ridiculous”

 

“You had a crush on me when we were younger?” Lexa raised her eyebrows, “Why? Everyone hated me here and I self admittedly was probably one of the biggest losers this camp has ever seen.”

 

“You were not, people just said that enough so you believed it,” Clarke replied, subtly shuffling herself a little closer towards the brunette “No you were always way too cool to me, I just liked being around you and I really liked the fact that no matter how much you were teased you never gave into it. You never reacted to the comments or the taunting, you just raised that chin like you still do now and you pretended like it didn’t bother you.”

 

“But it did, it _really_ did,” Lexa shook her head, “I wasn’t brave at all.”

  
“Well I know that it did because I used to find you by yourself but no one else knew,” Clarke shrugged, her smile only growing, “I always admired that and I was actually going to tell you that I had a huge crush on you the year you didn’t come back.”

 

“No you weren’t.”

 

“Yeah, I was,” Clarke chuckled to herself, “It was ridiculous because I was still in middle school, I had actually planned out what I was going to say and everything but you didn’t come back.”

 

“Your mom would have loved that.” Lexa rolled her eyes with more than a hint of sarcasm.

 

“She actually really likes you,” Clarke shrugged, “She just would have been a little concerned at that time, she’s become a lot more open minded since she found out that her own daughter was bi.”

 

“If she had of been concerned about me it would have been for good reason, I have been a train wreck over the past year,” Lexa replied with a shudder, “I saved you some future trouble.”

 

“You seem okay to me now,” Clarke said quietly “And you were the first girl I had a crush on too.”

 

“Really?” Lexa raised an eyebrow, with a sceptical tone, “Me?”

 

“Yep,” Clarke responded simply, pausing in thought, “You were different when you showed up here on the first day of this camp to what I remembered. You were always guarded but you were much more guarded when you first arrived this year than what you used to be. I knew something big happened and I kind of figured we weren’t going to be friends like we were when we were young. Instead, you showed up below me when I was sitting up at the high ropes cause and climbed up to the top deck without a harness even though you are clearly terrified of heights. You found me when no one else even knew where to start looking and we hadn’t seen each other in ten years.”

 

“Which by the way, will never happen again.” Lexa joked quietly.

 

“I won’t make you climb up there again,” Clarke replied with a small nudge to the brunette, “My point is that there’s always something that I could never put my finger on about you, something that always seemed so inevitable to me.”

 

“I know the feeling,” Lexa mumbled seriously, her heart racing loudly within her chest, “Let’s just take our time, okay? Figure all of this out?”

 

“Oh yeah, slow pace,” Clarke agreed as she looked out at the sunset, “And that was probably one of the most intense arguments I have had in quite some time.”

 

“I know, I’m sorry about that,” Lexa said apologetically as her lips curved into a frown, “I mean, I’m not sorry about what I said but I’m sorry that I basically turned it into a yelling match.”

 

“Don’t be, I think that’s exactly what I needed to hear,” Clarke replied with a deep sigh, “Maybe I can act normal around you now instead of letting myself get a little too close to you before reigning myself back in.”

 

“Let’s just start again,” Lexa suggested with a nod.

 

“I thought clean slates didn’t work?” Clarke questioned as a light joke, smirking as she rolled her eyes.

 

“It’s not a clean slate, we are starting over,” Lexa said with a shrug, waving her off impatiently, “There’s a difference so please just agree.”

 

“Deal,” Clarke nodded with a smile, “I’d introduce myself but you already knew me before you came this year.”

 

“I did,” Lexa smiled to herself, looking down to her knees as she visibly relaxed next to the other girl, “Your friends have been looking for you all day, you should probably go and sit back with them.”

 

“Yeah, my mom’s got my sleeping bag so I’ll grab it from her and come over,” Clarke said as she stood from the rock, prompting Lexa to stand up quickly and brushing any dirt away with her hands lightly, “Save me a spot.”

 

“Sure,” Lexa replied quickly with a small nod, moving away from the blonde so she could take her place within the group once more; glancing backwards at Clarke who had now reached Abby.

 

“So…what was that about?” Raven asked, pulling the medical student’s attention back down to earth.

 

“Nothing,” Lexa dismissed quickly, “Clarke can tell you.”

 

“Sure, it definitely looked like nothing,” Raven said sarcastically with a smirk and a shake of her head, “At least we can talk about using her cabin next weekend.”

 

“We might need a plan B if Clarke doesn’t want us to use her cabin,” Bellamy said with a nod as he threw a small stick at Raven who chuckled lightly before turning to Anya, giving the other girl her best winning smile.

 

“So, what about your cabin?” Raven asked playfully as she raised her eyebrows.

 

“What did I just walk into?” Clarke asked, throwing her sleeping bag on the ground next to Lexa before taking a seat next to the brunette only to shuffle a little closer as soon as she found a comfortable position.

 

“We were just talking about the awesome little gathering we’re having next weekend,” Octavia said with a nod, smiling warmly as Lincoln placed a quick kiss on the top of her head and glancing between the two girls as she noticed Clarke’s not so subtle attempt to sit a little closer to Lexa.

 

“What awesome gathering?” Clarke raised an eyebrow and looking to Lexa with curiosity.

 

“I had no idea about it.” Lexa shrugged quickly with a shake of her head.

 

“You would know about it if you were around today,” Raven explained without missing a beat after Lexa’s comment, “Which now leads me to ask where exactly you were?”

 

“I was…dealing with a few things,” Clarke said carefully, exhaling deeply as she looked around her group of friends, “And don’t hate me for this but Finn has gone home for the summer.”

 

“He’s gone home?” Jasper questioned curiously with a raised eyebrow, “Why would he go home?”

 

“Did you guys break up?” Octavia asked cautiously as she eyed her friend intently.

 

“You probably should have let her tell you on her own terms rather than asking her in front of everyone” Lincoln noted from behind his girlfriend, giving the blonde a supportive nod.

 

“It’s okay,” Clarke shrugged, placing her hands behind her to press her palms into the ground lightly, “We broke up.”

 

“Well…are you okay?” Raven asked with only seriousness in her tone, knowing what the answer was going to be but asking it anyway.

 

“It’s weird and I have to get used to it but I think so” Clarke said thoughtfully, “I think you all knew it was coming.”

 

“Yeah, we did,” Raven said with complete honesty, “I think you both kind of needed it.”

 

“We did and he didn’t really see the point in staying for the rest of the summer, which I didn’t blame him for so he left after lunch today.” Clarke explained carefully, exhaling deeply before she continued to speak, “I spent the whole day trying to find a replacement for him because we’re pretty stretched as it is so I managed to convince Monty to come for the rest of the Summer considering he’s here visiting his family anyway”

 

“Oh no way,” Jasper perked up excitedly at the news of his best friend returning to camp, “That’s awesome.”

 

“He’ll be here by tomorrow night.”

 

“So that means you’re going to UCLA, right?” Bellamy asked with a cocked eyebrow, a small smile on his face “You’re moving to LA?”

 

“Looks like it.” Clarke answered, Lexa feeling warmth grow in her chest as she watched the genuine smile spread on the younger girl’s face and glancing sideways towards her and seeing the smile only grow, “I think it’s the right choice for me.”

 

“Hell yes it is,” Raven exclaimed a little louder than she probably should have, leaning back on the log behind her with her hands resting on the top of her head. “I mean it sucks about you and Finn because you’re both my friends but at the same time I think you guys kind of have your separate things going on and I think UCLA is where you need to be. Even though I will totally miss you and bothering you all the time so you better believe I’ll be in LA all the time.”

 

“I hope so.” Clarke laughed to herself, leaning forward so she could look towards her friend.

 

“At least we’ll have you two looking out for her,” Jasper said as he looked at Anya and Lexa, the younger girl’s posture straightening slightly as she was mentioned.

 

“I mean that really depends where she lives, the LA area is pretty big.” Anya said truthfully, her voice even as she shrugged.

 

“At least this makes the break up a little easier on us seeing as we’re friends with both of you,” Raven said seriously, “I mean if you were staying in Texas then that could have been super awkward.”

 

“If she was staying in Texas, they would probably still be together.” Jasper replied truthfully with a shrug of his own.

 

“I don’t think so.” Clarke disagreed, expelling a quiet sigh, “It was more than me just moving to LA and it also had to do with the fact that we probably held on longer than we should have.”

 

“So is this the part where you ask Clarke about using her cabin for what you’re planning?” Lexa interrupted looking to Clarke, seeing the awkwardness that was building on the blonde’s face; being rewarded with a soft smile on the younger girl’s expression as their gazes met, “They don’t want to go to the strip club.”

 

“I think Lexa does want to go to this strip club because all she keeps talking about is the very same club,” Anya joked as she nudged her best friend, “Maybe we should go.”

 

“I’m not going to a strip club,” Lexa said in a deadpanned voice as she looked at her best friend, “You would have to carry me in there against my will.”

 

“Well our other plan was to just have a bit of a group hang out in a cabin and seeing as you have your own…” Raven trailed off expectantly as she looked towards her friend, “I think it’s exactly what you need in the comfort of your own cabin.”

 

“Sounds good to me,” Clarke responded with a small smile, “But we’re pretty close to a few campers’ cabins so we’ll have to keep it down a bit.”

 

“Yes!” Octavia said excitedly, pointing to Raven with a nod, “You’re a genius.”

 

“Thank you,” Raven acknowledged with a sigh, “I’m just that good.”

 

\---

 

Silence blanketed Camp Jaha in the early hours of the morning as everyone slowly started falling asleep one by one under the stars. The only sound that Lexa could hear was hushed chatter from those few of whom were still somehow awake and the sounds of crickets communicating loudly through the night. The summer’s night air was cool enough for Lexa to need to be inside her sleeping bag, shifting onto her back so she could look up to the bright night’s sky above her; looking at the stars that were so big that she felt as if she could reach out and touch them. The medical student felt a certain calmness every single time she was sleeping out under the stars at Camp Jaha, it was one of her favourite memories throughout her entire childhood. This time was no different as she laid wide eyed under the clear sky, savouring a moment that she would never be able to have when she was back in LA; a moment that she could always think back to when she thought of Camp Jaha.

 

The group of counsellors had broken up around the campers as soon as it was time to sleep, some counsellors still awake by a fire as they took turns at looking over the group whilst everyone else slept. The brunette found herself with Anya on one side and Clarke on the other, letting her head turn slightly to see the blonde laying on her side; sleeping peacefully with her back to her. A warmth spread through her body like something she had never felt before, knowing that the blonde had taken a large risk and stepped away from something that was safe for her just to have the opportunity to go after what she wanted. The older girl would never stop admiring her decision to do so; knowing that Clarke was hurting more than she was admitting and knowing that she was more scared that she would ever show but Lexa knew she was making the right decision. It also made her nervous having Clarke openly admit her feelings and stating her interest and even though Lexa had known there was something between them all along; it just made it feel a bit more really having the blonde say something so clearly.

 

It was easy for Lexa to put up her walls, it was easy for her to stay at a distance from people but for some reason with Clarke; it was just easier to do the complete opposite of any defensive reaction she might have. Somehow, someway Clarke just made sense to Lexa; like what Clarke had said to her about being in a place at the time you are supposed to be there was completely correct and extremely appropriate to what she was thinking. She knew it was going to be a slow process, it was going to be strange with Clarke only having broken up with her boyfriend that very day and Lexa hardly thought it was appropriate to even think about her almost pending relationship with the blonde but she would wait. She hadn’t seen Clarke in over ten years and she hadn’t thought about wanting to be with anyone since the moment she saw Costia in bed with one of their best friends so as far as she was concerned; she had all the time in the world.

 

Lexa looked back up to the stars, not being able to help the smile that formed on her face from her forehead all the way down to her lips; a smile so wide that she knew only the girl next to her could have caused it. She heard a shuffle beside her, looking to her right again to see Clarke facing her with a tired smile as she rubbed her eyes gently.

 

“Why are you awake? What time is it?” Clarke whispered quietly, shuffling her sleeping bag a little closer to Lexa’s so she could talk without doing so loudly.

 

“I think it’s around three,” Lexa responded quietly with a small shrug as she looked back up to the stars, “I can’t sleep.”

 

“You okay?”

 

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that question?” Lexa asked with a small sigh, rolling to her side so she could face the blonde; her eyes adjusting to Clarke’s face in the darkness.

 

“I’m okay,” Clarke replied quietly, shifting both of her hands under her head, “So is there any particular reason you can’t sleep?”

 

“No,” Lexa shook her head as her eyes flickered in between Clarke’s, “I think you might have been right.”

 

“About?” Clarke questioned with a tone thick of sleep.

 

“You know how you said that you think life kind of puts you in a place where you are supposed to be at that time?” Lexa asked carefully, trying to cover her vulnerabilities weakly from a girl who she knew could see right through it.

 

“And you told me that you didn’t believe in that kind of stuff?”

 

“Yeah,” Lexa nodded, “Maybe I kind of do now.”

 

“Sometimes thing just work out how they are supposed to,” Clarke shrugged with a husky voice, stifling a quiet yawn with her hand, “All I know is that I’m going to UCLA and I can’t wait.”

 

“You’re going to fit right in,” Lexa said with a soft smile, “I’m sorry about you and Finn, I mean I guess it would be hypocritical of me to say I’m sorry that you broke up but I’m sorry that you lost something you held close to you for so long. I know what that’s like and you lost it quickly.”

 

“I didn’t really though,” Clarke reasoned with another small shrug, “Finn and I had been over for a long time, you could probably see it. We just didn’t admit it until today and I wasn’t breaking up with him just because I wanted to go to LA, we broke up because it just wasn’t what it was supposed to be. We were friends more than anything, and I will always have a lot of love for him but we’re better off how it is now.”

 

“Admitting it though can be worse than knowing,” Lexa countered gently, “I’m just saying that I wouldn’t blame you if you weren’t okay.”

 

“I mean it sucks and I’m sad because it hurts letting go of someone that I have spent so much time with over the past few years but it’s for the best,” Clarke’s voice dropped to an almost inaudible tone as she blinked tiredly, “And I think we’ll both be happier this way, he didn’t want to move to LA in the first place.”

 

“I just want you to know that if you need to talk then I’m here,” Lexa whispered sincerely, seeing Clarke’s tired expression soften immediately as the words left her mouth.

 

“I know,” Clarke replied as she moved her hand out into the small space between their sleeping bags, her eyes fixed on the position of her hand as if waiting for Lexa to follow her lead, “And I will do so when or if I need to.”

 

Lexa took a second to gather her thoughts, reaching her hand out to join Clarke’s as it rested on the ground between them; linking their fingers gently and being rewarded for her bravery by a sleepy smile on the blonde’s face as she felt the contact. Her eyes slowly drifting closed even though the younger girl was visibly trying to fight her sleep, gently stroking the back of Lexa’s hand with her thumb.

 

“We have to be up early,” Lexa whispered, her heart feeling full as she watched Clarke nod sleepily before her eyes cracked open once more to meet the brunette’s.

 

“We do and if I’m going to beat you in the dodge ball tournament tomorrow, I need my rest.” Clarke answered playfully and chuckling to herself quietly.

 

“You do need your rest,” Lexa responded, leaning in ever so slightly to speak quietly, “But you’re not going to beat me no matter how much you sleep.”

 

“We’ll see about that,” Clarke defended half-heartedly as she felt sleep grip her once more, “Goodnight Lexa.”

 

“Goodnight Clarke,” Lexa glanced down to their still joined hands, her chest pulling tightly as she felt something stir within her like the moment she and Clarke kissed by the lake.

 

The only difference was that she could actually enjoy the feeling now knowing that Clarke wasn’t with Finn anymore and knowing that when they were both ready, she wanted to be with Lexa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, thoughts?
> 
> I will update soon, it might take me a few days because this week is going to be hectic but I will try to post as soon as I can!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! Thank you for the love on the last chapter! 
> 
> Sorry this has taken so long to post, it's been a very busy week! I should be able to get the next chapter to you a little quicker!

It was a very special day on the Camp Jaha summer calendar, which always followed the camp out under the stars; the day of the annual dodge ball tournament. It was something that was introduced the last year that Lexa had been at camp, so she knew how it started but she didn’t know how it had grown to be one of the most anticipated competitions of camp. The tournament was run in the Camp Jaha spirit of fun and fairness but as Lexa looked across the other side of the makeshift court, feeling the dirt under her hand as she touched the line behind her; she knew she her competitive spirit was about to kick in. She was competitive by nature, sometimes her competitiveness got the best of her but she liked to win and although she knew it was all in fun; she still wanted to walk away with the win. The trophy had become coveted at camp, building with prestige year after year with a cook out by the lake following the tournament; something else all of the campers looked forward to.

 

The tournament was run throughout the entire day with cabin groups competing within pools, the top cabins going through to the sudden death elimination rounds until there was one girls cabin and one boys cabin left.  The two champion cabins would then select 4 cabin members at random to play against the Camp Jaha all-star dodge-ball team along with their cabin leaders. Lexa wasn’t sure why they were called the Camp Jaha all-stars; the team was made up of specialist counsellor’s like herself who didn’t belong to a cabin group or counsellors whose cabins had been eliminated already. Mostly she didn’t understand because she had Anya standing casually next to her, a girl who hated any kind of physical activity and had mostly hated the outdoors until coming to camp. The All-stars team was made up of Lexa, Anya, Abby, Gustus, Bellamy, Raven, the newly arrived Monty, Octavia, Jasper and one of Abby’s close friends Marcus Kane who had arrived back from a holiday to come straight to Camp Jaha.

 

She heard Gustus playfully heckling the campers over the speaker playing music just beside the make shift court, smirking as her eyes met Clarke’s who was in the exact same position as she was on the other side of the court. It just so happened that Clarke and Lincoln’s cabin’s both made it through to the final, making it more than interesting and it was clear that the campers were supporting their fellow peers over the team of counsellor’s. Lexa’s heartbeat only increased as a countdown from 5 was started for the beginning of the match, eyeing off a ball directly in front of herself and Clarke.

 

As they were started, Lexa pushed off her back leg quickly, moving towards the ball she had her sights on and reaching it only seconds before Clarke; watching the blonde back off quickly as the dodge balls were claimed either side. The first ball was thrown by a camper, it was thrown directly at Anya who had every chance to catch the ball that was lobbed a little higher than the camper had wanted and would have been an easy catch for anyone else but the actress. She just watched the ball coming towards her, taking a step into it so it could hit her on the upper part of her chest as a cheer erupted from the spectating campers; Anya not even looking back as she strolled slowly from the court to sit down on the sideline.

 

“Really?” Lexa asked as she looked at her friend with her arms outstretched in confusion

 

Lexa didn’t see it coming but she certainly felt it, a ball was hurled in her direction and hit her square in her abdominals; the brunette turning to the source of the ball with blazing eyes only to see Clarke with a hand on her hip and another ball in her other and a winning smile. The brunette sighed gruffly to herself, dropping the ball she had in her possession before begrudgingly taking a seat next to her best friend who was struggling to contain a fit of laughter that had started upon seeing Lexa eliminated so quickly.

 

“Don’t you laugh, you were the first one out.” Lexa mumbled as she gently shoved her friend on the shoulder.

 

“Yeah but you’re good at sport,” Anya replied with a shake of her head, “You could give me a ten minute warning when the ball was coming and I’d still get hit.”

 

“You got out because you let yourself get out,” Lexa rolled her eyes as she glanced towards the other side of the court where Clarke was handing off dodgeballs to her campers before looking back at her friend, “Though it does make me question the name of our team with you in it.”

 

“Shut up,” Anya chuckled, wincing as Bellamy nailed one of the campers in the leg, “I woke up at 6am this morning, I think I’m finally getting used to this early thing.”

 

“You were up earlier than I was then.”

 

“I was and I saw your hand out next to Clarke’s there on the ground while you were completely dead to the world,” Anya added as she looked at her friend, “I’ll admit that it was a bit cute that you two had clearly been holding hands when you fell asleep.”

 

“So suddenly today you’re team Clarke?” Lexa asked raised an eyebrow as Marcus Kane was hit with the ball followed very quickly by Gustus after a good shot from Lincoln.

 

“I’ve been team Clarke since we got here,” Anya shook her head, “I just wasn’t team Clexa because there was a third player involved in what should have been a two player game.”

 

“So you’re okay now that she is single?” Lexa asked in confusion, comprehending what Anya said but wondering why she had chosen to say it like that.

 

“I’m just happy that if something develops, which I know it will, it will be on your own terms and no one else is going to get hurt because of it,” Anya shrugged, “Now I won’t get mad at you for spending time with her and that’s how it should be.”

 

“Anya you’re back in,” Lexa said slowly as her attention was brought back to the court after seeing Bellamy catch a lobbed ball from one of the campers, “You have to go back on the court.”

 

“But I’m out,” Anya cocked an eyebrow with a shake of her head, “And I worked hard to get here.”

 

“Go!” Lexa gestured to the court before her friend sighed, turning to give Octavia and Marcus Kane a smile as they sat down next to her. She watched on as Anya stepped back onto the court, standing by the corner until someone mercifully threw a ball at her, hitting her mid thigh and eliminating her again, “Oh god.”

 

“She must really hate dodgeball,” Marcus Kane said with a chuckle as Anya strolled back towards them with a satisfied smile on her face.

 

“She is great at a lot of things but sport isn’t one of them. What the hell Anya?” Lexa blanched at the older girl when she sat down again by the side of the court, “You could have at least tried.”

 

“I could have.” Anya shrugged.

 

It didn’t take long until the numbers dwindled on each side of the court and things were not looking good for the All-Star team with only Bellamy and Raven remaining. The campers still had Lincoln, Clarke and a girl from Clarke’s cabin group so they were at least a player up, knowing that they would have to use it to their advantage. Lexa watched as Lincoln threw a ball as hard as he could, hitting Bellamy in the chest with a thud only to have the raven haired boy catch it in his arms as he looked directly at the other male counsellor with a smirk, knowing that he had just brought a team member back into the game and eliminated an opponent.

 

“I guess that’s me.” Lexa said quickly as she jumped to her feet, all too eager to regain her place on the court when Bellamy was hit by Clarke on the foot so that it was down to two on each team.

 

Lexa quickly grabbed a loose ball, holding it in front of her and hitting away a ball that the young camper quickly fired at her, eyeing Clarke who was standing without a ball at the end of the court, most of them being on the All-Star side of the court. Lexa couldn’t help but smirk at the blonde who had her complete focus, seemingly capturing the attention of the psychology student as well because Raven quickly fired off a ball at Clarke which bounced and hit her directly above the hip. Lexa couldn’t do anything but laugh to herself when the last remaining camper threw a ball right back at Raven to eliminate her also.

 

“Hey!” Raven called as she walked up to the line after being eliminated, “I totally took you kayaking.”

 

“You’re gone, Raven.” Clarke called as she walked off the court.

 

“So are you!” Raven exclaimed as she threw her arms up in the air before storming off the court, leaving Lexa and the camper on opposite sides of the court.

 

She heard the campers cheer loudly for the young girl, a wide smile on her face as she realised that she was the reason for the cheering; glancing around quickly as her smile only grew. Lexa sighed quietly as she watched her grin, seeing a lot of what she used to be in the girl in front of her and at that point she knew she had to lose. Lexa took a few steps closer towards the middle line, not wanting to make anything obvious but she didn’t want to make it too difficult for the other girl either; the camper threw the ball at Lexa and missed by a sizable gap. Lexa quickly released her ball; deliberately making it a floater that was light enough for the younger girl to catch it and that was exactly what she did. The campers erupted into cheers as her cabin rushed onto the court to hug her, Lexa hiding her smile as she turned to her team and just shrugged as they stood from the side of the court.

 

“You know, you’re a really good person,” Octavia said looking at Lexa as she began walking to the other side of the court towards Lincoln “But you’re a sucky teammate because you could have totally won.”

 

“So you do have a heart,” Anya joked as she picked a ball up and threw it at Lexa lightly, placing her hand on her friend’s shoulder as she arrived beside her “That was pretty nice of you.”

 

“If that would have been me I would have gone for it.” Raven admitted with a shrug,“ Because now my campers aren’t going to stop talking about how we lost.”

 

“Sorry,” Lexa shrugged with a grin as she looked over to the campers on the other side of the court, “She deserved it though, I had gotten out already.”

 

“Lexa,” Clarke called from the edge of the court, a small smile on her face, “Can you please come and help me get the buns for the cook out?”

 

“Go get those buns, Lexa” Raven chuckled to herself as she pushed the other girl lightly, “I’ll keep Anya company.”

 

“I’ll bet,” Lexa rolled her eyes as she walked towards Clarke, dodging campers who were running around the court and throwing balls at each other, “I don’t know whether I should help you, you’re the one who eliminated me.”

 

“You weren’t watching,” Clarke defended lightly, “I do actually need your help though carrying a few things from the kitchen.”

 

“Sure,” Lexa tucked her hands deeply into her pockets as they began walking towards the kitchen in silence, the brunette unsure what to say to the younger girl as they hadn’t had the opportunity to talk too much since the night before.

 

“So that was really nice of you,” Clarke spoke quietly, breaking through the silence a few minute’s into their walk, “She didn’t even want to play.”

 

“What was nice of me?” Lexa asked with a raised eyebrow, “She beat me.”

 

“Of course.” Clarke replied with a nod, a grin breaking through her expression.

 

“She reminded me of myself,” Lexa shrugged, “I could have used a win at that age too.”

 

“That’s true.”

 

“How are you today anyway?” Lexa questioned, her voice getting stuck in her throat for a moment before having the opportunity to clear it, “I mean I know you wouldn’t be great but are you okay?”

 

“You don’t need to keep asking me that,” Clarke replied quickly, “I’m okay.”

 

“Are you sure?” Lexa raised an eyebrow, “Because you don’t have to be.”

 

“I’m fine,” Clarke reassured the brunette, “I haven’t had much time to think about anything today but I told you last night, I’m fine. I’m going to have to get used to not having Finn around but we weren’t really together for a while now, I guess I’m used to that part already.”

 

“What does your mom think?” Lexa asked curiously.

 

“She hasn’t said much, I only really spoke to her about it yesterday so she probably won’t say much until I bring it up again,” Clarke reasoned quietly, “She knew something was going to happen if I chose to go to UCLA and that’s what I wanted to do.”

 

“Okay.” Lexa replied with a nod, not wanting to ask any further questions on the matter.

 

“Honestly, I’m fine,” Clarke said quietly with the smallest of smiles and a nod, “I kind of just want to enjoy the rest of camp seeing as it’s probably going to be my last.”

 

“I don’t know if it will be your last,” Lexa replied as they reached the kitchen, opening the door for the blonde to walk through, “I think you’ll come back.”

 

“Do you?” Clarke asked raising an eyebrow, “I wasn’t going to come back this year.”

 

“But you did,” Lexa shrugged as she followed Clarke’s lead through the large kitchen, stopping as they arrived at bench stacked with packaged hamburger buns but the blonde made no movement to take any; pushing herself up to sit next up on the same bench, “Don’t feel like getting the campers dinner?”

 

“They haven’t started cooking anything yet,” Clarke replied as she swung her legs below her as she gestured for Lexa to sit next to her on the bench, the brunette doing so without any protest and seating herself so close to the blonde that their knee’s not so subtly touched, “My mom’s thinking about selling the place, that’s why it’s probably my last year.”

 

“What?” Lexa asked furrowing her eyebrows, “Selling Camp Jaha?”

 

“Yeah, it’s a lot for her to take on by herself now. I mean that’s why I’m here but if I don’t come back next year then she isn’t going to have near as much help as she does now and it also reminds her of dad,” Clarke replied thoughtfully, her eyes focussing on the wall on the other side of the large kitchen, “I came back to have some kind of closure myself just in case that does happen.”

 

“Why didn’t you tell me that until now?” Lexa asked curiously, pausing before speaking again, “I mean not that you had to but I figured you’ve told me a lot already.”

 

“Mom’s just been thinking about it over the past few days, Marcus is here to go over everything with her and she’ll make a decision before the end of camp,” Clarke shrugged as she brought her attention back to Lexa, “Please don’t tell anyone I just told you that.”

  
“I won’t,” Lexa replied sincerely as she rubbed her hands awkwardly against her thighs, “Who would buy a summer camp anyway?”

 

“Well they’d buy the land, not the camp,” Clarke answered lightly, Lexa rolling her eyes at the obviousness, “But I don’t know, apparently there’s someone interested so that’s why she’s considering it so much.”

 

“Do you think she would actually sell it?” Lexa raised an eyebrow, “Would you be okay with that?”

 

“I don’t know,” Clarke shook her head with a small sigh, “I bet you’d be all to happy to wave this place goodbye though.”

 

“I’m not so sure anymore,” Lexa replied honestly, clenching her fists as they rested against her legs, “I never thought I would be back here and I never wanted to be back but now that I am, it’s not as bad as I thought it would be.”

 

“I guess I’ll find out either way at the end of camp,” Clarke responded evenly, her eyes watching Lexa’s hands absently, “I mean either way I probably won’t be back but it’s nice having the option to come back if I want to.”

 

“Should we get these buns and go?” Lexa asked as she watched Clarke’s face turn to a frown as she contemplated what she had just told the other girl, “Raven might come looking for us if we don’t hurry up because she always seems to find me wherever I am here.”

 

“What’s going on with her and Anya?”

 

“I don’t know,” Lexa said slowly with a smirk, “I feel like something is going to happen there but I’m not sure what it’s going to be.”

 

“Raven doesn’t really do relationships,” Clarke said cautiously as she got down from the bench quickly, turning to face Lexa who stayed seated in the same position.

 

“Either does Anya,” Lexa shook her head, “I don’t remember the last relationship she has been in and I’ve known her for 8 years.”

 

“What does Anya think about me?” Clarke asked curiously, grabbing Lexa’s hand, tugging her down from the bench with a chuckle as she reached out to grab an entire tray of burger buns to hand to the brunette, “About what happened with us?”

 

“She doesn’t think much about it,” Lexa grimaced, wondering when bread became so heavy but knowing there was enough to carry between the two of them for an army, “I mean she was more angry at me than anything but we haven’t talked about it much, I’m sure she will talk my ear off about it tonight when we are back in the cabin.”

 

“You guys have a really cool friendship, you deserve that,” Clarke said honestly, grunting herself as she picked up her tray of burger buns “You always deserved that.”

 

“Were you honestly going to tell me you had a crush on me the year I didn’t come back?” Lexa asked with an amused smile while they began walking back down to the cookout, “We were pretty young.”

 

“I know and I don’t know where I got that bravery from but honest to god I was going to,” Clarke laughed while shutting the door behind her with her foot, “I was set on telling you.”

 

“And you didn’t even question that you liked a girl?”

 

“Nope,” Clarke responded honestly, “It never even crossed my mind because I didn’t see it as an issue.”

 

“You definitely belong to this generation then,” Lexa laughed with a nod.

 

\---

 

It had been a long week for the campers and counsellor’s alike as they arrived at the halfway point of the camp; while everyone was still getting along well, Lexa could see that the kids were starting to get a little restless and the counsellor’s even more so. It had been a week since the camp out under the stars and a week since the dodgeball tournament, a week since Finn left and a week since Clarke told Lexa exactly how she felt. They had gone no further than holding hands that night across their sleeping bags, they hadn’t had much physical contact besides sitting next to each other and they certainly hadn’t made any attempts to kiss again. Lexa was very aware of the blonde’s boundaries, wanting to make sure that Clarke was the one who initiated anything and although she was craving whatever she could get from the younger girl, she would wait as long as she needed to.

 

They had grown closer though, spending their spare moments together either hanging out by the lake or in Clarke’s cabin; doing nothing but talking about their past experiences as well as their futures and catching each other up on the parts of their lives they had both missed. Lexa smiled to herself as she pulled the hood of her light jacket over her head, knowing that she would be given weird looks for even wearing a jumper but she felt a cool breeze if it were miles away, which she never understood after growing up in a cool climate. Anya trailed quickly behind her, wearing a cut up singlet and shorts; completely opposite to the jeans and jacket Lexa was wearing as they made the extremely short journey to Clarke’s cabin.

 

Anya’s interesting friendship with Raven had only built over the week, Anya happily going along with the obvious flirting that Raven was instigating but nothing had gone past there. Lexa could see it building though and she didn’t quite understand why, Anya was fluid with her sexuality but she had told her best friend many times before that girls were just too much work and men were just easier. It was a sentiment that Lexa couldn’t possibly agree on but she definitely understood considering her past experiences with women. She knocked on Clarke’s door, seeing the blonde standing in front of her in her camp shirt and shorts with a warm smile on her face that caught the brunette’s attention immediately.

 

“Hey,” Lexa said with a small smile.

 

“How are you cold?” Clarke asked raising an eyebrow, “You were in the sun all day.”

 

“I know,” Lexa shrugged, glancing back at Anya who shook her head, “Anya told me the same thing.”

 

“Come in,” Clarke said as she took a step to the side to allow the two girls to enter but Anya stayed completely still, waiting outside the door even after her younger friend had entered the cabin.

 

“Can I talk to you for a second?” Anya asked looking directly at Clarke, not even looking past the blonde to see the raised eyebrows on the expression of her best friend, “it will only take a second.”

 

“Anya,” Lexa shook her head, placing her hand on the small of Clarke’s back, “What are you doing?”

 

“I need to talk to Clarke,” Anya said seriously as the blonde nodded, looking back to Lexa momentarily to give her a reassuring nod before taking a few steps outside the door, “Can you close the door please now?”

 

“Anya,” Lexa warned once more, her voice firming as she looked between both Anya and Clarke, “Why are you doing this now?”

 

“Just close the door,” Anya said firmly, “We won’t be long”.

 

Lexa looked to Clarke who nodded to her again, closing the door of the blonde’s cabin and turning to the room full of her friends who were all watching her curiously. Without saying a word, Raven and Octavia walked towards the window of the cabin, peaking out past the curtains not so subtly to watch on.

 

“Guys,” Lincoln chastised lightly from his seat in the corner of the room where Octavia had been sitting with him moments ago, “Do you really need to do that?”

 

“Yes,” Raven said with an incredulous expression, grabbing Lexa’s wrist and pulling her closer to the window so she could look on as well as she heard muffled speech begin from outside.

 

“I don’t know if we should be listening to this,” Lexa said uncomfortably.

 

“Before you say anything, I know you weren’t a big fan of me and how this whole thing with Lexa happened,” Clarke said quietly, Lexa watching on as she fiddled with her hands in front of her nervously; noticing that Anya was standing tall and peering over the blonde intimidatingly, “And I know that it was stupid, I shouldn’t have kissed her twice.”

 

“She kissed you twice?” Octavia asked looking to the brunette who kept her eyes trained outside, “While Finn was here?”

 

“You’re right, I wasn’t the biggest fan of you when that happened” Anya said seriously, her voice as firm as her facial expression, “But I also know that Lexa was just as guilty as you in that situation. It wasn’t that I didn’t like you, because I think you bring out something in Lexa that I haven’t seen, probably ever but how you pursued it was wrong. I just didn’t want to see her get hurt and I still don’t so that’s why I just want to tell you that I’m not really someone you want to piss off; hurting Lexa is a guaranteed way to do so.”

 

“I get that,” Clarke replied with nod as she met Anya’s eye contact, “I’m still figuring a few things out but Lexa isn’t one of them.”

 

“I know she will probably give me the silent treatment later but I tried to get her to avoid you, I was the reason she didn’t go out with us that night at the bar because you were with Finn and it was obvious that there was something between you. I didn’t want Finn to get hurt but most of all, I knew that if something further happened then her guilt would eat her alive. I’m just not sure that you took that into account when you kissed her and I’m not sure you cared,” Anya said honestly, folding her arms loosely and cocking an eyebrow as she waited for Clarke to respond, “I was right to think that you weren’t using her just to get away from your problems, right?”

 

“Oh wow, she is not pulling punches,” Raven muttered with a smirk on her face, “I feel like a bad friend because we haven’t roasted you about anything.”

 

“We more encouraged you.” Octavia said awkwardly, pausing as she heard Clarke speak once more.

 

“I can see why you would think that but of course I cared. When I kissed Lexa, it was because I felt something for her that I couldn’t deny and I didn’t have enough self-control to stop. I know she was hurt by Costia and I know I put her in a terrible situation but I didn’t kiss her because I wanted to forget about my problems with Finn, I’m not that kind of person,” Clarke said seriously, her voice growing in strength as she spoke, “I’m moving to LA for college but I also want to give this a shot with Lexa once we are both ready, I want to see why after so long I can’t get that stubborn but brilliant girl out of my head and why I feel as if the world is just pointing to her no matter what direction I turn. I’m serious about making it work too when I get to LA so it’s not just a passing thought.”

 

“Good,” Anya said with a satisfied smile, sighing quietly as she looked towards the window as all three girls ducked away instantly, “I just want the best for her and if you’re it then I’m all for it now that you’re single.”

 

“I know,” Clarke replied quickly, “Should we go back inside?”

 

“Yeah,” Anya responded with a nod, causing the three girls to scurry back to their previous positions; Lexa taking a seat awkwardly on the edge of Clarke’s bed as the door opened, “I saw you all watching.”

 

“We weren’t watching.” Raven said quickly as she patted the ground next to her against the side of Clarke’s bed for Anya to sit.

 

Lexa eyed Clarke who gave the brunette a reassuring smile before taking a seat next to her on the bed and shuffling close enough for their shoulders to be touching.

 

“So uh, do we need to take Lexa outside?” Raven asked looking between Anya and Clarke.

 

“I’ve told her how it is a few times so I think she’s good,” Anya replied turning to Lexa who nodded quickly, “Lexa has a strong head so you kind of have to give her tough love to get through to her.”

 

“Clarke, note that,” Octavia joked with a wink, “Tough love.”

 

“I’ve got to get some music on in here,” Jasper said with a shake of his head looking to Monty, “This is what I’ve been dealing with.”

 

“I know,” Monty laughed quietly, “Thankfully you have someone normal here to keep you company now.”

 

“I’m normal,” Bellamy chimed as he threw his phone towards Jasper to plug into the speakers Monty had brought to camp with him “And I have good music.”

 

As the night wore on, Lexa more observed the group rather than participated with the loud conversations that were happening over each other. She had edged herself up to the headboard of the bed, following Clarke and resting her head on the blonde’s shoulder as the younger girl took Lexa’s hand in her own and rested them against her thigh. She was warm and comfortable so she wasn’t surprised when her eyes started to become heavy, feeling the effects of a full day in the sun almost instantly. Lexa smiled to herself as she listened in on the conversations, the group talking about crazy times they had experienced in Texas; Anya chiming in every so often to mention something she had done in LA but it didn’t go unnoticed by the medical student that a lot of Anya’s attention was directed towards Raven. The group having consumed a substantial amount of alcohol between themselves, some having much more than others while Lexa opted to stay completely sober knowing it would do her no good after being in the sun all day. 

 

“You’re tired all of a sudden.” Clarke said quietly as she rested her head against Lexa’s.

 

“You don’t have lice do you?” Lexa questioned jokingly as she looked down to their hands, feeling a wave of warmth course through her body as she thought just how improbable it was for her to be back at Camp Jaha with someone whom she hadn’t seen in years but felt as if she should have been there with her all along.

 

“If I do then you do now too.” Clarke responded playfully, reaching her other hand to gently play with Lexa’s fingers.

 

“I’m sorry about Anya before.”

 

“No don’t be, she didn’t say anything that I didn’t already know or hadn’t thought before,” Clarke replied with a shrug, “I meant what I said too.”

 

“I know,” Lexa mumbled with a nod, her eyebrows creased as she concentrated her gaze on their adjoined hands, “Does your mom know about what’s going on?”

 

“Not yet but I will tell her,” Clarke replied confidently, “Once I get my bearings I will let her know, I just know she’s going to have a lot of questions so I just want to be ready for them.”

 

“That’s fine.” Lexa nodded.

 

“I do want to give this a serious shot, I feel like we kind of deserve that once the dust has settled.”

 

“I think so too,” Lexa responded quickly, pausing as she felt a chill run up her spine as Clarke gently dragged her nails over her forearm, “Have you spoken to Finn since he left?”

 

“I spoke to him when he got home, just to tell me that he got back safely,” Clarke answered honestly, “And I know it might be a bit awkward for you for a little while but I can’t just cut him off, I can’t do that.”

 

“I wouldn’t expect you to,” Lexa said with a shake of her head, “I can handle that, it’s fine.”

 

“But?”

 

“Nothing,” Lexa replied, holding her tongue until she could do so no more, “What’s going to happen when you go home? Will you stay in the apartment?”

 

“I’m not sure, probably because I won’t be there for any longer than a few weeks while I get all my stuff together,” Clarke answered honestly, “I hadn’t started packing because I didn’t know what was going to happen.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“I know it’s messy and I know I have a lot that I need to do but I also want to prove to you that you have nothing to worry about,” Clarke replied quietly, Lexa knowing the blonde was appreciative of the vulnerability that was being shown by the medical student, “And I’m not like Costia or anyone who has hurt you before, I don’t know if you know how much I care about you. I don’t even know if I know the amount I care about you yet.”

 

“I’m not worried,” Lexa said simply, “Maybe it makes me a little reluctant but you’ve already somehow pushed through the walls no one can ever get through but I do trust you.”

 

“And I have never done anything outside of a relationship until this summer, which I hate that I did but I didn’t know how to stop myself,” Clarke continued seriously, her raspy voice only breaking just above a whisper under the other sources of noise around her, “I didn’t know that whatever I thought I felt when I was younger would grow when I saw you or when I talked to you.”

 

“I still can’t believe you had a crush on me,” Lexa chuckled to herself quietly.

 

“Turns out I still do.”

 

“Okay, enough over there,” Bellamy called out from the side of the room, “There are other people in the room, you know.”

 

“What about them?” Lexa asked lifting her head from Clarke’s shoulder to glance at Octavia and Lincoln who were too busy making out to even know that the brunette was talking about them, “Clarke and I were just talking but your sister is almost swallowing her boyfriend whole.”

 

“That’s disgusting,” Clarke laughed from beside her as she picked up her phone to check the time, “It’s getting late though, maybe we should call it a night.”

 

“No way,” Raven said loudly as she turned to face Clarke, “It’s hardly even late.”

 

“It’s one in the morning,” Clarke replied in a deadpanned tone, “We have to be up at six.”

 

“Well we’re staying,” Monty called as he folded his arms, kicking Lincoln in the leg to break apart the couple, “And if we have a vote then we totally win.”

 

“It’s my cabin though.” Clarke countered.

 

“Yeah but it’s a democracy,” Jasper chimed in with a grin, “We’ll go to bed soon but we haven’t all been together since the end of the school year.”

 

“Which was just under two months ago,” Clarke replied with a sigh, “Fine, half an hour and then you’re gone.”

 

“What about Lexa?” Raven asked with a smirk, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively, “Are you kicking her out?”

 

“I’ll probably be asleep before then,” Lexa replied as she rested her head back against the headboard, rubbing her eyes roughly, “I might just go to bed now.”

 

“Nope,” Octavia said loudly as she separated herself from Lincoln’s body to stand in her place, “We might be minus one person in Finn but we’re bonding here, this is a new friendship group and we’re bonding here.”

 

“Half an hour of bonding,” Clarke said with a roll of her eyes, “I don’t want to be the old lady here but you’re all going to be tired tomorrow and I have a high ropes course to teach tomorrow so I need to be awake.”

 

“Yeah okay,” Octavia responded, folding her arms tightly to her chest, “I guess you kind of need to stay awake to keep them from falling.”

 

“You going to go with on that high ropes course?” Raven asked grinning as she looked at Lexa who just shook her head tiredly.

 

“Not a chance.”Lexa mumbled sleepily, closing her eyes slowly as she felt Clarke squeeze her hand gently.

 

“Maybe you should go to bed.” Clarke suggested as she whispered in Lexa’s ear, the warm breath on her skin waking her up slightly.

 

“I’m okay,” Lexa said sleepily, shrugging once more, “”I’ll go when everyone else goes.”

 

“I’m not sure you’ll last that long.” Clarke said quietly, her smile evident in her tone even though Lexa couldn’t see her face.

 

“I will.” The brunette responded, stifling a yawn with her other hand as Clarke gave the one in her grip a gentle squeeze.

 

She exhaled deeply, hearing the music and talk fade around her as she turned her attention to the feeling of Clarke’s nails dragging very gently against her forearm. The gentle contact alone, giving Lexa a warm and calm feeling that spread instantly through her body, seemingly making her heart rate slow and her mind become still as she felt herself drift off gradually.

 

The brunette heard loud laughter and conversation around her, opening her eyes to find herself sitting in the mess hall at en empty table; surrounded by the overcrowded tables filling the rest of the room. She looked down to her food tray and sighing quietly to herself as she heard loud voices talking about her so that she would be able to hear every single horrible word they were saying. She stood from the empty table, clenching her jaw to stop herself from showing any kind of emotion as she swept her hair to one side, chanting ‘one more year’ to herself in her mind and picked up her tray from below her.

 

“Where are you going?” One girl said with a smirk as she folded her arms in front of the brunette, standing in front of her so she couldn’t leave, “You can’t leave the mess hall to eat.”

 

“I just want to eat in peace.” Lexa mumbled with her eyes fixated on the floor, noticing that her voice was a little higher and realising she was dreaming about one of her Camp Jaha experiences when she was younger “I don’t care what you say about me but I just want to eat in peace.”

 

“You’re so weird,” A male camper said with a chuckle and a shake of his head, “No wonder no one likes you.”

 

“What did I do to you?” Lexa asked in a rare moment of defiance, her eyes leaving her tray to witness the group in front of her, “What did I ever do to you?”

 

“You came here,” The same female camper spoke as her smirk grew, “We don’t want you here looking at other girls, you don’t belong here.”

 

“I don’t want to be here more than you don’t want me here.” Lexa replied, her eyes dropping back to the ground.

 

“You should be in your own cabin, we don’t want you in any ours,” The girl added spitefully with a frown, “Who knows what you are thinking while we are sleeping in the same room as you.”

 

“Okay, don’t flatter yourself,” Lexa heard a voice say from beside her, turning her head to see the one girl who she could actually tolerate at Camp Jaha, “Just let her eat.”

 

“Pretty sad when a thirteen year old has to defend you.” The boy chuckled to himself but the stern look on Clarke’s face was enough to send them away and back to their own tables.

 

“You okay?” Clarke asked quietly, turning all of her attention to the older girl.

 

“You didn’t need to do that,” Lexa muttered with a sigh, sitting down slowly and placing her tray in front of her, “But thank you.”

 

“You’re welcome,” Clarke answered as she sat down next to Lexa at the table, shuffling closer to the older girl than necessary, “You shouldn’t let them talk to you like that.”

 

“It’s fine, it doesn’t bother me that much.” Lexa said simply with a shake of her head, glancing over her shoulder to see the same kids laughing and smirking as they whispered.

 

“I think it bothers you more than you say.” Clarke shrugged with a quiet sigh.

 

“How old are you actually?” Lexa asked, feeling a smile pull at her lips for the first time that week and appreciating the blonde next to her more than she could express, “I don’t really care anyway because I’m not coming back next year, my parents told me I can stay home by myself next summer so that’s exactly what I’m going to do.”

 

“You’d rather stay at home alone all summer?” Clarke raised her eyebrows, tilting her head with a look of confusion.

 

“At least if I’m home alone, no one can tease me.”

 

“There’s nothing wrong with you, I don’t know why they say what they do but you know that, right?” Clarke asked as she leaned a little closer towards the brunette, “I hope you come back though, it wouldn’t be the same without you.”

 

“I’m not coming back.” Lexa responded more to herself than to Clarke.

 

\---

 

Lexa’s eyes opened slowly, bringing a hand up to rub her eyes roughly and groaning slightly as the morning sun began creeping into the cabin. She felt warmth against her back, pausing as she realised that she wasn’t in her own cabin but she was still in Clarkes; where she must have fallen asleep last night. She felt Clarke’s body pressed into her back, looking down to see an arm was wrapped around her waist, clinging to the front of her shirt tightly; bringing a sleepy smile to Lexa’s face. She had been having dreams all night about past experiences she had endured at Camp Jaha, never expecting to wake up next to the very girl she had been speaking to in her dreams; the one girl who had defended her fiercely every summer with no reluctance.

 

“Good morning,” She heard Clarke’s raspy voice whisper quietly, her warm breath against the back of Lexa’s neck sending chills down her spine, “You fell asleep here last night so we kind of just decided to leave you sleeping, I hope that’s okay.”

 

“Sorry I fell asleep in your bunk.” Lexa muttered to herself, swallowing thickly and wondering whether she had just felt the contact of Clarke’s lips on her skin or whether she had just imagined it, “I guess I was more tired than I thought.”

 

“It’s okay.” Clarke responded sincerely, her voice still thick with sleep.

 

“I kept dreaming about camp,” Lexa admitted, quickly making the decision to roll over to face the blonde; a wide smile on Clarke’s face as they laid so close that their foreheads were almost touching, “Hi.”

 

“Hey,” Clarke’s smile reached her sleepy eyes and that’s all it took for Lexa to know that she was in the right place, “So you kept dreaming about camp?”

 

“Yeah, I kept dreaming about things that happened when we were younger,” Lexa said with a furrowed brow, her own voice scratchy against her throat with sleep, “It was pretty weird.”

  
“Why was it weird?” Clarke asked as she reached her hand up to gently sweep a stray lock of hair obstructing the brunette’s eyes, smiling as she did so.

 

“I don’t know, I just haven’t had those dreams in a long time,” Lexa mumbled, closing her eyes momentarily at the contact before Clarke pulled her hand away to rest in front of her, “Thank you for always defending me when we were young. I really shouldn’t have relied on someone younger than me to defend me but you were the only one.”

 

“Someone had to.” Clarke joked, exhaling deeply as her gaze darted between Lexa’s lips and her eyes, “I need to get up, I have to get to the high ropes course and make sure everything is there and secure before I take the campers down.”

 

“Do you need any help?” The brunette offered with a small smile, reaching out to take Clarke’s hand gently,

 

“You’re saying that now but when we get there, you’ll probably run.” Clarke smirked with a shake of her head.

 

“Probably,” Lexa agreed with a nod, “I’ll get out of your hair. Thank you for letting me sleep here, you could have kicked me out.”

 

“Honestly, you looked a little too peaceful to move.” Clarke admitted, bringing the brunette’s hand to her mouth and placing a very gently kiss atop her knuckles before releasing her grip.

 

Lexa groaned as she sat up, rubbing her eyes roughly once more and running her hand through her messy hair. She felt Clarke’s fingers scratching at her back gently through the material of her shirt and the full feeling in her chest returned, making it difficult for the brunette to leave the room. She stood from the bed without saying anything, turning around to see a still very sleepy and dishevelled Clarke grinning at her; her stomach stirring a little bit as she chuckled at the blonde before giving her an awkward wave and turning to leave the cabin.

 

“Hey,” Clarke spoke abruptly as Lexa placed her hand on the door, forcing the older girl to turn around once more, “I’m always going to defend you, okay? I know we started off weirdly here but I’m still just me, I’m still that girl that looked up to you and had a giant crush on you, even when you didn’t see it.”

 

“I don’t need anyone to defend me anymore,” Lexa said quietly, shaking her head quickly, “But I know you would and that’s what counts.”

 

“I’ll see you at breakfast?”

 

“I’ll be there.” Lexa confirmed quietly, sighing as she paused to turn around, “Anya is going to grill me about this.”

 

“We literally just slept.” Clarke reasoned with a shrug, gathering her hair to tie it at the top of her head in a messy bun.

 

“I know that but I don’t know if she’ll believe me.”

 

“Tell her I don’t move that fast,” Clarke said with wide eyes.

 

“I’ll see you soon.” Lexa said with a small wave again, her hand not being raised past her hip before she made her way out the door, closing it quietly behind her.

 

She had to pause, as she stood out the door and the sun hit her eyes, she had to pause to regain her bearings. She also had to pause because she had just spent the night in Clarke’s cabin, she certainly hadn’t expected too but something just made her feel whole waking up next to the blonde and having her cuddled up next to her. Lexa walked back to her cabin with the widest smile her face could muster for that early in the morning, her cheeks almost hurting from just how wide she was smile.

 

“Before you say anything,” Lexa began quietly as she began to open the cabin door, pausing very quickly with wide eyes at the sight in front of her. Anya and Raven were on Anya’s bunk together, Lexa seeing much more of the two than she had ever wanted to see after they clearly had been very busy making use of the empty cabin. Lexa had to stifle a laugh, knowing that her best friend wouldn’t be the least bit embarrassed by their current positions but the medical student wouldn’t ever pass up the chance to possibly make the older girl uncomfortable. She closed the door very quietly, rushing back over to Clarke’s and knocking on the door only to have the blonde standing in front of her again moments later.

 

“Hi there,” Clarke said in an amused tone.

 

“So your best friend slept with my best friend last night and they’re still naked, barely covered in my cabin.” Lexa admitted, eyes wide that matched the wide smirk pulling at her lips, “I just walked in and they’re both still asleep”

 

“Well I can’t say I’m surprised,” Clarke furrowed her eyebrows as she held open the door for Lexa with a small smile on her face, “Come on in and you can hang out here until they’re awake and clothed. I just have to go and have a shower but there’s plenty of time before breakfast so just stay here.”

 

“Clothed is the preferable state for both of them,” Lexa nodded with an appreciative smile as she stepped back inside the cabin, “Thankfully I passed out here instead of in there.”

 

“That could have been horrific.” Clarke replied as she chuckled to herself, closing the door quietly, “Good thing you can come and hang out in here whenever you want.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? 
> 
> I will update soon :)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I'm so sorry this took way longer than usual! Life has been getting in the way of writing (Very inconsiderate of it I say) but I hope you enjoy this chapter! Thanks for the comments, I appreciate every single one of them.

Lexa’s heart was beating so rapidly that she felt as if it was about to burst through her chest, her fingertips felt as if they could wield the electricity that was coursing through her veins and her lungs burned due to the lack of oxygen she was receiving but she couldn’t stop herself. One hand found itself tangled in Clarke’s blonde hair at the back of her head, gripping tightly whilst the other rested on the younger girl’s waist, exposing the soft skin of her hip, only aiding the feeling of her body being completely on fire. She had settled herself on top of Clarke, positioning her body between the blonde’s legs as her hips pinned the younger girl down against her bunk; being rewarded with quiet sounds of satisfaction whenever she shifted. Clarke quickly moved her hand to grip the back of Lexa’s neck firmly, keeping the brunette in place while her other hand stayed planted on the older girl’s lower back; pressing her hips further into her own.

 

Lexa had only come to Clarke’s cabin to walk up with the other girl to the mess hall so they could help set up for the scheduled games night, the brunette being free from lake duties for the day had offered her assistance to Abby and the blonde. She wasn’t exactly sure how they ended up in that position, they had been talking briefly about their morning and the next thing she realised was that she was on top of Clarke, kissing her to the point that she could think of nothing else but the girl below her. It was the first time they had kissed since they had encountered each other in the bathroom, now two weeks ago and the girls had been growing impossibly closer but Lexa had waited patiently for Clarke to make the first move. Lexa felt Clarke playfully bite down on her lower lip, the tiniest of whimpers leaving her throat without her permission; Clarke smiling widely into the brunette’s lips as their lips continued to move steadily together.

 

“We should probably stop, we’ve been gone a while,” Lexa mumbled as she finally broke the kiss, only to move to the pulse point of Clarke’s neck, gently nipping at her skin before soothing the tiny sting with her lips “We were supposed to be in the mess hall ten minutes ago.”

 

“We should never stop this,” Clarke exhaled shakily as her grip increased on the back of Lexa’s neck, “I’m not sure that should be an option.”

 

Lexa chuckled into the soft skin of Clarke’s neck, taking her earlobe between her teeth playfully and gently; hearing the blonde inhale sharply before feeling herself being pulled back towards the younger girl’s face where her lips were captured once more. Her body involuntarily pushed itself further into Clarke’s as her hand released its grip of the back of her neck so she could cup Lexa’s cheek gently as they kissed. Lexa’s hand slipped further under Clarke’s shirt, her skin smouldering at the brunette’s touch as each of their senses began to light up and their awareness of what was going on around them seemed to fade away. They had been dealing with a lot of pent up feelings, Lexa had only guessed from their first two kisses that their physical chemistry was just as undeniable as their draw to each other. Everything just felt magnified to the medical student now that she knew she was doing no wrong by kissing the blonde in the manner that she deserved; holding her so close as if she was afraid she would slip out from underneath her if she loosened her grip. It confirmed to Lexa exactly what she had assumed; it confirmed to her that Clarke had some kind of hold over the brunette that she might not have ever been able to comprehend.

 

“Lexa, I don’t want to stop,” Clarke muttered in between kisses, shaking her head slightly, “I don’t know if I can.”

 

“Clarke, are you in here?” They heard a split second too late as the door opened, causing the two girls to separate quicker than they thought possible; Lexa’s eyes widening as she saw Abby standing at the very front of the cabin with her eyes averted to the floor and her eyebrows raised, “Oh”

 

“Oh god,” Lexa mumbled with wide eyes as she stood and straightened her Camp Jaha shirt, feeling all the blood that had been coursing furiously through her body being quickly diverted to her face “I was just…”

 

“It’s okay,” Abby reassured the brunette as she kept her eyes focussed on the ground, “I just wanted to talk to Clarke quickly before you both go and set up.”

 

“Uh sure,” Lexa muttered as she glanced back to Clarke who was still sitting in the very centre of the bed, quickly trying to tame her hair by running her fingers through it roughly “I will…see you up there.”

 

“Yeah.” Clarke said reassuringly with the smallest of smiles, sending a wave of relief through Lexa’s body seeing that the blonde was able to meet her eyes at the very least after what had just happened.

 

“She won’t be long,” Abby nodded as she stepped aside for Lexa to exit from the cabin, the medical student unable to leave the room fast enough.

 

Lexa rushed out of the cabin and began her quick walk up towards the mess hall, wondering how Abby Griffin could make her feel so terrified even though she was quite fond of the Camp Jaha owner. She felt like a teenager who had just been caught making out with someone she was forbidden from seeing; her anxiety levels had risen the more she began to think about the fact that Clarke’s mom had walked in on them heavily making out on her daughters bed. Lexa’s stomach churned as she arrived at the mess hall, feeling colour drain from her face as the realisation of what had just happened sunk in.

 

“You can’t just stand there, we need your help,” She heard a loud, deep voice beside her as she felt a strong hand clamp gently on her shoulder, causing her to jump in surprise, “Wow, are you okay?”

 

“Yeah,” Lexa responded with wide eyes as she looked to Gustus who had a wide smirk on his face, “You just scared me.”

 

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Gustus responded, moving to stand in front of Lexa as she instantly started to try and piece her thoughts together so she could hold a functional conversation, “I have heard of a certain haunted cabin here.”

 

“A few weeks ago, I would have probably believed that.” Lexa reached up to pinch the bridge of her nose tightly, trying to bring her heartbeat down without looking completely unstable, “No, I just feel a little dizzy suddenly.”

 

“Well, can you feel dizzy later?” Gustus asked with a quiet chuckle, “I’m short on hands and I need to get this done pretty quickly.”

 

“Yeah, sure.” Lexa responded as more of a grunt than an actual sentence as her hand moved to rub the back of her neck; Gustus folded his arms against his chest as his smirk only grew.

 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” He questioned with a cocked eyebrow.

 

“So what do you need me to do?” Lexa kept her hand on her neck as she looked around the room that needed to be completely cleared from breakfast, noticing that Gustus only had a handful of people helping him out, “What do you set up for a games night?”

 

“I just need rows of chairs set up and the tables stacked in the corner, I’m not sure you can carry as many as you did last time but if you could do it at that speed, I would appreciate it because I have to get down to my group.” Gustus responded as he moved towards a table nearby, pushing chairs away from a table and picking it up with ease before looking back to the brunette, “And yes, that was a challenge.”

 

“If you think that challenging me like that will make me work quicker,” Lexa began to speak as she approached another table, pulling the chairs away so she could move it, “You’re right, challenge once again accepted.”

 

“I’m going to bet that I could easily double what you put away,” Gustus remarked as he placed his first table down in the corner of the room after unlatching the legs, standing with his hands on his hips proudly as he watched Lexa eyeing him curiously, “I like competition.”

 

“I can see that.” Lexa responded slowly, laying her table on its side.

 

3 tables later, Lexa kneeled next to a particularly old one that she realized Gustus had been avoiding; cursing it under her breath as she struggled to collapse the legs. She heard Gustus laughing heartily to himself as he watched her without offering assistance, easily carrying two tables over to the corner of the room; the two almost clearing the tables on their own. Her little competition with Gustus was a nice distraction from what she was trying to avoid thinking about; not wanting to remember she would have to deal with the fact that Abby had walked in on her and Clarke making out pretty heavily in the blonde’s cabin.

 

 She pushed on the leg aggressively; only seconds away from picking it up and throwing it as far as she could when she saw Abby kneel down in front of her with a small smile on her face. Wordlessly, she shifted the table legs from Lexa’s grip, gently folding the legs of the table down as if there was no problem to begin with. Lexa heard Gustus’ laughter only amplify in the background but it was quickly washed out by the sound of her heartbeat thumping in her chest as Abby looked towards her once more, her patient smile still present on her face.

 

“Can I borrow you for a second?” Abby asked cautiously, standing from her position to look down at the medical student.

 

“Uh, sure.” Lexa responded with a shaky tone, swallowing thickly as she watched Abby begin to walk outside and almost stumbling over the table she had just set down as she followed the older woman as quickly as she could.

 

“It’s okay; I just want to talk for a minute.” Abby said as she took in the worried expression of the younger girl as they stood outside the doors of the mess hall, Lexa fidgeting with her fingers as her hands were clasped tightly together in front of her.

 

“I promise you that all we were doing was kissing,” Lexa said carefully as her eyes left her hands to meet Abby’s, the camp director watching her closely “And we weren’t in there for long.”

  
“Clarke is a big girl, she can make her own choices and I knew this was going to happen one way or another because honestly, something has always been there between you both. I know she has broken up with Finn and I know that had nothing to do with you and everything to do with attending UCLA,” Abby spoke quickly but Lexa could tell she was choosing her words carefully, “I think you can probably understand that I’m just a bit worried that Clarke could be moving a little too quickly than what she might realise.”

 

“Are you worried she might be moving too quickly because it’s with me?” Lexa questioned quietly, her eyes dropping to her toes as she wiggled them quickly inside of her shoes and feeling Abby’s gaze bare down on her even heavier than it had been before.

 

“If you’re asking whether it’s because you’re a girl, it’s not. That doesn’t bother me at all; I’m just worried that Clarke is still trying to figure things out. I just don’t want her going from one thing to another without having time to think about what’s happened with Finn. They were together for a long time and I’m not sure that another relationship is exactly what she needs immediately.” The older woman explained cautiously, Lexa’s jaw clenching at the Abby’s admission, meeting eyes with Abby once more.

 

“I can’t say anything but agree to that, I think that Clarke has done a lot of thinking though about this and for the first time in a while; she knows what she wants,” Lexa explained with a soft tone, picking her chin up as she continued and straightening her shoulders as she spoke of the other girl, “I know this is probably completely cliché of me to say this, but I do just want the best for Clarke and I think her going to UCLA is what’s best for her.  Clarke and I are taking it really slow, what you saw this morning was not a reflection of the pace we are going.”

 

“I know that and I don’t want to stand in the way because I can see that she’s happier than she has been for a while when she is around you but I’m just asking you to be careful with her. Just make sure you are both in a position emotionally to let this continue like we both know it will.”

 

“I will be more than careful with her.” Lexa answered seriously, swallowing thickly as she felt her chest tighten at even the thought of some kind of future with Clarke in LA, something that had very quickly gone from a possibility to a probability.

 

“Okay, thank you. That’s all I needed to hear, I promise I will wait for Clarke to say come in next time.” Abby said with an awkward smile, placing her hand on Lexa’s shoulder and giving a quick squeeze before walking past her to the inside, leaving the young brunette standing by the door alone. She blinked quickly, turning on her heel to look back inside the mess hall as Abby began to help pull down tables, Lexa’s heartbeat only catching up with her at that point upon realisation that she had just been given the talk by Clarke’s mother.

 

“She got to you before I did, huh?” Clarke asked as she appeared beside the brunette, a smirk evident in her tone.

 

“She did.” Lexa nodded with wide eyes as she turned to the blonde who was stifling a quiet chuckle.

 

“Sorry,” Clarke apologised, her eyes darting between Lexa’s, “I tried to beat her up here but I had to go into the office for her quickly. What did she say?”

 

“Nothing out of the ordinary.” Lexa responded with a shrug, bringing her hand up to cover her eyes in embarrassment, “Clarke, she saw us making out on your bed.”

 

“I know, it certainly wasn’t the way I wanted her to find out about us but it happened.” Clarke responded with a small shrug, reaching out to take Lexa’s hand away from her face but keeping a hold of the brunette’s hand as it dropped down to her side, “And in a way, it kind of gets the awkwardness of telling her done.”

 

“In a way.” Lexa said flatly, shaking her head quickly as she exhaled deeply, “Oh god.”

 

“My mom has walked in on us making out, at least that means if something else happens later, it won’t be as awkward.” Clarke reasoned positively, unable to stop the laughter she was trying to hold in, “And it kind of makes me think anyway.”

 

“Made you think about what?” The brunette questioned quietly, her heart dropping for a moment as she wondered whether maybe Clarke had come to a realisation that she had moved too fast.

 

“What are you doing tonight?” Clarke asked curiously, gesturing to the mess hall behind her, “That is if you weren’t going to the games night.”

“If I wasn’t going to the games night?” Lexa raised an eyebrow, Clarke only nodding in response, “Well, nothing because I have to be at games night.”

 

“I talked to my mom and I don’t really think she needs you tonight, so I figured maybe we could do something. I mean we haven’t even had a single date or anything so I thought we could hang out. Just us two,” Clarke suggested hopefully, her smirk had slowly shifted to a warm smile, “What do you think?”

 

“I’d love that.” Lexa responded almost instantly after the younger girl had finished talking, feeling Clarke squeeze her hand gently before letting it go slowly.

 

“Awesome.” Clarke’s grin widened as she took a step backwards from Lexa, “I’ve got to go catch up with my cabin group but I’ll come and find you later.”

 

“Okay.” Lexa nodded, seemingly dumbfounded by the way her morning had panned out.

 

She had been walked in on by Abby as she kissed Clarke for the very first time since the blonde had become single, she had then been taken aside by Abby and given a talk essentially about being responsible with her daughters heart and finally, Clarke decided they should go on their first date inside the camp.

 

“You do realise I am crushing you, right?” Gustus called from inside the mess hall, standing with his hands resting on his hips and a large smirk on his face, “This isn’t even close anymore.”

 

“I’m coming back.” Lexa called with a shaky tone, running a hand through her hair roughly before exhaling and walking back into the mess hall; making sure to avoid Abby’s eye contact as much as she possibly could.

 

\---

 

Lexa sat with her back against the foot of her bed, hugging her knees to her chest; making her body as small as she possibly could. She was nervous, for some reason even after having spent so much time with Clarke over the past few weeks at camp, she was nervous as soon as anything was labelled a date. Her heart was beating out of her chest while she waited for Clarke to knock on the door of her cabin, not telling Lexa a thing about what they were going to be doing and wanting to keep it a surprise. It made Lexa feel a little uneasy not knowing, she liked to be in control, she didn’t like surprises and although she appreciated the effort; she just wish she knew what was going on.

 

The cabin door opened quickly, Anya pausing as she saw her best friend sitting on the floor by the edge of her bed, looking fragile enough that she could break at any moment.

 

“Are you okay?” Anya asked, raising an eyebrow as she closed the cabin door behind her quietly.

 

“I feel sick,” Lexa said honestly with a shake of her head, “I’m too nervous to move.”

 

“Why are you nervous?” Anya questioned with a shake of her head, “You have been spending time with Clarke almost every day for over 4 weeks now. You get out of games night and you get to go spend time with Clarke, so it’s a win win for you.”

 

“I know, you know what I’m like when it’s labelled a date though, I freak out.” Lexa responded as she looked up to her friend who had a small smile on her face, shaking her head and moving to take a seat next to the younger girl.

 

“Actually I do remember when you had your first date with Costia, you were a basket case,” Anya laughed quietly to herself as she wrapped her arm gently around Lexa’s shoulders, “You’ll be fine, it’s not like you two are just getting to know each other. You passed the awkward stage when you weren’t even dating.”

 

“Nope, I’m pretty sure we could still be in the awkward part,” Lexa admitted quietly, pausing as she contemplated whether to tell Anya what had happened this morning but knowing she would find out one way or another, “So Clarke and I got a little caught up this morning and Abby walked in while it was happening.”

 

“What?” Anya asked loudly, scooting back from Lexa so she could look the medical student in the eyes, “What were you two doing?”

 

“We were just kissing, I mean it was pretty heavy but it was just kissing,” Lexa stressed, her voice muffled as she rested her forehead against her knees, “I don’t know how it happened, it’s the first time we’ve even done that since she broke up with Finn but Abby walked in and I’m still cringing about it.”

 

“Oh god, that’s the best thing I have ever heard,” Anya responded as laughter broke through her expression, earning a glare from the younger girl who looked up at her friend, “You were only kissing, Abby was young once too.”

 

“But that’s her daughter!” Lexa exclaimed with a shake of her head, “And then she took me aside while I was up at the mess hall and she gave me the protective parent talk without actually giving the protective parent talk. She was being really nice about it because she probably knew I would freak out like this.”

 

“You are so weird, you have this hard exterior and then when something like this happens, you just crumble.” Anya chuckled to herself with a shake of her head, “You’re fine, so she walked in on you two making out but at least that was it.”

 

“I know but that’s not how I wanted Abby to find out about us, that’s what bothers me the most.” Lexa explained with a shrug, letting out a long sigh at the end of her sentence.

 

“I know that but it’s done now, you can’t be hung up on it,” Anya responded with an encouraging pat to the younger girls knee, “What are you and Clarke doing for your cute little camp date?”

 

“I don’t know yet,” Lexa shrugged quickly, “You’re going to the games night?”

 

“Yeah but Raven and I are going to try and sneak out,” Anya said playfully with a wink, “And you walked in on us after the cabin party, I wasn’t as embarrassed as you were and we were naked.”

 

“Well I saw that for myself.” Lexa responded instantly with a quick nod, “It’s different, I’m not your mom and you weren’t making out when I walked in.”

 

“It’s the same thing though.” Anya replied as quickly as Lexa had previously, opening her mouth to say something else but was interrupted by a quiet knock on the door, “You’re up.”

 

“If you and Raven are going to sneak out of games night, can you go to her cabin so I don’t walk in on your doing anything?” Lexa asked, pushing herself up from her position to stand quickly, almost tripping over her own feet as she opened the door and pausing as she saw Clarke with a wide grin on her face and a sparkle in her eyes that made her heart thump loudly in her ears, “Hey.”

 

“Hi,” Clarke said as her grin stayed present on her face, holding her hand out for Lexa to take, “Are you ready to go?”

 

“Where are we going?”

 

“You’ll figure that out as soon as we start walking.” Clarke conceded with a shrug.

 

“Go, Lexa,” Anya said from behind her best friend, standing with her hands on her hips as she watched the two with a smile on her face, “Now don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

 

“That leaves me with a wide range of options.” Lexa responded, glancing over her shoulder before taking Clarke’s hand in her own and linking their fingers together, feeling Clarke tug her out the door, “I’ll see you later.”

 

“Have fun.” Anya waved her friend off as she was tugged away by the blonde.

 

“So your mom gave us this time off even after she saw us this morning?” Lexa asked curiously as she began her walk with the blonde, giving her hand a small squeeze.

 

“It’s not such a big deal if we don’t make it out to be, she’s fine.” Clarke said in the most reassuring voice as she could possibly muster.

 

“I know but weren’t you mortified like I was?”

 

“She’s walked into worse,” Clarke admitted reluctantly, awkwardly shrugging as she kept her eyes on the path in front of her, “Yeah, it wasn’t the way I wanted her to find out but she knows and it’s fine.”

 

“I don’t want to know what she has walked in on,” Lexa began to speak, pausing as her mind ticked over, “I’m kind of curious, but not enough to want to actually know.”

 

“No, I didn’t think you would be,” Clarke chuckled quietly to herself, sighing quietly as she glanced to the brunette with a warm smile on her face, “Do you know what we’re doing yet?”

 

“We’re going to the lake.” Lexa nodded quickly.

 

“It was either that or the high ropes course and I thought you might like the lake more,” Clarke said with a grin as she swung their arms slightly between them, “I know it’s lame but I thought it was kind of fitting because of all the time we have spent there together.”

 

“It’s an excellent alternative to the high ropes course,” Lexa replied with wide eyes but a smile still evident on her face

 

They walked down to the lake with their hands still linked, enjoying the small talk about whatever would come to their minds; Lexa recognising the significance that comfort was to her. She had never felt so at ease or so free when she was with someone like she felt when she was with Clarke, the blonde accepted Lexa for who she was and she didn’t expect her to try and be anything else but herself. She felt like things came naturally to them, like they could somehow communicate subtly between each other without even having to say a word and feeling a safety with the blonde that she had never experienced before. When she looked at Clarke, seeing the blue eyes that looked back at her she saw a mixture of adoration and hunger directed towards her; wondering how a different things would have been if she had stayed at camp and Clarke confessed her middle school crush on Lexa. She knew that things were working out just how they were supposed to, they were there in the right moment at the right time and everything that had happened previously to that moment; although heartbreaking had lead them to the path of the lake where they were to have their first date.

 

The brunette paused momentarily as she saw a blanket laid out by the edge of the boardwalk, multiple containers of food sitting next to the blanket in a bag. Clarke tugging her towards the blanket and taking her shoes off before sitting down, looking up expectantly at the brunette to follow.

 

“Lame, I know but it’s all I could think of,” Clarke said with a shrug as she gestured to the empty space next to her, “You should sit down so we can eat.”

 

“I’m honestly surprised this food is still out here with the animals.” Lexa replied with a quiet laugh, obliging the other girls request and taking a seat next to the blonde after she had taken her shoes off. She smiled to herself as she felt the cool water against her feet, lightly splashing her feet in the water while she heard Clarke rustle the containers from the bag, “This is great.”

 

“So I’m sorry I kind of jumped you this morning, I hadn’t really planned on doing that when you came in,” Clarke admitted, handing Lexa a container of food and a fork, “I don’t know, I just couldn’t stop myself from kissing you but now I kind of feel like I attacked you.”

 

“See, I still don’t know what happened,” Lexa laughed to herself with a shake of her head, “I’m definitely not complaining but I don’t think I was conscious for the beginning of it, I’ve figured out though that my mind gets extremely clouded whenever I kiss you.”

 

“I know the feeling.”

 

“And honestly, it was all I could think about today,” Lexa admitted quietly as she pushed some salad around mindlessly in the container that was now resting on her lap, “This whole going slow thing is harder than I thought it would be.”

 

“Yeah I know,” Clarke agreed with a quick nod, “I kind of expected that though.”

 

“You did?”

 

“Well, I couldn’t stop myself from kissing you when I shouldn’t have and now that I can, I think my willpower is almost non-existent.” The blonde explained slowly, sighing loudly but a smile still holding on her lips, “I couldn’t stop thinking about it either.”

 

“And then I remember that your mom walked in on us making out,” Lexa said with a groan, her head tilting up to look at the sky but for the first time, grinning as she remembered the situation, “If it were my parents, they probably wouldn’t have noticed someone was in the room with me.”

 

“Did your parents see Costia much?” Clarke asked curiously.

 

“They did, only when we went to visit them though. My mom actually never really liked her, which now I guess I can appreciate but they have visited me a couple of times at the most,” The medical student shrugged casually, letting her head rest on Clarke’s shoulder momentarily, “I don’t know whether they actually know that we broke up or not.”

 

“You said that before,” Clarke nodded as she pressed further, “Why do you think that when they know you went to Europe?”

 

“I don’t know, they just don’t take a lot of interest so I wouldn’t be surprised if they thought we went to Europe together,” Lexa shrugged lightly, picking her head up from the blonde’s shoulder, “You’re talking to the girl whose parents went away for Summer every year even when I was home by myself.”

 

“You must have had some crazy summers then,” Clarke joked lightly, nudging the older girl in the ribs gently, “It would have been pretty awesome having what I imagine was a massive house all to yourself.”

 

“It was fun sometimes,” Lexa smiled more at Clarke’s contact than her own words, “I don’t know, you say that your mom is too intense and I say that my parents aren’t intense enough.”

 

“Are you going to visit them before you go back to LA?”

 

“No, there’s no need to.” Lexa shrugged simply, “Honestly, I’m not even sure if they are home.”

 

“You haven’t checked if they are home or not?” Clarke asked with a surprised tone, Lexa meeting her confused expression with an even smile.

 

“I haven’t spoken to them since I got here, they weren’t happy with me going to Europe and that’s fine. They don’t understand that I had to go because they probably don’t even know why I went,” The brunette explained simply, “I know I sound like a poor little rich kid, emphasis on the poor right now but honestly, I would have killed for the relationship you have with your parents. They sent me here because they wanted to have a summer away without me, not because they wanted me to spend my summer with other kids. They’re busy all the time and I’m busy so we don’t get to talk all that much, that’s just how things are.”

 

“Well I for one am glad they sent you here.”

 

“Well yeah, now I am too,” Lexa sighed softly, “Maybe I should call them.”

 

“You should,” Clarke reasoned quietly, “You might not have the closest relationship with them but you still have both of your parents and you should appreciate that they’re still around.”

 

“You’ve got to stop doing that.” Lexa muttered thoughtfully, shaking her head quickly.

 

“Stop doing what?” Clarke asked with a confused expression.

 

“Stop being right all the time,” Lexa smirked as she spoke slowly, “It’s not fair and it needs to stop.”

 

“I’ll remember you said that,” Clarke replied with a hearty laugh, pressing a quick and gentle kiss to Lexa’s cheek before turning her attention back to the food resting in her lap, “My mom really likes you though, you know that. She just gave you that speech because ever since Dad died, she thinks she has to be both parents.”

 

“She loves you and she just wants the best for you,” Lexa shrugged without having to think about her reply for too long, “I get that, I just want what’s best for you too.”

 

“I know you do.” The blonde spoke timidly, Lexa’s attention being drawn to Clarke pushing her food around in the container with her fork as her mind clearly drifted somewhere else other than where they were sitting.

 

“You okay?” Lexa asked cautiously, eyeing the blonde closely beside her as she heard her stomach grumble quietly; unhappy about the fact that it was being neglected when there was food right in front of her.

 

“I’m just trying to let this all kind of sink in, trying to just stay in this moment for as long as possible,” Clarke replied with an air of distraction still in her tone, “My mom came to find me this morning because she wanted to tell me that she’s decided to sell Camp Jaha, she was offered some really good money and if I’m gone in LA, she couldn’t manage it by herself.”

 

“Oh wow,” Lexa placed her container of food down beside her so she could wrap her arm gently around Clarke’s waist, gripping at the material of her shirt tightly, “So that’s what she wanted to talk to you about this morning?”

 

“Yeah, that was what she wanted when she walked in on us,” Clarke responded, letting her head rest on Lexa’s shoulder with a deep sigh, “I mean it’s totally mom’s choice and I completely understand why she needs to sell it. In a lot of ways, maybe we need to move on and now’s probably the best time to do that seeing as I will be in LA. It might just be a little difficult leaving here at the end of this summer, I know you didn’t really love this place but this is where you and I grew up every summer for a long time. It was somewhere that I got to spend some really great times with my dad, but I get it, Mom probably is reminded of that too and that can’t be easy.”

 

“You’re not feeling guilty are you?” Lexa questioned quietly, her feet still moving within the water below them slowly, “For the fact that your mom can’t do this alone and you won’t be here?”

 

“I can’t help but feel a little guilty but I know she doesn’t want me to, she made that clear.”

 

“You can’t, Clarke. You want to go to UCLA and you’re allowed to do that for you.” Lexa reassured the younger girl with a firm tone, her fist closing over the material on Clarke’s shirt.

 

“I know.” Clarke answered simply, “I know a lot of kids really love coming here too so they’ll be disappointed but it’s probably the right time for this all to happen.”

 

“I’m sure they will be.” Lexa responded, resting her head atop of Clarke’s after placing a very quick kiss on the top of the blonde’s head, “So will you have to stay here longer after camp then to pack this place up?”

 

“I don’t know yet, I have to go back to the apartment I shared with Finn and pack up all my stuff,” Clarke added reluctantly with a sigh, “It could take a little bit to get everything together seeing as we’ve lived there for so long but I don’t want to be in there longer than I have to be. It’s his apartment and he said I could stay there in a different room while I get everything together, it’s going to be really awkward but there’s no point staying anywhere else.”

 

“Oh, of course.” Lexa’s stomach dropped at the thought, already knowing that Clarke was going to have to do so but she hadn’t really considered the fact that Finn would still be in there as well. “Yeah, that makes sense.”

 

“And I need to find accommodation for LA while I’m back in Texas, I’ve started looking already but I haven’t found anything yet so I’m hoping something will turn up soon or I’ll be living on the streets for a little while.” Clarke muttered, more to herself than to Lexa and placing her hand on the brunette’s thigh.

 

“Well I mean if you are desperate, you could stay with me just until you find somewhere to stay,” Lexa offered reluctantly after a few moments of silence had passed between the pair, not wanting to be a walking stereotype but also not wanting the woman she cared so greatly about already to be without somewhere to sleep, “Just for as long as you need to get yourself on your feet in LA.”

 

“You’re kind of amazing. You know that, right?” Clarke shifted her head so she could look the brunette directly in the eyes, leaning in to rest her forehead against Lexa’s, “Thank you but I can’t do that, I need to find my own space and I need to start in LA on my own two feet but I would appreciate you being around to show me LA.”

 

“I can do that,” Lexa’s eyes fluttered closed as a small smile tugged on her lips, unable to help herself when she sighed shakily, “I guess that’s going to be difficult going back to Texas and seeing Finn again knowing that you’re just going to have to leave after packing up your life.”

 

“It’s going to be stressful,” Clarke stated simply, pulling her forehead away from Lexa’s and commanding the older girl’s eye contact and only continuing once she could see that she had it, “And I know what you’re thinking, I’m not going to hurt you and I’m not going to change my mind. I’ve said it before and I know we started things off a little backwards, I know that it wasn’t ideal but I want to be with you. We’re taking our time, I get that but I just want you to know right now that I want a relationship with you; I want all of that so don’t think anything will change when I see Finn again.”

 

“And you just knew I was thinking that?” Lexa raised her eyebrows, looking at Clarke sceptically who just nodded with a grin.

 

“Yep.” She shrugged quickly, leaning in quickly to place a soft and patient kiss on Lexa’s lips before pulling away, “We should actually eat something, I heard your stomach the whole time we were talking then.”

“Yeah, sorry.” Lexa said sheepishly, giving Clarke’s waist a squeeze before withdrawing her arm and picking up her dinner once more to rest on her lap.

 

\---

 

They had been sitting out by the lake for hours, having finished their dinner some time ago they decided to stay out there for as long as they could stay awake; it was proving to be a bit of a challenge but neither of them wanted end the evening just yet. Things hadn’t been awkward between the pair once, their conversation had flowed with ease and when there was silence, it was completely comfortable. Lexa couldn’t make sense of it in her mind even when she tried, she couldn’t understand why things felt so easy with Clarke and why she found such comfort with a girl she had known since she was young.

 

“So are you guys asleep or have you just been out here for so long that you can’t say anything else to each other?” They heard the amused voice of Raven from behind them, Lexa jumping the other girl pulled her quickly from her thoughts.

 

“What are you doing down here?” Clarke asked as she moved her head from Lexa’s shoulder to look at her friend, pausing as she saw Raven standing with their entire friendship group whom were all dressed in their swimsuits with winning smiles on each of their faces “And what are you all doing down here?”

 

“You guys have been down here for hours, games night is over and it’s past lights out so we thought we’d come down for a late night swim.” Octavia shrugged, glancing to Lincoln before dropping her towel and rushing towards the water; unapologetically jumping in right in front of the two girls.

 

“You’ve had the lake for long enough.” Jasper said as he followed Octavia’s lead, prompting Lincoln, Bellamy and Monty to do the same, ensuring they splashed Clarke and Lexa on the way in.

 

“So I guess our date is over.” Clarke said with raised eyebrows as she watched her friends mess around in the water, splashing them enough to make them stand from the edge of the boardwalk.

 

“Then you might as well jump in too.” Raven offered as she intentionally pushed between the two girls, cannonballing into the walker and leaving Lexa stunned at the fact that Clarke’s friends had come down to the lake so quickly and so unapologetically.

 

“Where’s Anya?” Lexa asked as Raven resurfaced with a wide grin, pushing the hair from her eyes roughly.

 

“She went to go get a towel but she’ll be down here.” Raven responded as Monty splashed her quickly, earning a chuckle from Clarke beside her.

 

“So she agreed to this as well?” Lexa raised her eyebrows, “Wouldn’t Abby kill you guys for being down here after lights out? What if something happened and you weren’t supposed to be down here?”

 

“Well you’re down here and being the lifeguard, you would be the one in trouble I would say.” Jasper offered before he was dunked under the water by Monty.

 

“Just get in.” Octavia said rolling her eyes, hanging onto Lincoln’s neck loosely.

 

“I’m not sure I really feel like going for a swim.” Lexa responded, bringing her hand up to her neck to rub it roughly.

 

“Well your girlfriend sure looks like she’s about to.” Raven pointed to Clarke next to her, who was in the middle of lifting her shirt over her head and causing Lexa to swallow thickly as she couldn’t tear her eyes away from the blonde.

 

“They’re not girlfriend’s yet.” Bellamy said diplomatically, splashing Raven with a face full of water.

 

“If you can’t beat them, join them.” Clarke shrugged as she stepped out of her shorts, jumping into the lake to a chorus of cheers and leaving Lexa on the boardwalk by herself.

 

“I’m not getting undressed in front of everyone,” Lexa protested with a shake of her head, “That’s not happening.”

 

“So jump in your clothes then!” Octavia called, “Who cares, just get in!”

 

“I think I’m pretty happy here.” Lexa responded with a shrug, her eyes meeting Clarke’s as she waded her way back to the edge of the boardwalk.

 

“You should come in the water, it’s really nice and it might wake you up a bit.” Clarke suggested with a small smile, Lexa’s attention catching on the blonde’s chest momentarily before her feet fell down to her toes again as the hung over the edge of the boardwalk.

 

“I’m good here thank you,” Lexa answered as she shook her head, her gaze meeting the blue eyes looking up at her, almost groaning to herself aloud knowing that those eyes were going to cause her some trouble in the near future, “I’ll just watch from here.”

 

“Can you not swim or something?” Raven challenged as joined Clarke at the foot at the boardwalk, latching onto Lexa’s leg jokingly only for a moment before letting go.

 

“Well I would hope I can swim seeing as I’m the lifeguard here,” Lexa nodded with wide eyes and a chuckle, her hand falling from the back of her neck to tuck deep into the pockets of her shorts, “Honestly, I just don’t feel like getting in.”

 

“Have you ever swum in this lake at night?” Clarke asked raising her eyebrows, Lexa shook her head while her eyes stayed focussed on the blonde below her, “And I don’t know whether you will have the chance to do that again, haven’t you always wanted to?”

 

“I mean yeah but I would rather do so in my bathing suit.” Lexa responded with a shake of her head.

 

“Okay well what if you help me out and we’ll go get changed into our bathing suits, we’ll come back down straight away.” Clarke said with a small smile as she offered her arm up to Lexa, asking for help out of the lake.

 

“I’m a little offended that you’d be so cliché and think I’m gullible enough to try and help you when all you’re going to do is pull me in with you,” Lexa smirked, taking a step backwards from the edge of the boardwalk and folding her arms tightly to her chest, “No help from me.”

 

“Lexa,” Clarke deadpanned with a small frown, her arm still reaching up for assistance, “I promise I won’t pull you in.”

 

“Okay well maybe Raven will pull me in then,” Lexa responded immediately, her head shaking quickly, “I’m sorry Clarke.”

 

“Your phone is up in your cabin, right?” Clarke asked curiously as she sighed, dropping her hand down back into the water after seeing that she wasn’t about to get help from Lexa out of the water.

 

“Yeah, why?” The brunette cocked her eyebrow, looking at Clarke curiously as everyone seemingly paused to look at her, “What’s going on?”

 

Lexa felt two hands press firmly into her shoulder blades, pushing her forward instantly until the next thing she knew was that she was under water in the lake, still completely clothed. She surfaced quickly, hair covering her face but hearing the loud laughter of everyone in the water with her, her attention quickly turning to who she knew would be Anya standing at the edge of the boardwalk.

 

“I’m going to kill you.” Lexa said seriously as she looked up at her best friend, the rest of the group cheering Anya as she gave a small bow before jumping in herself.

 

“See, you should have just gotten in,” Clarke said as she waded a short distance to be directly in front of the medical student, the light of the moon reflecting heavily against the blonde’s skin, making the sparkle in her eyes more evident than it had been before, “It would have saved you a lot of trouble.”

 

“You were going to pull me in, weren’t you?” Lexa asked with a small smirk, reaching out to place her arm around Clarke’s waist to draw the blonde flush up against her once her toes touched the ground, unable to concentrate on the heckling that was going on around her when she had Clarke’s bare skin against her fingertips.

 

“No, I saw Anya coming down but I just wanted to make sure you wouldn’t turn around.” Clarke admitted with a smirk, quieting any of Lexa’s protests with a soft kiss and only withdrawing from the brunette’s lips as they were splashed with water, “This isn’t so bad.”

 

“This isn’t bad at all.” Lexa rasped with her focus unwilling to shift to anything else but Clarke as her chest tightened and her cheeks reddened at the look of want in Clarke’s eyes; knowing her own eyes would be reflecting the exact same need, “Maybe I should have just gotten in.”

 

“You should have,” Clarke laughed to herself quietly, her hand coming up to cup Lexa’s cheek delicately as she captured the older girls lips with her own briefly before leaning back again so she could look the dazed brunette in the eyes, “This has been a really awesome first date.”

 

“Yeah,” Lexa responded quickly with a grin, her head nodding in agreement, “It was pretty great.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will update soon! :)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...it has been a very long time since i posted anything. A few days ago I decided that I wanted to do my best to finish this story so if anyone stumbles upon it by chance, they can read a completed story. I totally lost my inspiration for this story after the whole Lexa debacle but I knew I needed to finish this one. 
> 
> I know it's been a while so I'm not expecting anyone to really read it but if you do, i hope you enjoy it. I'll be posting 3 more chapters after this so keep an eye out.

Lexa sat on the workbench in Anya’s drama room, helping cut out paper props for the camp production that her best friend was scrambling to finalise. For the past week Anya had been distracted with Raven so much that her rehearsals had almost stalled and her props and backgrounds were nowhere near done to the point that they needed to be. So that’s why the medical student found herself in the arts cabin after lights out, rushing to try and help Anya in any way possible knowing that if she had been in the same position, the older girl would have done the exact same thing for her.

 

“So what is your production about?” Lexa asked as she looked around the room, shaking the pain from her wrist immediately after finishing a section of a cut out tree, “I don’t really see any kind of pattern here.”

 

“Modern day Romeo and Juliet,” Anya grunted as she shrugged, scribbling down notes on a notepad as she sat in the middle of the room, “Less questions, more painting.”

 

“You do realise that I am doing you a solid here, right?” Lexa raised her eyebrow as she picked up a scrap piece of paper beside her and throwing it at her friend, “And how did you get Abby to go along with that? You had to pick something so…morbid?”

 

“If all else fails, you do Romeo and Juliet, I’m just modernising it a bit,” Anya responded dryly to her best friend’s question, “And I appreciate your help anyway. Raven said she would come by and help once she makes sure her campers are asleep.”

 

“Raven’s coming to help you do this?” Lexa raised an eyebrow with a smile, dipping her paint brush back into the green colouring before glancing back at her friend who was busy concentrating on the paper in front of her, “That’s awfully nice of her.”

 

“Well I need all the help I can get,” Anya muttered to herself, rubbing her forehead roughly, “She said she would try and get Clarke to come here too.”

 

“What exactly is going on with you and Raven?” Lexa asked casually as she moved on to painting yet another cut out tree, “You have been all over me about Clarke and now that it’s mostly obvious, I feel like I can question you about this.”

 

“Nothing is going on between us.” Anya answered instantly, pausing with a sigh as she placed her pen down next to her notebook, “Writing a PG version of Romeo and Juliet is harder than I thought it would be.”

 

“What do you mean nothing is going on between you two?” Lexa cocked an eyebrow, stopping to look at her best friend once more, “I literally walked in on you two sleeping after you had sex, you two cuddle, I’ve seen you holding hands and you have spent so much time with her over the past week.”

 

“Well sure, we’re sleeping together and it’s nice to have some comfort here but we both know that this doesn’t leave Camp Jaha.” Anya responded, turning her body to face to face Lexa with a frustrated frown on her face, “I’m not about to make it into something else that it’s not.”

 

“Why not?” Lexa asked with a shrug, “You like her, don’t deny it. You know you can see right through me but it works both ways here, you like Raven.”

 

“Maybe I’m starting to,” Anya shrugged with a loud sigh, “But it doesn’t matter anyway because we both know exactly what this is, we both know we’re having a summer fling and I’m okay with that.”

 

“See, I don’t think you are.” The younger girl responded as she shook her head once more, “I think you just don’t want to let yourself get attached even though you know you already are.”

 

“Says the girl who keeps pretty much everyone in her life at arm’s length, including her own parents.”

 

“Yeah but that’s me, that’s just what I do.” Lexa answered challengingly, “You might have that hard outer shell but you’re like that because you’re a free spirit and I think that you’re just too scared to admit you’re feeling something more than you thought you would.”

 

“You know, I liked you better when you were quietly working,” Anya responded sharply, narrowing her eyes as she shot a glare in Lexa’s directions, “It’s not some romantic tale like you and Clarke have going on, it’s not something that we can’t stop. We slept together and then we realised we had really great sex so we’ve just kept doing it.”

 

“You’re such a liar.” Lexa rolled her eyes as she grumbled, returning back to cutting out trees with a shake of her head, “God, you are frustrating.”

 

“Oh well look who is talking there.” Anya snapped before groaning and hitting her pen against the page, “Maybe I can do a murder mystery play instead where the clues lead to how I murdered you if you don’t stop this.”

 

“Well I mean Clarke is moving to LA so there’s always a chance Raven could follow,” Lexa said with furrowed brows as she concentrated on what she was doing, only pausing when she felt the pen hitting her lightly on the back of her head, “Well now you just can’t write.”

 

“Lexa, you know that I don’t know how to do relationships. I don’t know how they work and someone always gets hurt, so yes, maybe I do like Raven but it would never work. It’s much better to have fun and end it on that note then to have to pack up my life and go to Europe for a year.”

 

“Well you don’t have to exclusively go to Europe for a year because you got broken up with or you were hurt.” Lexa deadpanned, picking up the pen and throwing it directly back at Anya.

 

“You know what I mean,” Anya grumbled with a shake of her head, placing her head on the desk in front of her, “So is Clarke going to move into your apartment when she gets there? If she is, just save yourself some trouble and ask her to move in with your permanently”

 

“So just because we’re both girls you assume we’re just going to move in together, adopt a couple of cats and settle down?” Lexa questioned with wide eyes, turning to her friend with a scowl on her face that could probably kill anyone that it was directed to, her expression only settling when she saw the amused look on Anya’s face, “For your information, no. Clarke is going to find her own place once she gets to LA and she isn’t going to stay at my apartment.”

 

“But you offered, right?”

 

“Yes, I offered but that was only because I was being polite and I don’t want her staying on the streets. We don’t know this version of each other, in some ways we are strangers because we haven’t seen each other in years. I’m not about to go crazy lesbian and have her move in the second she gets to LA,” Lexa protested sharply, her arms crossing tightly against her chest as she kept the scissors firmly in her hand “She’s there for school, she didn’t decide to move to LA just because I’m there.”

 

“I know that but it couldn’t have hurt her decision,” Anya shrugged simply, offering Lexa a small smile, “Honestly I think you have met your match, Lexa. I think Clarke is exactly who you are supposed to be with right now, whether you believe that or not.”

 

“That’s why we are taking things slow.” Lexa responded with a quick nod.

 

“How slow are we talking here?” Anya raised her eyebrows suggestively, earning a chuckle from her best friend as her cheeks reddened subtly.

 

“ _Slow_ , until we’re ready to really see where this can take us.” Lexa answered briefly, “And this whole thing has been so intense that I honestly think it’s the best thing for us.”

 

“So when is she coming to LA?” The actress asked as she began to scribble on her notepad once more, a wave of inspiration seemingly overtaking her, “Straight after camp?”

 

“I don’t know, she still has to pack up her stuff in her old apartment.”

 

“The apartment she shared with Finn?” Anya mumbled, pausing her writing instantly but keeping her eyes glued to the notepad as she let out a sigh.

 

“Yeah, the apartment she shared with Finn.” Lexa replied quickly, holding her hands out in front of her defensively, “I know.”

 

“That’s a bit of a red flag, isn’t it?”

 

“What’s a bit of a red flag?” Raven asked as she popped her head inside the door, grinning as she looked to Anya and it didn’t go unnoticed with Lexa that her older sat up straight immediately.

 

“The flag that we’ll capturing tomorrow when we play capture the flag.” Lexa said quickly, her eyes narrowing as she spoke making it obvious she was only speaking as the words came to her mind.

 

“Seriously, what’s a red flag?” Raven pushed as she strolled into the room with the grin still lingering on her face, “That was a horrible attempt at covering that up too.”

 

“Well the fact that this production is in a week and a half and I still have no idea how I am going to do this.” Anya said with a sigh, sliding her notepad towards the centre of the table as Raven took a seat next to the actress.

 

“You not working on it isn’t going to help,” Lexa said with a cocked eyebrow, shaking her head, “If you had been working on it, I wouldn’t be in here cutting out shapes of trees after lights out.”

 

“Your lady is coming in soon, I just passed her heading to her cabin to get changed so she isn’t too far behind,” Raven said rolling her eyes, “I think Romeo and Juliet will be perfect.”

 

“I’m still not sure how you got Abby to agree to that.” Lexa responded with a quiet sigh as she turned back to her tree, “All I know is that this needs to happen because I’m not doing this for nothing.”

 

“What can I do?” Raven asked enthusiastically, “Put me to work!”

 

“Well I need the cardboard swords cut out.” Anya gestured to the corner of the cabin where a pile of cardboard had been stacked.

 

“You know this isn’t opening night on broadway and this place has never had props for a production,” Lexa offered quickly, “I mean last time I was here, the production was a bunch of kids doing freeze frames.”

 

“That’s actually pretty artistic for this place.” Raven said with a surprised tone, trying to fight off laughter.

 

“I know but this is literally all I have been doing for the past few weeks and if my name is on it, I have to make it great.” Anya said with her chin raised high and a grin on her face.

 

“Swords it is,” Raven exclaimed with her hand up in the air, quickly standing so she could drag the stack of cardboard back to the table, “If you need more help, we can get everyone else in and do a bit of a production line.”

 

“I might make that call later, we might need it but if you two are efficient enough it should be fine,” Anya replied quietly with a nod, “I might need it though if Lexa over here takes as long as she is taking to cut out these trees. I need her to start painting them after but I’m not sure when that’s going to happen.”

 

“I’m not doing this because I want to.” Lexa reminded her once more with wave of the scissors in the air.

 

“Speaking of capture the flag, are you guys both playing?” Raven asked curiously as she not so subtly shuffled her chair closer to Anya.

 

“I think so, we’ve both said we would play and I don’t know whether we have a choice.” The medical student responded as she concentrated once more on the paper below her, pausing as she heard a knock on the door and turning her head to see a grinning Clarke looking exclusively in her direction.

 

“So am I too late to help out?” Clarke asked as her eyes shifted to Anya who gave her a quick shake of her head, prompting the blonde to step inside, “What do you need?”

 

“More like what don’t I need.” Anya groaned, rubbing her forehead roughly.

 

“Well let’s start with what you do need, that’s probably more productive.” The blonde offered helpfully, approaching the side of the room where Lexa was before bending down and placing a gentle kiss on her cheek, “Hey.”

 

“Hi,” Lexa greeted shyly, a blush creeping up on her cheeks, “I’ve hardly seen you today.”

 

“I know,” Clarke replied as she glanced to Anya and Raven before returning her focus on the brunette in front of her, “Just had a few things to take care of and help my mom with.”

 

“Oh.” Lexa responded, knowing straight away that what she was talking about was directly related to the sale of Camp Jaha.

 

“Can you sew?” Anya asked, breaking up the eye contact between the two girls and gaining Clarke’s attention once more. “Because I know Lexa sure can’t and I’m doubting Raven can either.”

 

“Why do you say that?” Raven raised an eyebrow, leaning away from Anya slightly as she questioned the girl next to her.

 

“Well you can’t,” Clarke chimed in instantly with a shake of her head, “I can sew but why do you need someone to sew something? You don’t have costumes, you only have props.”

 

“Well I found a sewing kit and some material, this play is lacking in dialog so I figure I can make it up with aesthetics,” Anya replied with a small shrug, “So can you sew?”

 

“How about I just paint some trees?” Clarke suggested with a shake of her head, “It looks like Lexa’s a little slow with her production so I can paint them and speed up the process.”

 

“I have a steady hand; I’m just taking my time.” Lexa protested with a small frown.

 

“I would hope you have a steady hand.” Raven interrupted with a small smirk.

 

“How did you even get my mom to agree to Romeo and Juliet?” Clarke asked with a shake of her head.

 

“That’s exactly what I asked.” Lexa said as she raised her arms in the air, raising her eyebrows and turning to her friend who just smirked.

 

“What can I say? I have charm.” Anya said wiggling her eyebrows as the smirk only grew on her face.

 

Clarke set herself up next to Lexa, and they worked together in tandem late into the night until they were almost done. Lexa had her elbow resting on her knees with her hand holding her chin, keeping her head up as her eyes drooped slowly but to her credit she continued to cut slowly. She yawned quietly, blinking away the moisture that formed in her eyes as she did so and glancing to Anya who had her head resting on the desk, next to Raven who was doing the same.

 

“Maybe we should stop for now and come back to it tomorrow night, I’m sure we can get other people to help after capture the flag.” Clarke suggested as she looked around the room, nudging the almost sleeping medical student next to her gently, “Many hands make light work.”

 

“Good idea.” Lexa said as she instantly dropped what she was doing, rubbing her eyes roughly and turning to the two girls resting their heads on the desk, “You two, wake up. We’re going to bed.”

 

“I’m staying.” Anya mumbled as she picked her head up from the table, her eyes opening slowly as she picked up her pen once more, “Still plenty of brain power.”

 

Raven only groaned in agreement as she kept her head on the desk, not willing to move but also not able to say a word due to her tiredness. Lexa shook her head as she stood, holding her hand out for Clarke to take and feeling her body warm slightly at the touch of the younger girl when she linked her fingers with the medical students. Having a reaction like that to something as simple as holding the blonde’s hand puzzled Lexa constantly but at the same time, she knew she couldn’t be too surprised knowing the level of connection that they shared.

 

“You know, Raven must really like Anya if she is willing to stay in that cabin when she is that tired,” Clarke observed quietly, giving Lexa’s hand a gentle squeeze as they walked towards their cabins in the relative darkness, “Normally she would bite someone’s head off this time of night.”

 

“It’s the same for Anya, I mean I know this is for her production but I think they just wanted an excuse to stay in that cabin together.” Lexa said with a sleepy tone.

 

“I definitely think that they like each other more than they are willing to say.” Clarke said with a nod, her free hand coming up to stifle her mouth with a yawn.

 

“Sounds familiar,” Lexa said with a small smile, her eyes staying focussed on the path in front of her as they walked slowly, “Has your mom said anything more about selling Camp Jaha yet?”

 

“She’s mentioned it a few times, we’re actually going out tomorrow when capture the flag is on to meet with the buyers,” Clarke said almost reluctantly, “She asked me to go with her and Marcus this afternoon so I said I would go.”

 

“When is she going to tell everyone?”

 

“I don’t know but she won’t say anything until the deal is actually done,” Clarke responded honestly with a shrug, “She just wants me to meet these people because she wants to see whether I agree, I don’t know what these people are going to do with the land yet but Mom wants to make sure I’m okay with it too.”

 

“It is your camp as well,” Lexa added quietly with a nod, giving Clarke’s hand a gentle squeeze, “I think a lot of people are going to be devastated.”

 

“I don’t think you will be,” Clarke said smartly as she nudged Lexa gently, pausing in the middle of the path where they would usually separate to go to their separate cabins, “I thought you’d be the first one here with a sledge hammer and a hard hat.”

 

“Okay yeah, before this year I might have been here with a sledge hammer but I love the actual camp grounds,” Lexa reasoned quickly with a roll of her eyes. “You’ve successfully changed my mind by the way.”

 

“See, I knew I would.” Clarke said as she stepping into the brunette so her body was pressed into Lexa’s, their faces just inches apart. The medical student swallowed thickly as her heart rate picked up, something that never failed to happen whenever the blonde was so close to her.

 

“That’s only because you’re here though,” Lexa said huskily, her voice struggling to leave the back of her rough throat. Her hand reluctantly leaving Clarke’s only to grasp her waist firmly, being completely and helplessly drawn into the blonde’s presence, “How do you do that?”

 

“How do I do what?” Clarke asked quietly, looking as oblivious to the rest of the world as the older girl was.

 

“This.” Lexa said simply with a small shake of her head slightly but kept her eyes locked on the blonde’s, exhaling sharply, “Why do I feel like when I look at you, everything kind of just disappears?”

 

“You feel that too, huh?” Clarke questioned with the smallest of smirks, only in the irony that Lexa felt the same thing that she had been so stuck on for the past few days, “You should go to bed, you’re exhausted.”

 

“I know,” Lexa’s eyes fluttered closed momentarily as she rested her forehead against Clarke’s, breathing in the smell of the blonde that unknowingly gave her so much comfort, “I told Gustsus I would help him set up.”

 

“I don’t want to talk about Gustus right now.” Clarke said shaking her head as her cool hand came up to cup Lexa’s cheek and leaning in her lips mere inches to meet the blonde’s in a slow, sweet, intoxicating kiss. Lexa’s mouth pulled back in a small smile, her hands balling into fists against Clarke’s waist and feeling the material of the younger girl’s camp shirt between her fingers. The kiss grew a little deeper, Lexa sighing against the blonde’s lips, feeling her reality fade even further away as her mind could only be consumed by the woman in front of her.

 

“Clarke.” Lexa rasped as she pulled her lips away from Clarke’s regretfully, squeezing her eyes tightly before leaning her head back slightly so she could look the younger girl in the eyes, “We both know this is going to get harder and harder to stop if we keep going right now.”

 

“I know,” Clarke admitted her voice just as husky as Lexa’s, “I just haven’t seen you all day and I know it’s ridiculous but I kind of missed you. I mean how am I going to be if I am in Texas for a week or so getting all my stuff together if I miss you while being on the same camp grounds?”

 

“There’s a very good chance we’re both being ridiculous then,” Lexa said with a small shrug, raising her eyebrows quickly as her eyes darted between Clarke’s. Her stomach beginning to feel a little uneasy about Clarke’s imminent return to Texas and the same apartment she had shared with Finn for so many years. It was something that was pulling at her mind more than she would like to admit, having the feeling of uneasiness building up inside of her since Clarke had told her what her plans were but she was unwilling to bring it up with the blonde again yet, “We should go to bed.”

 

“Yeah.” Clarke responded quietly, nodding slowly before leaning in one more time and pressing her lips to Lexa’s before taking a step away from the brunette, “Goodnight Lexa.”

 

“Goodnight Clarke.” Lexa said with a small smile, burying her hands deeply into her back pockets as she watched the retreating younger woman walk the short distance to her cabin.

 

\---

 

“You know, I don’t know why I always get put on your team.” Lexa huffed angrily to her best friend with her arms folded tightly to her chest, her competitive nature getting the best of her as she sat in the opposite team’s ‘jail’ deep into capture the flag. Anya and Lexa had been assigned to attack the flag, hoping to cause a distraction but they had been completely flanked, outnumbered and thanks to Anya who held onto Lexa desperately during that time they had both been captured, “I’m pretty sure you didn’t really try and run away, you kind of just kept me from moving.”

 

“Hell yes I did,” Anya said with a confident nod and a roll of her eyes, “If I was going to be stuck in this stupid jail for the next hour then yes, you were going to be stuck with me too.”

 

“That’s really nice of you,” Lexa said sarcastically with yet another sigh, “So now I’m out of the game and I don’t think anyone is coming to rescue us anytime soon.”

 

“Damn right they aren’t” Raven said with a smirk, standing next to the marked out square that was considered her teams jail with her arms folded loosely against her body, “No one is getting past me to get you out of here.”

 

“I’m going to get out of here and I’m going to get that flag.” Lexa said almost seriously as she glanced towards the flag over Raven’s shoulder, “And then I’m going to run it back to my side and you’re going to lose.”

 

“I don’t know about that.” Raven shook her head quickly, her eyes leaving the medical students to look towards Anya, “How are you enjoying your stay?”

 

“Can you just let me go? I could be doing a lot better things right now than sitting on a pile of dirt next to my best friend and a few other kids,” Anya moved to stand as she saw Raven’s smirk break into a genuine smile but felt a tight grip on her wrist hold her down.

 

“No.” Lexa grumbled quickly, “If I have to stay here then you do too.”

 

“You know, I had a feeling I would find you in here,” Lexa heard Gustus before she saw him as he approached the jailed area from behind, stopping to stand next to Raven with a wide grin on his face, “When I heard your team planned an ambush, I figured you would have been one of the people to try and take the flag already.”

 

“Oh my god, what is it with this camp and competitiveness?” Anya asked with wide eyes as she looked between Gustus and Lexa, “It’s a game about trying to catch a piece of material and taking it past a line.”

 

“Though I am surprised that you got caught so early.” Gustus continued as his grin only extended, “I thought better of you.”

 

“Camp Jaha capture the flag has always been something pretty huge,” Lexa said with a shrug as she explained the nature of the game within the camp, “It was always actually pretty brutal and something that I’m usually pretty good at until my best friend blocks my path so I can’t run away.”

 

“If I’m going down, you are too.” Anya reasoned simply with another roll of her eyes, laughter echoing quietly between Raven and Gustus.

 

“I like her.” Gustus said as he nodded towards Anya.

 

“You’re not the only one.” Raven admitted quietly, pausing as all of their eyes darted towards the counsellor; her own eyes quickly averting to her toes as she scrambled to cover her serious admission of affection, “I should go check if our spies have come back.”

 

“You’re a flag guard.” Gustus raised an eyebrow, turning to the younger girl wearing a very amused look on his expression, “You have to stay here.”

 

“Well you’re big enough to cover the flag, I’m going.” Raven mumbled more to herself than to Gustus before turning on her heel without looking backwards and hurrying out of sight.

 

“What just happened there?” Gustus asked with a confused tone, looking with a raised eyebrow between Anya and Lexa who both just shrugged with their eyes focussed on the last place that had seen Raven hurry away, “And where is Clarke? She was supposed to be on my team.”

 

“Oh, she’s not playing?” Lexa asked weakly, her shoulders shrugging quickly.

 

“You know she isn’t playing.” Anya responded with a shake of her head, “You’d know where she was in a fifty foot radius so you know that she isn’t playing.”

 

“She had to help Abby with something.” Lexa shrugged casually, her eyes catching Gustus as he eyed her curiously, “I don’t know what though.”

 

“I don’t believe that either.” Gustus added with a shake of his head, looking around him as he heard high pitched screaming and laughter to their right.

 

“Yeah she is a bad liar.” Anya responded with a loud sigh, “I should have just chosen to be a flag guard, you have the right idea, Gustus.”

 

“I thought so too,” He said with a smirk before they heard more loud screaming, headed in their direction before they saw a wave of younger campers running towards them.

 

“I think we’re about to get out of here,” Lexa stood quickly with a wide smile on her face as members of her team came streaming through to free the captives in jail as Gustus began to get overrun by campers.

 

Lexa took her opportunity to move around the older man, grabbing the red flag in her hand and making a break for it. The screams of excitement and panic grew louder as Lexa dashed around campers who were either running around her for protection or trying to get to her. She saw Monty standing by the line, taking off to chase her as she edged closer and closer towards her goal. She noticed ahead that there was a group of campers running in her direction, assuming their flag had been captured as well. She faked a left and pushed off her right to dodge Monty before she set her feet onto safe ground, looking around as she heard a whistle blow; her team being declared winners.

 

“You got lucky!” Monty called as he doubled over, his hands resting on his knees.

 

“I knew that would work!” Bellamy said with a wide grin as he jogged up to Lexa. “That has to be the quickest win in camp history.”

 

“I don’t know, last year was pretty quick too,” Octavia appeared behind Lexa, clapping her on the shoulder gently, “You’re a very fast runner my friend.”

 

“I saw my chance,” Lexa said with a grin and a shrug, “Plus I really needed to get one up on Gustus.”

 

“I don’t know why the Hail Mary isn’t called more often, that was genius.” Bellamy said proudly with his hands on his hips, “That was flawless.”

 

“Actually, we almost lost,” Lexa said pointing to their flag that had just stopped short, “That was a risky play.”

 

“Risk equals reward,” Monty shrugged, “Good game.”

“We should probably get our cabins and take them to lunch,” Lincoln said as he walked up behind Octavia, placing a kiss on her head before taking her hand and moving to round up their cabin groups.

 

“So you just leave me in jail and then you decide to walk back to the cabins without me?” Lexa heard her best friend say from behind her as she walked towards the camp grounds, turning around with a grin to see a less than impressed Anya.

 

“I couldn’t risk being caught with you again,” Lexa joked as she waited for Anya to catch up, throwing the flag to the older woman before they began walking together, “And I just won so you can thank me for the extra time you are about to get in your day.”

 

“Thank you for giving me more time to stress about this production,” Anya grumbled as she pushed the flag towards Lexa again, “You’re lucky, you just have to watch kids swim.”

“And make sure they don’t drown,” Lexa frowned, “What’s wrong with you?”

 

“I can’t find Raven anywhere, you both just left without me.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Lexa said with playful a roll of her eyes, “And I’m sure Raven will find you.”

 

“I’m not sure she wants to.” Anya furrowed her eyebrows, “She said she liked me and then she ran off like I had the plague or something.”

 

“I don’t know why you are both being like this. You like each other, Raven just admitted it so why don’t you two actually consider that this could be something more than a summer fling if you let it,” Lexa spoke in a frustrated tone as she looked to her friend, “You haven’t cared this much about someone in a long time.”

 

“I don’t care _that_ much.” Anya protested weakly.

 

“So what is standing in the way here?” Lexa questioned seriously.

 

“I don’t want to get attached and I don’t want to get hurt,” Anya reasoned with a shrug, “I want great sex but I don’t want the commitment because that way, I can’t get hurt.”

 

“That’s a lie.” Lexa retorted instantly, “You can get hurt because you’re already attached whether you want to admit it or not. I think you’d be silly not to at least try.”

 

“Lexa, I love you but if you don’t stop; I will punch you.” Anya warned with a glare, earning the submission of her best friend.

 

“Okay,” The younger girl said as she raised her hands in front of her defensively, “You don’t need to punch me. I just want you to be happy.”

 

“I’m perfectly happy,” Anya nodded as she threw her arm around Lexa’s neck. “But I do need to finish my conversation with you that we were having yesterday afternoon.”

 

“Your red flag conversation?”

 

“Don’t you think it’s a red flag that she’s going back to her old apartment and staying there with her ex boyfriend?” Anya asked raising her eyebrows, “The apartment that they shared for years?”

 

“It’s not like she’s going to be sharing the same bed with him,” Lexa tried to defend half heartedly, “I can’t let what happened with Costia make me react to every little thing. She has to go there to get her stuff and move it all across the country.”

 

“It’s not little though,” Anya responded, “Listen, it’s your relationship but I don’t want to see your heart broken again.”

 

“I’m not totally comfortable with it and I can’t say I’m confident that I’m not going to be weirded out but I have to learn to trust her like she is willing to trust me,” Lexa replied, shutting her eyes tightly for a minute before opening them up once more as they reached the path that snaked towards their cabin, “I have to trust that she is going to do right by me.”

 

“You’re right, you do need to trust her but I think you should talk to her about it and tell her you’re uncomfortable. You need to do what is best for you and you need to look after that heart of yours, we only just put it back together.” Anya spoke quietly, conscious of the campers running around them, “Capture the flag makes these kids wild.”

 

“Things were over between her and Finn, I have to trust things won’t change when she sees him again,” Lexa shrugged, her voice weaker than it had been at the start of the conversation, “She’s not Costia.”

 

“No, she’s not but I think it would be best if you spoke to her about it,” Anya shrugged, “Try and be clear from the start.”

 

“Thanks,” Lexa nodded with the smallest of smiles, “Are you coming into the cabin or are you going straight to your production room?”

 

“It’s hardly a production room but I do need to get to the drama cabin, this play won’t write itself,” Anya sighed loudly as she removed her arm from Lexa’s shoulders, “Believe me, I have willed it to happen.”

 

“I’ll come and help tonight after dinner if I’m not needed,” Lexa responded as they began to walk their separate ways, “Lake duty calls.”

 

\---

 

Lexa groaned as she stood at the edge of the boardwalk, eyeing off a pink inflatable flamingo that was taunting her as it floated a distance away from where she was standing, cursing herself for not checking that the campers had brought everything in when the end of free time bell sounded.

 

She considered her options, she could jump in herself and swim the short distance to get the flamingo herself, jump in a kayak to retrieve it or she could just watch it disappear, knowing how disappointed the kids would be when it wasn’t there to play on the next day. Lexa didn’t quite understand the excitement around the inflatable flamingo but the kids seemed to go crazy over it, frequently arguing over who would get to float on it next.

 

The brunette medical student sighed, resigned to the fact that the best thing to do would be to jump in and retrieve it but knowing that if the wind picked up any further, she’d have to swim a fair distance. She didn’t care about the flamingo but she found herself caring about the campers more that she would admit; wanting to avoid making them disappointed and upset.

 

Lexa lifted her shirt over her head, stepping out of her shorts to leave her in her bikini, jumping into the cool lake; welcoming the feeling against her sun kissed skin. She broke the surface after a few strokes underwater and smoothly swam her way to the pink flamingo; grasping it in her hand and turning around to face the boardwalk; grinning as she saw Clarke approaching the edge of the water with a curious smirk on her face.

 

“Afternoon swim with your friend?” She called with a chuckle, her arms folded loosely in front of her.

 

“Someone didn’t put her away and I figured she might get lonely in the water overnight,” Lexa called back as she pushed the flamingo in front of her slowly, Clarke pulling it out of the water when they reached the boardwalk; the brunette pulling herself out of the water to stand in front of the other woman, “The kids love that thing.”

 

“Look at you caring about the kids,” Clarke joked lightly, her eyes drifting down Lexa’s body before returning to meet the brunette’s gaze, reaching out to gently move a strand of wet hair away from Lexa’s face, “I’m kind of jealous, the water looks really nice.”

 

“We can go for a swim if you want, we have time,” Lexa responded, glancing to the water and back to the other woman, “I missed you today.”

 

“I did too,” Clarke said with an uneven smile, bending down to hand Lexa her towel, “We should probably head up though, dinner will be on soon. I went to the drama room because I thought I’d find you there but Anya said you hadn’t come back yet; I got a little worried.”

 

“I’m fine,” Lexa shrugged as she threw the towel over her shoulders, bending down to pick up her clothes as Clarke put the inflatable away before they began walking up towards the cabins together slowly, “So how did today go? Everyone was asking where you were.”

 

“Good…I think,” Clarke said with crinkled eyebrows, reaching down to gently take Lexa’s hand in her own, “Mom’s so sure one day about selling it and then the next she is adamant that we need to keep it.”

 

“It’s not a small decision,” Lexa responded with a shrug, “You’re both making huge changes this summer and I wouldn’t blame her if she changed her mind a few times.”

 

“That’s why I’m just trying to support her however I can,” Clarke sighed quietly, giving the woman next to her a small smile, “The buyers seem great though. They want to make it into a corporate retreat so at least we know it won’t be completely knocked down or anything; most of the foundations will stay as they are with a few exceptions of course. She has a few weeks to make the decision but we’ll know before we leave camp whether she is selling or not.”

 

“Wow, so Camp Jaha Alumni can come back on a corporate retreat,” Lexa said with wide eyes, “Thank god I’m going into the medical field all the way in LA.”

 

“You said you liked it now.” Clarke said nudging Lexa gently, “So I heard you were the hero today.”

 

“I know how to play capture the flag, what can I say,” The brunette woman joked lightly, “It’s so much easier coming back here as an adult.”

 

“I don’t know, I feel like it has a whole new range of complications,” Clarke responded instantly, squeezing Lexa’s hand gently, “I mean take a look at my summer.”

 

“You started here with a boyfriend…” Lexa said awkwardly, bringing her hand up to rub the back of her neck roughly.

 

“It was over before you showed up, Lex,” Clarke reasoned slowly as she shook her head, “We both knew that.”

 

“I need to talk to you about something but I don’t know how to say it,” Lexa said as she stopped walking in the middle of the path, pausing to watch as Clarke stopped as well, looking at her with those blue eyes that shook her to her very core, “I know that I have no say or anything and I’m not telling you not to do it because it just makes sense…what I’m trying to say is…”

 

“This is about me staying at my old apartment when I go back to Texas, huh?” Clarke asked with a hushed town, a look of understanding on her face, “I saw you flinch when I first mentioned it and now every time I do, you inch away.”

 

“I’m not inching away,” Lexa said immediately, shaking her head, “But it makes me a little uncomfortable.”

 

“Which I understand, I would be the same if we were in each other’s shoes,” Clarke responded with a nod, taking a step into Lexa so their bodies were flush against each other, “I’m not playing games and I’m not being dishonest with you. I want you to trust me and I want you to know that I’m not her. Finn and I are over and I will find a place to stay if I need to; I’m sure someone has a couch I can stay on.”

 

“I don’t want you to have to stay on a couch when you have to be there anyway to collect everything,” Lexa shut her eyes tightly before opening them again, focussing on the woman in front of her, “I just need to know that you want this.”

 

“I want all of this,” Clarke said reassuringly before leaning in to capture the other girls lips in her own delicately, as if Lexa were made of glass, “I want to go to UCLA and I want to be with you.”

 

“Thank you,” Lexa muttered as she leaned her forehead against Clarke’s as they paused momentarily, “Turns out I made a pretty good decision coming here this summer.”

 

“I’d say so, even if the summer is almost over,” Clarke whispered, placing another gentle kiss on Lexa’s lips before pulling away, “Come on, let’s get you showered and dressed before dinner.”

 

“Yeah, preferably dressed.”

 

“Depends who you’re asking,” Clarke said playfully as she started to walk, leaving Lexa to watch her with wide eyes on the path, “Come on.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you thought. Chapter 10 is on the way. I hope you're all well!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 10 here guys. Chapter 11 coming right up!

Tomorrow was the big day and Anya wouldn’t let anyone around her forget it. It was almost time for the camp’s yearly production and a Camp Jaha first as they were going to be holding a performance of an altered Romeo and Juliet. It was the second last week of camp; things were winding down and campers were getting restless to go home but the camp leaders had to hold it together and ensure a smooth last two weeks.

 

The future of Camp Jaha was still in the air, Abby not willing to make a decision until she was 100% sure she was making the correct one of herself and the camp itself so Clarke was trying to enjoy her time there as much as possible before going back to Texas to turn her life upside down.

 

It was after midnight as Lexa stood in the mess hall, trying to help set up the make-shift stage after Anya had changed her mind numerous amounts of time; her heavy eyes struggled to stay open after a full day of water activities and a late night with Clarke the previous night came back to haunt her.

 

“Earth to Lexa!” She heard her best friend call, her eyes shooting to Anya as she scribbled something down on her notepad, “That’s perfect there, I need you down here please to help me finish off these palm trees.”

 

“Okay,” Lexa agreed with a big yawn, her eyes filling with water as she jumped down from the stage, “You know, you’re lucky I’m committed to this. Not even Raven stayed.”

 

“I know, I know.” Anya grumbled with a nod, “I can’t wait for this to be done with tomorrow night and then I can just relax like you have been doing for the past few weeks.”

 

“I’ve been on lifeguard duty.” Lexa protested tiredly as she dragged her body back towards the table Anya was sitting at, picking up a paint brush to help Anya finish off her last few props, “I was on the water all day today.”

 

“And has anyone drowned?” Anya raised her eyebrow, scribbling in her notebook once more, “These kids better nail their lines, I have to say that I have done an excellent job converting this play to a PG version of Romeo and Juliet if I do say so myself. Maybe I need to think about switching to a career as a writer.”

 

“No, no one has drowned because I’ve been on lifeguard duty,” Lexa rolled her eyes as a smirk slowly featured on her lips, “Besides, Raven has been helping you a lot so at least you have spent plenty of time with her.”

 

“We weren’t doing anything fun though,” Anya protested with a pout as she looked up at the stage, “She knows how to have fun that girl. If I did relationships…”

 

“Which you can and you should because I haven’t seen you so smitten for a while,” Lexa interrupted her best friend who gave her a light shove in her seat, “And I don’t want to know how fun she is.”

 

“She is pretty fun.” Anya responded teasingly with a smirk of her own, “Did you talk to Clarke about the whole apartment thing?”

 

“I did,” She said as she held her head up with her hand as her arm rested on the table as she painted, “She understood and we’re just going to be really open and honest about it all.”

 

“Is that enough though?” Anya questioned, “If you’re not comfortable about it then she shouldn’t be either.”

 

“She has to pack her stuff from there anyway. I need to grow and I need to trust that she is different,” Lexa responded before sighing quietly, “I haven’t felt this way about a girl in a long time, not even Costia and it’s like the universe has brought me back here just to prove that to me.”

 

“Ew,” Anya responded with a crinkled face, a disapproving tone lining her voice, “I thought you didn’t believe in this stuff.”

 

“I didn’t but now I kind of do,” Lexa shrugged as she continued her lazy paint strokes on the already perfect cardboard palm tree, “Do you really need my help or are you just keeping me here? Everything seems to be done.”

 

“Those palm trees look terrible,” Anya dismissed before pausing, sighing loudly as she dropped her pen on her book, “Okay, you’re right. I am just keeping you here.”

 

“Anya” Lexa groaned loudly, placing her head on the table and groaning again, “Why?”

 

“Because I have been trying to talk to you all night but I couldn’t talk to you when everyone was around,” Anya admitted, rubbing her eyes roughly, “I’ve been avoiding it too.”

 

“What’s going on?” Lexa raised her head from the table, feeling her heartbeat increase slightly as she suddenly felt a little more alert.

 

“When you were with Clarke last night I got a call from Costia.” Anya admitted calmly and slowly.

 

“Oh,” Lexa furrowed her eyebrows, her stomach tightening into knots as she felt the wind had been knocked out of her, “What did she want? Why did she call you?”

 

Lexa hadn’t really thought of Costia herself since she had started something with Clarke. She had thought about what her ex-girlfriend had done to her and how it made her feel but she hadn’t thought of the actual woman herself. She stirred something up in Lexa that he brunette woman didn’t like, she made her feel so sick and angry all at once when at one time; she was in love with Costia so hearing that she had made contact with her best friend made her feel a mix of different emotions she had not felt in a while.

 

“Well she called me to tell me that she and Roan are engaged,” Anya responded, her voice growing in anxiety.

 

“Of course she did,” Lexa rolled her eyes, “Because she knew you would tell me so she looks like the bigger person but she isn’t.”

 

“She actually called to tell me because she wanted me to be a bridesmaid.”

 

“I’m sorry, did you just say what I thought you did?” Lexa raised her eyebrows as her voice filled with annoyance, “She wants you to be a bridesmaid? That is ridiculous, what planet does this woman live on?”

 

“You’ve moved on Lexa, so has she, I don’t think she was doing this to spite you.” Anya said with a sigh and a shake of her head.

 

“I have moved on but that doesn’t mean I’ve forgiven her for betraying me like that, for making me feel so humiliated.” Lexa responded, her anger growing with each word she spoke, “I wasn’t forcing her to be with me, she could have broken up with me and dated Roan if she wanted to without going behind my back for months and sleeping with someone who I thought was one of my best friends. I know Costia, she calculates every move she makes, she is definitely doing this to spite me.”

 

“I know that and I know she was completely wrong and I won’t ever forgive her for what she did to you,” Anya said defensively, speaking quickly before pausing, “But she was my friend too, Lexa. She was my friend before you two got together, before you even moved to LA. I didn’t want to have to pick sides but then I realised I had to.”

 

“No, I never asked you to pick a side Anya.” Lexa protested, her hands gripping the table in front of her tightly, “I never suggested you had to pick sides, I actually thought you’d just sit on the fence like a few other people had.”

 

“How could I when I saw what she did to you?” Anya asked raising her arms up from her sides. “I will admit that how she treated you after was horrible; she shouldn’t have said what she did and been so cold and petty but she was being defensive. She loved you Lexa, she wanted to strike first because she knew how much you could hurt her; which is ridiculous but it’s true.”

 

“Oh that just makes it all better,” Lexa replied with sarcasm dripping from her tone, “I can’t believe you’re defending her.”

 

“I’m not defending her, Lexa!” Anya whispered harshly, being well aware of how the echo moved around camp from the mess hall, “I know you didn’t ask me to pick sides, you didn’t have to because I picked you. She shouldn’t have done what she did and she knows she should have handled it better, she actually wanted to know how you were. She hadn’t seen you around since she heard you came back so she was worried.”

 

“Okay.” Lexa scoffed bitterly, “Was she worried when she was having sex with a friend of ours in my bed?”

 

“Lexa…”

 

“She didn’t do this to be nice to you, she did this because she wants you back in her life and she wants to rub that straight in my face.” Lexa grumbled, shaking her head with a loud sigh, “Typical Costia.”

 

“She did this because we were really close friends up until recently and we always promised we would be in each other’s weddings when that eventually happened,” Anya countered with a sharpness to her voice, “This isn’t about you, and it has nothing to do with you. I will never forgive her for what she did to you but we had lives outside of you before you were around. You vanished for a year, you just packed up and went to Europe while the rest of us had to keep living our lives awkwardly around each other. I was around Costia, I saw how hard she tried to work towards being better that what she had done while you were gone.”

 

“Well I’m sorry if what happened between Costia and I ruined your friendship,” Lexa said angrily as she stood from the table, looking down at her best friend with blazing eyes, her short temper when it came to her ex was on full display, “So go ahead and don’t let your obligation to me stop you from being a bridesmaid.”

 

“Don’t be so stubborn!” Anya hissed as Lexa began walking towards the exit of the mess hall, “Come back here!”

 

“Goodnight Anya,” Lexa threw over her shoulder as she stormed out of the mess hall, stopping outside to catch her breath as she felt like she couldn’t breathe in deep enough. She hit the wall lightly with an open palm as she took a moment to gather herself, unhappy with how she acted with her best friend on the topic of Costia but she couldn’t help but feel so isolated and embittered.

 

It was close to 1am and the camp was completely dark and dead quiet, she couldn’t be in her cabin that night with Anya; not knowing when her friend was going to actually go to bed that night or whether she would stay in the mess hall. Lexa placed her hands on her head, breathing deeply; leaning against the wall she had just hit before pushing off and heading to the direction of Clarke’s cabin.

 

She arrived quicker than she had expected, her long strides landing her on the doorstep of the one person she wanted to see in a matter of minutes. The cabin was silent and completely dark, knowing that the blonde woman was most likely fast asleep as she raised her closed fist to knock before pausing. Her eyes were stinging, not because of Costia but because of Anya and how she knew Costia was most likely trying to play them against each other more to the point that it was working.

 

Lexa sighed, shaking her head; not wanting to disturb the peace of the younger woman so she took a step back from the door. Bringing her hand to rub her eyes roughly, she turned on her heel before hearing the door open behind her.

 

“Lexa?” She heard Clarke’s raspy voice whisper, “Are you okay?”

 

“I didn’t mean to wake you,” Lexa responded as she turned once more to face the sleepy blonde, every guard that was raised and every piece of anger she felt from her last conversation fell away instantly as her eyes focussed through the dark on the other woman, “You should go back to sleep.”

 

“Did you only just finish in the mess hall?” Clarke asked tiredly, holding her hand out for Lexa to take, “You look worried.”

 

“Would you mind if I stayed with you tonight?” Lexa asked quietly, reaching out to link her fingers with Clarke’s; feeling a sense of relief almost immediately.

 

“Is Raven in there with Anya?” The blonde woman raised an eyebrow with a tired smirk appearing on her face.

 

“No, I just don’t want to be in there tonight with Anya.”

 

“Of course,” Clarke nodded, pulling Lexa into her cabin and closing the door quietly before moving back to lay on her bed once more; waiting for the older girl to join her,

“Why don’t you want to go back to your cabin?”

 

“Anya and I had a disagreement,” Lexa said awkwardly as Clarke turned on the lamp next to her bed, “How did you know I was out there?”

 

“I could hear your stomping from the mess hall,” Clarke joked, trying to pull a smile from Lexa, sighing when she realised that she was far too caught in her head to even think about it, “Come here and tell me what happened.”

 

“Costia called Anya,” Lexa blurted before she could even think about what she was saying, knowing she needed to be careful talking about this to Clarke.

 

“Oh, okay,” Clarke said with a confused expression, “Was she trying to get a hold of you?”

 

“No, Costia and my communication ended even before I went to Europe,” Lexa shook her head quickly, pacing at the front of Clarke’s bed, “She called Anya to let her know that she and the guy I found her in bed with are engaged and on top of that she wants Anya to be a bridesmaid; which is typical of Costia.”

 

“Why is it typical of her?” Clarke asked rubbing her eyes once more, sitting up against the headboard to give Lexa her full attention.

 

“Because she’s so calculating when she wants to be. She and Anya were friends before they met me but Anya is my best friend and she has been with me through thick and thin,” Lexa said with furrowed brows, “It puzzles me to think why Costia thought that was a good idea besides the fact that she knew Anya would tell me.”

 

“So you think she is trying to get to you?”

 

“I just….I don’t have any contact with Costia and what’s done is done but I will never forgive her for treating me how she did after I found out,” Lexa spoke quietly, her tone hushing as she paused, “And I know that I just left for a year, which I don’t think Anya has totally forgiven me for but Anya is my friend. Costia has taken pretty much everything else from me but she can’t have my best friend. I told Anya that I didn’t want her to choose sides but that’s a lie; when I think about it, I’m glad she chose me over her because she was the only one who didn’t just run back to Costia.”

 

“Why did you fight with Anya then, Lex?” Clarke asked quietly, pushing herself from the headboard to the other side of the bed, kneeling in front of Lexa and taking both of her hands, “I understand that it’s upsetting and it’s probably a flashback that you didn’t need but why did you fight with Anya?”

 

“Because it hurts thinking that Anya can know just how heartbroken I was to even pick up the phone when Costia called,” The medical student admitted seriously, “I don’t care that she is getting married, I don’t care about her at all and quite frankly; she makes me feel sick but it’s such a power play by her to prove to me if Anya says yes that her friendship is more valuable than mine. I hate that Anya is caught in the middle and I hate that I just got mad at her but I’m not going to let her do that to me.”

 

“Okay, so maybe it is a power play by Costia to prove something to you and maybe she is just trying to sabotage your friendship,” Clarke said placing her hand on Lea’s warm cheek, using her thumb to stroke it gently, “Or maybe she just wants Anya in her wedding because she was Anya’s good friend before all of this happened.”

 

“Unlikely.”

 

“It might not be though.” Clarke shrugged simply, moving her hand back to Lexa’s, “You did say it yourself, you were gone for a year.”

 

“I would never do that to someone though. She knows I don’t have many friends left now and she knows that Anya stuck through everything with me. Besides you, Anya has been the one person in my life who has just accepted me for me and she’s been constant,” Lexa responded with a groan, “Maybe I’m defensive but I’m just scared that Costia is going to take her away too.”

 

“Okay well first of all, Anya is at Camp Jaha setting up a camp production that we all know should be a disaster but I have a feeling she will pull it off,” The blonde woman spoke with amusement in her voice, “But she is in Colorado in a place she didn’t want to go because you needed a job and I know she needed one too, she could have gone anywhere but she chose to come here with you. Anya is stuck in the middle and she has backed you up this entire time; she might have said yes but that has no reflection on your friendship. She loves you to death, I know that first hand.”

 

“I don’t know if she said yes,” Lexa responded with crinkled brows and a shake of her head, “I didn’t stick around to hear what she said because I was so mad.”

 

“Well, then I think you need to talk to her tomorrow first thing and hear her out completely. Let her say what she needs to say and then find out what she said to Costia so you can figure out how to deal with it from there because,” Clarke suggested maturely as a yawn broke her sentence, “She is important to you and you don’t have to deal with Costia anymore, that part of your life is over if you want it to be; even if Anya is in her wedding.”

 

“You’re right,” Lexa huffed as she sat down on the edge of the bed next to Clarke who moved to sit on her lap, her legs resting on the bed, “I’m sorry I woke you up at 1am to talk to you about my drama.”

 

“I don’t mind,” Clarke shrugged, yawning once more, “But do you think we can talk about this more in the morning?”

 

“Absolutely,” Lexa said with a small smile, leaning in to kiss Clarke softly; a small hum of approval leaving the blonde’s mouth, “Thank you.”

 

“For what, Lexa?”

 

“For listening to my crazy rambling, for always defending me, for always being friendly and without knowing it, being my soft place,” Lexa mumbled, resting her forehead on Clarke’s, “For somehow having a crush on me when we were younger, for being willing to take a chance on me.”

 

“You are not a chance,” Clarke spoke softly with a small smile with eyes closed, “You’re a sure thing to me.”

 

“Sleep time?” Lexa asked, leaning back momentarily.

 

“God yes,” Clarke mumbled enthusiastically as she shuffled to the top of the bed, pulling Lexa with her.

\---

Lexa sat outside of Clarke’s cabin, her eyes fixed on her shoes waiting for Clarke to return from her cabin group so they could go to the cookout breakfast together before she went to find Anya to talk things over prior the production.

 

She had been thinking about everything a lot that morning; thankful for having Clarke there to talk some sense into her. She had dreaded the start of camp, hoping to get a quick paycheque and get out of there but it was all suddenly starting to hit her that in a few weeks time; everything was going to change.

 

Clarke would go back to Texas temporarily, she would have to deal with the aftermath of her picking up and leaving for a year and would have to face her real life; hoping Anya would still be in it.

 

“If you stare at it long enough, you’ll burn a hole through your shoes,” She heard Clarke’s voice from above her, looking up to see Clarke as she moved to sit next to the brunette, placing her hand on the older woman’s knee, “You want to tell me what’s happening in that head of yours?”

 

“When I got to camp I was just ready for it to be over but now that we’re in the last few weeks, I’m not sure I want to leave,” Lexa said with a sarcastic chuckle, “And leave possibly for the very last time.”

 

“It could definitely be for the very last time, mom still hasn’t made up her mind,” Clarke responded seriously, “I know what you mean though. My life was drastically different when I came here to what it will be when I leave and that doesn’t even account for the fact that the camp we both grew up in might belong to someone else soon.”

 

“You were thinking about UCLA though even before you came.”

 

“I didn’t know whether I was actually going to go though,” Clarke replied with a small shrug, “What’s got you thinking like that?”

 

“The whole fight with Anya last night. She told me that Costia hadn’t seen me since I got back because I’ve been here and it made me realise that I’ll probably run into her, you’ll probably see her on campus,” Lexa looked to Clarke who only had eyes for her, making her chest tighten like the first time she had seen the younger woman that summer, “I have to face a reality that I made for myself by leaving, which I don’t regret because I needed that but I still have to face it. I have to try and get my internship back so I can finish my last year of medical school and start a career for myself. I have to deal with living back in LA and staying there for good and seeing people who I haven’t spoken to in a year. I should probably contact my parents at some point too.”

 

“You haven’t done that yet?” Clarke asked raised her eyebrows, “Lexa, you’re practically in their backyard.”

 

“No but I probably should soon, they’re away anyway” Lexa said simply, tilting her head slightly, “I can’t wait to show you LA and have you there. I’m one lucky girl.”

 

“I really wish you came back that year when I was going to tell you I had a huge crush on you,” Clarke joked as she grinned playfully, giving Lexa’s knee a small squeeze, “Maybe it wouldn’t have taken this so long for this to happen.”

 

“We were way too young,” Lexa laughed heartily, “I have no idea why it took me so long to realise what exactly you meant to me but I definitely wasn’t expecting it to smack me in the face so much as it did.”

 

“I know what you mean,” Clarke responded with a nod, “But here we are and we’re going to make it work. I’m going to be in Texas only for a little while then I’ll be back with you, ready to start a life in LA.”

 

“LA seems a lot more bearable already,” Lexa joked, leaning in to kiss Clarke softly.

 

What started as soft, began to build in an instant as Lexa placed her hand on the back of Clarke’s neck, holding her gently but firmly in place as she felt Clarke’s arm wrap around her waist gently. Lexa knew it was only a matter of time before things escalated and they were unable to stop themselves from exploring just exactly what each others limits were at that time and she was completely okay with that. She had never felt what she did when she kissed someone as she did when she kissed Clarke. Her whole body was on fire, from her head to her toes but she also felt as if she could have been frozen in time and wouldn’t have even known.

 

“We should probably continue that indoors when we have some more time,” Clarke said as she pulled away from Lexa reluctantly, her hand moving to rest on the top of Lexa’s chest just below her collarbone, “You’re dangerous.”

 

“I’m fairly sure that’s you,” Lexa said, swallowing thickly as she regathered herself, “We should get to breakfast anyway.”

 

“Yes we should,” Clarke said standing in an instant, holding her hand out for Lexa to take before they began walking to the outdoor camping grounds where the cookout was being held in place of the mess hall being used.

 

They ate their breakfast with their friends, with the exception of Anya and Raven who was busy helping Anya with the production. Clarke stole a quick kiss from Lexa when they found a private moment before the brunette started the walk up to the mess hall so she could speak to her best friend.

 

She arrived at the mess hall and it lived up to its name; there were props laying everywhere on the ground, the stage was in the process of being set up and tables had been pushed with no particular organisation towards the back of the room. She heard Anya before she saw her, which wasn’t difficult to do because she was standing in the middle of the mess hall with cardboard palm trees tucked under each arm.

 

“Is this a broadway set or are we still at Camp Jaha?” Lexa asked cautiously, hoping to break the ice with a joke as she took a few steps inside the mess hall, “Both impressive but I can’t say I have ever seen this much effort go into a camp production. I’m not quite sure this is what Clarke had in mind when she said they were having a small drama program.”

 

“I wasn’t expecting to see you here,” Anya said as she walked towards the stage, handing Raven the palm trees she had been holding as the other girl looked to Lexa and gave her an awkward smile; obviously having been told what had happened, “I wasn’t sure whether you’d come here at all today.”

 

“Don’t be stupid, today is huge,” Lexa said with a nod and an unsure look on her face, “Besides, you need all the help you can get.”

 

“So you’re here to help?”

 

“No water play today so I’m all yours up until tonight,” Lexa offered as a gesture of peace.

 

“Yeah, then her ass belongs to Clarke,” Raven called from the stage, laughing quietly at her own joke.

 

“Actually my ass is mine and yes, maybe Clarke’s but I just mean I’ll be here until you need to pack everything down,” Lexa responded, fighting a small smile on her face, “Or I can be as far away from here as you want.”

 

“Do you want to step outside?” Anya asked with a loud sigh, turning to her younger friend.

 

“I’m guessing Raven knows everything so I’m happy to do this here,” Lexa replied with a shrug, “If you are that is.”

 

“Well, I can’t say that I’m happy that you walked out on me at almost 1am and weren’t in our cabin but I guess I don’t blame you,” Anya grumbled, folding her arms tightly in front of her, “I shouldn’t have to choose between you two if I don’t want to.”

 

“You’re right and I was upset about the fact that Costia has taken a lot from me and I’m not willing to let you be added to that list,” Lexa responded as she toyed with the hem line of her long blue button up shirt, “To me, it seems like a power play from her.”

 

“It’s not,” Anya rolled her eyes with a shake of her head.

 

“It just got to me that I feel like she is trying to prove something to me, that she can still get to me by proving your more of a friend to her than you are to me,” Lexa shrugged, grimacing at her words, “I sound pathetic.”

 

“Yes, you do,” Anya replied with a quick nod but a sympathetic smile threatened to break through her tough exterior.

 

“What I’m trying to say is that if you want to be in her wedding then you should,” Lexa continued with an unsure look on her face, “I can’t say that I will be very supportive or I’ll listen to any wedding talk because I don’t even want to hear her name after this but I want you to do whatever you want to do.”

 

“I know, and if I want to be in Costia’s wedding; I’ll do it,” Anya said taking steps towards her younger friend until they were standing a few feet apart, “But you stormed off huffing and puffing before I could tell you that I said no straight away.”

 

“You did?” Lexa raised an eyebrow, her tone full of displaying as much surprise as her facial expression.

 

“Of course I did,” Anya responded quickly, “She might have been my friend beforehand and you may have ditched me for a year to travel but I have your back just like I know you have mine. I didn’t have to choose between you two but I know I made the right decision and I’m just glad to see you better off now. That and you’re about to be a paediatrician and make bank so I need to be there when that happens.”

 

“Have I ever told you how much I love you?” Lexa asked with a chuckle, moving her hands to rest on her hips.

 

“Come here you awkward angry woman,” Anya said jokingly, pulling her friend in for a tight hug momentarily before pushing Lexa away playfully, “Enough of this mushy stuff, I need your help.”

 

“That’s what I’m here for, boss,” Lexa answered with a wide smile, feeling a wave of relief wash over her body.

 

“While we’re working, I need to ask you something,” Raven called from the stage, “And I also need you to hand me any palm tree on the floor.”

 

“Sure thing,” Lexa responded, ducking quickly to pick up anything she could grab off the floor.

 

“You and Clarke, are you official yet?” Raven asked curiously as Lexa approached the stage, seeing a slight blush creep on her cheeks.

 

“We’re not putting any pressure on ourselves right now seeing as she is moving to LA soon,” Lexa replied with a small shrug, “We’re taking it as it happens.”

 

“So her mom walking in on you two making out is going slow?” Raven challenged slyly, a knowing smirk on her face as Lexa reached the stage, “I’m a little confused.”

 

“We’re going about as slow as you and Anya, besides the fact that we didn’t have sex with almost immediately but we like each other and it’s really working for us since we had the guts to admit it,” Lexa shot back smartly, a look of shock replacing Raven’s smirk, “Am I wrong?”

 

“Touché,” Raven nodded, looking at the back of the mess hall to find Anya completely engrossed in what she was doing before whispering, “Am I that obvious?”

 

“You thought I was,” Lexa replied, “She might say she hates relationships but she’s just scared, she likes you.”

 

“I really like her. We were a summer fling but I am starting to get some major feelings for your best friend.”

 

“Me too,” Lexa said quickly, as Raven’s features tightened into a frown before her eyes widened and her hands came up defensively, “What I meant was that I have major feelings for your best friend, Clarke.”

 

“You’re too easy, I knew you meant that,” Raven responded with a shrug, crouching down so that she could whisper, “I might have to come visit Clarke a lot.”

 

“I think that would be a good idea and a certain someone would love it,” Lexa nodded, her smile reappearing on her face before they were interrupted by a loud voice at the back of the mess hall.

 

“I need you two to work and talk if that’s what you’re going to do!” Anya called firmly, “Lexa, great to have you back and I love you but I really need you to put in the work today or there will be a lot of screaming kids I will throw in the water for you to save.”

 

“Wow, okay,” The medical student replied with a quick nod, “Understood, ma’am.”

 

\---

Surprisingly, the play was a complete success and went off without a hitch besides a few missed lines and prop locations. The Romeo and Juliet reboot would surely go down in Camp Jaha history as the best and biggest camp production ever held within the grounds of the summer camp.

 

Lexa could see the anxiety on Anya’s face as the production started, her lips mouthing almost every single word as a few talented kids delivered what she thought was her masterpiece; but that all seemed to fade the further through the play they got and the more confident Anya grew in the kids. The younger girl could see a sense of pride on her best friend’s face as soon as they play was finished, standing to an ovation of the campers and her fellow councillors. Lexa struggled to understand the modernised concepts that Anya had written in but she was the actress and she was the creative one so she just tried to enjoy what she could and follow where she could; knowing that Anya would scold her later for asking questions she had to.

 

Clarke had gone missing towards the end of the production, ducking out upon her mom’s request and not returning until towards the end of pack up. The entire group of friends helped Anya pack everything they could away that night, Octavia even taking a nap as she sat against the wall in the corner of the room taking stock of whatever needed to be returned to the drama cabin. It was a late night for them all but they had planned to finishing it off on a high, the group deciding to hang out together in Lincoln and Octavia’s cabin for a little while.

 

“Have you called your parents?” Clarke asked as she locked up one side of the mess hall, Lexa leaning on a table as she waited for the other woman; being the only two left in the large hall, “You said you were going to.”

 

“Nope,” Lexa said awkwardly with her hand coming up to run the back of her neck, “If I actually get onto them then I have to talk to them and tell them I’m here and that’s going to open up a whole can of worms.”

 

“It doesn’t have to,” Clarke shrugged, pulling the door closed with a quiet grunt before turning back to Lexa, “You are just calling to say hi and maybe it’s a good thing if you have to explain yourself.”

 

“I’m not sure who that’s a good thing for,” Lexa responded with a sigh, “You’ll understand when you meet them and spend more than 5 minutes with them.”

 

“I just think you’re being stubborn,” Clarke said with a chuckle, walking over to Lexa slowly to stop in front of her, hands resting on the brunette’s shoulders as she stood between the older woman’s legs, “So you and Anya are all okay?”

 

“We’re fine, thank you for talking everything out with me,” Lexa nodded, her hands reaching to rest on Clarke’s waist, distracted by the woman in front of her, “You are perfect, Clarke Griffin.”

 

“I’m not sure where you got that from because that’s far from the truth,” Clarke shook her head quickly, leaning down to steal a kiss from Lexa’s lips before leaning back once more, “I’m glad you think so. I’m not the one who would have left trails of broken hearts all over Europe though.”

 

“That’s not even true,” Lexa rolled her eyes with a grin, “Believe me, the last thing I wanted was anything to do with hooking up with feelings or without them. There were no broken hearts in Europe.”

 

“No, that just confirms to me that there was with that attitude,” Clarke added playfully, moving strands of hair that had fallen over Lexa’s face behind her ear, “You’re a beautiful, funny, challenging, smart, independent woman. I don’t know what Costia was thinking but it worked well for me.”

 

“Emphasis on the challenging part, I know that much,” Lexa joked with a nod, swallowing thickly at the sparkle in Clarke’s eyes that sent a shiver right down her spine, “What happened last year broke my heart and I know that before this summer you thought your life would be as you had planned it but I’m glad I came to Camp Jaha one more time. I needed closure on this place and I’ve definitely gotten it in a big way. I guess I only have you to thank for that.”

 

“Finn and I ran our race. I love the guy but I think we mistook our strong friendship for something else,” Clarke reasonably explained with a shrug, “You’re what I want and you’re what I need; I realised that almost as soon as I saw you on the first day.”

 

“I never thought I would say this but thank god for Camp Jaha,” Lexa laughed to herself quietly, her smile growing as Clarke laughed with her, her chest tightening as Clarke moved her hands to run her hands through the brunette’s hair on the back of her head, “I also can’t believe Anya pulled all of that off.”

 

“She just pulled off probably the best production of this place but also the very last one,” Clarke confessed seriously, “Mom signed off today, Camp Jaha is closing on the last day so we have just 1 final week in this place.”

 

“Wow,” Lexa spoke quickly with wide eyes, pulling the blonde as close as she could, “How do you feel about that?”

 

“I feel a lot of different things but I’m not sure it’s hit me yet,” Clarke shrugged, pausing for a moment to think; her eyes moving around the mess hall before returning her focus to the woman in front of her, “This place is practically my childhood, which is filled with such good memories and bad all wrapped into one. The hardest part about this is going to be how much this place reminds me of dad and how I feel like I’m losing a huge piece of him.”

 

“You’re not losing any part of him,” Lexa offered delicately, her hands gripping Clarke’s shirt around her waist tightly, “You’ll be at UCLA where he was, it’ll just be a different place. We’ll just have to give this place a proper goodbye.”

 

“We definitely will,” Clarke responded, “It’s definitely sad but I think my mom needs this, especially with me moving to California; she needs a fresh start and it’s too much for her to take care of by herself.”

 

“So when is she going to tell everyone?”

 

“I’m not sure, I’m going to tell everyone when we get to Lincoln and Octavia’s cabin,” Clarke said taking a step backwards, bringing Lexa to stand from the table, “They deserve to know where I’ve been sneaking off to.”

 

“We should probably head over before they send a search party,” Lexa nodded with her hands firmly planted still on Clarke’s waist, “I think I’ll try and call my parents on the way.”

 

“That’s a good idea,” Clarke responded, wrapping her arms around Lea’s shoulders to pull her into a tight hug; breathing in the flowery scent of her hair, “You should at least try to talk to them if they’re still around.”

 

“Yeah,” Lexa spoke simply, savouring the feel of the other woman’s body pressed against her own, completely engulfing her senses, “You give good hugs.”

 

“I was just thinking the same thing,” Clarke chuckled lightly, pulling from the hug before capturing Lexa’s lips in a swift kiss, “Come on, let’s get this heckling over with when we see everyone.”

 

They arrived at the cabin shortly, Lexa’s call to her parents ending in her leaving a voicemail; which by self-admission was the most contact they had experienced in months. She sighed as she put her phone back in her pocket; getting a sympathetic look from Clarke as they entered the cabin where their friends were waiting.

 

“Why does it always take you two so long to go anywhere?” Bellamy asked with a shake of his head as Clarke moved to sit next to Raven and Lexa found a seat across from them next to Anya.

 

“Look at them, they’re two beautiful women,” Octavia said with a grin, “Who can blame them for not being able to keep their hands off each other. You know what it’s like.”

 

“I’m all levels of confused,” Monty laughed heartily, “Octavia, I didn’t realise you too had feelings for Lexa and Clarke.”

 

“Shut up, you know what I mean,” Octavia rolled her eyes, hugging Lincoln’s arm tightly.

 

“So I have to say, you put on a pretty fantastic production,” Lexa turned to her best friend, giving her a quick and gentle slap on the knee, “I was extremely impressed.”

 

“It could have been better if I had proper costumes but I was impressed too,” Anya nodded with a grin, “Some of those kids can act; not as well as me but some of them could have something.”

 

“My favourite part was the Capulet silent dance party,” Jasper said as he looked around the room, “Way to modernise.”

 

“That was all my idea,” Raven put her hand up eagerly, “Who doesn’t love a silent dance party.”

 

“Gustus was so confused when we moved to that scene, it was priceless.” Bellamy chuckled as he looked around the group, “I can’t believe we only have one more week until the summer is over.”

 

“Then we have to go back to reality and school soon after that,” Monty groaned, “Can’t we just stay here for a little longer?”

 

“One of us is even moving cross country,” Raven said nudging Clarke with a grin before looking over to Lexa, “Though she is in good hands.”

 

“I think we should be allowed to stay for a little longer,” Lincoln nodded as Lexa caught Clarke’s eyes; her smile evening out to somewhat of a more subdued look; Lexa seeing the wheels turning in her mind.

 

“Well, actually not only is this the last week of this summer…” Clarke began to talk, clearing her throat before she continued, “This is the last week of Camp Jaha ever.”

 

“What?” Raven raised her eyebrows, turning her whole body to face her friend, “What do you mean?”

 

“I’ve been ducking in and out of camp because I’ve been going with my mom to business meetings and talking to her about the fact that someone wanted to buy the land to make it into a corporate type retreat,” Clarke confessed with a guilty look on her face, holding her hands up defensively, “And I only didn’t say anything because I didn’t know what decision she was going to make until she signed the papers today and now it’s official.”

 

“Wow.” Bellamy said, almost on behalf of the group, “I did not see that coming.”

 

“My mom thinks it’s the right time and she can’t look after this place by herself so we’re heading into the last week ever of Camp Jaha,” Clarke admitted with a nod, looking around her friends as her eyes landed on Lexa, who gave her a sympathetic look, “So no one is staying after because I also need you all to help me pack.”

 

“I’m going to have to come and visit so much,” Raven said with wide eyes, her gaze moving to Anya who grinned; which wasn’t missed at all by Lexa, “It’s not going to hit me that you’re gone until you are.”

 

“That’s probably how it should work,” Jasper joked, only to receive a pillow thrown at his face.

 

“We’re just going to have to make this last week the best week ever at Camp Jaha then,” Bellamy offered to the group that cheered as loudly as they could without waking any campers nearby.

 

“So I called my parents,” Lexa said turning to Anya as the rest of the group continued to talk amongst themselves about the last week of camp.

 

“You did?” Anya asked with a cocked eyebrow and a puzzled expression, “Why?”

 

“Because Clarke kind of made me realise that they might not be the best parents but they’re still around,” Lexa responded with a shrug, “And by around, I mean alive because all I got was voicemail and I’m not expecting a reply.”

 

“They dumped you here every summer so this one is no different,” Anya joked brazenly with a shrug, “I’m kidding but your family is here too, Lexa so I wouldn’t worry about it too much. You know what they’re like, they care about you in their own way but you know how unhappy they were when you went to Europe.”

 

“I certainly do,” Lexa nodded, quietly sighing, “You’re right though, you’re more family than they are.”

 

“So is everyone in this room now,” Anya said quietly and reassuringly, “Especially that blonde over there who has her eyes locked on you.”

 

Lexa looked up to see Clarke exactly like Anya had said, her eyes only for the brunette with a grin on her face and a look of fulfilment in her eyes, making the older woman shiver. Her heart was full because of Clarke and it was unlike anything she had experienced before. Their time at Camp Jaha was coming to an end but she knew her time with Clarke was only just beginning.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 11, one more to post before this is finished.
> 
> This chapter is a little more mature that the others but hopefully you'll all enjoy it. 
> 
> I'll post Chapter 12 very soon.

It was the very last week of Camp Jaha, there were mixed emotions around the camp grounds with new and old camp friendships coming to end for another year but the call of home was almost too much for some of the campers to stand. Abby had told the camp councillors about the fact that she had sold Camp Jaha and advised them that the new owners were wanting to interview anyone that was interested who had previously worked at the camp grounds for possible permanent jobs. The news came as a shock to some, others had their suspicions but everyone agreed to wait until the last few days of camp to announce to the kids and their parents that Camp Jaha would be no longer once they left. 

 

It wasn’t all sad though, the last week of Camp Jaha also meant it was the annual kayak race on the lake; which gave one pair the ultimate bragging rights and a giant trophy to match. Campers were asked to enter their teams at the beginning of the summer, councillors also encouraged to team up if they wanted to enter the race. Lexa originally hadn’t signed up at all for the race, opting to sit out until Clarke had told her she originally agreed to pair up with Finn and now needed someone to step in. 

 

So she found herself on the lake with the dozens of other teams that had entered, more Campers than Councillors this year granted that the Councillors had further to paddle before they turned around to come back for the finishing line to even up the playing field. Lexa sat in the back of the two person kayak; Clarke sitting in front of her as she looked along the bank of the lake to see the whole camp had come to watch. 

 

“Now don’t be too sad when we humiliate you,” Gustus grinned enthusiastically as he and Marcus floated up beside the pair, “It will be embarrassing but that can’t be helped.”

 

“Oh, you’re going to humiliate us?” Lexa raised her eyebrow, “Well that sounded like a bit of a challenge to me, it’s a good thing I’ve won this race before.”

 

“I don’t believe you,” Gustus shook his head with an unsure look on his face

 

“She actually did,” Clarke interjected with a nod, “She was in a kayak with my dad the last year she was here and they won.”

 

“So I’m going to win again and humiliate you instead,” Lexa responded as she put her paddle into the water, “Now that will be embarrassing.” 

 

“How did you get Anya to sign up?” Marcus asked gesturing to Anya and Raven who floated at the back of the pack, Anya not looking enthused one bit. 

 

“That was Raven’s doing,” Lexa laughed as she looked at her out of place best friend, “I even tried to sign her up and she wouldn’t do it.” 

 

“Are you guys talking about how we’re going to win?” Raven called as she noticed multiple eyes on her, “Because we’re a great team.”

 

“No,” They all said at the same time, causing Raven to frown and huff. 

 

Lexa looked around at the large number of teams in the lake, slowly pushing themselves towards the front of the pack; knowing it’s hard to break out of it once everyone starts. 

 

“You’re serious about this,” Clarke said with an amused tone, turning around with a smirk on her lips, “This isn’t about winning, Lex.”

 

“Yes it totally is,” Lexa responded with a nod, “And we need to beat Gustus so I need you firing, Clarke.” 

 

“I almost forgot about that serious competitive streak in you before capture the flag,” Clarke laughed, splashing the other woman lightly with her paddle, “Almost.” 

 

“Okay Camp Jaha, it’s time for the Kayak race!” Abby called from the boardwalk as a cheer came from all those watching, “First team to reach their marker and come back to the finish line are the winners.”

 

“Which is going to be us,” Lexa heard Gustus mutter behind them. 

 

The starting gun started without much warning, causing everyone to flinch before they launched into their race. Lexa and Clarke dug in to give themselves a decent amount of speed to start, breaking out into the middle of the pack of campers and councillors. The start was rough, water being splashed everywhere and paddles hitting kayaks but the further down the lake they went, the more the field opened up. 

 

“Coming through!” The pair heard as they felt their momentum almost stop, Gustus holding his giant hand on the side of their kayak to slow them down as they passed. 

 

Clarke reacted quickly, pushing their kayak away with her paddle; causing a large unbalance between Gustus and Marcus; sending them overboard. 

 

“I didn’t mean to do that!” Clarke called as they continued to move forward, leaving the capsized pair laughing loudly behind them, “I actually didn’t mean to do that.”

 

“I like you more and more each day,” Lexa joked as she slowed her strokes, being overtaken by a few pairs of campers, “We can go easy now, I just wanted to beat Gustus.” 

 

“With that attitude, you’re not going to win,” Octavia called as she and Bellamy pushed their way past Lexa and Clarke, “Team Blake are in it to win it.” 

 

Lexa and Clarke kept her pace in the middle of the pack all the way up until the marker to turn around, noticing that the campers distance was a lot shorter than theirs; knowing they were going to finish towards the end of the pack. 

 

“I think I found a place to live,” Clarke said suddenly as they moved around the marker, causing Lexa to pause her stroke, “I was hoping to ask for a favour.” 

 

“Of course,” Lexa responded quickly, eagerly awaiting the blonde’s next words. 

 

“I spoke to my mom this morning; it turns out mom knows someone in LA who owns a few apartments not too far from UCLA and one just opened up but I need to make a decision on it pretty quickly,” Clarke began explaining slowly, “I need you to keep paddling though as well.” 

 

“Right, yep.” Lexa nodded, shaking herself from her daze as she continued to help glide the kayak through the water. 

 

“I know this is probably weird and I’m pretty much happy to take anything but when you get back I was going to ask if you could go take a look for me, just to make sure the roof won’t collapse on me or anything.” Clarke asked sheepishly, glancing back to the brunette, “I know you have a lot to do when you get home though so I totally understand if you can’t.”

 

“Of course I will, Clarke. Just give me whatever details and I’ll go when I get back,” Lexa said with a warm smile covering her face, “It kind of drives it home that you’re going to be in LA with me soon, which is crazy to think.”

 

“I know and it’s probably really weird for you,” Clarke began to take quickly.

 

“No, it’s so great,” Lexa interrupted quietly, “Sometimes I catch myself thinking that you’re just going back to Texas and that’s it.”

 

“You’re going to be stuck with me for as long as you’ll allow it,” Clarke offered, feeling her cheeks tire from the smile on her face, “I’m nervous as hell but I’m excited.”

 

“Only if you promise me I’m stuck with you because I’ve wasted a lot of time without you now,” Lexa spoke sincerely, her heartbeat increasing at the very thought of having Clarke that close to her permanently, “Because I know we’ll be outside of this bubble and in real life but I can’t wait to have you in LA with me.”

 

“I can’t wait to be there,” Clarke responded, matching her sincerity, “You really have always been inevitable for me; I guess I should have noticed it before.” 

 

“We both should have.” Lexa shrugged with a loud sigh, “I’m not going to replicate my win with your dad, am I?”

 

“I actually think someone has already won,” Clarke chuckled as they continued to paddle, “We’re not too far away and at least we beat Gustus, right?”

 

“That’s the main thing,” Lexa confirmed, “I haven’t seen Anya or Raven though, which I’m not surprised about honestly.” 

 

They soon made it back to the finish, ending up in the middle of the pack; finding a dripping wet Gustus and Marcus standing by the shore of the lake, Lexa’s smug smile on display as they pulled their kayak onto land. 

 

“That was a real shame,” Lexa eyed Gustus momentarily before she was picked up by the man himself, walking into the water and throwing her in, the smug look now on his face. 

 

“So was that,” Gustus said jokingly as Lexa surfaced from the lake, watching as Gustus held his hand out that she gruffly took to help herself up, “But we’re even now kid.” 

 

“We’re far from even,” Lexa disagreed as she fought a smile from appearing on her face, “We still have the flour war before this is all over so you better watch your back.”

 

“Okay, Rambo,” Clarke said with a playful roll of her eyes as she handed a soaking wet Lexa a towel; her eyes widening as she looked over Lexa’s shoulder, “Well now we know where Raven and Anya were though,” 

 

The brunette woman turned around to see Anya and Raven, who both looked like drowned rats, lugging their kayak next them to shore; stopping next to Lexa. 

 

“So how are you dry and she’s wet?” Raven asked, pushing her hair from her face, “I think something got up my nose.”

 

“We made it the whole way, Gustus just threw me in,” Lexa laughed loudly as she looked to her best friend who looked like a complete mess with makeup smeared over her face and her hair in a piled mess, “What happened to you?”

 

“I’m glad you think it’s so funny,” Anya muttered as she took Lexa’s towel to try her face, “I knew I shouldn’t have agreed to this.”

 

“So why did you?” Lexa challenged through her laughter, “And what happened?”

 

“We tipped over on the way back, we went to the campers marker,” Raven grinned with a shrug, “It was pretty funny.” 

 

“I’m not sure funny is the word for it,” Anya retorted, throwing Lexa’s towel over her shoulders. 

 

“Funny sure looks like the word for it,” Lexa chuckled before flinching, feeling Anya punch her in the arm lightly. 

 

Lexa spent a majority of the day on the lake with a few helpers, packing up from the kayak race before the rest of the camp headed up to the mess hall for the talent show that night after dinner. She didn’t see much of Clarke that afternoon, who was busy helping her cabin group prepare for their dance routine; which she was told was definitely entertaining to say the least. An early morning paired with a day out on the water meant that Lexa wasn’t going to spend her evening at the talent show after dinner when she didn’t have to be there; instead she spent most of her night helping set up for the flour war coming up on the second last day before going back to her cabin to find Anya reading on her bed. 

 

“I thought you would be at the talent show,” Lexa said as she paused at the door, closing it behind her as Anya looked lazily up from her book. 

 

“I judged,” Anya nodded with a small smile, “You look wrecked.” 

 

“It’s over already?” Lexa raised her eyebrows, pulling out her phone from her pocket to see that it was almost 11:00pm and she had been outside helping for the whole night, “Okay, time got away from me.”

 

“Yeah, Raven tried to bribe me so her cabin would win but I had to use my expertise for good rather than evil,” Anya shrugged, putting her book down and watching her friend carefully, “You okay?”

 

“I’m exhausted,” Lexa moved to her bed, collapsing on it dramatically before lifting her head to look at Anya, “I got an email response from my parents while I was helping with the flour war.” 

 

“You did?” Anya asked sympathetically with a quiet sigh, “That’s a bit rough, even for them.” 

 

“They’re in Paris apparently,” Lexa mumbled as she pulled out her phone, opening the email, “Dearest Alexandra, Sorry we missed you call; we’re in Paris for the next few weeks. We’re glad you went back to Camp Jaha, it’s fantastic to hear you are back in Colorado where you belong. Call us if you want to discuss moving back here permanently, we’ll catch up soon.”

 

“You’ll catch up soon?” Anya responded with wide eyes, “You’re not friends trying to set up a coffee date, you’re trying to talk to your parents.” 

 

“They’re angry with me because of Europe but they’ve had a year to get over it now,” Lexa shook her head with a groan, “Though I mean it’s not like they were the best communicators before I went anyway.” 

 

“They’re really not,” The older woman agreed, “So do you really think they don’t know about Costia or why you went to Europe?” 

 

“I have no idea, they never let me explain so when I do eventually see them again and I’m with Clarke, they’re going to wonder what’s going on.” Lexa explained with a shrug. 

 

“They continue to be a mystery to me. You’re about to be a paediatrician for god’s sake; how much prouder could they be?” 

 

“A lot more apparently,” Lexa muttered, more to herself than to Anya, “Can you believe this thing is almost over?”

 

“I know. Here we were, thinking it was just going to be a pay cheque and now I’m a tiny bit sad that this place is being sold.” Anya said honestly, rolling on her back to look up at the ceiling, “This rustic old place has actually grown on me and so have the people.”

 

“Raven in particular?” Lexa asked with raised eyebrows. 

 

“Yeah but for the very last time, we’re just keeping it casual and I just think…” Anya said as she paused, “Okay, yeah, I like the girl a lot.”

 

“That wasn’t so difficult to admit now, was it?” Lexa questioned as she rolled on her side to watch her friend, “I knew it.”

 

“I know but the problem is that things are different for her and I compared to you and Clarke,” Anya shrugged, furrowing her eyebrows in thought, “Clarke was already moving to LA for school and you both know how to hold a stable relationship. Raven’s feet are firmly planted in Texas and I wouldn’t know the first thing about being in a real relationship. I might like her but that’s as far as it’s going to get and our circumstances mean that we’re the very definition of a summer fling.”

 

“I think if you both wanted it enough, you could make it work but I won’t say anything else,” Lexa offered with a small smile, “At least she’ll come and visit a lot with her best friend living in LA now.”

 

There was a loud knock on the door, both girls looking at each other before the loud knock repeated itself again; Anya pouting as she looked at Lexa who sighed loudly and got up to open the door. 

 

“I need to borrow your cabin,” Raven said as she stood at the door, “Is Anya back yet?”

 

“Yep,” Lexa opened the door so that she could see Anya, pausing when she saw Lexa’s best friend, “You need to borrow our cabin?”

 

“Yes, and I need you to leave,” Raven said seriously with an expectant smile. 

 

“You want us to leave?” Lexa asked with confusion etched all over her face, not understanding what Raven was asking. 

 

“No, I need just you to leave,” Raven responded with a grin, her tone still serious which made Lexa believe that she wasn’t kidding, “Please.” 

 

“Oh right, well now that you’ve said please; sure thing,” Lexa said sarcastically before continuing, “No, I’m not going to just leave my cabin when I’m tired so you two can have sex in here. I don’t even want to think about it. Why can’t you use your cabin?”

 

“Because I share one with another councillor and she wouldn’t be too happy,” Raven responded quickly, “So please, I need to borrow your cabin.”

 

“Raven, no.” 

 

“Okay well you can stay then but I’m coming in,” Raven said as she took a step towards the door, her last sentence making Lexa move quickly out of the door, walking outside, “Thank you.”

 

“You owe me,” Lexa grumbled as she heard the door close behind her, shuddering to think of what exactly made Raven so demanding. 

 

She went to the only place she could think, knocking on the door to no answer, guessing that Clarke was still dealing with her campers before she came back to her cabin. She waited there for half an hour, silently cursing Raven for kicking her out of her own cabin, standing to her feet when she saw Clarke walking down the path; smiling instantly as she saw the other woman. 

 

“Not that I don’t love that you’re here but you have a cabin that I was just going to visit you in,” Clarke said with a broad grin as she arrived to stand just inches from Lexa, “Hi.”

 

“Hi,” Lexa mumbled as she leaned in to kiss Clarke softly, “It’s a good thing you didn’t come to my cabin because god know what you would have seen.”

 

“Raven and Anya?” Clarke asked with wide eyes.

 

“I was ready to go to sleep when Raven practically kicked me out of my own cabin,” The brunette spoke slowly, her stomach tying in knots as she looked at the woman in front of her, “I think you just get more beautiful as the days go on.”

 

“Come on, romeo” Clarke said through a chuckle, “You can come and stay with me tonight.” 

 

“Thank you,” Lexa spoke shyly as Clarke opened her cabin door, leading Lexa in behind her by the hand before closing the door, “How was the talent show?”

 

“It was long as per usual,” The blonde shrugged, letting go of Lexa’s hand to pull her blinds shut, “How did set up go?” 

 

“Well, I’ve inhaled so much flour that I think my blood is about to turn into glue,” Lexa said jokingly as she sat on the edge of Clarke’s bed, “But it’s pretty much all set up and ready to go.” 

 

“Do you remember our last flour war?” Clarke asked, her face lighting up as she recalled the memory in her head, “Someone had just nailed me and you chased him down, I can’t remember who it was but you chased him down and I think you made him cry because you got him so well.” 

 

“I don’t remember his name either but I definitely remember that game,” Lexa replied with a sly grin, her mind distracted at that twinkle she had spotted in Clarke’s eyes once again whenever she looked at the brunette; it was enough to take her breath away every time, “I’ll try not to make anyone cry this time.”

 

“Unless it’s Gustus, then by all means go ahead,” Clarke laughed to herself, leaning with her back up against the window and her hands tucked behind her back, “I didn’t realised how much I missed having you here those years you were gone until you showed up here again.” 

 

“I didn’t realise how much I missed being here with you until I showed up here again,” Lexa said honestly with a small smile, “Are you sure you still want to give this a try when we leave here? My life can be all sorts of complicated.” 

 

“So can everyone’s,” Clarke answered, pushing herself from the wall to move in front of Lexa, bravely moving to straddle the brunette woman’s hips to sit on her lap whilst resting her hands on her shoulders, “And I think I’m way too far gone to make any other decision.” 

 

Lexa couldn’t help herself and she leaned in to kiss Clarke as passionately as she could muster, her hand moving to the back of Clarke’s neck to tangle her fingers in her loose hair tightly. She felt Clarke grip the material of her shirt tightly around her shoulders, sighing into the kiss as both of their heartrates began to increase dramatically. Lexa’s other hand moved to the small of Clarke’s back, pushing their bodies as close together as she could manage; needing to feel as close as she could to the younger woman on top of her. Lexa’s entire body felt as if it were on fire and surging with electricity at the same time, the hand on her back slowly pushing under the material of Clarke’s shirt, allowing her time to stop it if she needed to but she only got a hum of approval as her fingertips touched the bare skin of the blonde’s back. 

 

Clarke leaned back suddenly, breaking the kiss only to reach down and pull off her own shirt; throwing it on the other side of the room before moving right back to where she was; pushing Lexa’s back onto the bed as she continued to kiss the older woman fiercly. Lexa felt like she was about to combust as her hand bravely moved to cup Clarke’s breast firmly over the material of her bra, squeezing enough to feel it but not enough to hurt the woman she was growing to treasure so much; feeling a small satisfaction as Clarke gasped quietly in approval. Her chest heaved as Clarke pulled away again, her eyes widening as she took in Clarke’s beautiful form when she sat up only to look down at Lexa shyly. 

 

“Before this goes any further,” Clarke said with a husky tone, her voice alone almost making Lexa groan in anticipation, trailing a hand down Lexa’s toned stomach over her shirt “I want to know where on the same page and this is okay.” 

 

“This is more than okay,” Lexa nodded eagerly, sitting up as Clarke tugged on Lexa’s shirt; their faces inches apart, “Are you okay with this though? Is it too fast?”

 

“I don’t know if this is too fast but I’ve never wanted something so much in my life,” Clarke confessed sheepishly, closing her eyes as she rested her forehead against Lexa’s, “I’ve wanted you since I saw you by your car on the first day.” 

 

Her words combined with the desire and need in her voice was enough for Lexa; needing to feel the other woman against her once more. She moved to pull Clarke down towards her once more, feeling a slight resistance against her; opening her eyes to see a smirk on Clarke’s face. 

 

“You’re wearing too much clothing,” Clarke mumbled, their lips crashing together once more as the blonde pulled Lexa’s shirt over her head, discarding it somewhere near her own; breaking the kiss for only seconds before they captured each others lips again in a needy kiss, “Better.”

 

Before anything else could happen and before Clarke knew what was going on, Lexa placed a hand behind the small of the younger woman’s back, flipping them on the bed quickly so she could be on top. She felt Clarke smile against her lips, causing a smile of her own to break out on her face. The brunette shifted her body to pin down Clarke’s hips with her own gently; earning another hum of approval from the woman below her; taking her lower lip between her teeth softly. Clarke responded by running her fingers slowly over Lexa’s back, a shiver ripping through her body as she felt the gentle contact. 

 

Lexa’s mind was spinning, she was having to remind herself that it wasn’t a dream and what was happening was very real. The electricity and chemistry that was flowing between the two of them was unlike anything she had ever felt before; knowing that what was happening between them was legitimate and that was a powerful feeling. The only thing she wanted to do was make Clarke felt safe and make Clarke feel good but she knew she needed to take her time and savour the moment. 

 

The Brunette reluctantly broke away from Clarke’s mouth, moving to her neck to nip the soft skin with her teeth, inhaling the intoxicating smell of her hair as she then soothed the same spot with a soft kiss. She took Clarke’s earlobe in her mouth, nibbling on it gently as she felt Clarke’s nails scratch the skin on her back.

 

“Not fair,” Clarke rasped quietly, breathing heavily after she spoke. 

 

Lexa knew she didn’t need a response, only grinning to herself as she shifted her body slightly to move down to the base of her neck; placing gentle but attentive kisses against her collarbone. She felt Clarke tugging on the clasp of her bra, her heartbeat picking up further as she reached back to help her unclasp it; removing it so her bare chest made contact with Clarke’s. Both girls shivered almost simultaneously, Lexa feeling Clarke’s attention change to run a hand through the brunette’s hair; grasping it as the brunette continued to move slowly down the crevice between her breasts, paying attention to each spot her lips came in contact with. 

 

“God, you’re beautiful,” She heard Clarke whisper through the silence of the cabin, her chest tightening once more; reaching the point of her bellybutton to feel Clarke shift her hips upwards slightly. 

 

Lexa teased the blonde woman harmlessly, running her fingers between the waistband of her jeans; feeling the material of her of her underwear between her fingers and Clarke’s skin. The Blonde’s fingers tightened around Lexa’s hair, knowing she was doing all the right things for the other woman. She inched lower, placing passionate kisses against the waistband where her fingers were a moment ago, peering up to meet the blonde’s gaze. 

 

“Are you sure you’re okay with this?” Lexa questioned one last time, unsure of whether she had the strength to resist but would only continue if Clarke gave her a responds that assured her. 

 

“I’m more than okay,” Clarke answered, the husk still thick in her tone, a fire blazing in her eyes, “I might not be if you stop though.”

 

“I better not then,” Lexa joked with a shake of her head, moving her hand to unclip the top button on Clarke’s jeans. 

 

The two women spent the entire night exploring each other’s bodies, passionately engaged in their own world for hours as they shared an intimacy like nothing they had ever felt before. The cabins temperature raising considerably as the two drifted off to sleep in each others arms, completely content with what had just happened. Lexa was wholly captivated by the younger woman, puzzled as to how she was so fortunate to have Clarke now and what right turn she made in her life for this to have happened. It was overwhelming and completely spellbinding to experience what they knew they were both feeling and whilst they knew they still had a lot to learn about each other now; they knew that they were exactly where they needed to be. It was realer than anything they had experienced before.

 

Lexa groaned quietly as she felt the sun hit her eyes harshly, tucking her head further into Clarke’s neck and shifting her body closer to the warmth of the other woman’s. She heard Clarke chuckle quietly, stroking her fingers lightly against her bare back.

 

“We have to get up very soon,” She heard Clarke whisper hoarsely into her ear, “Though I’d be happy to stay here all day.”

 

“Can’t we just pretend we’re sick?” Lexa grumbled, tightening her grip on Clarke’s waist, “I guess we can’t with only a few days left.” 

 

“Not really,” Clarke shook her head, pausing before she continued, “I think I should tell Raven to kick you out of your cabin more often.” 

 

“And you’re still okay with what happened?” Lexa asked picking up her head to look Clarke in the eyes, seeing the tired but happy expression on her face; the blue orbs beaming with affection. 

 

Clarke didn’t speak, moving slightly to capture Lexa’s lips in a gentle kiss; breaking away only once she was satisfied she had conveyed her message. 

 

“More than okay,” Clarke nodded with a soft smile, “You’re where I’m supposed to be.” 

 

“Thank god you’re moving to LA,” Lexa spoke as laughter broke through her voice, shaking her head, “Last night was something else.” 

 

“Yes, it sure was. I had a pretty incredible night,” Clarke grinned from ear to ear, “But we do need to get up soon and shower.” 

 

“I need to go and get clothes and I’m not sure I’m willing to get an eyeful of a naked Anya and Raven again,” Lexa said with a shudder, “I don’t want to think about it. I didn’t even know Anya was into girls until this summer; I guess she is more free spirited than I thought.” 

 

“I’m not ready to leave this place yet, I’m not ready to go back to Texas, “Clarke spoke quietly, the grin fading from her face slowly, “I’m ready for my stuff to be packed already but I’m not ready to go back there.”

 

“I’m not ready for you to go either,” Lexa admitted, propping herself up on her elbow so she could keep her eye contact with Clarke, “That’s going to take you more than a week too.”

 

“I’m hoping it’s not,” Clarke responded quickly, “I don’t want to be in that apartment longer than I have to be and I know you don’t want that either.” 

 

“No, I don’t but it does make sense that you stay there if you are moving out of there,” Lexa said with a sigh, “I do trust you.” 

 

“And I’m not going to give you any chance to feel like you can’t,” Clarke responded with an understanding tone, reaching up to kiss the tip of Lexa’s nose gently, “I have to tell Finn that you and I are together; he’s not going to like it and I don’t want to hurt him but I need to make that very clear. I’m with you now and that’s exactly how I want it.” 

 

“Okay,” Lexa said with a nod, the corners of her lips tugging into a smile, “So you’re with me now, huh?” 

 

“I thought that was evident last night but I am,” Clarke spoke with a smile on her face that resembled Lexa’s, “I’m not going to be in LA soon enough; I’m really glad I’m going to UCLA. I think it’s the best decision I could have made.” 

 

“I agree,” Lexa nodded, “I’ll pick you up from the airport when you get to LA and I’ll show you the sights once you’re all settled in.” 

 

“You have yourself a date,” The blonde responded, “When do you leave?” 

 

“Well Anya and I booked our plane tickets home on the assumption that we’d want to leave here immediately after the campers left,” Lexa confessed with a furrowed brow and an awkward expression, “So the night camp finishes, we’re on a red eye.” 

 

“I guess I don’t blame you,” Clarke frowned playfully, “I thought we’d have a few days after the campers were gone.”

 

“I know, I guess I just thought I would hate it here as much as I did before.” 

 

“Okay so last night of camp then, I’m going to take everyone out to the other side of the lake; I’ll show you a spot you’ve never seen before so we can have a bonfire as a bit of a farewell to this place,” The younger woman shifted her body to rest on her side, her hand moving to stroke a patch of exposed skin on Lexa’s hips, “My dad used to take mom and I there when everyone always left and I never got the chance to show you before now.” 

 

“I’m in,” Lexa nodded, taking Clarke’s hand to raise to her mouth so she could gently kiss her knuckles, “Let’s just stay in bed.”

 

“We can’t,” Clarke chuckled as Lexa’s phone chimed, both of their attentions being pulled away from each other, “You should look at that, it could be your folks.”

 

“Oh I heard from them last night,” Lexa shook her head lazily, “That was a text tone so that’s probably too much contact for them.”

 

“What do you mean?” Clarke asked with a puzzled expression. 

 

“They responded to my call via email. It was almost robotic; which I guess I have come to expect from them,” Lexa paused as Clarke’s jaw almost fell open, “And the best part was that they said we’ll catch up soon.”

 

“Wow, I’m sorry Lex.” Clarke said sympathetically, giving Lexa’s hand a gentle squeeze, “I can’t believe they emailed you.”

 

“I can, it was expected,” Lexa shrugged as they heard the morning call bell sound; signalling that it was time for everyone to wake up, “So we can’t say we’re sick?” 

 

Clarke leaned over to kiss Lexa deeply, taking the breath from the brunette’s lungs as she poured as much of herself into the kiss as possible; pulling away to rest her forehead against the other girls. 

 

“Thank you for last night,” Clarke whispered, swallowing thickly, “We have to get up now.” 

 

\--- 

 

The last full day of camp had arrived and passed in the blink of an eye. Lexa looked out to the lake as the sun was setting; taking in the sights of the Camp Jaha lake after having packed it up with the exception of a few kayaks that the group were going to take to the other side of the lake; she was done for the summer. She couldn’t believe that she actually more than just tolerated her summer working at the camp, the place she used to dread the most out of everywhere she had ever been. She stood with her hands on her hips as she waited for her friends to arrive, all catering to their various groups before the traditional camp out in the mess hall to mark the very last night of Camp Jaha. Abby was going to make the announcement when parents arrived that Camp Jaha would be shutting down after tomorrow, making way for a new opportunity for the camp itself to grow and allowed her and Clarke to have a break from the place that they had helped run for as long as the blonde could remember. 

 

When Lexa had arrived, she had nothing but bad memories about the place; which deep down made her sad considering how much she came to value to Griffin family as a whole. Something Clarke had said to her the night of the camp out under the stars stayed with Lexa; she called the brunette inevitable to her and that was something Lexa could say she could completely comprehend. Clarke was a beacon of light in Lexa’s life that was always shone brightest when she needed it the most and it never faded even when she was far away; it just took her so long to realise what exactly that meant to her. 

 

She needed to come back to Camp Jaha, she needed closure and she felt like she had gotten it but she also needed hope; she needed a sign to let her know that everything was going to be okay after everything she had gone through over the previous year. In Clarke Griffin, she found that sign. 

 

Lexa turned around to see Raven and Anya make their way down the hill towards the shore where she stood; giving them a small wave as they approached her. 

 

“I’m surprised you two didn’t opt out to spend your time in my cabin,” Lexa commented sarcastically, earning a scoff from both girls. 

 

“Okay well we’re not anti social and it’s Anya’s cabin too,” Raven joked lightly with a smirk, “But can you blame me?” 

 

“And you can’t throw stones, we all saw you and Clarke the other morning looking at each other with after sex eyes,” Anya countered swiftly, taking a step towards her best friend, “I’m surprised it took that long.”

 

“After sex eyes?” Lexa raised her eyebrows, “You couldn’t have possibly seen that.”

 

“Okay well thanks for confirming,” Anya grinned slyly, “And thank god because there were enough pent up feelings between you two to last for years so it had to happen soon.”

 

“Okay well I would appreciate it if you didn’t say anything,” Lexa said quickly and lowly, even though no one was even close to hearing range; feeling a blush rise to her cheeks, “And we’re not trying to rush anything so it was going to happen when it happened.” 

 

“So how was it?” Raven prodded Lexa for information, simply seeing how far she could push the girl. 

 

“For your information it was unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before and I’ll leave it at that,” Lexa folded her arms tightly in front of her. 

 

Anya and Raven responded at the same time, both reacting in different ways as Anya had a disgusted look on her face but Raven had a small smile covering her features. 

 

“There’s your lover girl anyway,” Raven glanced behind them as Lincoln, Bellamy, Jasper, Monty, Octavia and Clarke all walked down with their hands full of supplies for the bonfire, “What took you guys so long?”

 

“Some of us had to actually help bring stuff down,” Bellamy called with a shake of his head. 

 

“So how far away is this spot?” Anya asked with her hands on her hips, “Is it as far as the kayak race markers?”

 

“A little further,” Clarke responded with a nod, moving past Raven and Anya to greet Lexa with a kiss on the cheek; earning a sheepish smile from the brunette, “Are we all ready?” 

 

“I’m pairing up with Lexa,” Anya said quickly as she looked to Raven, “I’m not tipping over again.”

 

“That’s okay,” Raven said with a shrug, turning to Clarke, “It’s you and me my friend.”

 

“Let’s do it,” Clarke answered with a nod, placing her hand on Lexa’s forearm to give it a gentle squeeze before moving past her to load up a kayak. 

 

The group kayaked to the other side of the river, attempting to beat the darkness before they could set up their bonfire to make things a little easier for themselves. A few near capsizes by Monty and Jasper who were rocking their own boat a bit too much and numerous questions of whether Clarke was taking them out there to murder her friends later and they had arrived at a clearing that acted as another camping ground on the other side of the lake. 

 

“How have I not been here before?” Lexa asked with wide eyes as she dragged hers and Anya’s kayak to the shore, “This is awesome.”

 

“Well, I thought about coming out here with you a few times,” Clarke shrugged, dumping her bags on the ground, “It would have been a great place for teenage me to confess my giant crush on you.”

 

“That would have been pretty epic,” Lexa laughed to herself heartily. 

 

“You had a giant crush on Lexa when you both were here as campers?” Bellamy asked with wide eyes, overhearing their conversation.

 

“Of course she did, how did you not pick up on the undertones of their conversations?” Octavia questioned her brother seriously, “A story like this has been years in the making. I love Finn and he’s a great guy but we’ve been waiting for someone to come along like Lexa.”

 

“I don’t know about that,” Lexa shook her head with crinkled eyebrows, “But yes, apparently she had a crush on me.” 

 

“To answer your original question, there used to be more trees around here so you would have seen it but you never would have actually noticed it,” Clarke said to the brunette, offering her an explanation, “Dad worked on opening it up before he died because he hoped we could take cabin groups for sleep outs but mom didn’t really want to continue with it once he was gone.”

 

“I think he was onto something,” Lincoln said as he took the view of the sunset on the lake in, “It’s impressive.” 

 

“I think so,” Clarke responded with a nod, “But we need to get this bonfire started before we lose all of our daylight and have to try to start it in the dark.” 

 

Shortly they had a pretty decent bonfire going, finding dead branches and wood easily to help keep the fire going so they could cook their dinner. After everyone had eaten, Bellamy pulled out his guitar and strummed along as everyone talked around the fire; Clarke leaning back on Lexa as she sat between her legs. Lexa savoured the moment being surrounded by people she now considered as friends and the woman she was excited about starting a life together in LA once camp was all over. 

 

“You’re way too beautiful,” Lexa leaned down to whisper in Clarke’s ear, the blonde turning her head slightly so she could look at her with a smile. 

 

“Look who’s talking,” Clarke mumbled as her smile only grew. 

 

“This is a little depressing,” Monty said as he looked around the group with a frown. 

 

“What is?” Octavia asked curiously. 

 

“You’re all making me depressed.” He continued, shaking his head as the frown stayed on his face. 

 

“Aw thanks, bud.” Raven said sarcastically, throwing a small rock gently in his direction. 

 

”Look at you all. Octavia has Lincoln, Clarke has Lexa, Raven has Anya,” Monty listed before he was interrupted by Lexa. 

 

“Yeah but they won’t admit that,” Lexa called, hearing Clarke laugh in front of her. 

 

“Bellamy has his guitar,” Monty groaned, throwing his hands up, “You’ve all got someone and here I am sitting by myself.”

 

“Well, to be fair, Jasper is sitting by himself too,” Raven offered, wiggling her eyebrows quickly, “You can’t tell me that you two are just best friends.”

 

“We are!” Jasper exclaimed. 

 

“Okay,” Raven said with an exasperated tone, rolling her eyes jokingly, “So are Clarke and Lexa supposedly because they haven’t put a label on it but they’re having sex.”

 

“Raven!” Clarke said with wide eyes as the group howled with laughter, Lexa placing her face in the side of Clarke’s neck and shaking her head, “First of all, there is no way we’re just friends and don’t I need to put a label on it to make it official or can’t two adults proceed with their relationship without the childish conversation..”

 

“I don’t think it’s that childish if it gives some clarity,” Lexa admitted, bringing her face from Clarke’s neck to glance around the group, “Am I your girlfriend?” 

 

“I think that’s pretty clear,” Clarke responded with a hopeful tone only for her eyes to widen in panic, “Only if that’s what you want and you’re ready for that.”

 

“I’m more than ready.” Lexa nodded with the widest smile she could manage, pressing a kiss to Clarke’s lips in front of the group who quietly laughed quietly before continuing their conversation, the blonde pulling away from the kiss to look the older woman in the eyes. 

 

“So are you sure you’re ready for that?” Clarke spoke in a hushed tone, knowing a conversation was continuing around them, “If you’re worried that maybe I’m not, don’t because I just didn’t want to push the envelope.”

 

“You’re the one who is just coming off a break up,” Lexa said reassuringly as she scooted around slightly so Clarke didn’t have to continue to look at her from such an awkward angle, “We can wait and see where this goes if that’s what you need.”

 

“We both know where this goes,” Clarke shook her head with a warm smile, her eyes darting between both of Lexa’s as the reflection of the fire danced from her eyes, “There’s no point denying it, we’d just be wasting more time.” 

 

“I’m all in.” Lexa said earnestly, kissing Clarke once more before they separated; moving back to their original positions, Lexa squeezing Clarke just a little tighter. 

 

“This has been one epic summer,” Bellamy said to the entire group with a strum of his guitar, “Though I think my favourite part actually happened today during the flour part.”

 

“Was that when Gustus nailed Lexa or when Raven got ambushed and totally owned?” Monty questioned bravely, “Because they were both pretty amazing.”

 

“Laugh it up but my team won,” Raven interjected loudly, holding her hands up in front of her, “And I may be cleaning flour from my ears for the next few weeks but the victory was worth it.” 

 

“I actually think the record breaking camp production of Romeo and Juliet should be everyone’s highlight,” Anya offered up to the group in a serious tone, “Camp Jaha was lucky to have a professional on board like me to pull that all together.” 

 

“While it was awesome, though I don’t know what records it broke,” Octavia added quickly, “But you had us working on whatever you could at all hours just so it could happen.”

 

“So I had some help.” Anya shrugged her shoulders. 

 

“Capture the flag was pretty awesome though,” Bellamy added, pointing to Lexa, “My captains orders and Lexa’s speed combined to play an almost perfect game.”

 

“I don’t know if it was perfect,” Jasper retorted with a shake of his head, “We almost got Lexa, if it weren’t for her freakish running abilities. Almost being a doctor and all, being so smart, I didn’t expect you to be able to run like you did.”

 

“I’ve always been involved in athletics, kids wanted me on their teams here when it came to sports and competitions,” Lexa continued the conversation confidently, “Besides, being smart and athletic aren’t exclusive things.” 

 

“Yeah, I mean look at me.” Octavia joked whilst leaning back into Lincoln who nodded supportively, “She has a point though Jasper, maybe that’s why you don’t have a girlfriend.”

 

“Or why Monty won’t date you.” Raven interrupted quickly, laughing loudly at her own joke. 

 

“Shut up,” Monty called jokingly, Raven’s contagious laugh echoed by his own. 

 

“I don’t have a girlfriend because I said you can’t be both smart and athletic?” Jasper questioned the woman across the other side of the bonfire from him. 

 

“You don’t have a girlfriend because you’re too headstrong and you feel intimidated when your ideals are challenged,” Clarke suggested quietly to her friend, “You need to shake out whatever ideas you have of people and let go sometimes.”

 

“So because I said that your girlfriend has freakish running abilities; you’re psychoanalysing me?” Jasper raised his eyebrows, “I can’t wait to hear what else you think once you finish your masters.” 

 

Lexa lost track of the friendly banter at that moment, shrugging off just how great of a feeling it was to be called Clarke’s girlfriend and trying not to show just how much she enjoyed it to the wider group to at least save some face about the fact that she wasn’t totally hopeless when it came to the other woman. 

 

“Guys, this is going to be the last time we’re ever at Camp Jaha,” Bellamy said looking around the group again with a wide smile, “I’m going to miss this place; it’s a pretty sweet gig for the summer.” 

 

“I’m going to miss it too,” Lincoln admitted as well, “We’ll have to all go camping or something next summer to recreate this.”

 

“Clarke can bring Lexa and Anya,” Monty grinned eagerly, “It’ll be just like old times.” 

 

“This place has been a pretty awesome experience,” Octavia joined in with the conversation, “I’m going to miss that high ropes course.”

 

“I’m not,” Lexa said with a shudder, shaking her head quickly, “The closer to the ground I am, the better.”

 

“Which is what made the fact that you climbed up to the top because Clarke was there even more of an epic romantic gesture,” Raven said leaning her head on Anya’s shoulder beside her, “When Clarke told me how you hated heights I figured that she would piece the puzzle together soon enough. You two knew stuff about each other that no one else knew and you were the only one who could find her that night, you were probably the only one she’d listen to.”

 

“I think that was the biggest moment at camp for me this year,” Clarke confessed, leaning back into Lexa further, “It was almost awkward at the time because Finn and I knew that we were done, we were just hanging on because that’s all that we knew for the past few years so I went to the place where I knew no one would find me and it shocked me when she did. It shocked me even more when she climbed up there to sit with me.” 

 

“You would have done the same for me,” Lexa shrugged, “Though I will admit that I was way too happy to touch the ground again when we eventually got down.” 

 

“At least we know you’re in good hands when she moves to LA,” Octavia said with a nod, “And now at least we will have a place to stay when we go there.” 

 

“We never go to LA.” Lincoln shook his head with a cocked eyebrow. 

 

“Yeah but we will now,” Octavia explained seriously, hitting Lincoln on the knee gently. 

 

“I can’t believe how much everything changed over one summer,” Clarke mumbled quietly, only loud enough for Lexa to hear, who didn’t say anything but gave the younger woman a gentle kiss on the back of her neck and a quick squeeze, “But I kind of wish it happened sooner.”

 

“I know what you mean,” Lexa whispered in response, knowing exactly what Clarke meant. 

 

They were closing one long, complicated chapter in their lives and they were about to open another. The future was scary and unpredictable but neither of the girls had ever been so excited about unpredictability before.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well here it is! The last chapter.
> 
> Sorry this whole thing took so long! If anyone is still reading this, thank you :)

The camp grounds fell the quietest they had been since the beginning of summer; the loud laughter and chatter of campers being replaced with the almost silent sounds of nature and quiet conversations of camp leaders as the last of the campers were picked up. The last day was filled with sadness and joy for everyone involved in Camp Jaha. Campers were devastated saying goodbye to their summer camp friends but being happy to return to their families and their normal lives. It was something Lexa could sympathise with; knowing that Camp Jaha gave her Clarke and every summer she was more than excited to leave but it saddened her more than she realised to leave the youngest Griffin. 

 

When it was announced that Camp Jaha would be no longer after they left, it made it even more difficult for the campers to leave; knowing that they wouldn’t come back and some of them may never see each other in person again. The decision didn’t come to a shock to parents though, Abby Griffin was about to start a new journey, which everyone could appreciate that she needed after looking after the entire camp with Clarke’s assistance since her husband had died; needing a change that came in the way of selling the land that Camp Jaha stood on. 

 

Lexa watched on after volunteering herself for parking lot duty as the last few cars pulled away from the camp grounds; hitting her that their summer was done and she was about to return to LA and really face the music she hadn’t had time to before she came back to Colorado. 

 

“So that’s it,” Gustus’ deep voice echoed through the parking lot as he stood behind her with a small smile, “A little birdy told me that you have to leave tonight.”

 

“I never realised that birds could talk out here,” Lexa turned around as she looked up to the trees, “Smart birds.”

 

“I’ve got to head home tonight too, husband duty calls.” Gustus placed his hands on his hips, bringing his hand up to wave goodbye to a camper who stuck her head out the window as they left the long driveway, “I’m going to miss this place.”

 

“You’re not going to take an interview with the corporate retreat camp?” Lexa asked, completely surprised with the fact that Gustus might have been leaving the place for good, “They’d be stupid not to keep you. You practically know everything about this place.”

 

“You’ve been coming here for a lot longer than me,” Gustus shrugged, “I think you’d be well equipped to yourself.”

 

“I could but then there’s the whole issue of me leaving medical school when I’m a year away from graduating and I’m supposed to be interning at a hospital,” 

 

“Paediatrician, Clarke told me. That’s important work; make sure you stick to it,” Gustus offered as he turned around to face the camp, gesturing for Lexa to do the same and follow him, “I can handle kids but I don’t know if I could handle a bunch of corporates coming in here for shallow team building just so they can make their boss more money. I’ve done something like that before and it’s not worth it. With kids, you can tell them to stop it and they will eventually once they understand that you’re telling them something for a reason; adults think they know everything and want to do things their way and their way only. I work this summer job because I love it and I work it because I’m a good friend to the Griffins; I always promised Jake I would work at Camp Jaha for as long as he did.” 

 

“That must have been hard when he died, I can’t even imagine what that was like for everyone here,” Lexa muttered, looking down to her feet as they walked slowly back to the camp grounds, “I’m kind of glad I didn’t come back because I didn’t have to see everyone go through that. I know that’s selfish but I don’t know how you got through that first summer.” 

 

“It was tough,” Gustus admitted, clearing his throat quickly, “And I haven’t seen Clarke really enjoy this place like she did this year with you here. I think she needed that so I’m glad you decided to come back.”

 

“I’m glad too,” Lexa said with a surprised tone, not totally used to the level of seriousness coming from Gustus, 

 

“I’m just going to go home and stick to teaching; I don’t need a summer job anymore. Hell, my wife might have a heart attack when I tell her I’m planning on taking her on a holiday next summer now instead.” Gustus spoke with a smile on his face and joy in his tone.

 

“That’s great,” Lexa said sincerely as she eyed the large man; noting how intimidating he could be but how he made every effort to not come across as that in any shape or form, “And don’t worry, I don’t plan on skipping out on my scholar duties from now.”

 

“Yeah a little birdy also told me that you went to Europe for a year and put your studies on hold,” 

 

“Your little birdy has a big mouth,” Lexa countered instantly, hearing Gustus laugh loudly at her comment, “You were right when you told me I was determined so I won’t go our of my way to prove you wrong.”

 

“Please don’t, I hate when that happens,” The older man’s laughter quietened as they continued to walk, “Now I don’t want to have to do this but in Jakes absence I have to remind you just how precious his daughter is to both him and everyone else on this property. She has been through a lot and transferring to UCLA is a decision we all think is best for her and although I like Finn; I could see she’s been unhappy for a while. So I was relieved to hear her talking about you when she saw your name on the staff list but I need you to take care of her; don’t make me have to repay you back for tipping my kayak over last week.”

 

“To be fair, that was all Clarke,” Lexa began defensively with a small smile, “But I know how much Mr Griffin and Clarke meant to each other and hopefully Clarke knows how much she means to me.” 

 

“I’m sure she does,” Gustus responded with a nod, placing his hand on Lexa’s shoulder and squeezing it firmly, “You’re a good kid, Lexa. Don’t let anything steer you off your path, okay?” 

 

“You have my word.” The young brunette replied looking down to her feet once more, wishing she had more time to know Gustus as a friend; thankful of the words he had just shared with her, “Now, we have a problem here and I think I know how to solve it.”

 

“What might that be?” Lexa asked raising an eyebrow as Gustus removed his hand from her shoulder, taking a few long strides so she could be in front of the young woman. 

 

“By my count, we’re pretty even across all competitions across the summer; both official and unofficial,” Gustus began with a sly smirk appearing on his face. 

 

“I’m not sure that’s actually true,” Lexa furrowed her brows with a shake of her head, “Fairly sure I kicked your ass.” 

 

“Well, how about one last competition between us if you’re so confident with your winnings?” Gustus asked as the grin on his face just continued to steadily grow, “Winner takes all.”

 

“No way, the only person that deal works for is you,” Lexa retorted in disagreement, “No winner takes all.”

 

“Great so the rules are that it’s winner takes all and it’s a race back to the mess hall,” Gustus spoke as if she had agreed, continuing with his sentence as he watched Lexa look on in confusion, “And because I know how headstrong and competitive you are, I know you’ll just chase after me if I start running so I’ll see you at the mess hall.” 

 

With those last words, Gustus took off with a few long strides down the path towards the mess hall, Lexa watching on in disbelief that he had just set something up like that and took off thinking she would chase. She watched him get a little further, feeling an anxiousness grow in her chest before grumbling to herself and moving as quickly as she could to catch up to the large man. 

 

“I didn’t agree to this but I’m about to kick you ass again,” Lexa yelled as she caught up to Gustus, passing him on the thin path as she heard him laugh loudly behind her.

 

Gustus ended up just beating Lexa after pulling her back by her shirt towards the mess hall, allowing himself to touch the wall first. He doubled over immediately, his hands resting on his knees as he breathed as deeply as he could manage. Only standing upright once he felt like he could, seeing Lexa standing in front of him with an unimpressed look on her face. 

 

“So let’s just clarify that I would have won but you cheated,” Lexa folded her arms in front of her, “So I’m not going to count that one at all.”

 

“You have to count it,” Gustus shrugged, placing his hands on the top of his head, “You participated, which means you agreed to the rules.”

 

“No, I didn’t,” 

 

“I’m glad I don’t do that anymore, I’m definitely not as young as I used to be,” Gustus complained with a light hearted chuckle, “Thank you for a very fun summer, remember what we talked about though.” 

 

“I won’t forget,” Lexa said with a playful roll of her eyes, “And I really did kick your ass.”

 

“You actually did,” Gustus admitted with defeat.

 

\--- 

 

The afternoon went quickly, Lexa and Anya spent a majority of their time packing their bags up with their impending departure; the two girls watching the clock aware that they would have to leave for the airport sooner rather than later. The kids were long gone and some of the councillors had already left as well; the mood sombre with Camp Jaha slowly coming to a formal close. 

 

“I hope I have everything,” Anya said as she collapsed on her newly made bed as she looked over to her best friend, “Because I can’t afford to leave anything behind. I’m a poor, struggling actress.”

 

“Well you’ll have a bit of money when you go and get your last paycheque,” Lexa shrugged as she zipped up her bag, reaching up behind her head to tie her hair up in a loose ponytail, “Which we absolutely cannot forget to do.”

 

“If we have money waiting for us, there’s no way that I’m leaving that behind,” Anya responded with a shake of her head, “I’m going to be really sad saying goodbye to our new little group.” 

 

“Me too,” The medical student agreed with a reflective tone, “I’m sure they’ll come visit and I’m sure Raven will definitely come and visit.” 

 

“Yeah, I guess so.” 

 

“Are you really just going to let this pass you?” Lexa questioned, turning her head to look to the older woman with a loud sigh, “You are both so into each other that it would be stupid for you to just let this go because you can’t do relationships or you don’t know how long distance works…I won’t even take the excuse that you just wanted no strings attached because maybe that’s how it started but that’s not how it is now.” 

 

“Lex, I love you but we have been through this before and I’m kind of sick of talking about this now,” Anya said with frustration dripping from her words, “We’re not like you and Clarke so it’s not going to happen.”

 

“You don’t have to be like Clarke and I, you just have to be like Anya and Raven,” Lexa responded to Anya’s frustration with her own, knowing how stubborn her older friend could be when she was unsure about a situation, “I’m not saying that you have to get married because I know that you both aren’t great with being in a committed relationship but I just think that Raven’s made you really happy and I don’t think you should take that for granted. You should figure out something that works for you both.” 

 

“But realistically, how would that work with me in California and her in Texas?” 

 

“That would be for you to work out, my friend,” Lexa said throwing a loose sock of Anya’s at her friend’s face, “I didn’t even know you were into girls, by the way. Thanks for the heads up.”

 

“What did it matter?” Anya said with a shrug, “The fact that you’re gay has never made a difference in this friendship. I just like people and you’re either attractive or you’re not whether you’re male or female.”

 

“I’m not sure that it’s supposed to be said quite like that,” Lexa’s eyes widened in surprise, “Of course it doesn’t matter at all but I have never really seen you date anyone almost the entire time we have been friends.”

 

“I go on dates all the time with women and men, I just don’t really go on more than 2 with the same person,” Anya responded with a shrug, “Plus you totally had a crush on me when you first met Costia so I didn’t want to give you the wrong impression.”

 

“Oh gross,” The younger woman scrunched up her face in disgust, shaking her head, “I did not have a crush on you.” 

 

“Thanks,” Anya deadpanned to Lexa’s reaction, “And I’m fairly sure you did.” 

 

“You’re delusional then because that is so wrong,” Lexa replied, a shudder moving through her body as she shook the thought from her head, “You’re like my sister.” 

 

“Back then I wasn’t.” Anya poked jokingly, knowing how much of a reaction she was still getting from Lexa. 

 

“Stop!” Lexa exclaimed as she stood from the floor, pushing her bag close to the door, “Have you heard from Costia since she last contacted you?”

 

“Since I told her I wouldn’t be in her wedding?” 

 

“Yep.” Lexa said simply, not really wanting to go over the awkward subject but needing to find clarity. 

 

“She tried calling me but I didn’t answer,” Anya said casually as she kept her eyes on her best friend, “But it doesn’t matter because you were right in the first place, she was the one in the wrong.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Lexa offered weakly, she did feel bad about the whole situation but at the same time; she figured that Costia made her own bed when she decided to sleep with one of their friends, “I’m sorry you had to choose between us.”

 

“It’s okay,” Anya shrugged quickly, “it is what it is and I’m okay with it.” 

 

“At least you got the best one out of our breakup,” Lexa joked hopelessly, squeezing the back of her neck awkwardly.

 

“It’s fine, you’re totally right. I did get the best one. In all seriousness, thank you for making me come here this summer,” Anya said sincerely with a quiet sigh, “As far as jobs go, this one was way better than the waitressing and there were no sexist pigs in sight. It’s made me feel refreshed and ready to line up some auditions so I can get this show on the road.”

 

“Well thank you for coming here with me,” Lexa replied with a smile, “I’m going to go and get my paycheque and say goodbye to Abby before I go and find everyone.” 

 

“Okay, I’m going to find Raven so I’ll probably see you back here when it’s time to go,” Anya nodded, throwing the sock back at Lexa, “Don’t leave without me. I might like this place now but I’m ready to go home.” 

 

“We’ll see.” Lexa joked as she was halfway out the door, closing it behind her as a smile grew on her face. 

 

The Camp Jaha office was the only place that was busy throughout the entire campgrounds, councillors coming and going to collect their paycheques with keys and other supplies being returned for the final time. Lexa opened the door after a quiet knock, pausing as she saw Abby sitting at the desk with reading glasses on, flicking through a file.

 

“I can come back if you’re busy,” Lexa offered as she popped her head through the door, causing Abby to jump slightly as she looked up at the brunette who startled her, “Sorry.”

 

“No that’s okay, I was just going through a few old files,” Abby said, motioning for Lexa to come in, “I figured I should get started on the pack up sooner rather than later. Have you come to pick up your paycheque?” 

 

“That and to say goodbye as well as thank you for allowing me to come back here this year,” Lexa closed the door behind her and took a few steps towards the desk, “I’ve done a lot of healing here over the summer but I didn’t thank you and Mr. Griffin when I came here for always looking out for me. It would have been a shame for me to hate this place as much as I did when I came here seeing as it’s now shutting down.”

 

“You’re very welcome,” Abby responded with a warm smile, taking off her reading glasses to place them on the table, “Jake would have been so happy to see you back, we were all a bit upset when you didn’t come back that year.”

 

“Teenage me just needed a break.” Lexa shrugged awkwardly. 

 

“No one was more upset though when Clarke finally realised that you weren’t coming,” Abby recalled with amusement on her tone, “I actually think I recall her begging me to call your house and find out why you were late.” 

 

“Your daughter has always looked out for me,” Lexa chuckled at the memories of the younger woman when they went to camp together before her face sobered up, “And I wanted to thank you for being so kind about the whole situation with Clarke and I. I know it started off less than ideal with her being here with Finn but I don’t take any of this lightly and I’m really excited for her to come to UCLA. I’ll do my best to make sure that she is at home there and I’m not going to let her regret moving there” 

 

“I need to apologise to you.” Abby sighed quietly, gesturing for Lexa to take a seat across from her.

 

“You do?” Lexa raised an eyebrow as she obliged to sit down across from the camp leader. 

 

“I remember a conversation you and I had about her transferring to UCLA and how awkward you must have felt when I rambled about how great she and Finn were together and how I hoped she didn’t give him up because he was great for her,” Abby clarified her apology almost awkwardly, “Yes, Finn was good for her but I haven’t seen her this happy since before her father died. You’re perfect for her now and where she needs to be.”

 

“I don’t blame you nor did I take any offence of what you said,” Lexa said with a shake of her head, “I completely understand and I understand even more why you were so cautious about us when you walked in on us.”

 

“I was just concerned that Clarke might have been rushing into something she wasn’t ready for but the truth is that she is a big girl. She can look after herself and after I talked to her about it, she made it clear that she wasn’t rushing into anything and that she and Finn hadn’t really been anything more than friends for a long time,” Abby continued to speak, both of her hands on the desk in front of her, “She’s in good hands, I know that and I’m excited for her to be going to UCLA. If she wants to feel close to Jake then I can’t stop her and I don’t want to; she deserves that.” 

 

“Thank you,” Lexa said with a humbled, quiet tone, “And Camp Jaha has given me good memories this summer, it’s not longer a place that I dread when I think about it.”

 

“Good, that was something I was worried about when I saw your application come across my desk,” Abby said with a warm smile, “I think this year has been one of the best for Camp Jaha.”

 

“What made you go ahead with the decision to sell it?” Lexa asked curiously, hoping not to have pushed the conversation too far; knowing it was a bit of a private matter.

 

“Well, Clarke is going to UCLA and as I said to you; I had to beg her to come back this year. This place holds a lot of joy for our family but with Jake gone; it also tremendous amount of sadness,” Abby responded honestly, her voice raw as she continued to talk, “I almost sold it the year that Jake passed, I didn’t want to come back here at all.”

 

“So why didn’t you?” 

 

“Because Clarke needed to come back, whether she knew it at the time or not but I think it really helped her grieve and accept what happened,” Abby replied with a sad smile, “I also couldn’t bring myself to do it then but I’m ready to now.”

 

“Well I’m sure you have a lot to get done and I need to keep moving but again, thank you.” Lexa spoke quietly as she stood from the chair, “Clarke is extremely lucky to have a mother like you.” 

 

“You are very welcome,” Abby’s smile warmed again, standing from her chair and walking around the desk to stand in front of the younger woman, “And I’m sure I will be seeing you around seeing as you and my daughter are now together so it’s not really goodbye.”

 

“I guess not.” Lexa nodded as her chest tightened, feeling her stomach flip knowing that Clarke was hers. 

 

“Look after my girl when she moves, okay?” Abby asked seriously, pulling Lexa into a quick hug that the medical student was not expecting but returned almost clumsily none the less.

 

“I promise I will,” Lexa answered simply as Abby pulled back from the hug, handing Lexa’s cheque to her as the door opened with another councillor popping their head through, “Thank you.”

 

“You’re very welcome,” Abby smiled with a nod before Lexa moved back outside of the camp office. 

 

She paused with a smile on her face as she processed their conversation. Abby had always been a wonderful and kind woman but Lexa always found her difficult to read at times to the fact that she had so openly expressed her approval to her was no small feat. She could only think of one last thing that would make it a perfect end to her Camp Jaha experience and she had a very good idea as to where she would find the woman she was looking for. 

 

Her steps were rushed as she walked through the empty camp grounds, following the winding path as it lead away from the cabins; wanting to find Clarke as soon as possible not because she knew she had to leave soon but because she couldn’t wait to see her. She continued her pace through the uneven ground, smiling when she saw exactly what she knew she would, her heartbeat increasing instantly as she looked up to find Clarke’s legs dangling from the high ropes platform. 

 

“How did I know of all the places, you’d be here?” Lexa asked with her hands on her hips, her eyes squinting from the afternoon sun.

 

“You just know me,” Clarke said with a shrug, looking down with a grin that spread from ear to ear, “I was just about to come down so I could find you. Did you get your paycheque?”

 

“I did, I just saw your mom and spoke with her too,” Lexa waved her paycheque in the air quickly before folding it neatly and tucking it into her back pocket before approaching the ladder, “Is there room for another?”

 

“What are you doing, Lex? You hate it up here,” Clarke laughed quietly, shaking her head, “I’ll come down.”

 

“Yeah but you love it up there and that’s exactly where you should get to stay,” Lexa said bravely, her hands shaking as soon as she got to the ladder, “Coming up.”

 

“You don’t need to do that again, you proved you’d do it once.” Clarke looked down below at the woman who was slowly scaling the ladder up towards her, “it’s really okay.”

 

“This was a lot easier when I couldn’t see much,” Lexa laughed nervously as she made it towards the top, pausing and shutting her eyes tightly, “Oh god, how do you like it up here?!” 

 

“It gives me clarity,” Clarke explained quickly, “if you hurt yourself because of me, I’m going to be really mad.”

 

“I’m fine,” Lexa called, unconvinced at the words she was saying as her hand touched the top of the platform, feeling Clarke’s hand pulling gently on her arm for support, “See, I…oh my god.” 

 

“You’re okay,” Clarke said reassuringly as she pulled Lexa as close as she could manage, taking the brunette’s hand in her own and intertwining their fingers, “You’re totally safe.”

 

“I do recall the various warnings we used to get as campers about even approaching this place without ropes when we were younger,” Lexa said shakily, her eyes shutting tightly as she swallowed thickly, “It was romantic and supportive the first time but now it’s just stupid.” 

 

“I told you I was coming down,” Clarke interjected one more time, “But thank you for coming up here, this really is one of my favourite spots here. It sounds stupid but something about being up here gives me a feeling of being closer to my dad.”

 

“If that’s how you feel then it’s not stupid,” Lexa shook her head, exhaling sharply as she opened her eyes, “When you get over the fact that you could fall and die, it’s actually pretty nice up here.” 

 

“I don’t want you to leave so soon,” Clarke admitted after a moment of comfortable silence passed between the two, her thumb gently stroking the back of Lexa’s hand, “I kind of want to just stay in this bubble for a little while longer.”

 

“I know what you mean,” Lexa responded with a nod, pressing her back further against the wide, wooden post, “It’s going to be weird tomorrow morning not being able to just come and see you but you’ve got to go home and pack your stuff so we can see each other every day and so you can go to UCLA like you’re finally going to get to do.”

 

“I’m really excited.” Clarke added with a wide grin, “As much as I don’t want to leave this place just yet, I’m really excited to start a new chapter and I’m even more excited that I get to start it with you.” 

 

“It’s no small deal, Clarke. You’re moving your life across the country so don’t underestimate the significance of it,” Lexa advised as she felt Clarke rest her head on her shoulder, “But whatever you need, I’ll help you with and you’ll have Anya there for you as well.” 

 

“So, now that camp is over and we’re never going to come back here again,” Clarke began, turning her head to press a soft kiss on Lexa’s shoulder before returning it to lean against the medical student, “Officially, has your mind now changed about Camp Jaha?”

 

“Yes,” Lexa said simply with a nod, “I told your mom before that coming back this year has healed a lot of old wounds for me, ones that I wasn’t even aware were still open. Which is mostly because of you.”

 

“I don’t know if my mom told you but she had to beg me to come back here this year because I didn’t even want to think about this place after coming back here without my dad,” Clarke said steadily, Lexa knowing her brave voice was only hiding her vulnerability, “It just felt so wrong and everywhere I turned I was reminded of him when I didn’t want to be.” 

 

“She told me.” Lexa admitted with a nod, giving Clarke’s hand a squeeze as she kept her eyes planted firmly on the trees ahead of her rather than the ground below. 

 

“The only reason I came here was because of how much I knew mom needed my help and how unfair it would have been if she asked me to go and I didn’t when I knew she was in even more pain than I was,” Clarke explained as she lifted her head from Lexa’s shoulder to look at the other girl, reaching her free hand to hook the brunette’s chin gently so she could hold her eye contact, “But you made me fall in love with this place again this year and I’m really grateful for that.”

 

“I didn’t do anything,” Lexa’s body filled with warmth as she watched the sincerity pour from Clarke’s beautiful blue eyes, knowing she would pinch herself everyday at the fact that she was able to call the gorgeous woman her girlfriend, “All I did was come here and cause a hell of a lot of confusion.”

 

“Maybe you caused some chaos but I was never confused,” Clarke chuckled, leaning in to press her lips to Lexa’s softly, “You’re where I belong and I’m glad I realised that before I made a bad decision.”

 

“So am I,” Lexa said with her voice just above a whisper as her eyes fluttered open, “I see what you mean about this bubble.” 

 

“You were right though, we have to get back so you can make sure you’ve still got your internship because you need to graduate and start helping so many people like you’re destined to do and I need to pack my stuff and move to LA so I can finish my masters in psychology,” Clarke admitted with a nod, “And most importantly, we have to work out how we’re going to do all of that together because that’s how it’s always supposed to have been.” 

 

“You’re right,” Lexa smiled, stealing a kiss from Clarke’s lips; only pulling away to exhale deeply, “Do you think that we could maybe alter our destinies a bit because I have a feeling that I might be stuck up here so I might need to apply for a job at the corporate retreat.” 

 

“You’re ridiculous,” Clarke laughed with a playful roll of her eyes, Lexa not being able to carry on with her joke because of how hypnotising she found the blonde’s laugh to be, hoping she would be able to hear it as often as possible for a very long time, “Don’t be so dramatic.”

 

“Who is being dramatic?” Lexa asked with laughter of her own, “I can’t confidently say I’m actually able to move right now though.”

\--- 

3 weeks later. 

 

Lexa paced inside the bedroom of Anya’s apartment, her heart pounding and her mouth dry as she looked at her phone to checkfor notifications for what felt like the hundredth time in the past hour. It had been three weeks since she had left Camp Jaha, three weeks since she had left Clarke to come back home to LA. It had been two since Clarke had been back in Texas and in her apartment, trying to move out as soon as she possibly could. It had been an interesting two weeks, Finn not taking the news of Clarke and Lexa too well and making the blonde’s life a little more difficult than what it needed to be so Lexa was anxious to have the younger woman there as soon as possible. Thankfully, Clarke’s friend’s had been super supportive and helping her out wherever possible to ensure she could move on her planned date; even if it meant she was leaving them. 

 

Lexa had run straight back into her life, regaining her internship at the UCLA children’s hospital after her deferral ended; knowing she was in for a years worth of terrible pay, long shifts and hard work but she knew it would be worth it once she had finally graduated. Lexa kept her word and went to inspect an apartment for Clarke that wasn’t too far away from her own apartment complex; taking her on a virtual tour via facetime. They found themselves on facetime each night for hours at a time, never feeling like it was long enough and both ready for the distance between them to come to an end as soon as Clarke’s moving day arrived. That moving day happened to be that very day and Lexa should have been sent a notification of Clarke’s impending arrival any minute from her flight tracker app so she could pick the younger woman up and take her to her apartment for the first time. 

 

“Anya, tell her to stop pacing; it’s giving me a stress headache,” Raven said over Facetime, groaning quietly as Anya turned the camera to face herself once more with a chuckle.

 

Raven and Anya had stayed in close contact since the end of Camp Jaha, frequently texting and calling each other whenever they got the chance. Raven even booking a flight to LA in a few weeks time once Clarke had settled into her apartment and her new life. They hadn’t put any labels on it and there was no talk of exclusivity but it was clear that what was going between them wasn’t going to just disappear and they weren’t interested in anyone else. 

 

“I can hear you myself, Raven,” Lexa said with a frantic tone, “And what if she changes her mind? What if after all that time on the plane she decides that she wants Finn after spending time with him again or that she wants to stay in Texas.” 

 

“Lexa, Finn has been nothing but a jerk to Clarke since she told him about your relationship and even if he was the sweetest guy in the world; she is totally fixated on you and UCLA,” Raven reassured Lexa firmly, “I dropped her at the god damned airport myself and we cried so I know for a fact that she isn’t going to do a 360 and turn around to come back. Your girl is on her way and she isn’t changing her mind.” 

 

As soon as Raven had finished talking, Lexa’s phone beeped and her heart leapt into her throat as she saw the notification of Clarke’s plane arriving soon. 

 

“I’ve got to go!” Lexa called as she practically ran out of Anya’s apartment, hearing the two girls wish her good luck but she was far too focussed on getting to the airport as soon as she could to respond to anything that was said. 

 

The traffic was a nightmare and it didn’t help that her anxiety was sky high at the impending arrival of her girlfriend; her body practically aching to be waiting in that airport for when Clarke arrived. She kept her eye on the flight tracker as she drove, finding a park at the airport just as her plane touched down; rushing inside as quickly as she could to get to arrivals in order to meet the blonde. Her phone chimed twice, two text messages from Clarke expressing how excited and nervous she was to have landed; unable to contain the fact that she had missed Lexa over the past three weeks. 

 

Lexa watched as strangers started to emerge from security, her heart feeling as if it were about to explode into a million pieces; feeling it beat through her entire body. She rubbed her sweaty palms against her jeans; swallowing thickly as more and more people poured out of security and into arrivals until she saw a glimpse of that blonde hair and those blue eyes she had been waiting to see in person again. Clarke shuffled through the people walking slowly, two large suitcases in tow with a backpack on and another bag in her hands; dropping everything as soon as she was in front of Lexa so that she could wrap her into an engulfing embrace. Lexa gripped tightly at the back of Clarke’s shirt, holding onto it so tightly as if she thought the blonde might float away if she lessened her grip; hearing a heavy sigh being exhaled from the blondes mouth.

 

“I’m so glad you’re here.” Lexa whispered into Clarke’s ear, placing a gentle kiss in her hair as she felt the blonde pull away slightly; only to bring her hands to cup the older woman’s cheeks and kiss her firmly. 

 

Lexa smiled into the kiss, knowing it had only been three weeks but feeling as if it were a lifetime ago when they were sitting out on the high ropes platform at Camp Jaha. Now they were in each other’s real lives, they could spend whatever time they had getting to know each other again outside of the camp grounds.

 

“That was the longest three weeks,” Clarke said shaking her head, her smile so wide that it began to hurt her cheeks, “I’m finally here.”

 

“Yes, you are,” Lexa grinned an equally wide smile, “You live in LA now.” 

 

“Thank god,” Clarke said with a shake of her head, leaning in to steal another kiss from Lexa before bending down to pick up one of her bags. 

 

“Let me grab those,” Lexa said as she moved to pick up the two large suitcases before Clarke could protest, “Let me walk you to the car my lady and we’ll get you to your apartment.”

 

“Thank you for all your help with that, you have been a lifesaver,” Clarke said thankfully, placing her arm around Lexa’s waist as they began to walk to her car, “This would have been so much worse without you.”

 

“I’m sorry he gave you so much trouble, I feel horrible,” Lexa admitted, glancing back to Clarke who shook her head frantically and waved her off. 

 

“You shouldn’t apologise for Finn, he chose to make my life difficult and you worked hard to make it a little easier for me,” Clarke said with a shrug, squeezing Lexa’s waist tightly, “He chose to be immature even though I was completely honest and open with him about everything. I understand his feelings were hurt and all I could do was apologise but you had nothing to do with how he acted. That’s over now though and I’m here, we’re together so that’s all that matters.”

 

“You’re right,” Lexa said with a sigh of relief, savouring the fact that she wasn’t going to have to say goodbye to Clarke for that long again for a while, “And now you live here, near me.” 

 

“In my own apartment,” Clarke responded with excitement lining her tone, “Raven is itching to come and visit already.”

 

“She was on facetime with Anya when I left to come and get you.”

 

“They’re ridiculous,” Clarke chuckled, shaking her head; puzzled by their situation, “Thank you for coming to pick me up by the way, you didn’t have to.”

 

“I’m your girlfriend, of course I did,” Lexa explained with a shrug, “Besides, now I get to walk you into your apartment and help you set yourself up.”

 

“I still have to get used to hearing that,” Clarke said happily, placing a kiss on Lexa’s cheek, “There’s not much in my apartment at the moment but hopefully some of my stuff will arrive tomorrow.”

 

“You have a mattress and a few other things at least so you’ll survive the night.”

 

“I’ll be fine, I’m just really excited to go in and actually be there rather than just seeing through my phone,” Clarke responded, pulling out her phone, “I should text my mom and tell her I’m here.”

 

“Probably a good idea, at least she’ll know that I didn’t just leave you at the airport in a new city by yourself,” Lexa nodded quickly, her eyes widening as they arrived at her car; popping the trunk to load Clarke’s suitcases, “How is she anyway? Has she come to the terms now that Camp Jaha is no longer?” 

 

“She totally has and she’s happy,” Clarke responded honestly, “It was definitely time for her to move on.”

 

“I’m sure she will be even more comfortable with time,” Lexa nodded, speaking honestly as her thoughts turned to the task ahead,  
”We’ll get you settled tonight and over the weekend; then I’ll show you across campus before you start classes and before I get too deep in my internship. I can drop you in when our schedules match.”

 

“I’m liking this whole living close together thing already,” Clarke chuckled, helping Lexa lug her belongings into the back of the small car; pushing Lexa gently up against the car once the trunk was closed and stealing a lingering kiss from the brunette, “I missed you.”

 

“I missed you too,” Lexa agreed as the smile that only Clarke could cause spread over her lips, shaking her head at the effect the blonde had on her, “This is crazy.”

 

“It really is.” Clarke laughed once more, placing yet another kiss on Lexa’s lips, “But I know it’s the best decision I have made in a very long time. 

 

The two reunited women drove through traffic and seemingly endless roadwork happily, catching up about things they had already talked about during the three weeks they had been apart. Shortly after they had arrived at Clarke’s apartment block, she collected her key and opened the door with much excitement; turning to Lexa as she saw a small banner saying ‘Welcome Home Clarke’ strung up on the wall as she walked in. 

 

“I made friends with the landlord after being here a few times for you already,” Lexa said casually, warmly smiling whilst watching the other woman practically beaming with excitement, “Come on, let’s get you settled in so we can just relax before we move organise everything tomorrow.” 

 

“You know that you don’t have to help me do anything, right?” Clarke turned to the other woman as they stood in the doorway, “This isn’t your responsibility.”

 

“I know it’s not,” Lexa responded quietly, “And I know you could handle all of this on your own but I want to help you if you’ll allow it. I’ve kept all day free for everything you need help with.” 

 

“What about the rest of the night? Have you kept that free?” Clarke asked, closing the door behind her and locking it; turning on the lights to her new apartment and taking a step into Lexa, who had her hands completely full, “I know it’s pretty bare but will you stay here tonight with me?”

 

“Of course,” Lexa nodded, warmth overcoming her body; feeling as if yet another puzzle piece had just clicked into place with Clarke, “I don’t care if it’s not set up properly; we have a lot of lost time to make up for.”

 

“Years I think.” Clarke replied in agreement. 

 

They spent their evening unpacking whatever they could that Clarke had brought with her on the plane; awaiting a moving truck due to arrive the next day to really start the apartment taking shape but they were truly just happy to be in each others company once more. Lexa ordered Thai food to Clarke’s apartment, the two sitting on the floor in the small lounge room; looking out the open window from the third floor out onto the busy street. Lexa could have gone home, she didn’t need to sit on the floor and eat out of plastic take out boxes but she did because she wanted Clarke to feel as at home as possible, which made the younger woman grateful to no end. 

 

“So this is a little different to what I was expecting my first night in LA to be like,” Clarke admitted as she handed a take out box to Lexa who sat directly next to her, “I’m really thankful that you organised what you could while I was stuck in Texas. I wanted to get out of there so badly but Finn was being so petty about our lease.”

 

“Which is my fault,” Lexa explained with a sigh and a shake of her head, messing her chopsticks in the food in front of her, “I was almost convinced that you would have changed your mind when you were back in Texas. I thought you’d either decide to not move here or realise that you deserver someone who has their life more together than me.”

 

“Your life is perfectly together, at least you have an apartment with furniture, which is a hell of a lot more than I have right now.” Clarke joked lightly, nudging the brunette next to her, “And I don’t know why you thought that when we literally spoke everyday.” 

 

“I know but I wouldn’t blame you if you did.”

 

“You’re not the only one who felt as if you were utterly and completely flying blind over the past year. This is exactly what I wanted and it’s terrifying moving out here by myself but this is what I needed to do for myself. You said it yourself back in my mom’s office, I was doing what I thought would please everyone else instead of worrying about what I wanted so I’m here now. I’m doing exactly what I want to be doing and I’m here with the person I want to be with.” Clarke spoke with conviction and confidence, pushing any doubt Lexa may have had aside, “And I might be sitting in my apartment on the floor, eating Thai but honestly, I’m not sure if I’ve ever been happier.”

 

“I don’t know, you were pretty happy that one year when your dad planned a mini carnival at Camp Jaha,” Lexa recalled fondly with a shake of her head, “I’m not sure I have ever seen anyone be happier for any reason since.”

 

“That was an awesome day,” Clarke laughed as she too reminisced in her mind, “But I think right now, this tops it. The last three weeks were so stressful and the fact that I’m finally here makes it all worth it.”

 

“It definitely was stressful.” 

 

“But I had you helping me get through it all and I always knew dad would have wanted me to come here; he always talked so fondly of UCLA,” Clarke spoke slowly, her voice dropping off at the end of her sentence, “He would be so happy that I’m here with you now. I’m exactly where I belong and exactly where I’m supposed to be.” 

 

Lexa placed her Thai down in front of her, turning her body to face Clarke; the blonde doing the same as she sensed the brunette needed her attention, even if it was just for a moment. 

 

“You were right about me too, I run from things when I feel like it’s all too much,” Lexa admitted with a nod, reaching out to take Clarke’s hands in her own, “You were right about something else as well.”

 

“I’m right about a few things so I’ll need you to clarify.” Clarke joked playfully, shifting slightly to bring Lexa’s hand to her mouth to kiss her knuckles gently. 

 

“You have been right in front of me, just like this, for so long and I know we were young but if I didn’t run from Camp Jaha when it got too difficult then maybe we would have made this realisation a while ago but I feel the same way as you do. You’re all I know and you’re inevitable to me too, Clarke Griffin,” Lexa said seriously, seeing a look of pure affection and adoration reflecting into her own eyes, “I probably sound like a hallmark card here and you’ll have to forgive me for being so cliché but I see it now. Being back here with fresh eyes and a new perspective makes everything a lot clearer because I never believed in any of this before you stepped back into my life.”

 

“I know exactly what you mean,” Clarke’s voice broke just above a whisper, feeling her heartbeat pick up as the brunette continued to speak.

 

“I made a wrong decision by leaving Camp Jaha so early and the universe corrected me when Costia cheated on me because we are exactly where we need to be right now,” Lexa felt such a powerful sensation of every emotion she could possibly experience break over her like a huge wave rolling into the shore, “You’re who I’m supposed to be with and I have absolutely no doubt about that, I have absolutely no problem sounding like a complete sap if I can explain to you just exactly what I’m feeling.” 

 

“I’m glad you see things the way I do,” Clarke’s hand moved to the base of Lexa’s neck, her grip tightening around the brunette as she opened her mouth to speak once more.

 

“So I wouldn’t care if we were sitting on your apartment floor for a very long time; if I’m next to you doing it, I don’t really care.” Lexa shrugged, bringing her hand to follow Clarkes’ leaving her hand to rest on Clarke’s forearm, “You and I are going to kick the world’s ass and good luck to anyone who tries to stop us.”

 

“God help them.” Clarke grinned from ear to hear, feeling Lexa capture her lips in a kiss; savouring the moment when she too felt as if everything had fallen into place. 

 

It was early days and they knew the hard work was all ahead of them now that they were back to reality but neither of them would stop working hard for each other and they would fight for every opportunity they had to ensure that they made up for lost time and made it work, no matter what. Lexa knew the spark would never leave Clarke’s eyes and the blonde knew that the medical student would never stop fighting for her because if they hadn’t have fought both with each other and for each other during their summer at Camp Jaha; they would have never known what awaited them if they had have only been brave enough. They were at the beginning of their journey, knowing their intense feelings would only grow over time. That night, they made a silent promise that no matter what hardships were presented to them or no matter what rewards the gained, they would never forget the little things that brought them together in the first place and would always place each other as the first priority as that’s what they each deserved.

 

So that’s exactly what they did.

**Author's Note:**

> Come and talk to me on Tumblr! danistalley12.tumblr.com :)


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